Tasogare-iro no Uta Tsukai:Volume2 Dream Play
Dream Play: I Pray, Let Me Redo That Day, That Time[edit]
The whole world before my eyes was engulfed by flames.
From the recital contest, laughing voices resounded. Or at least they should have— In a second, the laughter changed to screams.
A nightmare. Yes, it was a manifestation of fear that probably couldn’t exist in reality.
The school buildings, the campus, the plaza. Unrelenting flames burned everywhere the eye could see. The tongues of flame danced as they were stirred up by a strong wind and from those coals, more fire sprouted.
From the students came unstopping screams, jeers, and crying voices. Mixed in with that were the teachers’ hurried orders.
Chaos gave birth to more chaos and fear caused more fear to arise.
The three-headed monster that appeared from the shadow of the school building had injured students. In order to protect the students, teachers had sustained injuries. The chains of sacrifice. The spiral of pain.
……I averted my eyes from all that and ran away.
I wasn’t doing anything bad. I was simply following instructions to take refuge. That’s right, just like my classmates had done so that time, I was simply one of the students who couldn’t recite well enough and had to move appropriately.
‘Is that really how it is?’
Suddenly, I heard someone’s voice. No, I understood the true nature of that voice.
It was a voice most familiar to me, none other than my own voice.
It was the me who had one year ago severed my ties to the past without looking back.
‘That time, did you really do all that you could have done?’
In front of me were classmates who trembled from confronting a chimera. Friends whose teeth chattered in fear.
There was a friend who had been wounded by the chimera. In front of the monster was a teacher who risked her life trying to help the student.
“I…… can’t do any Recitation well enough yet.”
I’m not able to use any Recitation that could oppose the chimera.
‘Therefore, the natural thing to do is to run away?’
……Yes, exactly. That’s me, a powerless Reciter.
‘That’s wrong.’
With an unchanging cold voice, my auditory hallucination piercingly responded. I couldn’t chase that voice out of my head.
‘Because, you are not a Reciter.’
Aren’t I attending this Recitation school?
I want to become a Reciter, which is why I’m studying every day.
‘You are simply attending a Recitation school, and simply pretending to learn about reciting.’
I’m not pretending. I…… I’m studying here every day, taking tests, and working hard together with my classmates. Isn’t that plenty?
‘Plenty? Your actions that day at that time, are you calling it plenty?’
……Enough already. Stop it already. That’s already something done and over with.
I accepted it myself. ……Isn’t that good enough?
‘It isn’t over. Because, you are lying to yourself. You are lying to you, your teachers, and even your friends in your class.’
……I-It isn’t a lie.
I didn’t intend for it to be like that—
‘That’s right. You probably aren’t lying. But you aren’t telling the truth either. You didn’t tell them that you aren’t actually a student intending to learn Recitations.’
That’s enough. Stop it, stop it already. Please……
I’m, I’m—
‘You are simply pretending to be a student at this Recitation school, Gil—Exorci—'
“Stop iiiiiiiiiiit!”
With a loud scream, the girl leaped out of bed.
Her body was flushed and refused to cool down, while her heartbeat pounded so loudly that her chest hurt. Gripping her chest, she gazed briefly at the light spilling in from beyond the curtains—
……It was a dream?
Finally, the girl realized that it was a hallucination.
“—Are you okay?”
At the sudden voice behind her, she turned around.
Beside her bed was another bed. Sitting up from the other bed was her companion, who she had become familiar with long ago.
It was a girl with black hair and a tall, slender body. They were classmates in the same school, and roommates in the student dormitories.
“Sorry, did I wake you up?”
From the hands of the clock, she saw that it was four o’clock in the morning. Too early.
“You were sweating a lot. Plus, it looked like you were having a nightmare.”
Her friend pointed that out, but she was aware of all that even without being told. Sweat soaked her pajamas until they were nearly dripping wet, and her body felt so cold that she shivered. It was a bad kind of sweat.
“That dream again?”
“……Yeah.”
It was a nightmare that had haunted her for a week already.
—No. It wasn’t a dream, but surely a conflict within her.
“Will you be okay being alone starting the day after tomorrow?”
Her roommate was going away for a club training camp. During that time, would she still have bad dreams? That was the problem.
Since she had had the same dream for a week already, she wasn’t confident that it would stop the day after tomorrow. Surely it would keep repeating until her memory of that day faded and disappeared.
“I’ll be fine. I’m not a child anymore.”
She tried vainly to smile, but even she herself knew what a bad imitation it was.
“But hey, remember to go talk to someone during painful times. I don’t mind.”
“No, I’ll be fine.”
She pretended to be strong. She didn’t want her friend to become too worried.
“Well, okay then.”
Running her hand through her glossy, silky black hair, her friend turned around.
“I’m going to sleep for a bit longer. ‘Night.”
“……Okay.”
Both her body and pajamas were cold and soaked with sweat. She took a towel out of the closet and wiped away the sweat.
As she was doing that, she felt someone gazing at her from behind and turned around.
“What’s wrong?”
The girl who said was going to sleep was sitting on the bed and staring fixedly at her.
“Hey, here’s a bit of advice from a friend.”
“What is it?”
“—You’re not suitable for making those fake smiles.”
“……!”
Reflexively, her mouth opened in reply—
“Well, ‘night.”
But before she could speak, her roommate slipped back into bed.
After a few seconds, she could hear her friend’s peaceful sleeping breaths.
“Fake smiles, huh?”
Sighing, she thought about her friend’s words.
……Even I know something like that.
