User talk:71.202.158.239

Note to anyone checking my edits: I know absolutely no Japanese. All my edits are from the point of view of someone trying to make the script sound like what I believe is normal English- if my proposed changes go against what the actual Japanese says, feel free to erase/delete/revert them.

Also: I don't change lines I think have a good Alt translation already.

Waiting for a response:

4421
4430
4502
4504
4505
4507
4508
4509 (still one tense problem left)
4511

Finished Editing(first pass):

2417
4501
4503
4510

It looks like you've made some good edits. Keep it up, anonymous editor! --Richard 23 21:34, 23 November 2007 (PST)

Right now I'm working on the Fuuko Master SEENs. There's a lot of problems with using more than one tense in a single sentence that I want to fix, but since I don't know any Japanese I have no idea what the correct tense is supposed to be. Therefore, I ask a translator to either fix SEEN1005, where I've marked lines that need fixing with *s, or to post the fixes to the lines here. Once someone's done that, I'll spread the changes to the other Fuuko Master SEENs (there's a lot of repetition between them).

SEEN1005 problems: fixed!

• Thanks for specifying this. The reason why it probably wasn't adjusted is that there's no clear format whether to use present or past tense when the narrator describes what just happened. The ambiguity stems from the fact that a quote just stated was previous, but it is current nonetheless. Like "Hey..." is what I was going to (or about) to say. Or "Hey..." is what I said. That's somewhat past tense but it's current, and since there's also actions that are concurrent (er I threw that word in there randomly) when mentioning the narration, that would be present tense. Right now it's not set in stone but what you say makes sense. I'd implement some now if I weren't doing homeworks. -Amoirsp

Okay, new question. Do we want to make the dialogue that's the same across several SEENs (that is, the parts of Fuuko Master that are literally repeated word-for-word each time) have the same translation each time as well?

• If it's 100% identical, I don't see the issue, go ahead and make such a change (though I wouldn't know which variation would be superior). My problem is that it's hard to find them sometimes, but the change isn't much to argue. Like you said, across several seens, so finding it slightly harder. If it's the same seen that's a bit easier. Since identical line matching and tensing are both not directly based on the context, the edits on it aren't as strict and probably are easier to have variability. As we know, Japanese context in this manner is um, less complicated than English one, and since it's a visual novel, it can be slightly vague as well. -Amoirsp

• Another note on the /b and /u. Although it makes sense that you only are supposed to italicize the word, the reason why the quotation mark was also italicized is because if it is not, then there will be a text overlap between the question mark italicized and the quotation mark not italicized. If the ending punctuation is a period, the size of the period is too small to slant into an overlap, so only question marks and exclamation marks would lead to this. Thus, /u is after the quotation mark in a question or a shout to prevent text override, but it's done before the quotation mark if the ending is a period since there's no overlap thus it doesn't matter. This was the explanation given to me and it makes sense. -Amoirsp

Another question: Is Fuuko's continual use of third person in talking about herself intentional? And should this line from SEEN1005 be modified because of that?

<0130> \{Fuuko} "Then Fuuko realized that there was a cup of coffee in front of me."
// \{風子}「気づいたら、目の前にコーヒーが置いてありましたっ」

Right, that would be like, "Then realized that there was a cup of coffee in front of Fuuko." Though because it's in third person, that random adjustment may be less accurate, but the removal of "me" is very likely to implement (or just remove "of me" lol). -Amoirsp

I'm fixing up any of Fuuko's uses of first person as well as the new ellipsis guideline for now. Automated checking is convenient...

Use of いただきます in SEEN 4XXX: 4221 (line 113) 4222 (line 40) 4223 (line 42) This one is different from the last two.