Talk:Zero no Tsukaima:Volume1 Story1 Chapter3

Pg 70

(1) 'His nickname is "Colbert of Flame Snake". He is a mage who specializes in magics from the "Fire" system.' -> 'His nickname is "Colbert the Flame Snake". He is a mage who specializes in the elemental magic of "Fire".' [I changed his 'rune name" accordingly based on how "Zero no Louise" becomes "Louise the Zero". I also re-worded the second sentence, though it may be less accurate now.]

(2) 'Colbert has been concerned about the commoner young man who was called out by Louise during the "Spring Familiar Summoning" a few days ago.' -> 'Colbert has been concerned about the young male commoner who was summoned by Louise during the...' [I didn't like the sound of"commoner young man" so I replaced it with something that sounds a little more fluid.]

(3) 'So, he has closed himself off inside the library ever since last night, looking through books.' -> '..., poring through books.' ["Looking through books" seemed a bit too casual compared to "poring through books"]

(4) 'And it should be so too, because stuffed inside this library is the history of everything ever since Founder Brimir first built a new world in Halkeginia.' -> 'And it should be, because packed inside this library is the history of everything since Founder Brimir first built a new world in Halkeginia.' [This sentence was a little convoluted. I believe my changes alleviated it a little but I think it still needs re-working.]

(5) [The inconsistency with tenses is somewhat frustrating to me... I'll let the rest of you sort this problem out.]

--Da~Mike 21:28, 6 September 2006 (GMT)