My youth romantic comedy is wrong as I expected v7.5 S.S. 1
Short Story 1: Hikigaya Hachiman’s taste of home cooking is wrong as expected[edit]
It was the peak of the fall reading season. Typically, this would be the season to be indulging in books, but today just wouldn’t let that come to pass as we stared at the computer that Hiratsuka-sensei forced onto.
“Chiba Prefecture Region Problem Consultation Mail…”
When I apathetically announced the title, Yuigahama clapped her hands repeatedly.
Yukinoshita stopped her hands that flipped the pages of her paperback book and gave me a puzzled look.
“…Hey, where did this get sent from?”
“Well, Hiratsuka-sensei probably had something to do with it…”
Recently, Hiratsuka-sensei suddenly added problem consultation mail to the activities of the Service Club. Apparently, it was mail from various people in school with issues.
Yuigahama looked at the computer and read aloud.
“Errm, today’s first letter is… A letter from a resident of Chiba City, Pen Name: Master Swordsman Shogun-sama.”
This guy’s pen name didn't mean anything, did it…? Just now, not only did a real name come to mind, but so did a face and figure.
<Pen Name: Master Swordsman-san’s Problem>
[I have chuunibyou, but I want to love][1]
<The Service Club’s Answer>
[Even if you’re suffering from chuunibyou, you can still love. Why don’t you muster up your courage and try confessing? The other party should reply with this: “I’m sorry.”]
“……He’s getting turned down already!?”
Yuigahama who was reading the answer noticed a little late. Unrequited love and a broken love were splendid loves too, you know?
But, well, just like this, only bothersome, worthless problems would come in. Also, even though it said Chiba Prefecture Region, only mails from Chiba City came in.
In any case, one case was dealt with, so on to the next mail. I sent Yuigahama a look to go on.
“Ah, okay, I’ll read the next one. Umm… This is from Pen Name: Currently looking for a spouse, I have stable income (teacher)-san.”
Hey, again, was there any point in having a pen name? Not to mention the appeal here was really outrageous. How serious was this person, like really? Then again, I mostly understood what this problem entailed from just the pen name alone.
<Pen Name: Currently looking for a spouse, I have stable income (teacher)-san >
[As embarrassing as it is, I’m not particularly well-versed in housework and that, of course, includes cooking. I can't help but worry when I'm married in the future (lol). In the first place, I’m worried about whether I can get married (lol), but I’m thinking that I do want to try to remember at least one special dish that I can cook. Something popular with men (lol), also something light so it’s popular with men, ah, I wrote that twice, didn’t I (lol)? Anyway, is there anything simple that will leave a good impression with the men?”
“This isn’t something you ask students, is it…?”
Creepy. This person's too serious that it's creepy. Also, the overuse of the self-inflicting (lol)'s were really freaking scary, so it's really creepy. But my fear wasn't at all shared with the other two as they nonchalantly talked.
“Ah, maybe meat and potato stew? Or something made at home?”
“If it's Japanese-styled hamburger, then just a little change to it would leave a different impression, wouldn't it?”
Well, what those two were saying were well-grounded. But it's exactly because it's well-grounded that there's a downfall to it.
“Well, wait. It's a minus if you end up aiming too high since conversely, it'll make you look creepy instead.”
Women who made those tend to think “as long as I make this, then I'll have it in the bag (lol), guys are too easy (lol)” and I wasn't too fond of that. Whoa, stereotyping.
“Then what would be good?”
“I-I might want to know too, a little bit.”
Yukinoshita shot a look at me while Yuigahama looked at me nervously.
“It looks to me you guys don't know the true meaning behind the “taste of home cooking”. Listen here. The thing about moms are that the way they handle their sons and daughters are completely different. And the taste of home cooking to men of the world is basically...”
I stopped abruptly and Yuigahama bent forward. Uh, I didn't say anything amazing...
“Just some adequately baked meat and white rice. This is the taste of home cooking.”
“...I feel silly for listening to you seriously.”
“And here I was thinking what you'd come up with...”
Both of them were completely astounded. If I were to write astounded as “AKIRE”,[2] then that would give off vibes of a masterpiece.
But, well, I had an excuse to go with that.
“Anyway, the point is that a guy's stomach is very simple. Also, once it reaches marriage, then cooking is something you do every day, you know?”
When I spoke, Yukinoshita placed her hand on her chin and took a pondering posture.
“That's true. If it's something everyday, then we'll have to think of a lineup of dishes that the person won't get tired of...”
“No, anything complicated is just a pain. The easier, the better.”
“You're looking at this from a house-husband point of view...!? Not to mention your thinking is too realistic.”
“...Well, I'll just keep it in mind as a reference. How would this be for an answer?”
<The Service Club's Answer>
[Meat and potato stew and Japanese-styled hamburger would be the major ones but a dish that men would be reminded of their mother's home cooking would be ginger-fried pork. But Hiratsuka-sensei, shouldn't you find a partner first?]
...There really was no point to the pen names.
Someone take her already. Please.
Translation Notes[edit]
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