MaruMA:DramaCD6:Track9
The pains of His Excellency Gwendal[edit]
Gwendal: Mini-drama The pains of His Excellency Gwendal *sighs* What's this? Is this the title!?
Soldier 1: *knocking, from behind a door* Your Excellency! Your Excellency Gwendal! You can't hide here!
Soldier 2: *knocking, from behind a door* Gwendal-sama! Come out! Open the door!
Soldier 3: Does your Excellency hate me?! *cries*
Soldier 1: If this is how it's going to be , then we'll use our maryoku to make you come out at once!
Gwendal: Wait! Don't rush, you fools!
Gwendal: (monologue) My name is Gwendal. Since the maken is only good as an ornamental piece, and his Majesty has returned once again to Earth, I thought I'd go back to my routine at the Voltaire castle, but now... I have to face this unexpected problem.
Josak: All right, all right, excuse me! It's Gurrier Josak, I'm back after a successful mission protecting his Majesty. Uhm... your Excellency? Why are you hiding like this?
Gwendal: Gurrier! *opens door* You can come in.
Josak: Eh? Okay.
Soldier 1: Your Excellency!
Soldier 2: Why only Gurrier?
Soldier 3: *cries*
Josak: So, what's that fuss outside your door? Huh? *sniffs* There's a nice smell in here.
Gwendal: It's the orchid perfume[1].
Josak: What?
Gwendal: My mother.... no, I mean the previous maou, has been staying here since last night, but then... I mistakenly used her orchid perfume shampoo to wash my hair.
Josak: The orchid perfume is 'that thing', right? Cherie-sama's special love potion. If someone smells it, and they like someone even a little bit, they will suddenly become much more passionate. Ahhh!
Gwendal: But fortunately, since you don't have any maryoku...
Josak: Fortunately, right? Hehe.... If I recall correctly, this potion magnifies the feelings of the person before you right? Well, isn't that nice!? All the people working for you adore you! Ahhh! What a shame! If the potion worked on me, I'd be more crazy about you than anyone else!
Gwendal: Cut it out... I don't have the strength to put up with your jokes.
Josak: Sorry~. So? What are you going to do now? You can't just lock yourself in your room.
Gwendal: I guess you're right. I'll just stay here until the effect wears .... urgh!
FX:*door opens wide*
Cherie: Gwendal~!
Gwendal: Mother! *Cherie hugs him*
Josak: Cherie-sama!
Cherie: Oh my~ what a wonderful scent! *giggles* Did you by any chance used the undiluted solution of my orchid perfume?
Gwendal: Undiluted solution !?
Cherie: *squeezes Gwendal tight, his head against her breasts* Mhhhh! My beloved honey bear cub ! *baby talk* You shouldn't furrow your brows, I always tell you that! Ah, but you're so cute! When you're like this, I just wanna eat your head. * kisses Gwendal's head repeatedly* *rubs his head*
Gwendal: Mother~!
Josak: Ah~! It worked like a charm on his Excellency Gwendal's doting mother. Cherie-sama! Your son is getting short of breath between your breasts. And although he's a man, since the person who's doing that is his mother, this is wrong in all sorts of ways.
Cherie: Uh? Is that right?
Gwendal:* gasps for air*
Cherie: Say, Gwen? I think that you're a really good boy, you know? So, I wonder what would happen if you go and see Anissina-san before the effects of the perfume wear off?
Gwendal: I don't want to end the life that I'm leading yet[2].
Cherie: Oh, that's not good. To stop being childhood friends, it's important for the gentleman to take the first step.
Gwendal: No, this is really not the time to stop being childhood friends. *stomach grumble sounds like a dolphin* My stomach... my stomach hurts.
FX:*knock on the door*
Günter: Sorry for making you wait, Gwendal. I hurried from the Blood Pledge Castle this morning. Here are the official documents that came from Cavalcade, regarding the diplomatic relations with Shin Makoku...EEEEEEK! How indecent! Cherie-sama! Regardless of how many love captives you have, for you to capture y-y-y-y-your own son! To physically try to attract him....! GYAAAAAAAA!!! How dirty! His Majesty Shinou is going to punish you!
Josak: Ah, your Excellency Günter.
Cherie: You really are as annoying as a sister -in-law! That's enough!
Gwendal: Calm down, Günter.
Günter: How am I supposed to stay calm before this!? Cherie-sama! Please get off Gwendal's knees!
Cherie: Noo~! *whimpers*
Günter: Gwendal *breathes heavily* You....
Gwendal: Wait, why are you sitting on my lap!?
Günter: How mean, Gwendal. Even though you have me...
Cherie: Oh? Is this the orchid perfume?
Gwendal: Gnh!!! Gü-Gün-
Josak: Tight, tight hug(gyugyugyu no gyu)!
Gwendal: Günter! Your, your face is too close! Enough, let go, let me go!
Günter: Ah, even though I came here to show you everything, even my embarrassing parts...
Gwendal: ... But your entire existence is embarrassing, right?
Günter: Don't be so harsh! Ah.... ahhh! *more moans* *sneezes*[3]
Gwendal: Günter, you bastard!
Günter: Gwendal? Aren't you a little too close to me?
Cherie: Ah, this kid covered my treasured orchid perfume with his liquids.
Günter: I see, that's why my nose felt itchy. Ah, lately flowers have been giving me a runny nose. I suffer from hay fever, you know? And because of the presures from work, lately it's been getting worse.
Cherie: How awful, Günter. Even without that you're always so juicy.
Gwendal: Juicy?
Josak: His majesty said that when you have nasal inflammation you should gargle.
Günter: Ehh!? The words of my beloved Majesty make me feel alive again! *sighs* Oh? Gwendal? You have some sticky stuff hanging from the edge of your face. Wipe it off! *wipes* There, there, there!
Gwendal: ii (stomach)
Josak/Cherie: ii? (It's okay?)
Gwendal: My stomach, my stomach hurts. Agh!
Cherie: Ah, he fainted.
Günter: What?! Get a hold of yourself, Gwendal!
Josak: Excellency Günter, maybe you should get off his lap before trying anything else.
Günter: Gwendal, no! Don't leave me! If you die *slaps* who will Anissina torture? I can't endure this alone! *shakes* Open your eyes! Gwendal!!!
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References[edit]
- ↑ Orchid perfume: lit. Bikoran 美香蘭 ; the 'perfume' mixed in with the 'shampoo' that Yuuri borrowed from Cherie in the first novel, which caused Wolfram to become so passionate. Bikoran is not an actual word, but a proper name formed by combining the kanjis 'beautiful', 'scent', 'orchid'.
- ↑ Oh, well, well, well, Gwen! This line means, exactly that! He's not ready to give up his life as a single man just yet. Oh these men and their commitment issues ~!
- ↑ Oh, Shinou! Goodness gracious! That sneeze was so utterly a euphemism for something else.
