Love Is Dark: Chapter 01 - Someone Like Me Can’t Possibly

Takarai Sousei just wanted to be like a normal high school student that you could find anywhere.

“Hey y’know Sousei…”

Sousei was washing his hands on the sink. His classmate, Hayashi Yukisada, was next to him wiping his hands.

It was something extremely commonplace for normal high schoolers. Bringing your friend with you to the toilet during the break between lessons. Washing your hands together at the sink after you're done with your business. There was nothing out of the ordinary at all.

“You’re kinda weird.”

Yukisada said so while snickering. Sosei directed a questioning look at him.

“…Really?”

Yukisada turned off the tap. He had an incredulous look on his face.

“Huh? You never realized it?”

“No, it’s not that…”

His first response was to be nonchalant.

Well, I am aware of that— but it hurts to hear it from another person, I mean…

At the very least, he tried his best to appear normal when in school. That he did.

“Whan you say I'm weird, what exactly is weird about me?”

He received an immediate reply.

“Your hands.”

“My hands?”

“You take far too long to wash your hands, Sousei.”

He was just scrubbing in between his fingers when Yukisada pointed that out.

“…Too long? Huh? For real…?”

“Yep, like too long, super long, veeeery long.”

He looked like he was suppressing his laughter.

“You don’t always see people who wash their hands that carefully, I’m telling you. It’s like you’re a doctor or something. Uh like you're about to perform surgery on someone.”

“You’re exaggerating…”

It’s not that long… Muttered Sosei under his breath as he finished up and took out his handkerchief to dry his hands.

Now that he mentions it, everyone else does seem to finish washing their hands rather quickly. Like they don’t even bother. The way they do it is way too sloppy to me… But I guess that’s how it’s done normally, huh? I’ll have to take note of that…

Yukisada chuckled even more.

“You also dry your hands way too much.”

“…Really? Huh…”

Sosei kept aside his handkerchief while only having dried his hands to 65% of his satisfaction.

Ugh. My hands aren't completely dry yet. It feels gross…

However, if this was the standard for how a normal high school student wipes their hands, it must be done.

I have to bear with it…

A sigh escaped from his lips.

Yukisada laughed again when he saw that. This classmate of his whom he could probably call a friend liked to laugh, though that’s not to say that he often bursts into laughter every now and then. Nevertheless, there was a wide variety in the way he laughs.

“By the way Sousei...”

“Yeah?”

“Do you have a girlfriend now?”

“Come again?”

Sosei unwittingly asked back.

Come on, you know what I’m saying, was the response.

“A girlfriend. So you have one?”

"Have...one?"

Somehow, he couldn’t comprehend what Yukisada was saying, it was as if he was speaking in another language.

“Ger-friend…?”

Of course, "girlfriend" was an actual, common word. If you break it down, you get “girl” and “friend”. A girl as in a female, and a friend as in someone you are close with. So, a girlfriend is a friend who’s also female.

However, that wasn’t what Yukisada was referring to. He meant the “girlfriend”, as in “boyfriend and girlfriend”. In other words, a female partner with whom one was in a special, specifically, a person you're in a romantic relationship with.

In the last two years, he had been in the same class as Yukisada, such a topic had never almost never come up between them. Nah, it never did, for sure.

Why did he suddenly bring up the question about whether or not Sosei was dating someone?

Let’s go back a bit.

There was a girl known as Shiramori Asumi in Class 2-B that Sosei and Yukisada are classmates with.

She was among the tallest of the girls with a height of nearly 170 cm. She had a slim body and a rather small head. Her body-to-height ratio was such that one might say she had the figure of a model. Gossip had it that either her grandfather or grandmother was a foreigner and that’s why her skin tone and hair color were lighter than the rest.

On that note, Sousei was around 170 cm in height. He had no outstanding features. Not his eyes, nose, or mouth. Nothing particularly big or small. His academics were also so-so. For someone like him whose appearance screamed mediocre, Shiramori Asumi was someone far out of his reach.

Quite far in fact, far enough that he had to wonder if they were even from the same planet. Despite being in such a distant existence, Sousei was actually curious about her.

It wasn’t unwarranted. Not even because she was prettier than the rest, or any sort of reason regarding her physical appearance.

It was because of her gaze.

Shiramori-san, who only joined the same class as him this year, glanced at him from time to time for some reason.

Am I just imagining it? It’s probably all in my head. I must have been too sensitive— Or am I?

That’s what he thought at first. However, the act continued so many times enough that he came to the conclusion that it was on purpose. Shiramori-san very obviously was staring at him secretly, and at an unnaturally high frequency at that.

Could it be…

Following this, Sosei came to consider.

You can’t judge a book by its cover… Although, sometimes it might be right on the nail. Could it be that Shiramori-san is also in that profession…?

If at all possible, then at least when in school, Sosei wanted to be like a normal high school student you could find anywhere with some normal friends too.

Putting aside quantity, so long as he could have a few friends like Hayashi Yukisada. Being able to attend classes every day like this, and participate in the occasional school event. This lifestyle was utterly precious to Sousei.

Saying that he was curious about Shiramori-san might have been the incorrect way of putting it. Sosei had suspicions about her. He was keeping his guard up around her.

Yukisida said that he met coincidentally met with Shiramori-san on his train ride home the other day.

“We were both by ourselves. I was just listening to music with my earpiece. Oh, wait. That’s not the important part.”

Right. That was completely irrelevant.

“Shiramori-san said, ‘Say, Hayashi-kun, you’re close to Takarai-kun, right?’ So I told her, 'Well yeah, we’re friends'.”

‘Well yeah, we’re friends’…

Sosei felt his heart scrunch up a bit at that.

Well yeah… huh. We’re friends… Sounds about right…

He did not meet Yukisada anywhere outside of school. They exchanged their contacts on Line and messaged each other once or twice. That was already the closest Sosei had been with anyone. To go any further, such as hanging out after school like what normal friends do, was too high a hurdle for him.

“And then…”

Yukisada continued as if it was no big deal.

“She asked, ‘Do you know if he has a girlfriend?’ ”

“Huh.”

Sousei blinked twice. Then, his eyes went wide open.

“…HUH?”

“That got me thinking, ‘Say, does that guy have a girlfriend?’ And then I realized that I had no idea if you have one.”

“Aah…”

Sousei almost burst into laughter. Even though it wasn’t particularly funny or anything, he felt the urge to laugh.

“No way. A girlfriend? Me? No no no… there’s no way. Of course there isn’t. How could there be? Someone like me can’t possibly…”

“But why though?”

“Huh? Why? I mean, it’s me you’re talking about. How could I possibly have a girlfriend?”

“How can you possibly say it’s impossible even though you- Agh…”

Yukisada narrowed his eyes and grinned.

“Sousei, you refer to yourself using ‘Boku’, right? That’s also something you seldom hear nowadays.” TL note: 'Boku' is a word used for younger boys to refer to themselves as. It's also seen as something feminine for older men.

“I-Is that so? Well… I guess I’m in the minority then? Right, yeah…”

Sosei aimed to be like a normal high school student you could find anywhere. Thus, he had also tried to refer to himself using “ore” like most other boys in their mid-teens.

…It just doesn’t feel right. It doesn’t roll off the tongue, using “ore”. I just don’t feel like myself. I can’t see myself using it and it’s embarrassing…

“So, it’s fine if I tell her you don’t, right?”

Yukisada re-confirmed what he said and Sousei nodded.

“Yeah. I had never experienced any such thing as that to begin with…”

I want a girlfriend. There was a time when Sosei wished that.

But, it’s impossible. In the first place, no one has ever said they liked me. And there probably never will be… for the rest of my life. Someone like me can’t possibly…

Afterward, Yukisada seemed to have reported to Shiramori that ‘Takarai Sosei does not have a girlfriend’.

Following this, she asked him to pass on a message to Sousei. According to Yukisada, it apparently went like this, ‘Come down to the hallway alone after school today’.

…A one-on-one showdown? Is that it?

The picture of an assassin and a gunman facing each other in a duel crossed his mind.

Hallway? You mean the school’s…?

The location was strange. So it was a duel between an assassin and a gunman. Actually, where the hell did that request even come from?

Is this a trap…?

• * *

The instant the bell signaling the end of school rang, Sousei headed for the hallway.

There was no one there.

That was only natural, given that lessons just ended moments ago. When he had left the classroom promptly, Shiramori-san was still in her seat. He stood in the middle of the passageway as he waited for her.

Soon, students who were members of the athletic clubs started walking past him. Shiramori-san still hadn’t appeared.

Is that it?

He could hear the energetic voices of the sports club members coming from the gymnasium and sports ground. Club activities were in full throttle. The only one left in the passageway was Sosei.

Is it a prank after all…? I still have no idea what the trap is. Shiramori-san’s not here anyway. It has to be…

He hung his head, his face turning a burning red in seconds.

…How embarrassing. This was a complete joke. I have no idea what I'm supposed to be doing right now. Time to head back. Yup, let’s just go…

Sosei was about to break into a full-on sprint. Just then, Shiramori-san appeared at the end of the hallway.

“Ah…”

He unwittingly muttered. Shiramori-san looked straight at him. For a moment, it seemed as if she was about to say something, but she stopped and approached him.

Wow. Her legs are long…

Sousei couldn’t withstand facing her straight and lowered his head. In doing so, he stared at her legs instead.

…Hmm?

He suddenly realized something.

Something's different?

Shiramori’s legs weren’t just long.

They were beautiful.

Too beautiful in fact. The looks of her legs made something click in his mind.

Her legs were well-maintained, but only in the aesthetic sense. Did she undergo some kind of extensive training with them? Were they capable of running at high speeds or making high jumps? Could those legs kick an enemy to death relentlessly? The answer appeared to be “No”.

In short, those pretty legs were merely for show, with zero emphasis placed on functionality.

Shiramori-san came to a stop in front of Sousei.

“I'm sorry.”

Her voice came out softly.

“…There were too many people around. But you sure came here quickly, Takarai-kun.”

“Oh, the crowd…”

Indeed, there was a mad rush of students and teachers up till just a while ago.

Is that why she’s late? Because she was watching from somewhere and waited until the crowd dispersed before showing up…? If that’s the case…

Sousei was skeptical.

...Are we gonna fight after all?

“I heard you don’t have a girlfriend. Is that true, Takarai-kun?”

When she suddenly said what she should have already known, he unknowingly took a step back, bumping into one of the hallway’s pillars.

“Uh- I-…”

Sosei glimpsed at the side profile of her face. Her lips looked soft and plump. It was strangely glossy. Like there was something else applied to it rather than just lip balm that seemed to make it glimmer.

“…d-don’t have a girlfriend.”

“You don’t have to be so nervous.”

Shiramori chuckled lightly and brushed back her brownish hair.

Sousei squeezed his chest. Some sort of fragrance, perhaps perfume, wafted by his nose. Perhaps because of that, the area around his chest tightened.

…My heart rate is…

“Listen.”

She started to speak, lightly tapping the floor with the heel of her left leg. She faced the floor as she spoke.

“You can reject me if you’re unwilling to accept my offer.”

“Re-?”

Sousei felt lightheaded.

“…Reject? W-What…?”

She raised her head slightly and looked at him with upturned eyes.

“Will you…”

The school forbade girls from wearing makeup, but Shiramori-san currently had one on. However, it was so light you that could barely tell. If he recalled correctly, she didn’t have them on when they were still in the classroom. In other words, she had put them on during the end of class. Her face was so red he could tell even with the foundation she applied.

“Please go out with me!”

Sosei stood frozen on the spot for around half-a-dozen seconds.

HUH...WHY AM I BLUSHING?

That question popped up in his mind. It hurt. He didn’t know when, but he had stopped breathing. At this rate, he would die of suffocation. Thus, he inhaled, exhaled, and inhaled again. When he finally started breathing normally, he gave his answer.

“Okay.”

• * *

Sousei left the passageway. He was about to leave for home so he had to return to the classroom to pick up his bag.

…Was that all a dream?

He told Shiramori-san he didn’t have Instagram, so they added each other on Line instead and exchanged numbers. It was a bit of a hazy memory now, but he still remembered so far.

That’s right. I remember. So, that means it actually happened…?

He was about to take out his phone from his pocket, but…

I’ll know for sure if I check. But somehow, I don’t want to…

After some deliberation, he decided not to.

Back in the classroom, he was just about to pick up his bag. It was right then-

Something in the classroom clanged. He had thought the classroom after school would be empty, but it wasn’t.

Someone was there.

At the seat furthest back by the window.

A girl was sitting there.

“!”

Sousei jerked back in surprise. He crashed into the nearest table, causing a racket.

The girl turned to face him, her chin resting on her hands.

The glint in her eyes was sharp. Extremely sharp. Abnormally so. It would be no exaggeration to call it knife-like. And not just any knife, but a double-edged dagger used specifically to harm others.

…It's just Hitsujimoto-san, huh...

He hurriedly rearranged the table, then slung his bag over his shoulder.

Unless he had cleaning duties, Sosei always left the class earlier before anyone else the moment classs ended. As such, he did not know the state of the classroom after school. One thing he knew, however, was that the classroom was silent when he came back. There wasn’t a single sound or voice. Thus, he assumed the classroom was empty.

…I always imagined her to be the kind of person to leave quickly once school ended, just like me…

People always referred to her, Hitsujimoto Kuchina, as “Hitsujimoto-san”.

There was nothing particularly strange about that. It was the nuance behind their classmates adding “-san” to her name that was somewhat special. Beyond the usual courtesy and affection the honorific conveyed, there were other emotions behind it.

From who knows how long, people in the class came to say the following about her:

Those are definitely the eyes of someone who have killed before.

Hitsujimoto had sanpaku eyes. Simply put, her gaze looked antagonistic. In addition, the color of her iris was dark, making her eyes look like a bottomless pit.

For starters, her appearance was strange, to begin with. Despite it being summer, she wore full black stockings. For some reason, she also wore gloves which she never removes. Was there some sort of reason she did not want to reveal her skin? That was unknown. She probably wouldn’t answer him if he asked either.

She did not talk to anyone. The only time she spoke was when giving attendance or when called she was called during lessons.

Everyone thought Hitsujimoto to be an oddball. A few tried to approach her out of curiosity in the past, but they were all shot down. Those who accidentally stood in her path were glared at ferociously by her fearsome gaze. That dagger-like glint in her eyes practically sliced one into pieces. Soon, no one dared approach her. As the saying goes, don’t poke a sleeping bear.

I-It’s intense…

Sousei unconsciously took a step back. He couldn’t tear his eyes off of her. However, if he kept walking backwards, he would end up colliding with someone else’s desk again. So, he turned his back to her.

I wonder if she’s in any clubs. Probably not. Yeah, most likely…

Just before he left the classroom, he turned around to look at her again.

If it isn’t Hitsujimoto-san, it’d probably be normal to at least ask what’s wrong, wouldn’t it? It seems rude to just ignore someone like that. I should probably talk to her at least, I think…

Sousei's main goal was to be like a normal high school student you could find anywhere. As such, he was fixated on what it was like to be a normal high school student. He didn’t know exactly what that meant. But still, he tried his best to live up to the image of a normal high school student.

“Um…”

He built up his courage and spoke. At that, her shoulders shook slightly. He was surprised; he didn’t expect her to react.

“B-Bye.”

He squeezed out the word as if wringing it from his throat and made to leave. Right before he exited the door, a low voice reached his ears.

“Goodbye.”

“…Huh?”

He reflexively turned back as she uttered that quiet phrase.

Hitsujimoto was still leaning on the table with her chin in her hands and facing outside the window.

Sousei stayed like that for five seconds.

However, she did not even move an inch.

…Was that an auditory illusion? No, it didn’t seem like it. I definitely heard that. That must have been Hitsujimoto-san. But…

He gave a slight bow and left the classroom. When he went down the staircase, his phone vibrated.

W-W-What. That m-must be from work, right? Yes, that’s it. It’s work-related…

He took a deep breath before taking out his phone. The display showed a Line notification.

“P-Perhaps it’s Yukisada…”

Sousei swiped past the lock screen and pressed the notification. He nearly fell over the steps when he saw the sender. It wasn’t Yukisada.

“Asumi—that’s…”

Of course, it was none other than Shiramori Asumi. It couldn’t be anyone else. There was a “2” next to the “Friends list” on the main Line screen and the names displayed below were “Hayashi” and “Asumi”; i.e. Hayashi Yukisada and Shiramori Asumi respectively.

He tapped on the talk page with trembling fingers.

[Can I call you now?]

“NOOOOOOOOAA!?”

He would have fallen down the stairs had he not grabbed the railings immediately.

W-W-W-What… D-do I-I need to r-reply…? B-B-But what should I write…?

In the meanwhile, as he fumbled around doing nothing, his phone vibrated again.

This time it wasn’t a message, but a voice call.

“I-It’s from S-Shiramori-san…?!”

He reflexively pressed the pickup button.

‘Hello.’

…S-Shit… It really is Shiramori-san’s voice…

What do you mean shit? He was completely lost and didn’t even know who it was or what it was he was cursing at. In any case, now that he answered the call, he had to say something. There’s no way he could cut it off right after picking up, speaking in terms of what a normal high school student would do, no, as any decent human being.

“…H-He-… H-Hello…?”

‘Takarai-kun?’

“…Y-Yeah.”

‘I wanted to call you since a while ago.’

“…Uh huh.”

‘Where are you right now?’

“…W-Where? Huh? Oh… I-I-I’m still in s-school.”

‘Huh, so you’re still there.’

“…Yeah.”

‘Hmm…’

“…”

‘……’

“………”

‘I was thinking.’

“Y-Yes?”

‘Yes, huh.’

“…U-Um.”

‘Can I call you by your first name?’

“…Eh?”

‘Sousei. Like that.’

“…Ah…Um… I-I mean…”

‘You don’t like it?’

“N-No… no… I-I mean y-yes… no… Um, about that…”

‘I was hoping you could call me by mine too, yeah?’

“…B-B-By your f-f-first name…?”

‘My friends have all sorts of nicknames for me. Like ‘Asumick’, or like ‘Asumin’ and so on.’

“…A-A-A-AAAAAAsumicKK…”

‘Maybe just ‘Asumi’ is fine.’

“A-A-AAAaaaAAAaaaAsumi…?”

‘The ‘Ah’ is too long.’

“…So-S-S-S-So-Sorry…”

‘Let’s just stick with ‘Asumi’.’

“………”

Sousei had unwittingly squatted down in the middle of the staircase without realizing it. His breathing was erratic. DIsgustingly erratic. He willed with his entire mind to calm down his breathing.

…Quite some time has passed and I was silent the whole time…

This cannot continue. He welled up his resolve to answer.

“A-Asumi.”

‘…Woah!’

“Huh?”

‘…My heart just fluttered.’

That…

Sousei instantly broke out into a cold sweat.

That’s supposed to be my line…