Talk:Rakudai Kishi no Eiyuutan:Volume2 Prologue

I can’t be of any help to you but with the sword. -Instead of but with, maybe except for the sword.--Dual Blades (talk) 02:14, 18 August 2014 (CDT)

Somehow chapter 1 content was added to this prologue page. Can someone do a fix? p.s- I have no idea how to do so Destinyz (talk) 01:48, 18 August 2014 (SGT)

Scratch that, I figured it out somehow. My browser was playing tricks on me making me unable to see the changes. Destinyz (talk) 02:11, 18 August 2014 (SGT)

Up to you on the following revisions, I understand that it might change the phrasing of the sentence a little, but overall it would be more coherent for native English speakers imo:

"That's why, before I lose the ability to hold a sword completely, I want to entrust this technique to you." I suggest "That's why I want to entrust this technique to you, before I lose the ability to hold a sword completely."

"Being gazed at with such an expression, there was no way she could refuse. Because she was loved so much, there was no way she could refuse." I suggest "There was no way she could refuse after being gazed at with such an expression, because she was loved so much."

The following are purely grammatical changes, which again imo should help native English speakers, you are welcome to ignore it.

"This technique, it is the result of my entire life as a swordsman. It's something I've never shown anyone. This technique will definitely be of use to you. So accept it, Ayase." I suggest "This technique is the result of my entire life as a swordsman. It's something I've never shown anyone. It will definitely be of use to you. Accept it, Ayase.". In this I changed the second "this technique" to "it", because repeated the same phrase twice does sound awkward in English, and removed the "it" in the second sentence because it would be a repeat of the phrase and again would sound awkward. Possibly it was specfied in the original? Also, I removed the "So". I would make a guess that there would be something along the lines of "dakara" in the original, but even then, it would sound awkward. This would more possibly be a major edit, and again its pretty questionable, but it sounds better in English without the "so".

"Killing off her unease, she materialized her soul as an ‘Armament', a katana with a scarlet blade even redder then the sunset and more vivid than blood." I suggest "Killing off her unease, she materialized her soul as an ‘Armament', a katana with a scarlet blade redder than sunset and more vivid than blood." The phrase "even redder" is a redundancy and therefore the 'even' is not required.

"Not a single thing" Naturally I would suggest "Nothing". Again this is very simple editing, but it sounds awkward to use the former. --Bowguyz (talk) 19:04, 7 November 2014 (CST)

Go ahead and make readability changes. If there's any issues, another editor or I will change it around as needed. Ultimately, I will give the text a heavy proofreading before it's finalized anyway. -- KLSymph (talk) 20:16, 7 November 2014 (CST)