How To Eat Life:Prologue

Prologue: A Past=. Beyond

He grabbed the iron bars using his right hand. Using his momentum, he did a flip using one arm. Using his body weight and momentum, he lands with his left foot on the bar.

Otogiri Tobi stood on the bars in the playground and crossed his arms together.

“Oi, hey, Tobi...”

The backpack that was hanging from his left shoulder giggled.

"Just saying, what you did just now was kinda weird, okay? You look like you're crazy."

Pretending not to hear what the bag just said, Tobi looked around the playground park. It had monkey bars, a slide, two trees, two benches, a water fountain, and a swing set for two.

Two boys are sitting on the swing. Both of them looked like they were younger than Tobi around fifth grade or sixth grade. The both of them had a look on their faces like were saying, “What’s with that middle schooler? He's scary.”

"You see? Ke ke keh." The backpack laughed.

Tobi clicks his tongue. Shut up, Baku. He says in his mind. He doesn't say it out loud. Those elementary kids can't hear Baku's voice. Tobi is the only one who can talk to this backpack.

Tobi jumps down from the bar.

"You've got quite a nimble body even though you've got nothing. Just like a monkey!"

Ignoring Baku's teasing, Tobi decided to try going up the slide. The boys on the swings were no longer paying attention to him as they fiddled with their smartphones.

Crouching on the slide, Tobi reminisced about how he was around their height back then.

The slide is made out of metal. It had visible dents and peeling yellow paint on it.

"This the place?" Baku whispered.

"I wonder," Tobi quietly replied, rolling up the left sleeve of his uniform. The LCD screen of the watch he bought from a pawn shop showed 4:59 PM. Tobi is in the second year of middle school, he is not involved in any clubs or cram schools.

The curfew at the facility was at 5:30.

Hey, aren't you going to be late if you don't leave soon?" Baku sneered.

Shut up, Tobi thought as he jumped down from the slide. Tobi's shadow was unusually long as he held the backpack.

The chime of Yuyake Koyake started ringing, a familiar melody.

Tobi gazed up at the twilight sky.

"...a piggyback-"

"Huh? What'd you say just now?" Baku asked.

Without answering, Tobi repeated mutters.

"Piggyback..."

That's right.

I was on his shoulders, on a piggyback.

His older brother used to carry him on his shoulders and bring him to this park. His brother had sung something quietly.

"Hey, onii-chan, what song is that?" Tobi asked, but his brother evaded the question by laughing.

"Hm~ what song is it, I wonder."

"Tell me now!" Tobi begged while pulling on his brother's ears.

"Come on! Tell me, what song is it?"

"I just made it up."

"You did?"

"Yeah, it's a song I made up just now."

He remembered it vividly.

Tobi had played on that slide countless times. His brother would watch over him while sitting on the bench, bent forward with his legs crossed, squinting. A smile would appear on his brother's face.

They would also play together on the swing set for two.

"...That's right..."

Not only in the park.

On rainy days, his brother had carried him on his shoulders, holding an umbrella. On the way home his brother would hum Yuyake Koyake to him.

“Tobi.”

Baku calls out to him.

“Oi, Tobi.”

Tobi exited the park without uttering a word. Ahead of him stood a two-story house. Was it to the right or the left? Which direction had his brother taken that day? No, he didn't know.

For the time being, Tobi decided to turn right. It led him down a narrow road, barely wide enough for cars to pass through. None of the buildings lining the street appeared new. Some even seemed quite old.

Among them was a barbershop, sporting a red, blue, and white signpost. Its outer wall boasted a dark green color. The establishment went by the name of Hatsushima Hair and Beauty. Tobi felt a vague sense of familiarity with it, yet also a hint of unfamiliarity.

"What do you think?" Baku inquired.

Tobi shook his head as he continued walking, not pausing for a moment.

Tobi was in search of an apartment, although he didn't know the exact address. It had to be somewhere in this vicinity. The building he sought was two stories high, with a whitish exterior, an outdoor staircase, and a hallway. Tobi used to reside on the second floor of that very apartment along with his brother.

Which room number had they occupied on the second floor? If he remembered correctly, it had been a corner room. Tobi could recall most of the interior details. Black-coated railings adorned the window, and his brother used to sit him on those railings. The image of his brother leaning on the railings with a cigarette in hand was etched into Tobi's memory.

Tobi abruptly stopped in the middle of a T junction, noticing a manhole at his feet. Whichever direction he turned, he couldn't spot any view that stood out in his recollection. It had been eight or nine years since then, and things might have changed during that time.

"What do you think, Tobi?" Baku asked.

"As I said..." Tobi attempted to restrain himself with all his might.

"You're so frustrating!"

But it was futile. He couldn't help but raise his voice.

"...There's no need to get so angry. My bad, okay?"

Apologizing wasn't Baku's usual style either. Tobi sighed and turned on his heel. It was precisely at that moment.

His attention was drawn to a weathered, blackened concrete block wall. Beyond the wall, there was a corner. Another blackened, grimy concrete block wall. A corner.

Strangely, it intrigued him. Tobi tried to approach it. Beyond the corner, he found a narrow alley squeezed between one and two-story residential buildings. Potted plants lined the road, and the electric poles were surprisingly thin. The power cables hung overhead, as if to veil the alley. Tobi's heart raced as if it had skipped a beat.

"I passed through here..."

It was that day.

Tobi had dashed through this alley, and he hadn't been alone. His brother had been by his side, guiding him by the hand. They had been in a rush. Were they being pursued? Yes, that's right. Someone had been chasing them. They were running away. But why?

Why had they been pursued? Did they not even have a moment to contemplate such matters? Tobi wondered. He couldn't recall. Had something happened? Had his brother explained it to him? Or perhaps, even his brother hadn't understood? In any case, they had been running for their lives. Of that, Tobi was certain.

There was no trace of life to be found. The surroundings were enveloped in darkness, though not entirely dark. The sun was either setting or just beginning to rise. One of the two.

The alley led to a slightly wider road. Continuing to the right, there were shops with awnings. Two shops on the right, one on the left. Tobi and his brother must have dashed through this road.

It must have been incredibly painful. Tobi wasn't running now, but his chest still throbbed with discomfort.

Tobi must have whined countless times.

"Onii-chan, I don't think I can go on. I can't. It hurts. I can't run anymore. Leave me behind."

His brother must have encouraged him.

"Hang in there, Tobi. You can keep running. You still have the strength to run, Tobi."

That's right.

I have to persevere.

Because he's telling me to run. My brother is.

As he passed through that road, he arrived at a street adorned with cobblestones instead of asphalt. It was an old shopping street. Most of the shops had their shutters down. He didn't recall this shuttered street. Had he taken a wrong turn?

That wasn't the case. It was the alley. They had entered the alley right away and hurried through it.

"It was here, wasn't it, Tobi?" Baku insisted.

Tobi remained silent. He believed it was here. There was no doubt about it. But really?

A working-class neighborhood. Was that the proper term for it? There were no prominent distinguishing features. To put it simply, it was an ordinary urban landscape. Was it truly here?

His brother had finally begun to carry him. Tobi might have been crying at that point. Or perhaps he had fallen and couldn't stand up. Yes, that was it. He had fallen right here. His brother had lifted him up and continued running.

"It's alright, Tobi!"

His brother's voice awakened him.

The sound of cars reached his ears. In the distance, a red light flickered on. "Shit!" his brother muttered, appearing as if he might turn back.

Most likely, it hadn't been just one or two people chasing after him and his brother. There were many.

"Stop," a voice called out.

It was the voice of a man. It didn't happen now. It was in the past. Yet, unconsciously, Tobi froze. It was eerie how vividly he could remember it.

Tobi had clung to his brother as he carried him, probably closing his eyes. Startled by the man's menacing "Stop," he had opened his eyes.

The man stood there, holding something in both hands. He pointed the front end towards them. A loud noise erupted, a sound akin to an explosion or striking a hard object. At the time, Tobi hadn't understood what that sound was. Reflecting on it now, hadn't it been a gunshot?

The man had possessed a gun. He had shot at him and his brother.

His brother had cried out and stumbled. At that time, Tobi couldn't have comprehended that his brother had been shot. But something had happened to his brother. Tobi was certain of that much.

However, despite everything, his brother had kept running while carrying Tobi. He had been limping, clearly injured. It must have been excruciatingly painful.

How long had they been fleeing? It hadn't been a matter of seconds or a few minutes, had it? It had been dozens of minutes, if not longer.

His brother sought refuge in the narrow alley between buildings. Before that, he had set Tobi down. Or perhaps, Tobi recalled, he had asked to be set down. Regardless, Tobi held his brother's hand. The place was damp, foul-smelling, and filthy. Overhead, several air conditioning units jutted out like a makeshift roof, emitting a rumbling noise.

Suddenly, his brother opened a door and pushed Tobi inside.

"Hide here."

"But, onii-chan..."

"Stay here until I say it's safe. Understand, Tobi? Promise me. Do not make a sound under any circumstances."

His brother was in the alley, and Tobi was inside the building. His brother was about to close the door. Tobi felt scared and uneasy. If he followed his brother's instructions, he would be all alone. No way. He didn't want to be alone. He wanted to be with his brother. He didn't want to be separated from him.

However, his brother was injured. He seemed to be in pain. It must have been unbearable. He must have reached his limit and couldn't go on anymore. Tobi was slowing him down. He was a burden.

He didn't want to be apart, and he didn't want to be alone, but he had to obey. That's what he believed.

"Okay."

As Tobi attempted to nod, his brother placed a finger on his lips.

"Shhh."

His brother's face was partially—or rather, almost entirely—obscured from view. Yet, somehow, in that moment, Tobi felt like his brother was smiling.

Tobi nodded once again, this time in silence.

His brother closed the door, plunging him into darkness.

Tobi remembered that darkness vividly.

It wasn't just a lack of light. It felt like he could grasp the darkness in his hands. The darkness carried weight, engulfing his eyes, nose, and ears. If it covered his mouth, he wouldn't be able to breathe. The darkness seemed to penetrate deep within him.

Feeling like he was losing his sanity, Tobi pressed his ear against the door, trying to catch any sounds from outside. The rumbling of the outdoor AC units brought a slight relief. The darkness hadn't completely muted his hearing.

Soon enough, he heard another sound. Footsteps, perhaps? There was a jarring noise.

Then, voices.

Someone was shouting. Was it his brother, or someone else?

Naturally, Tobi desired to step outside. He gripped the doorknob, but time and time again, he stopped himself just before opening the door.

Hide here. His brother's order echoed in his mind.

Promise me. His brother's words resounded, and Tobi had nodded.

He couldn't break a promise to his brother. He couldn't do such a thing.

But in the end, he was still gripped by fear.

Intensely frightened, he could do nothing but suppress his breaths in the suffocating darkness. Unbeknownst to him, Tobi found himself crouching. He waited anxiously for his brother.

His brother would surely return. Everything would be fine, Tobi. He would say those words. Tobi believed in his brother. He had no choice but to believe.

Beyond the shroud of darkness that enveloped him, there was likely a staircase. The stairs descended, down, down, to the depths of the earth.

Occasionally, Tobi felt as if there was something stirring within the darkness. Each time, he felt a scream welling up inside him. With all his strength, he suppressed it and called out to his brother in his heart.

Onii-chan.

Onii-chan.

Onii-chan.

Help me, onii-chan.

Come back, onii-chan.

Please come back quickly, onii-chan.

Please, I beg you, onii-chan.

Onii-chan.

Onii-chan.

Onii-chan.

I'm here waiting. I promised I would. I'll obey your words, so please, onii-chan—

How many hours had he sat there, trembling—occasionally dozing off only to startle awake—how long had he waited for his brother?

Three hours?

Or was it four hours?

Ten hours, perhaps?

Even longer?

Half a day?

One day?

Could it have been two days?

Or even more?

"......"

Suddenly, the sound of the door opening reached his ears, and light flooded in. It was dazzling. His eyes stung for a moment. None of that mattered.

"Onii-chan!"

Tobi climbed up the stairs. The door was open. He stepped outside. A foul odor permeated the air, reminiscent of a sewer. The alleyway was paved with concrete. The dirty, cracked concrete was stained with red.

It was blood.

...that was his first thought.

Whose blood was it? Could it be...

No, it couldn't be. It couldn't be his brother's blood, could it?

It couldn't be. Tobi found himself on the staircase leading to the pitch-black underground. He was alone. Someone had opened the door. Who could it be?

"Onii-chan."

Yes, his brother. His brother must have opened the door. That had to be it. His brother had returned. He had come back for Tobi.

Tobi scanned the area, searching for his brother. He had to be nearby if he was the one who opened the door.

"O—"

There, at the end of the alley, stood a man. But that man was...

Tobi trembled.

No.

That wasn't his brother.

The man faced Tobi. He was tall and wore a hat. Tobi couldn't recall the exact type of hat, but it was a top hat. The man also had a scarf and a black long coat.

The unsettling part was his face.

His eyes.

He only had one.

It wasn't like having just one eye in place of two. It was a single, all-encompassing eye. The man's face consisted entirely of that eye. If Tobi had seen correctly, the single eye—the man's face—had blinked. It indicated the presence of eyelids.

The one-eyed man carried a bag or something similar on his shoulder. He didn't appear to be carrying anything else. At least, he wasn't holding a gun. He didn't seem to be one of the pursuers after Tobi and his brother; he didn't belong to that gang. Nevertheless, he had only one eye.

In other words, he could be an even more dangerous, terrifying, and enigmatic individual. Having only one eye added to the air of mystery surrounding him.

The one-eyed man slowly removed the bag and extended it toward Tobi, as if urging him to take it.

Tobi quickly shook his head. The one-eyed man was undeniably strange, and Tobi couldn't recall ever seeing that bag before. He couldn't simply accept it without caution.

Eventually, the one-eyed man slightly bowed his head, then proceeded to bend down and gently place the bag on the ground.

The bag.

It appeared to be a bag.

With a shoulder strap for carrying, it was a large bag.

For the time being, Tobi fixed his gaze upon the bag.

When he snapped out of his thoughts, the one-eyed man was nowhere to be found. He had vanished, as if he had never been there in the first place.

But there was evidence.

The bag remained behind.

It was something the one-eyed man had left there.

"All because of him..."

Suddenly, Tobi felt the urge to cry.

It was all because of that one-eyed man. Because he had opened the door, Tobi had ventured outside, breaking his promise to wait for his brother's return. It was all because of that one-eyed man.

Tobi had always been prone to tears. He would often cry, sometimes for no apparent reason. Whenever Tobi burst into tears, his brother would embrace him tightly. His brother never told him to stop crying.

"Cry, Tobi. Cry as much as you want."

Recalling his brother's words, Tobi's tears inexplicably ceased.

Since then, Tobi hadn't shed a single tear.

After much hesitation, Tobi picked up the bag left behind by the one-eyed man. As he lifted it, he found it surprisingly light considering its size. Even at the age of five, Tobi managed to sling it over his left shoulder, mimicking the one-eyed man.

Strangely, he no longer felt completely alone.

The trail of red stains extended further down the alley.

"My brother is injured."

Tobi was convinced.

Those stains were his brother's blood.

His brother must have tried to shake off their pursuers. He likely intended to return once he ensured their safety. However, something must have happened, preventing his brother from coming back.

In that case, Tobi would be the one to search for his brother.

"I have to find him—"