Talk:Suzumiya Haruhi:Volume7 Prologue

Wow, this is a long prologue...

53 pages...xD

-BaKaFiSh

This must have been so hard to translate! Trying to keep track of all the future/present/past tenses...

While reading through it I thought of a few ways to help clarify things, but since I don't have the original text and couldn't read it anyway, I'd like to discuss them so the translation stays as accurate as possible.

First suggestion, to clarify which Nagato is being discussed, I propose we refer to the "past" version as "Nagato of the past" (or something similar) and the other as either just plain "Nagato". This is done in one spot, but I think it would clarify things to do it throughout.

Second, just a minor personal preference, I think a slight rewording of this passage would make it more "natural" sounding:

This Nagato was that Nagato. The Nagato that appeared at the hospital that night was this guy. The one that said her own punishment was being discussed and annoyed the shit out of me was this guy.

I'd suggest simply removing "was this guy" in both cases. Since the two Nagatos are set equal by the first sentence, it doesn't matter which one you're talking about.

Lastly, the following line:

This is all my assumption, and the result will be that we will all be like the helpless Nagato.

The context is very difficult to judge here, just from the way the story is written. But taking a guess, would the it still be accurate to say:

This is all my assumption, and the result would be that we all end up like that helpless Nagato who changed the world that night.

Taking some liberty here, adjusting the tense and clarifying the subject.

I'll have to read through it again, and there are some very minor changes I feel I could make, but I'd like to discuss any larger changes first.