Watashi Tachi no Tamura kun:Volume1 Chapter1

Everyone used to call me the reincarnation of Jean-Henri Fabre, the father of modern entomology.

When I was in grade 3, my observation diary on the life cycle of cicadas won the town’s fair’s top prize. I think in my whole life, I have not been as popular as that time. Everyone called me the Insect Professor, and they all have their spotlights turn on me.

The reason that I got such a fantastic nickname is all because of my family.

That’s right- The Tamura family has three sons.

Everyone in my town knows about the genius and nice eldest son, the master-of-all-sports youngest son, and the ordinary middle son. That ordinary middle son is indeed me.

My smart and wise older brother is the pride of my parents; my active and cheerful younger brother is everyone’s darling. Of course, with these two captivating sons, my family is always very busy.

Whenever our family is in these sorts of events, however, the ordinary me always stand aside. No matter which photo albums you opened, you would see the young me, with my arms on my chest, one finger on my chin looking at my brothers and my parents(who had their heads made spinning by my brothers) from aside.

Now that I think about this in details, the one thing that I learned by being in the Tamura family, is my sharp observation skills…I think.

And it is this observation skill that made me the reincarnation of Fabre…I think.

Unfortunately, time is cruel. As my age increased, one by one my friends moved away from the young insect-loving hobby. Instead of trading beetles, they now trade monsters in video games; Instead of trading news where one could catch grasshoppers, they now trade news on which bookstores have the newest manga and magazine. Finally, insect identification (Trans note: taxonomy, picture) books have been replace with “The Mystery of Human Body- The Guide To Identify Male and Female Body Parts”….

I lost my only medal.

It probably started around that time! I don’t know whether my elderly relatives are doing this out of kindness to comfort me or what, the number of time this being said to me increased linearly:

“Yukisada will definitely grow up to be a very impressive man!”

The neighbor aunties also said:

“You are definitely going to be very successful one day!”

Even my homeroom teacher said:

“Yukisada, I know very well that you have much potential…”

…in another word, “even through you haven’t amounted to much right now…”

• sneeze*, I don’t need you people to tell me that. I know the truth myself. Anyway, after studying insects, my second hobby now is studying ancient folk stories and customs.

By the way, the customs of Kamakura Period is my favorite historic period at the moment- something like a tea color-dyed hitatare (Trans note: a kind of robe/outer garment), along with a samurai-eboshi (Trans note: a kind of hat). And you can’t discuss this topic without mentioning the armor, helmet, and the 白糸緘 (Trans note: shiroo toodoshi- I don’t know the English term of it) and the 赤糸緘 (Trans note: aka toodoshiあかとおどし -this one as well)…the beauty of this clothing, extravagant yet mightily unyielding, the beauty of it all is just indescribable. “The true spirit of Japanese man”, you can find it all in this clothing style.

Ah ah, hmmm…Hmm?!

Let’s pretend I am a samurai!

And then, tragedy strikes.

It happened last night.

At first, I was only flipping through the ancient custom data book. As I was reading it, I became nostalgic about that time period. Before I realized it, I was holding my older brother’s bamboo katana, in front of my room’s mirror (in the middle of the night), and was busy getting into a samurai pose-

I pulled out the bamboo katana in my hand:

“I am indeed Tamura Yukisada. Come, let us duel!”

I uttered under my breath.

Just at that moment, my room door suddenly opened. The owner of the bamboo stick- my elder brother appeared at the door:

“Hey~Is my dictionary…What are you doing?”

Kya-

I almost screamed last night.

Whenever I think about that accident, my face becomes red hot, I am so embarrass that it is as if I am going to act like a girl and cover my face with my hands. I can only comfort myself by saying: It is already fortunate for me. I have done something even more shameful…ah.a…but….

“…Tamura. Are you listening to my question?”

Someone shook my shoulders a few times and pulled me back out into reality. When I lift my head, a common, yet familiar face appears. He is Takaura. He has been my good friend since when I was called the Insect Professor.

“Hey Takaura.”

“…Haa. You didn’t listen to my question at all!”

Takaura sighs exaggeratedly, and then points his finger towards my nose.

“I will repeat myself again, listen to me this time. Hmm- ok- Do you know what “time” is it?”

Not only is the way Takaura, with his head slightly sideway and has an hesitant expression, looks dubious; What he is trying to accomplishes with the question is a mystery to me as well. But I don’t want others to think that I have Alzheimer's disease or something, therefore I tried to answer his question:

“Right now it’s the second half of the lunch break.”

“I am not asking you this! Can you think, like, calendar-wise?”

“Calendar-wise? Then it is July?”

By the way, two weeks later is the final exam. After the final exam is the summer holiday. In entrance exam’s examinee’s lingo, that time period is the Crucial Moment.

“No! You really are such a dummy! You don’t understand at all, do you? The correct answer is “The last summer of junior high school life”!”

“…mu~n…”

I fell into a daze and habitually start to chew the pencil. I move my gaze towards the windows.

The last summer of junior high school life? In this world, there is no calendar that is compassionate enough to have this listed.

Outside the windows, the summer noon sky is boundlessly clear. The bright and clear light blue sky makes one feel refresh. Cicadas screech from afar to near…oh, what a scene! The symphony of cricket and cicadas.

As I listen to their summer symphony, my hand started to play around with my pencil. On my table is a half finished potential school/career survey form. Today is the hand in deadline.

As I got halfway through filling the form, the scene last night suddenly appeared in my mind. Because it was too embarrassing, I couldn’t write anything anymore.

I already wrote down the #1 potential senior high school’s name. What are left to fill in are my class year, class name, seat number, and my signature.

Ta(tome!) mura(ten!) Yuki(tome!) sada(zubatsu!).

…Not that I am boosting, but I have to say this: what an impressive name! Even though no one has ever told me that, I always think to myself: This name sounds a bit like a samurai’s name.

After I filled in everything, I gave my form to Takaura. Honestly, he always wants to be the class representative (and he is actually a candidate for the job). He is a sick person (Trans note: hentai) who can even enjoy boring works like collecting survey forms.

“Ok, Tamura handed in his form, let’s check his name off. Hmm, looks like there are still some outstanding forms……no no no that’s not important. Back to the topic! The last summer of junior high school life!”

This truly twisted kid has his eyes wide open. He leaned forward to me. Even though you want me to say something more but-

“…So what? I can only answer you with this phase. If that’s an acceptable answer, then please by all mean continue on!”

Rather than continuing on discussing this topic, I would rather pick my nose. Ok, let’s do it.

“Ahhgg, you don’t understand at all, do you! Don’t give me lame answers such as “so what?” You should have notice it, right? If you continue on spacing out like this, you will be completely behind!”

Takaura suddenly grabs my hands. What passionately hot hands. In that instance, the two of us stare at each other……sparks were glinting in our eyes……huh?

“I am…behind?”

“You are so far behind you can’t even measure it! Look at this!”

Takaura pulls out a three folded piece of paper out of his shirt pocket. At a glance, it is an A4 size contact list. In the list are the names, phone numbers, and the addresses of the students in this class. I backed up a bit.

“……wow, you actually carry this thing around everywhere? You are way too dangerous……”

“Look closely again, the main focus is these lines!”

Takaura’s finger is pointing at the lines he probably drew. These pencil lines connect the neatly spaced names together.

“First up is this couple. Here, Suzuki Chikato and…here, Nomura. Listen, you will be shock by this, these two people have been together since last month!”

“Wh- what?!”

Upon hearing this mortifying news, my upper body naturally straightened itself and leaned forward. You mean this actually happened?! That “Tough Old Woman” (Trans. Note: おむくろさん) Suzuki Chikato with “3B’s Alley Cat” Nomura? These two people are having dokdoki (Trans note: =fast heartbeats) sticky sticky moments with each other? (Trans note: I give up. Would someone please translate this line for me? Thanks.)

“Un-unimaginable!”

“Unacceptable right?”

As if it is ignoring the awestruck me, Takaura’s mechanical pencil keeps on producing the uncomfortable scratching sound as Takaura darken the line connecting those two people together.

“It’s too early to be surprise. Hayashi and Kobayashi, Amano and Ishioka- even these shocking couplings appeared! These two over here I think became a couple right at the start of this month. And then you have here with here…… here with here……she is probably with next class’ Yokoyama……and……those two broke up already. These two broke up as well……this and this……basically something like this.

The class contact list……no, one should call this “Relationship Map” to better reflect the truth…on this paper. My eyes followed the mechanical pencil’s lines. I almost become dizzy just by reading this. Most of the lines I see connect two names together; some lines stop halfway through; some lines advance in zigzag movement; others lead to multiple names; some are unidirectional only. All these lines head towards all sorts of random directions.

Making their ways around a few specific names, that is.

“Wh-when did the situation degenerate into this state?”

I can not help but lift my shaken finger, put it on the paper, and softly touch the empty (and awkward) area around my (and Takaura’s) name(s). This is a very very crushingly tragic truth. My (and Takaura’s) name(s), along with a few other people’s names, have been isolated from that tango mess of complex black lines. Our names stand out so much that one can not help but feel depress. That’s why! Now I can not disagree with the truth. I (and Takaura) am indeed behind. Just as I am picking my nose moronically, my fellow classmates have already been interconnected by these complex lines.

“’This is our last junior high school summer holiday! If we didn’t leave ourselves some wonderful memories to reminisce on later in life, this would be horrible!’ – I heard the girls have been saying this. Most of those people started vigorously to find a target at the end of last month, the rest did so at the beginning of this month……In other word, the confession fashion trend is spreading all around us.”

Confession!

“Fashion trend?”

“Don’t show that strange look. Haven’t you felt it? The mood ‘If I can only become successful now, only now can I become successful’ (Trans note: confuse? Me too). Even if you get dump, once you graduate you won’t see each other anymore; if on the other hand, you get a mate, then you have a wonderful summer waiting for you. Moreover, no matter whether the relationship lasted or not- this news is also being circulated around by the female students, you get assign into different groups based on whether you have love experience.”

“…what groups?”

“I know very well myself what those girls meant! If you look at this contact list, don’t you feel that us humans have already been separated into two different camps?”

I look at the relationship map, and instantly understand what that kid is saying. First of all, the people in one camp have their names buried in the whirlpool of black lines. The other kind, like Takaura’s and my name, are far away from the mess and have total clear space around our names.

In other word…

“One side has good relationship karma (Trans note: the original word is en, meaning fate/destiny to meet one another), and the other side has nothing at all…”

“Exactly! Looking at this, it is the popular and the unpopular. You and I are both ordinary in both looks and personalities, we are the kind of nobodies that nobody will notice…”

“Obviously we are at the unpopular side…”

Sa….sa….

“Oh, it is awful to be in ‘this side’ of the camp, right? You will never accept this, right? If we continue on the way we are, by 20 we will still be virgin, by 30 we will still haven’t marry, by 40 our heads will go bold, by 50, eh, hmm…”

I gasped. How will my future turn out? By the time I am 50, what kinds of tragedy awaits me?!

“Forget it. Anyway I definitely do not want to become that sorry state! Therefore I will board this fashion trend and get a girlfriend! And then, right before going into a senior high school and starting the next stage of my life, I will join ‘the other side’! This is my plan!”

-In that moment, my body almost collapses.

“You know…”

“Tamura! Are you willing to be like this forever?”

“It is true that I don’t want to be like this……”

No matter how unnoticeable I am, I am a normal puberty driven male high school student. If I have to choose being “in a relationship” and being “insulated from relationships”, of course I want to go to the former category, lift my head high and walk down that sunny road known as “life”.

But

“…Takaura, our world is actually very small. To us, this town……no, this classroom is like our whole world, right?”

“Ha? Yeah, something like that……why did you ask that all of a sudden?”

I answer Takaura with a nod and slowly stand up. And then:

“You just said that you want to get a girlfriend, right? Why don’t you open your eyes wide open and carefully look at your girlfriend candidates from our world! Look at them!”

We look around the familiar square classroom.

’Really, that’s really disgusting…as your friend, I recommend you go to the hospital……Do you get hungry from time to time?’

See…

’Yesterday I went to Shizuka senpai (1 year older)’s home. I met a guy…he drives a toreeraa(Trans note: 徒麗羅亜, which is just the fancy word forトレーラー)(Van)…he drank a bottle of miruku (Trans note: 魅瑠苦, kanji forミルク) (powder milk) all in one go…’

(Trans note: The actual sentence is longer…but I do not know what仏契 is…)

As I said……

’I feel so energetic right now I think I am going to break down (*laugh*) If my other personalities (Kurenai-Seiryuu-Choya (Trans note: from RPG games I think?...)) come out right now, you girls are dead (*laugh*) You girls better not make me angry (*laugh*) My smiling face is very scary~~ That’s what everyone says (*laugh*)’

…understand now?

“How’s that, Takaura. This is-“

“Ha?! Did that Tamura just stare at us?”

“No way?! What are you looking at? You need to pay money to even look at us?!”

-This is the true face of our female classmates.

I can’t even finish my sentence- I just collapse onto my desk silently. What’s going on? Is this a zoo? How am I supposed to become attracted to those people, fall into love, and confess to them? Where is my true ‘significant half’? Can someone tell me where she is-

“Ta-Tamura, pull yourself together! It’s only a light wound (Trans note: = slight set back)!”

“……I can’t go on any further……’the Other Side’, you go alone…… Don’t worry about me……I will stay on ‘this side’ for the rest…of my life……”

“Tamura! Don’t die on me!”

“……Fare…well……”

Ahhh, what a short life. I slowly close my eyes. As darkness began to consume my solitude heart-

“Bu-fuu?!”

Panic!

Out of no where, a mysterious object suddenly covered my whole face. I was so surprised that by reflex I snatched the paper away:

“What the heck is this?!”

I stand up from my seat.

“Fu-a”

Suddenly a strange sound appears.

It is as if time became suspended.

The distance is so close that I could, just a bit, feel the warmth of the body.

About 10 inches in front of my nose-

That person just stands there

And then

“……Sorry”

Our eyes levels are almost even.

The lips, so small that one can not help but doubt one’s eyes, open slightly. The sound that comes out of the mouth is so tiny that one can not feel any emotion from it.

Sorry, she said.

“……That….please?”

That, please?

“I……that……. is my form. The wind blew it here.”

I, that, is my form. The wind……eh?

“Ah?! My-my gosh!”

By the time I came about, it was too late. The unknown object that covered my face- it only take one glance to know that the paper is a potential school survey form. The form is currently being crush by my hand. Now all that’s left is a crumble ball of paper.

“I am sorry-

What’s her name- yeah her name is…

“Sorry……Mazzawa.”

…That’s the right name, right? Mazzawa...really…what a strange name…oh yeah.

Mazzawa Komaki.

On her pale and small face, her brown eyes are glinting strangely. Those two eyes are staring straight at me. I can not help but staring back at the glass-marble-like pupils.

“I will straighten the form right away.”

Before I realized what’s going on, I have already started to open that crumbled ball of survey form-

“……It’s ok”

She took away the form. No, the form was her to begin with. She took back the form.

Without hesitations, Mazzawa handed the almost scrap-paper-like crumble form to Takaura and walked back to her seat next to the windows. She advances through the narrow gap between the desks. Her hip under her skirt is as small as a child’s. Her ankles, with the school mandated socks, look just like the legs of a goat. Her thin shoulders, her delicate back and…Can a small body like this actually have organs in it? Does she even have to go to the bathroom?

“……Wait wait. Tamura? When will you snap out of it?”

Her hair, down to her shoulder height, softy afloat along the light wind and shimmer under the sunny sky, is amazing. I think this hair style is called the Bob Cut? As Mazzawa goes back to her seat, her fabulous hair is drifting behind her. She went back to her seat and look out of the windows with disinterest.

“Tamura- Hey- Tamuraaa”

She never talk loudly, and she never hang around with those rude (Trans note: or commoners) people. Mazzawa just sits there, alone, and looks up at the sky. Even when the light wind disarranged her hair, she remained indifferent; she looks just like a clay doll.

Wait....

Wait wait wait!

She is here!

Mazzawa Komaki.

Grade 3 is the first school year that she is in my class; before this I didn’t even know she exists. From what I heard she moved to our town when she entered junior high school. She is a mysterious girl with an unknown past. Actually, her school mark is amazingly good- I know this since we entered grade 3, our grade’s mock exam marks always get posted.

Someone like Mazzawa is in this class?

This is the first time I talk to her.

This is the first time I look at her from such a short distance.

Why is it? Those brilliant eyes, that pale and smooth skin, so clear and flawless it is as if her skin glows by itself. Is the light so bright I dare not move my eyes away?

When I finally came about:

“It is my fault.”

I apologized.

“I never noticed you before.”

“Tamura- Wake up- You eyes are goggling straight out-“

“I never knew that you are such a perfect girl…hey Takaura, Maggawa is really cute!”

“…eh. Are you serious?”

I finally turn my head around and look at Takaura’s formerly ignorable face.

“Of course I am serious! What would I gain with lying? She is really cute. Look, just her delicate movement sets her apart from anyone else!”

As I am about to point my finger towards her:

“!”

Maggawa just sneezed intensely.

“Wow, what a powerful sneeze. She is squeezing her nose……runny nose? Just as what I would expect from Maggawa, her handkerchief is pink.”

“Tamura, you haven’t…”

“I will change that ‘you haven’t’ into reality! I will step into ‘the Other Side’ with her!”

I half giggled, half without doubt announced this declaration. Even though I heard a strange sound coming from Takaura’s throat, but who cares about him! Maggawa is just too perfect! I am really sorry that I have never noticed her…wait a second?!

“Damn it! Let me see the relationship map!”

I suddenly notice a possibility. I hurriedly snatch the map away from Takaura’s hands. Such a perfect girl, don’t till me that some male students have already tainted her with their dirty hands?!

“Very good…Safe!”

The name “Mazzawa Komaki” does not have anyway offensive black lines around it. I relaxed instantly. I was very nervous back then. Now all I have to do is connect your name and my name together- with a thick, thick line!

“Tamura, you know…Mazzawa is not as ‘safe’ as you think she is…”

“Ahhhggg shut up! Stop bothering Mazzawa and I!”

“Think about it……Mazzawa is really cute, that’s true. But why is she on the ‘unpopular’ side of the camp? Don’t you think that’s very strange?”

“What a strange fortune!”

“Don’t you think that there must be some sort of reasons behind it? We are unpopular because we don’t stand out. But what about Mazzawa? Do you know why?”

“Destiny!”

“I am being very serious here. I suggest you to give up on her while you can. Mazzawa is not a character you can go for. At most she is a weirdo who is there just to push the plot forward. Even if you can get into dialogue mode with her, there will not be any event CGs. She doesn’t even have moving facial sprites. There is no way of getting to her ending because right from the start, her plot route doesn’t exist.”

“…You sure are fluent with these professional lingoes.’

“Be quiet. Hm, I will show you. I shouldn’t do this, but…”

Takaura, with his body trying to shield what he is doing, opened the crumbled-up up paper- which is Mazzawa’s survery form, and show it to me. Just as I am about to complain to this rouge class representative about how immoral his action is, I stopped-

“Hmmm?”

In that instant, Mazzawa’s private personal information was leaked.

Before I can comprehend the meaning of the words on the form, Takaura took the form away. He lowers his voice and asks me whether I understand. But what I just saw is not something one could understand the first time one reads it.

I started to think back to what was written in the #1 Potential School square entry box.

The phase “Back to my home planet Senior High School” – no, wait a second. The words “Senior High School” came with the form. Therefore…what?

“’Back to my home planet’?”

I slightly tilt my head as I try my best to comprehend the meaning of that phase. Takaura, with his already lowered voice, lightly poked my arm:

“…Let me tell you something beforehand, that girl has the same thing written on her forms multiple times already. No matter how harsh the homeroom teacher lectured her, she still does the same thing every time. The incident even turned into gossip in our grade. Everyone knows about this.”

“…Home…planet…”

“To be frank, this is why people stay away from Mazzawa. So why don’t you give up. She-”

Stop, Takaura. I made a hushing sound to stop Takaura from continuing on.

“Say no more. I commm-pletely understand now. That’s why.”

“…Sigh. Normal girls can be found everywhere, so why don’t you...”

“Mazzawa has such a funny sense of humor!”

Takaura just trips in a very classic fashion. But I don’t have time to care about his lame performance. ‘Back to my home planet’, how romantic, how affectionate, how lovely is Mazzawa! If even that Takaura is trying to talk me out of going after her, that means I don’t have to worry about having a huge group of competitors! Yes, Mazzawa! This is the best!

“Sigh…”

Takaura sighed deeply and lowered his head. Sorry man, as you are wasting your time sighing, I will go ahead and join “the other side” first.

Because, no matter how you try to argue this, now is really “the last summer of junior high school life”!

(End of Part I chapter I)