MaruMA:MaHon:SSS1
Josak x Gwendal[edit]
"I told you I wanted to talk outside the castle because I didn't want to be overheard."
Lord von Voltaire placed his long fingers on his forehead and closed his eyes as the wrinkles between his eyebrows deepened. The ladies loved this troubled look on him. Of course, in this place it was the same for even those people who were ladies only by their clothing. Sighs that sound like lovestruck girls come from far away seats.
"… Who said to use your shop?"
"Oh? But I thought that the location and structural architecture were perfect."
Josak sat across from Gwendal with a cup of alcohol in his hand. Contrary to his boss, he was extremely happy.
"And besides, this isn't my shop. There, he's the manager."
"You're the one who employs the manager. Did you think I wouldn't notice what sort of job my subordinate has?"
"Oh, so you found out?"
Side-jobs weren't expressly forbidden so he's not worried that he's been found out. Rather it was his boss, Gwendal, who was clearing his throat uncomfortably. It's to be expected as the shop that Josak was presiding over was a specialized entertainment venue where men in women's clothes served the customers. Here and there in the quite large inside of the shop there were men in drag watching the pair's exchange. He could also hear excited whispers such as 'Lord von Voltaire!' and 'It's His Excellency Gwendal!'
There was the rare, dainty person that women's clothes suited well. However, most of them were tall with thick chests, men who were blessed with muscly physiques. So, everyone who comes to this shop for the first time feels like this: aren't they in the wrong profession? When Gwendal's thoughts reached that far, he turned to Josak as if he had suddenly thought of something and asked him a question in a voice so low he might as well have been whispering in his ear.
"You're not going to tell me that all the people working here are off-duty soldiers, are you?"
"Of course not!"
"Then why do they know who I am?"
"That's because Your Excellency is quite popular." He made such a displeased face that Josak quickly amended his statement. "Professionally, of course. That dancer before thought so too, as well as that young guy who brought the drinks."
"… In other words, only a few of them aren't soldiers."
Getting a glimpse into the unknown, daily life of soldiers, the mazoku who oversaw them dropped his shoulders, crestfallen. Be that as it may, getting depressed all by himself wouldn't do anything. The value of a soldier lies in whether he fulfills his duties or not. What he does in his free time is not a problem. If they can meet their next mission with an earnest attitude by spending time relaxing in this shop, then there was nothing to complain about. In the first place, he had come here to discuss a new pending issue, not to observe the off duty soldiers… Gwendal forced himself to drive away his disappointment with all of his willpower.
"At any rate, even if this is secluded, with this much attention on us this isn't confidential in the least."
"Honestly, Your Excellency, if you wanted to have a drink with just the two of us you should have said so."
"Cut that out."
Gwendal read too much into that and got mad at him. It's times like these that you need to hide behind drinks and fun.
"Well if we're not going to get any work done then we might as well drink and have some fun. Let's forget our troubles! Look, there are enough beautiful spots for you to put both of your hands… Okay I get it, there aren't any beautiful spots. After that we'll go somewhere else and have a serious and private talk. With our knees pressed together."
"When you say have fun…"
An upright nobleman would have no interest in gambling in the castle town. So, Josak decided to teach his embarrassed boss a game that was starting to gain popularity lately.
"I'll teach you that baseball game that His Majesty loves. Your Excellency has never played before, right?"
His Majesty loves it. That was the ultimate hook line and sinker.
This is rock, this is scissors, this is paper. If you lose, you take off one piece of clothing. After being told those scant rules and pressured into playing, Lord von Voltaire didn't realize it until after the fifth match. He had luckily won much more than his opponent and Josak was the only one stripping.
"No, this is wrong. This isn't baseball."
"Huh? It is."
"No, it's absolutely not. I've played strip-if-you-lose rock paper scissors with Anissina before, but she didn't say that it was baseball."
"Eh!? Your Excellency, you played a game like that with little Anissina!?"
"No, that wasn't my point. What I wanted to say was that baseball isn't a game you play with your bare hands, but with a stick and balls…"
"Oh my, a stick and balls? That's not very adult of you, Your Excellency."
You couldn't really call a man who was a hundred and few dozen years old a child or an adult.
"But anyway, this is a different version of baseball. The baseball that His Majesty played developed into a martial art and it's called 'baseball fist.' The motto is: talk to one another with manly fists." [1]
"Then, then I have a question."
"Uhuh?"
It's okay to flippantly answer questions while sitting in a bar. But if someone asked you a question while breathing so heavily, you'd end up feeling bad if you didn't answer them seriously.
"What is 'OUT?' What does it mean!?"
"It means you messed up."
"Then, what about 'SAFE'!?"
"Success!"
"Then what does 'yoyoi no yoi' mean? What about 'yoyoi no yoi'!?"
"Honestly, Your Excellency, yoyoi no yoi[2] is what you say to the winner. If you leave that out it won't be a match between gentleman."
"I, I see."
Gwendal was dangerously close to being fooled, but then it seemed like he realized the strange amount of times he won. He had finally started to wonder why a complete amateur at baseball fist was winning so much.
"Wait. Why are you the only one stripping?"
Gwendal stops Josak as he hooks his fingers into what His Majesty calls 'skintight panties.' Whether you strip or not is decided by the outcome of the match so the fact that the boss only took off his jacket and the subordinate is on his last piece of clothing is obviously the result that Gwendal won and Josak continued to lose. However, since he was not aware of the strategy of waiting to see what your opponent does, he did not understand that his opponent could manipulate the outcome of the game by showing his hand an instant later.
"What, did you want to strip?"
"Like I would want to do that!"
On the other side of the finger Gwendal had whipped around, the employees all held their breath and looked up at them. They all had hopeful looks in their eyes. Only an exhibitionist could withstand a gaze like that.
"Then you admit that I lost."
He's really going to strip naked!? Everyone except one got really excited. The soldiers were used to seeing naked guys, but it was a different story when it was the result of losing at baseball fist. It wouldn't just be being stark naked, it would be accompanied by defeat and humiliation. When this nightlife game spread as the slightly different 'Night Baseball,' everyone's thoughts were 'His Majesty brought in one sinful game.'
On the other hand, the first-time baseball fist player Gwendal was getting flustered in a different way. He was worried about whether it would hurt the pride of a skilled soldier of his to be embarrassed like this over a simple game in a bar. Furthermore, Gurrier Josak was his trump card. He might have issues with his behavior, but since Josak wasn't picky with his missions and he delivered favorable results, he was incredibly valuable. Could Gwendal afford to lose such a valuable, elite soldier over a stupid game like this?
However, the boss's modest concern turned out to be unnecessary.
On the nether regions exposed in a smooth movement… there was a huge leaf pasted in place.
"… Gurrier."
"Yes?" replied the man who had stripped in a very sporting manner as he twirled a pair of red underwear around in the air on his index finger. He's really having fun.
"Is that in fashion nowadays?"
"No, this is the plant underwear I invented that's not really underwear. At the moment I'm commercializing it for the ladies who want to see the surprised faces of gentlemen. After all, there aren't any slightly crude items like this in 'The Queen's Inventions.'"
Branching out into the underwear industry without having tired of the hospitality business, it was quite the diversified management system. However, as a noble and soldier who had not once in his life had worries over money, Gwendal couldn't possibly understand the economic sense of someone who had experience poverty.
"… Gurrier," he muttered in a perplexed tone as he slumped back in his seat, dejected. "What exactly is your main occupation?"
"Honestly, Your Excellency, don't you know?" Josak casually replied as he stood on the table with just his leaf.
"I am Your Excellency's devoted servant."
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