On a Godless Planet:Volume2B Chapter 34
Chapter 34: Junction 03[edit]
–Idiots of a feather flock together.
●
When they returned to the divine world, it was late evening.
They found themselves in a summer twilight. It was already 7 o’clock and a chilly wind blew across the river.
With the cicadas crying…
“It really feels like a summer camp now, huh?”
“For dinner, let’s cook something else entirely on the same barbecue equipment from before.”
“Um, everyone? Uh, well.”
“What is it, Senpai?”
“We, uh, appear to have some visitors.”
Everyone looked over to see two people in the public space there.
They were seated at the table eating snacks.
“Oh, were you terraforming? Took you long enough.”
●
When she realized the Olympus inspectors were here, Shifu first looked to Balancer.
“Care to explain?”
<Well, they just kind of…showed up.>
“What for?”
“Cause they’re lonely! Y’know, like how people without any friends will show up invited and play it off as a coincidence or claim they had some kind of obligation!”
“Talking from experience?”
“D-don’t be ridiculous! I’ve never done that! It’s true I don’t have any friends, but I don’t even have anyone to visit and play it off as a coincidence!”
<You must have been lonely.>
“You invented that past for me!”
“Come to think of it, you are the only human, so you can’t help but have no human friends. And you couldn’t start out with any god friends because it would cause political problems for us gods.”
“There! See!? I have a perfectly good reason to be friendless!”
“None of this changes the fact that you don’t have any.”
“Hey, be nice.”
Sumeragi-chan had collapsed onto the riverside, but it was onto his back and that gave him a low-angle view of Senpai-chan, so he gradually recovered.
“Senpai! Thanks so much! I may have no friends, but being able to look up at you fills my heart more than I know what to do with!”
“Um, you’re welcome?”
Resilient, isn’t he? thought Shifu, but then she noticed Tooru pointing wordlessly somewhere else.
She looked over to see the Olympus inspectors glaring at them all.
Shifu spoke over the chirping cicadas.
“So what brings you here?”
“Don’t act like you don’t know!”
Yeah, that’s fair, thought Shifu. But…
“Time out! Why are you eating my Wasabeef!?”
●
Ki looked up into the sky for a bit.
…Um.
Where is Venus up there? she wondered, but they were on a mountain riverside. Which meant they were in a valley. Venus wasn’t visible from here.
That meant swimsuit Esthar was in a weakened state.
But their idiot goddess didn’t matter.
The stars were twinkling in the sky while the flowing river and the loudly chirping cicadas seemed to hold up that dark sky from below.
While viewing the thick expanse of the sky, she sensed just how vast it was and realized just how cultured she had become. And when she looked back down…
“Listen! The snacks in that box are the food I need to survive in this divine world! They’re divine food! You can’t just steal it!”
Was there a scale smaller than this?
But Eshtar stepped forward.
“Listen, you two! You’ve defiled the food I need to survive as a major Mesopotamian god! I’d like to cast divine punishment upon you, but I think I’ll punish you in a way that makes that look like child’s play!”
“Oh? Now the scale’s growing.”
“Hey! What kind of punishment are you thinking!? Going to start a war or something?”
“Don’t be silly! The greatest punishment in this world of desire is monetary! You opened two packages, so you owe me 200 yen! Pay up!”
Ki slapped Eshtar on the back of the head.
“Quit it.”
“Ow! What was that for!? That slap was so loud all the cicadas went quiet!”
“Wouldn’t that have more to do with the contents of your head than En-chan’s slap?”
<By the way, the cost comes out to 206 yen when you include sales tax.>
Ki slapped her again. The cicadas went quiet again.
“That is loud…”
“Yeah…I’m a little disturbed by it myself…”
“Oh! But I’m a cute goddess, so my skull must be cute too! Which means this is a happy sound.”
Ki slapped her a third time. A few river spirits poked their heads out of the river and Eshtar smiled.
“See!? They’re here to gaze upon my cuteness!”
<Shut up, ver.>
“See, what did I tell you?”
“Y-you puny spirits betrayed me!? Do I need to destroy you with my special ‘that seems like an overreaction’ move!? And, Enkidu, will you quit slapping my head!? What am I, a wooden fish!?”
“Why is a Mesopotamian talking about a Buddhist wooden fish?”
“Hey, Mucho, to make a sound that good, wouldn’t your head have to be hollow?”
<I could have sworn I put some brains in there during her real manifestation.>
“Did you check to make sure?”
<…>
“Don’t just fall silent!!”
Only then did Ki remember the Olympus inspectors were here.
“Oh, sorry about that.”
“Don’t ignore us!!”
“Ah ha ha! That’s what you get, idiot!”
“This was your fault, you know?”
Ki slapped her again. The idiot goddess pointed at the inspectors with both hands.
“They’re the ones who ate my food! So it’s their fault! It takes calories to stay this cute, you know!?”
●
I just about nodding in agreement with Eshita-san’s claim, but something stopped me.
“Hm!? Wait, Eshita-san! Needing calories to stay cute almost makes sense, but that claim will turn all the goddesses against you!”
“Yeah, that’s true. We’re generally okay with eating meat and drinking alcohol, but beauty is a different matter.”
“Eh!? What, are you saying you work to stay beautiful!? I’m a goddess of beauty, so eating food automatically makes me cute.”
That triggered about 5 megatons of irritation, but I suppressed it because causing trouble here would be a bad idea. In fact…
“If you don’t mind…”
“Yes? Do you need something?”
The pompous-sounding inspector sucked in a breath before responding.
“Why are you all wearing swimsuits!? Have you no shame!?”
A good question, but not one I had an answer for.
●
Athena was usually fed up with her aunt’s nonsense, but just this once, she agreed.
Not to mention that a certain part of them all could only be described as…
…Giant.
<Fun fact: The word “giant” has its origins in Greek mythology.>
Don’t read my mind. And mine aren’t exactly small, just so we’re clear.
“…”
One of them wasn’t a giant in that regard.
Oops, Athena thought. I jumped to conclusions after seeing those big ones right in front of me, but they aren’t all that way. Yes. And there’s even a non-giant among the Shinto gods too. The world is surprisingly balanced. Except…
“Way more of you are giants! You’re just a bunch of lewd gods!”
They all exchanged a glance.
Eventually, Shinto’s non-giant tilted her head and spoke to the rest of them.
“I’d like to argue against Shinto being ‘a bunch of lewd gods’, but unfortunately I can’t.”
●
I questioned Temanko’s claim.
“Is that true?”
“I’m not sure. Is it?”
<As a reminder, you are the god said to have reduced humanity’s lifespan because you failed to land a husband.>
“Let’s not forget that Olympus mythology has more than its fair share of lewd gods too.”
“True. But they tend to be more normal about it. For example, when they go furry mode, they either do it with both sides as furries or the furry attacks a woman and turns back into a god before the docking begins.”
“Oh, c’mon! Have they never heard of sticking to the bit!?”
“Are you saying that seems tame by Shinto standards?”
“Hm, isn’t it mostly furry on furry action for us?”
“I would really prefer to stay out of this conversation, but for the most part, yes.”
“And how does Shinto do it?”
“In Shinto, docking with a furry is considered impure.”
“Wait, what?”
“Was that unclear?”
“Weren’t we talking about furry on furry?”
“We were. But recall Shinto’s purification rules. Impurities return to a pure state when purified.”
“So what are you saying?”
“In Japan, I couldn’t even count how too many children were born between a god and an animal. It is usually with a fox, a snake, a dog, or a deer, but there are some more adventurous gods who went for a turtle or a fish.”
“A fish?”
“What the hades?”
“Oh? You scared now, Olympus!?”
<The furry content is one of the more fascinating things about Shinto. In Olympus and Norse, animals are animals and are generally depicted as prey or gods in disguise. But…>
But…
<In Shinto, animals are often depicted as “intelligent beasts” that understand humans and gods when they speak. Or sometimes they don’t understand, but when a mouse or a rabbit appears, the description of and interaction with them sometimes goes on for so long you start to realize the writer was legitimately into that kind of thing.>
“Shinto has it bad, huh?”
At that point, I realized something. So I looked to the Olympus pair and…
“What are you even doing here?”
“Heyyyyyyyy! You’re the ones who went off on this weird tangent!”
She was almost too easy to rile up.
●
At any rate, everyone decided to change clothes.
Shifu considered putting on her casual clothes, but…
“This could go south fast and casual clothes don’t let me use all my equipment, so uniform it is.”
She ended up changing into her uniform.
And once she stepped outside…
“Here’s 210 yen. Which means you owe me 4 yen in change.”
“Sure! But I don’t have any 1-yen coins on me, so I’ll just keep the change!”
“Heyyyyyyyyyyyyy! You have guts pulling that one on me!”
“Aunt! Aunt! They’ve emerged!”
This didn’t bode well for the coming discussion.
●
Now, then, thought Tenma, adjusting her posture.
…I am the negotiator.
Omokane had probably predicted it would turn out this way. And she had certainly enjoyed imagining how much Tenma would hate it.
She was that kind of boss.
Tenma stood in the center of a public space. But this space was only 10m across. It was just tables and chairs set up on the riverside for people to eat at. It wasn’t perfectly flat and the flowing river was fairly loud from here.
…Here I am negotiating in the summer night.
In the past, the nights had been so dark at this time. Securing lights had been a challenge and reading by the light of a single candle had not been easy. So she had sat by a campfire in the garden and complained about the heat in the summer or about the cold in the winter.
There had always been stars in the sky then.
“–––––”
There were now too. Even in Tachikawa, the stars were visible at night if you were close to the Showa Memorial Park. But here you didn’t need to go anywhere like that to see the same stars as in the past.
The darkness she had seen so long ago was spread coldly out around her.
…Yes.
Back then, she had read for the joy of learning new things rather than to accomplish anything in particular. And now she was wielding her abilities as a knowledge god in such a similar night.
The fire in the stove acted as the campfire.
Its scarlet light felt so familiar as she spoke to the two Olympus inspectors already seated in folding chairs.
“So what business do you have with us, DC inspectors?”
●
I’m an inspector too, thought Eshita.
She had reclaimed her box of snacks.
…That was a close one.
Fortunately, the invading hands had only reached the upper layer. She had packed that with Wasabeef.
The layer below that was Ethnican.
Below that was lightly salted potato chips.
The Karamucho was at the bottom layer.
Then again, the Karamucho layer was the thickest one of all, but that just showed how important it was.
Those two must not have noticed the Karamucho was even there.
<Eshtar? Why did you put the Karamucho at the bottom? I would have guessed you would put your favorite at the very top.>
“Well,” replied Eshita. She had a reason for it. “I was giving the Karamucho a stronger flavor by mixing it with the other snacks and letting it soak in their flavors.”
●
Balancer realized their own mistake.
…I was so certain of my own cleverness I released a brainless fool on the world.
Then again, Eshtar was famous for being nonsensical, so this was probably fine. Now if only she could stay quiet during the negotiations.
“Are you stupid, Mucho?”
“Wh-where did that come from!?”
“Here’s the thing,” said the idiot. “You know how Karamucho has that complex shape? If you want the flavors to soak in, you have to submerge it in salt water strong enough for an egg to float!”
“Really!?”
“Yup! Kuwajiri said so!”
They looked to Kuwajiri, who refused to look at them.
“I did say that.”
But…
“The knowledge is accurate. This application of it, on the other hand…”
“Kuwajiri, don’t take them so seriously. They’re a lost cause.”
“Don’t give up so fast, Tooru.”
“Are you going to hear us out or not!?”
“I am so sorry.”
Balancer had only watched this play out, but they felt truly sorry since they were supposed to be neutral.
●
“You know.”
Demeter looked to the Shinto negotiator.
Such a small god. And I don’t mean her chest. Well, that too, I suppose. But I meant her height. Not that it matters.
“We do not have anything unpleasant to tell you.”
She threw that out there as a test.
“So feel free to continue your camping trip…or whatever this is.”
“We were planning to do that either way, inspector.”
“I imagine so,” she said. “But if you try to interfere, the Dodekatheoi and the rest of the Olympus gods will come take over this island.”
Athena confirmed that with a deep nod.
The Shinto negotiator subtly controlled her breathing.
And silence fell over them all.
The flowing of the river sounded much louder now.
So Demeter continued.
“So how about we have a nice, calm chat? I am a peaceful goddess.”
Athena, why are you glaring at me like that?
●
So that’s they’re play, thought Tenma.
Simply put…
“Are you here as inspectors to allow the inspectors to act freely?”
“Could you state that more clearly?”
“This warning is all about banning us from interfering so you can act freely, isn’t it?”
“It is. And we are here for your sakes. We are inspectors, so we could have just shown up and done our thing. And when you came running to tell us to stop, we could have slapped you aside as an insignificant nuisance.”
“I appreciate your kindness.”
“Now,” replied Tenma.
“What happens if we say ‘have fun doing whatever you’re here for’ now?”
●
Well…
“I would praise your wisdom.”
●
“Oh,” said a quiet voice.
It came from Kuwajiri-chan. When Shifu noticed, she opened a Revelation Board. She didn’t have anything to do with it, but since she, as Kuwajiri-chan’s superior, had opened one, Kuwajiri-chan didn’t have to hesitate to open one of her own and could use it to communicate with the others.
“I notice she’s avoiding mentioning why they’re here.”
“Don’t we already know why they’re here?”
“Not here in this divine world. I mean why they traveled all the way to Okutama.”
“Um…isn’t that so they can capture the water monster?”
“Oh,” said Shifu after hearing Senpai-chan’s idea.
She knew what this had to mean.
“That don’t know we know that, Senpai-chan.”
“Oh.”
“Huh? What’s that supposed to mean? Explain it using boobs!”
“It’s like if Senpai-chan hasn’t told you her chest measurements but you’ve already learned them from Kuwajiri-chan.”
“Ohh! Sorry, but that doesn’t work! Senpai’s chest measurements are a divine secret! Those are the ultimate numbers – superior to all others! So a dung beetle like me could never discover them no matter how hard I searched!”
“Is this based on something?”
“Part of it is loosely based on a Hindu concept.”
We’re getting sidetracked, realized Shifu, so she turned to Kuwajiri-chan.
“What do you think?”
“Well, if I did learn Senpai-san’s measurements, I would likely erase them from my memory as irrelevant, so the self-proclaimed dung beetle may actually be correct on this one.”
“Not about that.”
“Hey, Kuwajiri! You calling me a ‘self-proclaimed dung beetle’ implies you think I’m actually something else, doesn’t it!? What animal have I leveled up to now!? Out with it!”
“Sorry, but I don’t have a word for anything lower than a bug.”
“A germ, maybe?”
Are the knowledge gods competing now? wondered Shifu, but Kuwajiri-chan got back on topic.
“To answer Shifu-senpai’s question, they have already given their reason for meeting with us: they want us to promise we will not interfere. But they have not given a reason for being in Okutama specifically. Most likely, they are here for the water monster – that is, Salacia. And they do not think we know about her yet.”
So…
“I think we should decide what we will do and tell them, but these Olympus inspectors have already threatened an all-out conflict if we do not comply. However…”
“But we want to get as much information out of them as we can before reaching that all-out conflict. And that’s the negotiator’s job.”
●
Tenma took in a quick breath.
I see. So they already have their hands on their swords.
…As do all the gods waiting “behind” them.
This was a threat.
That much was clear. Tenma appreciated that clarity.
So for now, she would present the conditions of this discussion. Her opponent had already stated they would send in the top 12 Olympus gods and more if necessary.
Tenma had to respond to that threat. So…
“You say the Olympus gods will attack if anything happens?”
“Yes. Some are already here as craftsmen, right? They and the rest of our fighters will show up on a single bullet train.”
“Is that so?”
“It is. The birthplace of our mythology was already building stone-walled cities in the stone age and spent many long years fighting fierce wars between its city-states. Each one of those wars added another local war god to our ranks.”
So…
“Don’t mess with us.”
“I see. So you will be coming in great numbers?”
“And great quality too, to be clear. Each of our war gods is well trained and they form an entire army. We are well known for our large younger generation who arrived after defeating the giants.”
Listen.
“We do not have any prominent fighters. Our mythology has a lot more occupational gods, cultural gods, and schemers. But make no mistake – that does not mean we cannot fight. After the Gigantomachy – our war against the giants – every last one of us is a capable fighter, even if war is not our specialty. So you should think of us all as war gods.”
●
Shifu recalled their earlier discussion during the dinner meeting.
…Kuwajiri-chan and Tooru mentioned this, didn’t they?
The Olympus gods didn’t have many dedicated fighters, but they did have a lot who used trickery or special skills.
They did not approach the problem using a political or technical show of force.
“So is this supposed to be like a threatening pre-battle negotiation from a legit fighter?”
“Yeah. Odin did that a fair bit, but this Demeter is leaning even harder into it.”
“Hm, maybe I wasn’t looking at this quite right. But still…what’s all this about a younger generation that fought the giants? Didn’t En-chan and the Mesopotamians have a lot of wars between city-states too?”
“In our mythology, it was the older generation that fought the gods that can be seen as giants.”
“I’m counted as one of the winners there, but I’m also counted as a daughter of the winners. And Bilgamesh and Enkidu are definitely from the generation after that.”
“In our Norse mythology, it was Odin and the others who defeated the original giants and they were the older generation. Odin, for example, is Raidou-senpai’s father. So us younger gods did not experience that fight with the original giants.”
“Of course, Odin being my dad was something added to the mythology later on, but it is true we weren’t part of the giants war that established the initial state of our world.”
<This is probably an issue of when the syncretism occurred.>
“How is it in Shinto? Is there something like a war with giants that established the state of the world and the younger generations weren’t involved?”
“…”
“What did Shinto do this time?”
“Like I said before, the creation of the world in Shinto had something like reeds grow from nothingness, some really important gods started blossoming there, and that established the foundation of the world. So there wasn’t any fighting or anything.”
“Why did they blossom? And where did the reeds come from?”
“Were the Japanese high on drugs when they came up with that?”
“I hate to interrupt in the middle of my negotiation, but that does sound like a hallucination during a drug trip, doesn’t it?”
“With background music by Hirasawa Susumu. Maybe Frozen Beach.”
“I was thinking the same thing. The Ghost in Science is so good.”
<Sometimes I feel like your Japanese needs a Japanese translation.>
●
Tenma realized that Demeter’s way of thinking really did make the Olympus fighting force sound powerful.
…This could be trouble.
Their gods tended to act like idiots and a lot of them were the indoorsy type, but they were superb during wartime.
It was true a lot of their gods had skills as war gods. A lot of them were also occupational gods, but those occupations often overlapped with war god skills.
That was probably common with gods in war-torn areas.
“You will regret it if you underestimate us. Our oral tradition goes back to around 1600 BCE, before Greece had even developed written language. Do you know what that means?”
“My studying has clearly been lacking, so please enlighten me.”
“Well,” said Demeter, ignoring Tenma’s sarcasm.
It probably didn’t matter to her if Tenma knew the answer or not.
That meant the “facts” for her were unchanging.
“Greece’s Balkan Peninsula has long been fought over as the entrance to Europe, including in Alexander the Great’s expedition and Rome’s conquest of Europe. The peninsula leads to Scandinavia and Asia along the Black Sea and to the Middle East along a riverlike strait, so along with the warring city-states, many foreign peoples arrived there over the years.”
So…
“Even after written language was developed, the tales of bloody wars and great heroes continued to be told. And the resultant culture and civilization became the greatest Europe has to offer. That growing collection of tales is what we now know as Olympus mythology. …We are nothing like the mythologies that settle everything with a big battle and say ‘the end’. Remember that.”
“I will do that.”
“I like you. You do as you are told.”
Demeter smiled a little.
“Now, is that good enough?”
She was signaling the end of the negotiation.
●
<As a side note, the “Balkan” of the Balkan Peninsula is Ottoman for “wooded mountain range”, a very peaceful word at odds with the warring peninsula. That name came into use during the 18th century and it was known as Haemus before that and there is a story about that. In Olympus mythology, Haemus is the name of a king who Zeus turned into a mountain, but that story comes from the fact that the mountains were called that already.>
“Whenever someone says ‘Balkan’, I hear ‘Vulcan’ instead. Like the Vulcan cannon.”
“The Vulcan cannon is named after the Greek god of fire, so it isn’t entirely unrelated.”
“It all goes back to Greek mythology, huh?”
“But what do we do? They’re trying to get their way with a show of force.”
●
“You have a point.”
Tenma accepted her opponent’s assertion.
The situation did not look good. She knew Olympus mythology had come about in a historically war-prone area. So…
“I will accept that, inspector. But may I ask one question?”
“Do you really think you’re in any position to ask questions?”
“I do. We are in charge of the terraforming here, so that is our right.”
“I am not obligated to answer you, though.”
“True. But I still want to ask.”
She focused her thoughts.
What question would have an effect on this opponent?
“Speaking of Olympus mythology, how many of your major gods have a real manifestation?”
●
She’s made her move, was Bilgamesh’s thought.
That was a decent provocation. Because…
“Our Mesopotamian mythology only has a few major real manifestations beyond us. Because manifesting too many gods powerful enough to be inspectors would influence the balance of political power in the divine world.”
That pointed to a certain fact.
“Minor gods are not affected by this, but their major gods will have the same conditions as ours. Olympus mythology has to worry about Norse mythology as another 7th generation, but since Norse has no inspectors, Olympus should have even fewer real manifestations than them.”
“Which means she’s exaggerating what fighting force they have available.”
●
A moment later, a sudden wind blew in. It carried a great mass of metal, oil, and heat.
“Go wild, Metera Thesmophoros.”
A giant of green and white – a female god of war – was spatially ejected behind Demeter.
●
Demeter commanded the god of war behind her to enter autonomous mode and purify the insolent ones before her.
“Did you really think we couldn’t fight? Every Olympus god is a powerful war god. Even as individuals, we can destroy you with the power we used to defeat the giants.”
“Aunt…”
“What?”
“Our luggage…”
Demeter looked back and, instead of her bag, she saw the god of war’s right foot.
After confirming that…
“…”
“Ahhhh!!”
●
Ki watched as the god of war slowly returned to its phase space. Demeter fell to her knees where its foot had been.
“My makeuuuuup!!”
“Aunt! Aunt! You need to stay calm!”
“This is bad,” muttered Ki.
“Eh? Because they seem really stupid?”
“That’s part of it…but they aren’t paying any attention to us.”
“Which means they do not consider us a threat. They couldn’t pull off such an idiotic move otherwise.”
That wasn’t all.
“As much as they insist they will do their own thing, they’re threatening to stop us if we interfere. Or crush us if necessary. …And from the looks of it, that isn’t an idle threat.”
●
“Fine, whatever! I once used my charm to bewitch all the Olympus gods! My natural beauty and a little hard work will suffice! …Got that!?”
“My condolences that the humans decided you would be an older goddess.”
“Are you picking a fight!?”
“I wouldn’t dream of it,” insisted Tenma. “I understand very well that your mythology is powerful. Even just one of you is powerful. Do I have that right?”
“You do. So don’t underestimate us.”
“I understand completely. If your individuals are so powerful, then you are a force to be reckoned with even in low numbers. Do I have that right?”
“Hm? Yes, we are a force to be reckoned with even in low numbers. Why is that important?”
“Well.” Tenma calmly continued. “Our office has a certain monotheistic god who is most absurd as an individual force.”
●
…She’s going with that?
It was true. That monotheistic god was involved with the Shinto terraforming.
Athena hadn’t forgotten that, but…
…Will he really join the fight?
That would push things up to another scale entirely.
It was unthinkable.
Her aunt must have already considered this possibility and dismissed it. So when Athena’s aunt tossed her a Revelation Board, she assumed it was to put her mind at ease.
“What do we do now?”
…Auuuuunt!!
Why couldn’t she think before she did things? Apparently Athena’s concerns were legitimate after all.
“That monotheistic god’s realm and divine rank are on another level altogether. Is this really worth sending him after us?”
She had more to say. This time, she addressed the monotheistic god himself.
“Sending in a force on your level wouldn’t be fair. Or so it seems to a war god like me. What do you think, as a monotheistic god?”
After a pause, the monotheistic god nodded.
“You haaaave a point.”
●
“Oh, c’mon, Yomoji-chan. Say you’re gonna ‘kiiiick their ass’!”
“But my powwwwer is clearly at different scaaaale.”
How do we get around that? wondered Shifu as Tooru raised his hand.
“Shinsei, did you beat Populous yet?”
“I diiiid. It was so much fuuuun I stayed up all niiiight.”
“Was it?” said Tooru. “The Mediterranean coast has a lot of volcanoes, so hot springs were popular in Rome and Greece and they also had to deal with eruptions.”
So…
“Populous II is being developed right now and it’s based on Greek mythology. You can apparently make things like volcanoes and fiery rain.”
“Niiiice! Destroying Greek mythollllogy sounds like fuuuun!!”
That didn’t take long.
●
Athena listened to the monotheistic god.
“As a rehearrrrsal and to celebrate II’s releeeease, can I drop a meteor on your baaaase?”
“Noooo!!”
“Doooon’t worry. It’ll be a smallll one. Only four meeeeters.”
“That would have the same effect as a tactical nuclear missile, so I would recommend evacuating all the gods from your base.”
“Depending where it hits, it could damage the crust, so it could even trigger a volcanic eruption.”
Athena had no idea how it had come to this.
“What’s wrong, Olympus!? You scared!?”
“Grrrrr…”
Her aunt was gnashing her teeth something fierce. But that aunt eventually calmed down.
“Athena.”
“What is it, aunt?”
“Well,” she began. “If we asked two of the available Dodekatheoi to attack in their gods of war, do you think they could distract the monotheistic god long enough for us to escape?”
How had it come to this!?
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