How To Eat Life:Chapter 1-4

#1-4_otogiri_tobi / You'll End Up Being Unable to Move

It had been a while since he experienced it.

In his dream, his brother appeared unexpectedly.

It was a place unfamiliar to him.

He didn't believe he had any knowledge of it.

The room or hallway had pure white ceilings and walls, and it was excessively bright. However, there were no windows. Was it a room? Or perhaps a corridor?

Tobi was running frantically.

Even when he stumbled, he quickly got back up and continued running.

He had to run. He had to escape. There was something pursuing him. Something. Something. What was it?

He couldn't afford to turn around. There was no time for that. His priority was to flee. He had to run away as fast as he possibly could.

"I've got you now!"

Out of nowhere, something scooped him up and lifted him into the air.

Something...

Something.

What was it?

Tobi attempted to break free. He exerted all his strength to shake off his brother, but it proved futile.

"I've got you."

"I've got you~"

"Tobi."

"I've got you!"

The one who had captured Tobi was his brother. With a tight grip, his brother laughed. His brother was much larger than Tobi. Tobi was too small. Tobi was still a child. Despite his desperate struggles, his brother's arms around his upper body remained unyielding. Nonetheless, Tobi had to keep running. Tobi had to find a way to escape. That was the only understanding he possessed.

His arms were restrained, so Tobi fiercely twisted his body. He thrashed his legs. He even headbutted his brother's chin.

"Owww. That hurt. Ouch," his brother repeated, but he continued to laugh.

What strength he possessed. Who could have known he was this powerful?

Or was it Tobi who was weak? Was he too feeble?

His brother was dressed in white attire.

"Let go me!"

His pristine white clothes were stained with red.

"No."

"Let go!"

Whose blood was it?

"No~"

Was it Tobi's blood?

"Let me go, please."

It was his brother's blood.

"I've got you, you see."

His brother continued to laugh.

"I can't do that, Tobi. I won't let go."

At some point, Tobi began to cry. Why was his brother preventing him from escaping when he needed to? Why couldn't he understand? Something was amiss, it felt wrong. Onii-chan?

Why?

"Shh—"

Why did you capture me and refuse to let go?

"Quiet down."

Let go.

Hey, Onii-chan.

"Behave."

This wasn't like Onii-chan.

"Be silent."

Onii-chan would never behave in such a manner.

"It's alright."

Was it?

"It's okay, so—"

Tobi shed many tears.

"Everything is alright."

He cried, he struggled relentlessly, and he grew weary.

"It's alright."

His brother repeated in a whisper, never releasing Tobi.

His brother caressed his back.

"It's alright..."

Tobi ceased his resistance.

His brother persisted in repeating.

It's alright.

It's okay.

Everything is alright.

Again and again.

He dreamt of his brother.

It was a place unknown to him, or perhaps a place he knew but had forgotten, and Tobi was there, as was his brother.

When he awoke, he found himself in his bed at the facility.

The sky visible through the gap in the curtains remained dark. A throbbing sensation lingered in his forehead.

It was because he had headbutted his brother.

"No," Tobi muttered. It had just been a dream. He reached up and gently touched his forehead, relieved to find no pain.

"...Onii-chan."

Tobi had no memory of his parents. He knew he must have had them since he was born, but his only recollection was of his brother. His brother, who had left him behind and disappeared that day.

No, that wasn't entirely true.

They had been running away together. They were being pursued by someone, something. His brother had been shot, injured. Tobi was still young and couldn't run anymore. So, he had no choice. His brother must have been devastated as well. He had hidden Tobi, acting as bait to distract their terrifying pursuers. His brother had gone off on his own. It was all for Tobi's sake. He was thinking of Tobi.

"Hide here," his brother had instructed.

"Stay here until I give the signal. Promise me, Tobi. Don't make a sound, under any circumstances."

Tobi had promised. But he had broken that promise. He couldn't wait any longer and had left the hiding place before his brother returned.

He had betrayed his brother.

After changing his shoes at the shoebox and ascending the stairs to the classroom, Tobi felt a poke in his back.

"U-"

Startled, he turned around to find Shiratama there, her shoulder adorned with the pochette that concealed Chinurasha. She smiled at him.

"Good morning, Otogiri-kun."

"Good morning. Uh, what...?"

"What?"

"Did you just poke me? Just now?"

"Poke?"

Shiratama poked the air with her index finger.

"Yes, I did. Oh, is poking not allowed?"

"...No, it's not forbidden."

"Did it bother you?"

"It wasn't particularly bothersome, but..."

"Would you prefer if I never did it again?"

Tobi didn't want to be startled and poked like that again. But it felt awkward to outright say, "Never do that again."

"Well... if you suddenly poke me, it can be a little... you know. Especially on the stairs. It could be dangerous."

"You'll be fine, Otogiri-kun," Shiratama said with unwavering confidence.

"...Huh? Why?"

"You were amazing on the horizontal bar. You have exceptional athletic skills. I'm sure you won't stumble on the stairs. I forgot to ask you yesterday, but do you participate in any sports?"

"No... I don't participate in any sports."

"None at all?"

"Not outside of physical education, I guess."

"Never tried any?"

"...I said no."

"When I was in elementary school, I wanted to join the track and field club. I also took dance lessons. But my athletic abilities weren't that..."

Why was she talking about this on the stairs so early in the morning?

Tobi didn't want to listen to Shiratama's ramblings. It wasn't that he disliked her, but he felt uncomfortable with all the attention they were getting. The gazes from others seemed to say, "What are they talking about on the stairs?" It made him uneasy.

It would be different if they were somewhere without people, just Tobi and Shiratama. Not that he preferred being alone with her, but Baku and even Chinurasha would be fine.

A sudden thought crossed his mind.

But was it okay to stop looking for his brother?

At that moment, his chest tightened, and sweat began to form. It had been a while since he felt this way. He hadn't experienced this in years. Before that, it used to happen frequently.

He had to search for his brother. If he just had that thought, he wouldn't feel like this.

When the anxiety overwhelmed him, it became unbearable.

Was his brother safe? Was he alright?

Maybe searching for him was pointless.

His brother was gone.

He couldn't be found anywhere on this earth.

No matter how hard he searched, it seemed futile.

It must be because Tobi hadn't kept his promise.

He started talking to Shiratama. For Tobi, that was the most significant change. But there were other changes as well.

Before, he wouldn't have paid attention to what was happening in the class. It didn't matter who was doing what and where. Tobi was only interested in his own whereabouts, Baku's, and his brother's.

They were just classmates, sharing the same school, the same class, and the same classroom. But they lived in different worlds. That was how Tobi felt. They had almost nothing in common, or at least very little.

Unintentionally, his gaze shifted towards Shiratama.

Shiratama was always serious. Most of the time, she focused on the teacher or the blackboard, occasionally looking down to take notes. She listened attentively and sometimes pondered. There were moments when she nodded in understanding.

The pochette hung on Shiratama's desk. How was Chinurasha doing inside? Baku seemed bored in class, but what about Chinu?

Baku had always been with him, an existence that felt natural. Tobi hadn't given much thought to Baku's presence.

But Tobi had met Chinu.

Chinu didn't speak like Baku did. She was different.

To ordinary people, Baku appeared as a "regular backpack," but Chinu seemed completely invisible.

Only Tobi could hear Baku's voice. That was the norm. But an exception had appeared.

Shiratama.

Chinu's cries were audible to Tobi and Shiratama alone.

Baku and Chinu were not the same, but they shared similarities.

Tobi and Shiratama had nothing in common. At least, that's what it seemed. How did they resemble each other? Was there any common ground between them?

Tobi glanced diagonally behind him. Masamune, also known as Masaki Shuuji, had neatly styled short hair today as well. That peculiar creature, with its tree bark-like skin resembling a tarsier, sat on his head in the "see no evil" pose. What was it?

Only Tobi and Shiratama could see it. Most likely, Masamune himself didn't even notice it.

Or perhaps Masamune was pretending not to notice it?

There was something strange on his head, yet no one commented on it. It seemed like nobody else could see it. So, Masamune decided to act as if it didn't exist. "You may not see it, but it's there—a peculiar thing." If he confessed this, nobody would believe him. In that case, Masamune would be similar to Tobi and Shiratama.

Maybe Masamune could hear Baku's voice too. That possibility couldn't be ruled out. Sometimes, when Baku spoke in class, no one else seemed to hear, so Masamune also chose to ignore it.

Shiratama, too, had pretended not to notice Baku until recently. Masamune might be the same.

Tobi looked up at the ceiling, then turned his gaze diagonally to the front.

Two seats ahead in the adjacent row sat Kon Chiami. At first glance, the creature clinging to her back seemed to belong somewhere other than here. Perhaps a bat or a flying squirrel. But it was neither of those, of course.

That, too, was an unusual occurrence.

Only Tobi and Shiratama had the ability to see it.

But what about Masamune?

And what about Kon Chiami herself?

Tobi's head started to feel heavy.

Until now, he had believed that only he was special. He could see things that others couldn't see and hear voices that others couldn't hear. Otogiri Tobi was not normal.

Shiratama seemed to have the same realization. She was different from the rest. Shiratama Ryuuko was not normal.

But they were wrong.

It wasn't just Tobi or Shiratama.

There wasn't just one person, but two.

Was it limited to just the two of them? Was it only Tobi and Shiratama, as expected?

If there were two people, then it wouldn't be surprising if there were three or four.

Like Masamune or Kon Chiami, for example?

And what about Shizukudani, who practiced infirmary schooling?

In other grades and classes, there were others who had strange things with them. Tobi hadn't counted them properly, so he didn't know the exact number, but there should have been more than ten people just in their middle school.

So there were those who had strange things with them but couldn't see or hear them, and there were those like Tobi and Shiratama who could see and hear them. Or perhaps everyone could actually see and hear them, but they pretended not to in order to appear normal?

Tobi pressed his right hand against the back of his neck and let out a sigh. He wouldn't find a clear answer just by thinking about it. It would be best to ask them directly.

Ask Masamune and Kon?

But how should he approach them? Tobi had never spoken to either of them before. What about Shiratama?

Shiratama was polite and friendly. She seemed to get along well with her classmates. Maybe he should ask Shiratama to inquire for him. Tobi requesting Shiratama to ask the two of them on his behalf? It was a bothersome idea, and he was reluctant to do so.

He felt tired.

Moments like these were perfect for taking a nap. Tobi prepared to lay his head down on his desk when something caught his attention.

Kon Chiami's strange creature turned to look at him.

Tobi almost blurted out "gross" without thinking. That thing definitely wasn't a bat or flying squirrel. Its face was different. It had big dark eyes with round pupils and a small nose. It resembled a human baby. Its body was like that of a bat or flying squirrel, but its face was that of a baby.

"Tobi..."

Baku's voice trailed off.

A commotion came from behind him. Tobi turned around to see someone standing up. It was a female student in the last seat by the window.

"Hm?"

The teacher called out to the student.

"What's wrong, Takatomo?"

Takatomo was probably her surname. She had her head down, facing downwards. Was she feeling unwell? Her breathing was heavy, as if she had been running. And she was trembling.

"Takatomo...?"

The teacher called out again.

Takatomo tried to respond, but her words didn't come out clearly.

"Takatomo-san."

Shiratama stood up. Concerned, she was probably trying to approach Takatomo.

"Don—"

Takatomo suddenly raised her head. Her complexion looked terrible, and there were dark circles under her eyes.

"Don't come...!"

"...Oh damn," a boy muttered under his breath. Several others echoed the same sentiment, and the classroom erupted in chaos.

Instead of telling them to be quiet and stop, Takatomo held her head in her hands.

"Hey, be quiet!"

The teacher yelled, but the class didn't calm down.

"I can't take it anymore...!"

Takatomo screamed and bolted out of the classroom, knocking over her desk and chair in the process. It happened in an instant. Takatomo forcefully opened the door and ran out. The teacher chased after her in a panic. Several students tried to follow her, but the teacher quickly drove them back into the classroom.

"Seriously, what was that? Isn't it bad?"

"So scary, so scary."

"She said she couldn't take it anymore."

"No, maybe it's us who can't take it anymore..."

As the students chattered and whispered, Tobi locked eyes with Shiratama.

Shiratama had a furrowed brow and pursed lips. She seemed genuinely perplexed, perhaps worried about Takatomo.

The girl sitting next to Shiratama said something to her. They were having a conversation. Was that girl her friend? Unlike Tobi, Shiratama had classmates she was on friendly terms with. That's how it should be, right? It would be strange not to have any. Tobi was the strange one.

Soon, the teacher returned. With a brief explanation that Takatomo wasn't feeling well, class resumed. But Class 3 of Year 2 remained unsettled. As soon as class ended, everyone started gossiping about Takatomo.

Shortly after, their homeroom teacher, Harimoto-sensei, entered the room. Harimoto, with his slicked back hair resembling a hedgehog, looked downcast. It seemed that the issue hadn't been resolved yet.

Harimoto was surrounded by several students, discussing something with them. Among them were Shiratama and Kon Chiami.

"Takatomo is probably fine. Please continue with your classes as usual and let me know if anything comes up."

Did anyone really believe that Takatomo was fine? Apart from Shiratama, Kon Chiami, and some of the girls, nobody seemed genuinely concerned about Takatomo. That's what Tobi thought. Among both boys and girls, there were those who found it amusing and those who were quickly losing interest. It was one of the two.

During lunchtime, Takatomo was still nowhere to be seen.

She had left notes and textbooks open on her desk. Tobi was very curious about that, even though he didn't know her first name.

Today, like always, he quickly devoured everything except the bread. Tobi held the koppe-pan in one hand and carried Baku on his shoulder as he swiftly left the classroom.

"Ah, Otogiri-kun."

Just as he was considering his path to the roof in the courtyard, the janitor Haizaki walked by.

"What are you doing? Wait, it's still lunchtime, isn't it?"

Tobi clicked his tongue.

"Haizaki-san again..."

"Well, what do you mean 'again'? Generally speaking, I'm always wandering around the school. No, not just wandering. I have a lot to do. It's my job, you see."

Haizaki glanced from the top of the school building to Tobi.

"You weren't planning to climb up to the roof, were you? Eh...? Were you climbing up the walls and stuff all this time? If that's the case, you could have gotten to the roof without a key. Eeehh...? Otogiri-kun, are you good at free climbing or something? Like bouldering?"

"...Nah, not really."

"You're not denying that you climbed up the walls? So it's true? You were getting to the roof by climbing in from the outside? If that's the case, it wouldn't be that surprising, but did I guess right? Eh...? Isn't that impressive?"

"I don't think it's that impressive..."

"You know, sorry to disappoint you while you're being so modest, but I'm not praising you, okay? Honestly, I'm impressed, but it's not a good thing to do. It's dangerous, you know? What if you fell? It could result in more than just an injury. The school building is three stories high, quite a considerable height."

"Well, I've never fallen even once, so..."

"Could it be, Otogiri-kun, that you do a lot of dangerous stuff like that? Well, I grew up in snowy regions myself, so I've jumped down from roofs too. But there was snow to cushion the fall, you see."

"That seems quite enjoyable."

"Yes, indeed. It was fun, truly fun... There was a thrill to it. But that thrill could have easily turned into a tragic accident with one wrong step. Reflecting on it now, it sends shivers down my spine..."

Suddenly, Haizaki snapped his fingers and exclaimed, "That's right!"

"Otogiri-kun, I wanted to ask you something. Have you ever been with someone else on the roof?"

"On the roof?" Tobi shook his head. "I don't think so. I've only been there during lunch breaks."

"I see. You're right. I patrol the roof once a week, and I haven't noticed any signs of anyone getting in. But Otogiri-kun managed to get in..."

Baku grumbled suspiciously, "You're asking some strange things."

"No, you see..." Haizaki began, then widened his eyes and said, "Ah!"

A small "ah" also escaped from Tobi's mouth.

"Did that guy just respond to me just now?" It was Baku.

Haizaki was not looking at Tobi but at Baku.

He quickly turned away from Baku and shifted his gaze towards Tobi, but it was too late.

"You can hear it, right? Haizaki-san. Baku's voice."

"What...?" Haizaki looked in the wrong direction. "Are you...? Referring to...? I wonder...? Mm? What was that...?"

"I mean, Baku's voice."

"Baku? Ah... that? By Baku, do you mean that thing? Uh... you know, there's something like that, right? An animal called 'Baku'?"

"No," Tobi tried to shake his head. "Not that."

"Heh, not that...?"

Haizaki took the towel draped around his neck and repeatedly wiped the tip of his nose and his forehead.

"Well, anyway, what was it? So, as I was saying, the roof, you see? The key, you see, it's usually hung on the wall of the staff room, but anyone could take it if they wanted to..."

"What are you suddenly talking about?"

"The key, the key to the roof. I don't know when, but it disappeared. It's strange, right? It should have been there yesterday. Somehow, it can't be found anywhere. This morning, I was looking for a student, and I couldn't find her. It's... you know. Ah, right. You know, from Otogiri-kun's class, Takatomo-san. She's missing, isn't she? Can't find her anywhere. Though it doesn't seem like she left the school. It's weird, isn't it?"

"I think it's pointless to try to hide it now," Baku said sardonically.

Tobi was convinced as well.

Haizaki could hear Baku's voice.

It wasn't just Shiratama.

Haizaki could hear it too.

What did this mean?

Tobi felt a little dizzy. He looked up at the sky. The weather was perfect today. The color was so vibrant, even more intense than diluted blue paint.

There was a figure on the roof of the special classroom building. Tobi gasped.

It wasn't just any figure.

It was a person.

"What's that?" Baku muttered.

"Eh..." Haizaki looked up at the roof. There was no doubt about it. Haizaki had reacted to Baku's voice. No, that wasn't the main point.

There was a student on the roof of the special classroom building.

She was wearing the school uniform. It was a female student.

Her skirt fluttered in the wind.

She stood at the edge of the roof.

Balancing on the low walls surrounding the edge, the parapets.

Tobi could see the girl's face. It was pale. The girl looked at Tobi, acknowledging his existence. There was no other meaning behind her gaze. It was devoid of life.

He didn't know what had really happened.

Everything happened in an instant.

The girl's body lurched forward. Even though there was nothing to hold her. She was standing on the edge of the parapets. If she fell forward, something terrible would happen. There was nothing to catch her. She would fall.

Tobi could only watch. There was nothing he could do but watch. "I have to do something," Tobi wasn't sure if he thought that or not.

The girl fell.

"Wait!" Haizaki let out a strange sound.

Tobi remained silent. Baku shuddered.

The girl was falling.

In a moment, her head turned downward.

In that position, the girl crashed down in the courtyard.