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...- [[User:larethian|larethian]] - '''Completed''' - reworked; proofed by '''georgi(IMS)''' ...'''Completed''' - reworked by [[User:larethian|larethian]]; proofed by '''georgi(IMS)'''

"Yo. For some reason, I thought you’d be here." <!-- Georgi: removed would as it sounded too formal compared to the Yo --> ...... A killing impulse that is slightly leaning towards your image..." <!-- Georgi: Changed view to image, hope it makes sense. -->

...nge, it should be in the past or conditional tense. I'll leave it though; Georgi: nah, it seems fine to me; a past tense would make more sense, but it doesn ...ing" is a horrible expression, but I'm really not sure how to rephrase it; Georgi: I agree; decided to replace with “How callous” -->

...child was involved in a traffic accident and lost all its memories. <!-- Georgi: removed past, since it is implied by memories… --> ...lood, so I'd assume there's nothing wrong with the current situation. <!-- Georgi: simplified this to make it sound cooler -->

::*Chapter 4 - [[User:larethian|larethian]] (quick-proof by '''georgi (IMS)''') - '''Completed'''

:*'''georgi (IMS Proofer)'''

...-- I'm bad at "who/whom" distinction, but I think in this case it's "who"; Georgi: whom is quite rare, usually after “with” or “to” --> I only talke

...aura of death creeping out of her like capillaries.<!-- Think this works; Georgi: no, either from or out of, not both. --> Since I am not used to my eyes ye

...nnot earn anything. She is only a ghost allowed to live in our world. <!-- Georgi: I still find earn weird, is it the right translation? I saw it used twice

<!-- Georgi: I don't get this sentence; would it mean that his premonition was not caus ...n entrusted to your care, could he have become skilled and powerful?" <!-- Georgi: I changed this, but I might have altered the meaning; it is either this, o