MaruMA:DramaCD57:Track1
His Majesty, the second and third sons' jokes that never fail[edit]
Original Title: 陛下と次男と三男の、すべらない話
Release date: March 24, 2009, with Asuka magazine (2009,5)
Cast:(Yuuri) Sakurai Takahiro; (Conrad) Morikawa Toshiyuki; (Wolfram) Saiga Mitsuki.
Original story by: Takabayashi Tomo
Script: Takahashi Makio
Translator's note: 'Suberanai hanashi' means: 'joke that never fails' or 'funny story'. There's a TV show with that name.
Track list[edit]
Download the track here
01. His Majesty, the second and third sons' jokes that never fail
02. Cast Talk
-- Intro --
Yuuri: Kadokawa Shoten's Monthly Asuka Presents, an original story by Takabayashi Tomo, maruma CD special CD Part 1, "His Majesty, the second and third sons' jokes that never fail".
-- Track --
FX:*crickets, owls hooting*
Yuuri: *sighs* There are less MEMBERS here than I expected.
FX:*knock on the door*
Yuuri: Yes?
Wolfram: We're coming in, Yuuri.
Yuuri: Yeah. *door closes* Welcome! Hehehe...
Conrad: Huh? Are we the first ones to arrive?
Yuuri: Uh... yeah. I guess that's right. Ah! You can have as much of the tea Effe made as you want, but you have to help yourself. And on that plate you have small COOKIES, that are really the best.
Conrad: That's nice! Ah, they have a nice, baked color. Effe has increased her amazing REPERTORY, huh?
Wolfram: We'll have tea later, Conrad. So? What's the important matter today, Yuuri?
Yuuri: Ah, even if you ask me so seriously about it...
Wolfram: You didn't call us here this late at night just to have tea, did you?
Conrad: Well, that's fine by me though~
Yuuri: Ahaha...uhm... Well, that's not exactly correct, but pretty close to it. I was thinking that every once in a while, we could have an informal social gathering...
FX:*something drops to the floor*
Wolfram: You dropped something.
Yuuri: Uah!
Wolfram: What is this square thing?
Conrad: Oh! How rare! It's a six-sided DICE, in other words a die[1].
Yuuri: Yeah... It was just in my hidden pocket. Huh? By the way, are there no dice here?
Wolfram: It's not like we don't have something similar to it. They just have more sides. From 13 to 666 sides. Usually they have 20 sides.
Yuuri: No matter how you look at it six-six-six is way too many!
Wolfram: Those are only ceremonial ones, they have almost no practical use.
Yuuri: Heee....?
Conrad: Six-sided DICE are used a lot in human territories. That's because they're very convenient for games where you use your hands, you see?
Yuuri: As expected, Conrad, you know a lot about games played by grown ups.
Wolfram: That's because he's a gambler.
Conrad: Don't say something to hurt my reputation, Wolfram.
Wolfram: I'm not saying it to hurt your reputation, it's true! Weren't you boasting about that time when you made up excuses, saying that you were going sword training, but you were wandering about here and there, and in the gambling house, you used up your entire wage to gamble?
Conrad: I wasn't boasting about it.
Yuuri: Cool! So just like Touyama no Kinsan?[2]
Wolfram: What is that? A man!?
Yuuri: Well, uhm... yeah, he is a man.
Conrad: *clears throat* Even so, it's getting pretty late. I wonder what happened to the others.
Yuuri: Ah... right. About that, you see? Uhm...
FX:*paper falls to the floor*
Conrad: Yuuri, a MEMO.... *picks it up* Let's see... " Everyone knows a 'joke that never fails'. A story that, no matter who hears it, and no matter how many times it is told it is still funny." And this is?
Yuuri: *whispers*Ah... that's was pretty obvious[3]. In other words, it would be fun if we could take turns telling 'jokes that never fail'... that's... uh...kinda... what I thought.
Wolfram: I see. So this is what you do in an informal social gathering?
Conrad: Isn't it a nice IDEA?
Yuuri: I thought so, but if the other people can't come to this get-together, we won't have a wide variety of stories/jokes to hear.
Conrad: Yeah. Gwendal found some discarded cats while inspecting the town by the castle this morning. He picked up 5 kittens that haven't opened their eyes yet, so right about now he must be feeding them MILK, watching them sleep and falling madly in love with them.
Yuuri: What!? But, his secretary told me just now "His Excellency Gwendal is locked in his office with lots of work piling up so he can't come to the gathering ", and I was feeling guilty that because of me, he was working overtime!
Wolfram: When it comes to small animals, it is very difficult to separate my older brother from them.
Yuuri: Yeah, of course I wouldn't waste my energies trying to do something like that
Conrad: And Günter?
Yuuri: Ah... well today he was in the library arranging a book series and he was working too quickly so he strained his back.
Conrad: Ah...
Wolfram: A problem of the elderly, huh?
Conrad: And who else did you invite?
Yuuri: Uhm... I also invited the best MEMBERS for the 'jokes that never fail' , the ones with lots of joke material Josak and Dacascos but...
Wolfram: In Gurrier's case, didn't he go into town this evening as the Daikenja's escort?
Yuuri: That's right! I even told Murata, who has about 4,000 years of hidden joke material, that he could be useful here, you know?
Conrad: It seems like they have escaped, right?
Yuuri: About that, it seems that tomorrow a BEST SELLER book or something will be released at Shin Makoku's Central Literary Institute, you know? So he said that if he didn't get in line tonight, he wouldn't be able to get a copy.
Conrad: Then, what about Dacascos?
Yuuri: Günter clung onto him saying "If you leave me behind, I will curse you forever", and it seems that now Dacascos is taking care of him.
Wolfram: He's quite an unlucky man.
Conrad: No, well, if they behave like that is because they're actually good friends.
Yuuri: Also, I invited Anissina-san.
Wolfram: WHAT DID YOU SAY!? DON'T DO SOMETHING SO IRRESPONSIBLE !
Conrad: And, what happened to Anissina?
Yuuri: What is it that she said... 'Tonight during a full moon ceremony or something, I can complete the strongest poison using a purple poisonous gecko, a pink poisonous frog and a yellow-green venomous pit viper and something or other, so I can't take my eyes off them for a second something or other'.
Wolfram: *scared* I see...She must absolutely complete mixing the ingredients...
Conrad: So that's the reason why she's absent, thank goodness.
Yuuri: Ah, and I also called Greta and Cherie-sama but...
Wolfram: Mother never stays up late at night, if it's not for a 'night visit'. It's not going to happen.
Yuuri: 'Night visit'[4]... well, indeed she politely declined .
Conrad: And Greta is already fast asleep, since I believe tomorrow Beatrice is coming to visit.
Yuuri: That's right. She's coming together with Mr. Shiny to have dinner with us. I completely forgot about that.
Wolfram: You really have to be a henachoko (rookie) to forget a meeting with an important person from another country.
Conrad: If you believe that, then as his fiancé you have to tightly control his SCHEDULE, right, Wolfram?
Yuuri: No, it's okayz! It's finez! Eh... uhm... and because of that, it's only going to be the three of us tonight.
Conrad: Just us three?
Yuuri: Yep.
Wolfram: Then, how are you planning to have this 'jokes that never fail' night?
Yuuri: That's why... uhm... well, about that... I was thinking that it's okay if we don't do it tonight...
Conrad: That is a little... disappointing....
Yuuri: It can't be helped. If it's only the two of you taking turns, then it will be pretty much impossible...
Wolfram: So you're saying there aren't enough people here?
Conrad: Even if we only have a small number of people, it's not as if we can't do it, right?
Yuuri: No, it has nothing to do with the amount of people here. We just can't do it. It's impossible.
Wolfram: What is it Yuuri? Do you not wish to deepen our friendship?
Yuuri: No, it's not that... Please understand![5]
Conrad: Mmmh... "a story everyone will find funny/interesting" *laughs* I have a really 'big' one.
Yuuri: Eh?
Wolfram: *happy* What is it? What kind of story is it, Conrad?
Conrad: *laugh* Yeah... it's something that happened a while back. In the Blood Pledge Castle gardens, there was this one pure white dog[6]....
Yuuri: AHHH AHHH!!! AH , no Conrad! That story...!
Conrad: Eh? But the fun part was about to come...
Yuuri: It's fine! I said it's fine! AH! Ah... Wolfram~! Don't you have a good story to tell?
Wolfram: If you ask me all of a sudden... *thinks* Ah! That's right, Yuuri. Do you know about the seven mysteries of the Blood Pledge Castle?
Yuuri: Eh? I don't. You have such a thing?
Conrad: Yes, although, if you find out about all seven of them, you'll get punished by Shinou.
Yuuri: Eh? It's a scary story?(kaidan)
Conrad: Right, right... if you go up and down the East Tower's stairs(kaidan) thirteen times and make a mistake...
Yuuri: Sorry... this isn't a pun, right?
Wolfram: However making a mistake like that is really bad, you'd have to be really bad at counting for that.
Conrad: Wolfram, that's not the POINT.
Yuuri: So, when you say the 7 mysteries, you must mean 'that', right? The eyes of Beethoven moving in the piano room, the image of Ninomiya Kinjirou running around in the middle of the night, or the hair of the okiku doll growing!
Wolfram: There's one similar to that about an 'okiku' 'growing'... Right, I heard this story from my uncle when I was a child...
Yuuri: Uhm... Wolfram's uncle would be ...
Conrad: ... Lord von Bielefeld Waltorana.
Wolfram: Under the Blood Pledge Castle, there is a secret room that no one knows about. And over there, it is said that there's an huge okiku doll that no one has ever seen, sleeping quietly. And if that doll would start moving, the mountains would break, and the rivers, overflow. Fire comes from its mouth, that's why its words are like a death ray. Its domains are fire, the ocean and the land...
Yuuri: If no one knows it nor has seen it, then ... isn't it a tad unbelievable?
Conrad: That's typical of legends. I also know one regarding the 7 mysteries, that follows the "there's something under the Blood Pledge Castle" PATTERN. Under this castle, there's a secret room that no one knows about. Over there, every night, they say that MACHO men completely covered in oil come out and perform something like a BROADWAY MUSICAL and a SAMBA CARNIVAL all at the same time.
Yuuri: *coughs*
Wolfram: What an unbearable view...
Yuur:*cough* Wait, that has to be lie. Just imagining it, it's like a HORROR story, you know?
Conrad: No, actually the chance of this story being real is rather high.
Yuuri: *scared* Really!?
Wolfram*panting* I wonder if it's my imagination... but I think I have memories of such a spectacle from when I was a child... faded, confused and distant....
Conrad: You too? To be honest I too, have partial memories of that. People with big muscles spinning about[7].
Yuuri: Uwah... *whispers* it became a full-fledged test of courage story... *to the other two* Well, that's enough! Don't you have a story that's more like , a super funny, explosive laughter kind of story?
Wolfram: Explosive laughter?
Conrad: Ah! In short, this pure white dog that was really big ...
Yuuri: Conrad! We've had enough with that story!
Conrad: Is that so?
Yuuri: Yeah. It doesn't have to be a 'big-white' story, it's fine if it's a 'joke that never fails', okay? *whispers* Though it might be a little difficult for Conrad.
Conrad: Well! In that case, I have a really big 'joke that never fails'!
Yuuri: Eh?
Wolfram: *happy* What kind of story is that?
Conrad: My childhood friend and fellow soldier was one day, walking down a street,
Yuuri: Would that be Josak?
Conrad: Yes. And then .... *laughs* your Majesty? You know bananas, right?
Yuuri: Eh?
Wolfram: What is that? ... That... ba naa naa thing?
Conrad: It's a type of fruit. It has a yellow skin, and the edible part is soft and sweet .
Yuuri: You know... I think I don't want to hear the rest of it....
Conrad: Oh, c'mon, don't say that! Then, the banana peel fell on the street *laughs* and then he... wholeheartedly stepped on it ... but...*laughs* but you know...? despite that, he absolutely didn't fall[8]!
FX:*A cold, cooooooold wind blows*
Yuuri: Uwah....
Conrad: Even though he stepped on the banana peel *laughs* this is really, a story about not falling down! ('joke that doesn't fails')[9]
Yuuri: Excuse me!!! Anyone! Does anyone in the audience know a proper joke ?
Conrad: *laughs*
Wolfram: How is this funny? I have no clue...
Conrad: *trying to regain his breath* In short, on Earth there's a convention that when you step on a banana peel you're supposed to trip and...
Yuuri: STOP IT! I can't take an explanation about falling! Stop it!
Wolfram: You're being loud! Why are you making such a fuss?
Conrad: That's because his Majesty is STOIC when it comes to jokes, and Wolfram you really just can't understand them, right?
Wolfram: What did you say!? You really are a rude man!
Yuuri: I'm not (stoic)!
Conrad: Now, now... calm down! It can't be helped, huh? I will now have to use one of my ultimate hidden jokes!
Yuuri: *cries*... Not again! Isn't there anyone else? I want to hear a funnier joke~!
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References[edit]
- ↑ Conrad says die/dice in Japanese.
- ↑ It's a fictional character based on a real person. A series of movies were developed in the 1950s and 60s and one of them was "Touyama no Kinsan: The Gambling Dice Magistrate" https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/T%C5%8Dyama_no_Kin-san
- ↑ What's obvious is that they're ripping off a TV show! Conrad's even using the tone the announcer uses : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9tSKoCjNifU
- ↑ Yobai (夜這い) sneaking into a girl's bedroom at night to make love.
- ↑ Wolfram, get a hint!
- ↑ Oh, my gosh! CONRAD! *cries* I didn't get the pun till the end, when he tried to tell it again and Yuuri stopped him....again. "Omoshiroi" means interesting/funny. But Conrad was going to tell a story about an "omoi' (heavy) and "shiroi" (white) dog.
- ↑ The Maou's Harem, Story 1 Gaiden 3.
- ↑ I'm cooold , it's summer, but I'm cold!!! Suberanai hanashi-> 'joke that never fails (to make you laugh)' 'Subernai' literally -> 'that doesn't fall'.... like Josak ... who didn't fall. Conrad's story(hanashi) -> literally a story about 'not falling down'
- ↑ I just want to point out that his joke about not falling down did bomb.
