Talk:Mushi:Vol2 Ch1

Nice work, cakeman! I really like how you translated Mina's speech!

Uncertain sentences have been changed. Please compare the versions with the History function - Brynhilde 1203 GMT 1 Dec 2011

Thanks for the corrections! Anyways most of what I changed were fairly simple mistakes, though I've undone some changes and made some other ones.

-A comma was deleted despite being grammatically correct because IMO it obstructed flow without needing to.

-“Assassinations” instead of “Assassination attempts” implies that the guy’s afraid of being assassinated multiple times. But I think it’s fine to just refer to assassination as a general concept, which doesn’t need plural or an article.

-with, into: I’m probably taking a few liberties with the English language with “into”, but I like it better since it implies how the whole training/education was shoved into him, whereas “with” seems to be more of a cooperative word.

-Demand=>threat: This phrase is about how easly Guriko can gouge out Sakaki’s eyes, right? Rereading the Chinese, I think I prefer “She can easily carry out that little hobby (implying that Guriko loves to frequently gouge out people’s eyes) of hers”, but I’m not certain of my understanding of that line.

-“Arrived”: Past tense doesn’t work since he hasn’t arrived when he typed that up. The rest of the sentence is changed for consistence. And I don’t think Guriko’s assumptions are far back enough to actually use past tense.

-Mina becoming alert: On second thought, using two descriptors for “became” that serve the same purpose is redundant. Instant and quick aren’t commonly used together, and it’s impossible to be instant without being considered quick anyways. Cakemanofdoom 18:32, 1 December 2011 (CST)