User talk:Irbored

Comments
I'm sorry if I end up as a pain -___- Xersax (talk) 11:22, 7 January 2014 (CST)

Editing Check for TnJtRnK

(Placing thoughts in "( )" like previous chapters and the 'voices' in "< >". Just undo if it looks weird.)

I use <> on key parts that have SPECIAL meaning. like 『战场上洒盐的死神』 - <Salt Spraying Soul Reaper on the Battlefield>. Seriously I told you before you should have left those as is.

DONT DO THAT. Irbored (talk) 01:52, 14 January 2014 (CST)

Alright. Noted.

If I've annoyed or angered you in anyway. I apologize. Here's to a better TL-Editor partnership. Yeap. Cheers.

Now for more checks. Mostly TLC-ish. (Listed in numerical order of appearance. The decimals are those I added while doing the grammar and spelling check.)

1)Imperial Capital central authorities, to go into the audience hall at the end, there are huge stone pillars dividing the wall into left and right blocks, legend is the Holy Capital appeared here before the state and the Imperial Capital was erected on it's stone pillars.

The bold portion, is it saying the authorities, to enter the audience hall at the end, had to pass by the huge stone pillars, which divided the wall into left and right blocks?

2)Angoela change to the throne, is bound to bring a threat to the Queen's safety. Dirogne is a veteran of wars, instead of keeping him at home, why not send him to suppress out external enemies

Change -> Challenge? Thus, Angoela's challenge to the throne, is bound to bring a threat ...

3)Nearby Silvia thought that the Palace Security obviously did not take into account their own identity and export inquired about the military matters.

Export inquired? Like... inquired outside of their expertise? Meddle where they are not suppose to meddle?

4)These words made Lady Luonisica whole body unbending. Galerius was able to raise his eyebrows. Nearby Lucius was also fascinated and lifted his chin.

Unbending -> went rigid?

"was able to raise his eyebrows"... This would imply that he couldn't do so before...

Fascinated -> Intrigued?

5)Waver her sleeves in a waving gesture at the surrounding shrine maidens who quickly crowded out in front of Silvia, Silvia was separated from Galerius.

Wavering(Moving?) her sleeves in a waving gesture at the surrounding shrine maidens who quickly formed a crowd in front of Silvia, separating her from Galerius.

6)Silvia turns her head to look where Giulio is staring at, among the crevice across shrine maidens, she saw Galerius form.

among -> through ; across -> between

6.5)Lady Luonisica looked up and look askance at the overhead ceiling where loud talk could heard.

their loud talking could be heard?

6.75)there is(are) no enemy soldiers in this war, there is(are) no enemy generals, not the enemy, nor the enemy flag, it is a retreat of the forever war.

"not the enemy" : there is no enemy?

Forever war : Forever war?

7)But though she is only a vessel forced to accept care, but she was also a queen after all, her hands are supposed to hold a certain amount of power, but she never cried simply because she was afraid.

Cried -> Tried? ; Though she is only a vessel forced to accept care, she was still a queen; her hands are suppose to hold a certain amount of power, but she had never tried to utilize it, simply because she was (too) afraid.

8)"... No, this humble servant! This humble servant is not here for this reason at Your Majesty side!"

This humble servant is not by Your Majesty's side for this reason!

9)He wants to deny ... Silvia no matter what was going on, intended to direct Giulio to stand down, she found that, herself facing a face like Giulio how much one individual with a girls appearance could be a man with the capacity to display such unyielding.

Is it: (He wants to deny (pause) Silvia no matter what was going on) (Silvia however, intended to direct Giulio to stand down.)

Or: (He wants to deny...) (Silvia, no matter what was going on, intended to direct Giulio to stand down.)

And: She found out, by facing a face like Giulio,

10)Indeed, Silvia did not eat since yesterday. Because of the audience with the two Grand Duke made her feel heavy pressure, she of course has no appetite.

"...The better. "

She didn't want to talk to these people and continue this dialogue. But she does not know why, these shrine maidens have no intention of leaving.

Err... No clue what that refers to or means.

11)Under the silver-haired blue eyes in tears of agony, and a deep Stigma in Silvia's head.

Stigma like Chris and the Royal Consorts?

12)Just ignore what was here

12.5)Giulio whispered, Silvia felt her entire body pumping, reflexively wanting to get up and leave the bed.

Erm... Can understand what it means: Heart beating faster/stronger. But I think can be phrased better, because "entire body pumping" doesn't really makes sense.

12.75)Silvia her hands close to her chest, trying not to panic Giulio aware of her own heartbeat.

Not sure if it is: "trying not to panic Giulio, was aware of her own heartbeat" or "trying not to panic, whether Guilio was aware of her heartbeat"

12.875)Silvia hastily raised her raised voice, the sound resounding throughout the room, scared she quickly covered her mouth.

If possible, any other way to avoid using 2 "raised". If not: "raised her already raised voice"?

13)"... This humble servant did receive the command of His Majesty the Emperor command, to spy on Your Majesty, but this humble servant refused."

This humble servant did receive the command from His Majesty the Emperor to spy on Your Majesty, but this humble servant refused.

14)After the footsteps faded in the distance, all sounds seemed to dissappear into the night, Silvia alone in her Bedchambers leaning on the cold door, count When footsteps away, everything sounds ready to disappear into the night, Silvia alone in the dorm room on cold door, counting the heartbeats in her chest.

I'm guessing another one of your notes. So...

After the footsteps faded into the distance and when all sounds seemed to have faded into the night, Silvia - alone in her bedchambers - leaned against the cold door, counting the beatings in her chest.

All the best, and take your time. :D

Xersax (talk) 06:26, 14 January 2014 (CST)

Expressing Gratitude