Difference between revisions of "User talk:Thatsjustpeachy"

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==Editing 剣神の継承者==
 
==Editing 剣神の継承者==
  +
===Prologue of Vol 2===
  +
* The pale blue sky stretched for '''miles, with not a single cloud to be seen'''. --> The pale blue sky stretched for miles, '''without a cloud in sight'''. I guess that captures the 'feel' better?
  +
* It was already past mid-May, the '''sunlight''' being glaringly bright and warm winds blowing about. --> It was already past mid-May, the '''sun''' being glaringly bright and warm winds blowing about.
  +
* The monotonous sky seemed to be the only one ignoring approaching summer’s presence, '''it’s''' appearance as normal as it always was. --> The monotonous sky seemed to be the only one ignoring approaching summer’s presence, '''its''' appearance as normal as it always was. (Grammar it's stands for "it is")[https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/it%27s Wikipedia - it's]
  +
* However, those phenomena would only last for the briefest of '''moments, and at this moment in time he''' hadn’t spotted anything out of the ordinary. --> However, those phenomena would only last for the briefest of moments '''and, until now, he''' hadn’t spotted anything out of the ordinary. (Just a suggestion) 'until now' seems to make the sentence 'flow' better compared to 'at this moment in time'.
  +
* Kurou was currently in '''one corner''' of the academy he was attending as a student, '''a vibrantly viridian garden'''. --> Kurou was currently in '''a corner''' of the academy he was attending as a student, '''a vibrant viridian garden'''. I guess vibrant viridian[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Viridian (Viridian is a blue-green pigment, a hydrated chromium(III) oxide, of medium saturation and relatively dark in value.)] garden makes more sense.
  +
* There was a grove of trees in the deepest part of the garden, '''and that was the location of the small cottage in which he resided.''' --> There was a grove of trees in the deepest part of the garden, '''and that was the location of the small cottage where he resided.''' --> There '''were''' a grove of trees in the deepest part of the garden, '''which marked the location of the small cottage where he resided.''' (Though I prefer this suggestion more, it seems to change the meaning a little)
  +
* Most importantly though, since it was within school '''grounds, commuting''' to school was a breeze. Coma there?
  +
* Kurou suddenly came to a '''halt, placing''' his hand on the katana strapped to his waist. --> Kurou suddenly came to a halt'''and placed''' his hand on the katana strapped to his waist.
  +
* Of course, '''his state of mind''' was prepared for '''anything to happen'''. --> Of course, '''he was mentally''' prepared for anything. 'His state of mind' sounds somewhat weird when used in that context.
  +
* Where the grove opened up into a clearing, there was a girl who was putting her '''spirit''' into swinging her sword. Maybe instead of 'spirit' how about 'whole'?
  +
* The sunlight '''streamed''' through her golden hair, which was tied in a '''sidetail, she''' was wearing a pale beige blazer, and the hem of her miniskirt was flapping about. --> The sunlight '''filtered''' through her golden hair, which was tied in a '''sidetail. She''' was wearing a pale beige blazer, and the hem of her miniskirt was flapping about.
  +
* The blade of the sword she was wielding was '''broad and thick, and it was roughly''' as long as she was tall. --> The blade of the sword she was wielding was broad, thick, and roughly as long as she was tall.
  +
* Just '''once''' look at it and it was clear that this sword was a genuine broadsword-esque blade. --> Just '''one''' look at it and it was clear that this sword was a genuine broadsword-esque blade.
  +
* However, the blonde girl was handling it lightly—even wielding it single-handedly '''on occasion'''. --> However, the blonde girl was handling it lightly—even wielding it single-handedly '''occasionally'''.
  +
* Her practice swings were stirring up '''wind''' in the grove, causing the trees to sway and their trunks to bend. --> Her practice swings were stirring up '''air''' in the grove, causing the trees to sway and their trunks to bend.
  +
* It was '''scenery''' that didn’t look rooted in reality at all. --> It was '''a scene''' that didn’t look rooted in reality at all.
  +
* Swordies could crush '''rock''' with their bare '''hands, and''' sprint faster than the wind. --> Swordies could crush '''rock(s?)''' with their bare hands and sprint faster than the wind.
  +
* Above all else '''though, Swordies''' were a race '''that was proficient with''' the sword '''from''' the time they were born into the world. --> Above all''' else, Swordies''' were a race '''proficient in''' the sword '''since''' the time they were born into the world.
  +
* Although appearance wise humans and Swordies looked alike, they were two completely different living organisms. --> Although, appearance wise, humans and Swordies looked alike, they were two completely different living organisms.
  +
* “Speaking of which, you’re finally discharged. I was wondering how long you were going to '''spend being cooped''' up in there.” --> “Speaking of which, you’re finally discharged. I was wondering how long you were going to '''spend cooped''' up in there.”
  +
* “I’m a human, you know. I '''got a deep gouging wound on my shoulder, not to mentioned I''' was slashed in various other places. The doctor remarked that the fact that I could be discharged in two week was already a miracle of sorts.” --> “I’m a human, you know. I '''got a deep wound gouged on my shoulder, not to mention that I''' was slashed in various other places. The doctor remarked that the fact that I could be discharged in two week was already a miracle of sorts.”
  +
* '''There was some stiffness left in it''', but it had roughly healed from the incident two weeks ago. --> It was still a little stiff, but it had roughly healed from the incident two weeks ago. (Makes more sense & a flows a little better)
  +
* “Humans are such inconvenient creatures. Well, in '''anycase'''… W-w-w-w-el-co…” --> “Humans are such inconvenient creatures. Well, in '''any case'''… W-w-w-w-el-co…”
  +
* Her skirt was dangerously short, till the '''point it barely''' concealed her panties. --> Her skirt was dangerously short, till the '''point where it barely''' concealed her panties.
  +
* Above all else though, because the uniform was tightly fitting to her body, Hinako’s ample bosom stood out, revealing just '''how well stacked''' she really was. --> Above all else though, because the uniform was tightly fitting to her body, Hinako’s ample bosom stood out, revealing just '''how well-endowed''' she really was.
  +
* “That woman… '''Such a needless souvenir to leave behind'''.” --> “That woman… leaving such an needless souvenir behind.”
  +
* She was currently missing, but even when she was gone she was still causing Kurou '''problems'''. --> She was currently missing, but even when she was gone she was still causing Kurou '''trouble'''.
  +
* However, the building in front of Kurou was a brand new '''two storied''' house that looked like it had been prefabricated. --> However, the building in front of Kurou was a brand '''new two storey''' house that looked like it had been '''prefabricated'''. There should be a better word choice than 'prefabricated' ? How about preconstructed?
  +
* Kurou nodded, chuckling wryly on the inside. It was hard '''to''' the academy to refuse any of Sefi’s requests. --> Kurou nodded, chuckling wryly on the inside. It was hard '''for''' the academy to refuse any of Sefi’s requests.
  +
* Living together with Hinako was something that was unavoidable and he '''couldn’t cancel,''' but now that Sefi was living together with them… --> "Couldn't cancel"? There should a better phrase ...
  +
* Kurou’s hand lightly touched the katana '''that was by his side.''' --> Did he take his katana off? Wouldn't "strapped to his side" (something like that) make a little more sense?
 
===Chapter 1 of Vol 2===
 
===Chapter 1 of Vol 2===
 
* Wearing the uniform of the academy, both hands were gripped tightly onto his sword as he lifted it into a '''raised position'''. Just my thoughts, but doesn't 'raised position' sound a little weird?
 
* Wearing the uniform of the academy, both hands were gripped tightly onto his sword as he lifted it into a '''raised position'''. Just my thoughts, but doesn't 'raised position' sound a little weird?

Revision as of 09:28, 27 January 2014

Editing 剣神の継承者

Prologue of Vol 2

  • The pale blue sky stretched for miles, with not a single cloud to be seen. --> The pale blue sky stretched for miles, without a cloud in sight. I guess that captures the 'feel' better?
  • It was already past mid-May, the sunlight being glaringly bright and warm winds blowing about. --> It was already past mid-May, the sun being glaringly bright and warm winds blowing about.
  • The monotonous sky seemed to be the only one ignoring approaching summer’s presence, it’s appearance as normal as it always was. --> The monotonous sky seemed to be the only one ignoring approaching summer’s presence, its appearance as normal as it always was. (Grammar it's stands for "it is")Wikipedia - it's
  • However, those phenomena would only last for the briefest of moments, and at this moment in time he hadn’t spotted anything out of the ordinary. --> However, those phenomena would only last for the briefest of moments and, until now, he hadn’t spotted anything out of the ordinary. (Just a suggestion) 'until now' seems to make the sentence 'flow' better compared to 'at this moment in time'.
  • Kurou was currently in one corner of the academy he was attending as a student, a vibrantly viridian garden. --> Kurou was currently in a corner of the academy he was attending as a student, a vibrant viridian garden. I guess vibrant viridian(Viridian is a blue-green pigment, a hydrated chromium(III) oxide, of medium saturation and relatively dark in value.) garden makes more sense.
  • There was a grove of trees in the deepest part of the garden, and that was the location of the small cottage in which he resided. --> There was a grove of trees in the deepest part of the garden, and that was the location of the small cottage where he resided. --> There were a grove of trees in the deepest part of the garden, which marked the location of the small cottage where he resided. (Though I prefer this suggestion more, it seems to change the meaning a little)
  • Most importantly though, since it was within school grounds, commuting to school was a breeze. Coma there?
  • Kurou suddenly came to a halt, placing his hand on the katana strapped to his waist. --> Kurou suddenly came to a haltand placed his hand on the katana strapped to his waist.
  • Of course, his state of mind was prepared for anything to happen. --> Of course, he was mentally prepared for anything. 'His state of mind' sounds somewhat weird when used in that context.
  • Where the grove opened up into a clearing, there was a girl who was putting her spirit into swinging her sword. Maybe instead of 'spirit' how about 'whole'?
  • The sunlight streamed through her golden hair, which was tied in a sidetail, she was wearing a pale beige blazer, and the hem of her miniskirt was flapping about. --> The sunlight filtered through her golden hair, which was tied in a sidetail. She was wearing a pale beige blazer, and the hem of her miniskirt was flapping about.
  • The blade of the sword she was wielding was broad and thick, and it was roughly as long as she was tall. --> The blade of the sword she was wielding was broad, thick, and roughly as long as she was tall.
  • Just once look at it and it was clear that this sword was a genuine broadsword-esque blade. --> Just one look at it and it was clear that this sword was a genuine broadsword-esque blade.
  • However, the blonde girl was handling it lightly—even wielding it single-handedly on occasion. --> However, the blonde girl was handling it lightly—even wielding it single-handedly occasionally.
  • Her practice swings were stirring up wind in the grove, causing the trees to sway and their trunks to bend. --> Her practice swings were stirring up air in the grove, causing the trees to sway and their trunks to bend.
  • It was scenery that didn’t look rooted in reality at all. --> It was a scene that didn’t look rooted in reality at all.
  • Swordies could crush rock with their bare hands, and sprint faster than the wind. --> Swordies could crush rock(s?) with their bare hands and sprint faster than the wind.
  • Above all else though, Swordies were a race that was proficient with the sword from the time they were born into the world. --> Above all else, Swordies were a race proficient in the sword since the time they were born into the world.
  • Although appearance wise humans and Swordies looked alike, they were two completely different living organisms. --> Although, appearance wise, humans and Swordies looked alike, they were two completely different living organisms.
  • “Speaking of which, you’re finally discharged. I was wondering how long you were going to spend being cooped up in there.” --> “Speaking of which, you’re finally discharged. I was wondering how long you were going to spend cooped up in there.”
  • “I’m a human, you know. I got a deep gouging wound on my shoulder, not to mentioned I was slashed in various other places. The doctor remarked that the fact that I could be discharged in two week was already a miracle of sorts.” --> “I’m a human, you know. I got a deep wound gouged on my shoulder, not to mention that I was slashed in various other places. The doctor remarked that the fact that I could be discharged in two week was already a miracle of sorts.”
  • There was some stiffness left in it, but it had roughly healed from the incident two weeks ago. --> It was still a little stiff, but it had roughly healed from the incident two weeks ago. (Makes more sense & a flows a little better)
  • “Humans are such inconvenient creatures. Well, in anycase… W-w-w-w-el-co…” --> “Humans are such inconvenient creatures. Well, in any case… W-w-w-w-el-co…”
  • Her skirt was dangerously short, till the point it barely concealed her panties. --> Her skirt was dangerously short, till the point where it barely concealed her panties.
  • Above all else though, because the uniform was tightly fitting to her body, Hinako’s ample bosom stood out, revealing just how well stacked she really was. --> Above all else though, because the uniform was tightly fitting to her body, Hinako’s ample bosom stood out, revealing just how well-endowed she really was.
  • “That woman… Such a needless souvenir to leave behind.” --> “That woman… leaving such an needless souvenir behind.”
  • She was currently missing, but even when she was gone she was still causing Kurou problems. --> She was currently missing, but even when she was gone she was still causing Kurou trouble.
  • However, the building in front of Kurou was a brand new two storied house that looked like it had been prefabricated. --> However, the building in front of Kurou was a brand new two storey house that looked like it had been prefabricated. There should be a better word choice than 'prefabricated' ? How about preconstructed?
  • Kurou nodded, chuckling wryly on the inside. It was hard to the academy to refuse any of Sefi’s requests. --> Kurou nodded, chuckling wryly on the inside. It was hard for the academy to refuse any of Sefi’s requests.
  • Living together with Hinako was something that was unavoidable and he couldn’t cancel, but now that Sefi was living together with them… --> "Couldn't cancel"? There should a better phrase ...
  • Kurou’s hand lightly touched the katana that was by his side. --> Did he take his katana off? Wouldn't "strapped to his side" (something like that) make a little more sense?

Chapter 1 of Vol 2

  • Wearing the uniform of the academy, both hands were gripped tightly onto his sword as he lifted it into a raised position. Just my thoughts, but doesn't 'raised position' sound a little weird?
  • Returning the sword to the raised position, he repeated swinging his sword. --> Returning the sword to the raised position, he repeatedly swung his sword. or maybe again he swung his sword?
  • Also he had spent the whole of yesterday moving his things around in the new house, so other than cleaning he hadn’t been able to do anything else. --> Also he had spent the whole of yesterday moving his things around in the new house so, other than cleaning, he hadn’t been able to do anything else.
  • Although it might seem a little rude to Sefi, he had the confidence if they were to fight a hundred battles he would win every one of them. --> Although it might seem a little rude to Sefi, he had confidence that if they were to fight a hundred battles he would win every one of them.
  • The Seven Swords were a title given to the strongest amongst the Swordies. --> The Seven Swords was a title given to the strongest amongst the Swordies.
  • Within the Seven Swords, the most brilliant of them was given the title of Sword Saint. How about 'strongest' ?
  • Even if his physical ability had gone down, or his body had dulled, Kurou wasn’t going to use those as excuses to lose. How about 'decreased'?
  • Kurou swung his blade down even harder. Wouldn't 'sword' make more sense instead of blade?
  • There was a fine line between training and ruining his body. --> How about 'overexerting himself'?
  • Taking a shower now would be a hassle, but at the very least he felt he should wash his face. --> Taking a shower now would be a hassle, but felt he should at least wash his face.
  • Previously home was just a small cottage with very little floor space, but now it was a two story building, so the number of rooms had increased. --> Previously, home was just a small cottage with very little floor area, but now it was a two story building, so the number of rooms had increased.
  • He could hear Sefi’s stream of abuse from behind the closed door. --> He could hear Sefi’s stream of insults from behind the closed door.
  • ... with all his might as well as continued to stay inside the toilet, the fact that Sefi hadn’t resorted to violence was a reflection of her kind nature. Wasn't he in the washroom?
  • When he finally noticed his surroundings, Hinako was already standing next to him, staring at Kurou intently. Wouldn't 'came to his senses' (or something like that) make a little more sense?
  • No, there is, thought Kurou as he gazed as Hinako suspiciously. --> No, there is, thought Kurou as he gazed at Hinako suspiciously.
  • I should probably have an antacid on hand, thought Kurou as he unexpectedly began to panic. --> I should probably have (some?) antacid on hand, thought Kurou as he unexpectedly began to panic.
  • Other than the TV, table, and a small cupboard, there was essentially no other pieces of furniture or appliances. It was quite a plainly adorned room. --> Other than the TV, table, and a small cupboard, there were essentially no other pieces of furniture or appliances. It was a quite plainly adorned room.
  • Kurou was sitting right in front of the table at the center of the room. --> Kurou was sitting right in front of the table in the center of the room.

はじめ (talk) 06:38, 22 January 2014 (CST) Yeah, haven't quite finished editing this chapter. Well, the above are just my suggestions. Would you (Thatsjustpeachy) happen to be translating from a Chinese raw? There are a few sentences that seem to be a little awkward ... that aside, thanks for the effort you put into your translations and I hope that you continue to translate this LN. はじめ (talk) 06:38, 22 January 2014 (CST)

Kenshin no Keishousha

I just wanted to say thanks for the work your putting into your translations.

Thanks TJP for taking this project again. :) --Chancs (talk) 01:05, 12 November 2013 (CST)

I'll upload the image of volumes 2,3 after thursday (Due to important exam ) --Yoyoyo5678 (talk)

Thanks for picking Kenshin no Keishousha again and while I'm at it, making the volume 2 current content readable. :D Zeikuu (talk) 12:54, 14 November 2013 (CST)


I'm done with V2 but I am very sorry I messed up a little with the names of the Image --Yoyoyo5678 (talk)

I'm done with V3 too --Yoyoyo5678 (talk)

Hoping to support your work as a editor

Hello thatsjustpeachy my user name is Tjobbear I am a inexperienced editor in baka-tsuki and yours translations are top notch I hope I can have permission to support you in your translations (even if it maybe only a little) on kenshin as a editor in the project.

Editing For Kenshin no Keishousha

I would like to register to be an editor. Are there any kind of requirements to meet? LT (talk)

Thank You!

Editing Kenshin

Hi I love your work on kenshin. I was just wondering, how do I become an editor? I promise my english good.--Hayashi s (talk) 18:51, 15 August 2013 (CDT)