User contributions
Jump to navigation
Jump to search
- 06:17, 27 October 2011 diff hist -2 m Gekkou:Volume 1 Orange & Wine corrected word
- 06:15, 27 October 2011 diff hist +1 m Gekkou:Volume 1 Orange & Wine normal phrasing
- 06:14, 27 October 2011 diff hist -3 m Gekkou:Volume 1 Orange & Wine extraneous word
- 06:10, 27 October 2011 diff hist +2 m Gekkou:Volume 1 Orange & Wine "underway" doesn't make sense; "by the time" implies duration, which is appropriate here
- 06:08, 27 October 2011 diff hist +1 m Gekkou:Volume 1 Orange & Wine we normally wouldn't describe a house as "protrubing"
- 06:05, 27 October 2011 diff hist +91 m Gekkou:Volume 1 Orange & Wine Question for translator
- 06:04, 27 October 2011 diff hist 0 m Gekkou:Volume 1 Orange & Wine moved modifier to proper place
- 06:02, 27 October 2011 diff hist +1 m Gekkou:Volume 1 Orange & Wine better rhythm
- 05:33, 27 October 2011 diff hist +162 m Gekkou:Volume 1 Orange & Wine Question for translator
- 05:32, 27 October 2011 diff hist +1 m Gekkou:Volume 1 Orange & Wine correct typo
- 05:22, 27 October 2011 diff hist +190 m Gekkou:Volume 1 Orange & Wine Question for translator
- 05:20, 27 October 2011 diff hist -5 m Gekkou:Volume 1 Orange & Wine removed typo
- 05:15, 27 October 2011 diff hist 0 m Gekkou:Volume 1 Orange & Wine changed to correct word
- 05:14, 27 October 2011 diff hist +4 m Gekkou:Volume 1 Orange & Wine added missing word
- 05:12, 27 October 2011 diff hist -8 m Gekkou:Volume 1 Orange & Wine fixed grammar
- 05:11, 27 October 2011 diff hist +4 m Gekkou:Volume 1 Orange & Wine made tense consistent
- 05:10, 27 October 2011 diff hist +9 m Gekkou:Volume 1 Orange & Wine got rid of et al again. If "and others" becomes to repetitive, maybe some could be changed to "and crew" or "and friends" or "and his cohorts"
- 05:08, 27 October 2011 diff hist -17 m Gekkou:Volume 1 Orange & Wine more natural phrasing
- 05:05, 27 October 2011 diff hist +2 m Gekkou:Volume 1 Orange & Wine changed to standard phrase
- 05:04, 27 October 2011 diff hist +5 m Gekkou:Volume 1 Orange & Wine read awkwardly, and wasn't logically true (if some random person in Iowa knew about the recipe, they'd still be acting friviously; it isn't important that nobody knew about it, only that they didn't know about it)
- 05:02, 27 October 2011 diff hist 0 m Gekkou:Volume 1 Orange & Wine changed to correct word
- 05:01, 27 October 2011 diff hist +67 m Gekkou:Volume 1 Orange & Wine Question for translator
- 05:00, 27 October 2011 diff hist +9 m Gekkou:Volume 1 Orange & Wine et al doesn't really read well in fiction
- 04:58, 27 October 2011 diff hist +163 m Gekkou:Volume 1 Orange & Wine Question for translator
- 04:56, 27 October 2011 diff hist +101 m Gekkou:Volume 1 Orange & Wine Question for translator
- 04:54, 27 October 2011 diff hist +139 m Gekkou:Volume 1 Orange & Wine Question for translator
- 00:31, 27 October 2011 diff hist +2 m Gekkou:Volume 1 Sweet Nightmare correct form
- 00:28, 27 October 2011 diff hist -1 m Gekkou:Volume 1 Sweet Nightmare reads better
- 00:27, 27 October 2011 diff hist -1 m Gekkou:Volume 1 Sweet Nightmare "world of assumptions" doesn't really make sense
- 00:24, 27 October 2011 diff hist -2 m Gekkou:Volume 1 Sweet Nightmare flows better
- 00:17, 27 October 2011 diff hist +3 m Gekkou:Volume 1 Sweet Nightmare could also be rephrased as "It certainly rubbed me the wrong way that her plan had succeeded." The original phrasing combines the two and can't be parsed correctly.
- 00:14, 27 October 2011 diff hist 0 m Gekkou:Volume 1 Sweet Nightmare corrected phrasing
- 00:09, 27 October 2011 diff hist +1 m Gekkou:Volume 1 Sweet Nightmare "strictly" doesn't really make sense
- 00:07, 27 October 2011 diff hist +7 m Gekkou:Volume 1 Bitter Chocolate corrected awkward/unclear phrasing
- 00:06, 27 October 2011 diff hist +4 m Gekkou:Volume 1 Bitter Chocolate make tense consistent
- 00:03, 27 October 2011 diff hist -5 m Gekkou:Volume 1 Bitter Chocolate make it easier to follow who's saying what in this long exchange of dialog
- 23:56, 26 October 2011 diff hist +2 m Gekkou:Volume 1 Bitter Chocolate use proper form of word
- 23:53, 26 October 2011 diff hist +65 m Gekkou:Volume 1 Bitter Chocolate question for translator
- 23:50, 26 October 2011 diff hist -9 m Gekkou:Volume 1 Bitter Chocolate removed extraneous "then"; used proper past tense of "weep"
- 23:47, 26 October 2011 diff hist +1 m Gekkou:Volume 1 Bitter Chocolate correct typo
- 23:44, 26 October 2011 diff hist -1 m Gekkou:Volume 1 In The Café Make it clear who's talking
- 23:42, 26 October 2011 diff hist +1 m Gekkou:Volume 1 In The Café better flow
- 23:40, 26 October 2011 diff hist +4 m Gekkou:Volume 1 In The Café corrected tense
- 22:51, 26 October 2011 diff hist +2 m Gekkou:Volume 1 In The Café corrected grammar
- 22:45, 26 October 2011 diff hist 0 m Gekkou:Volume 1 In The Café could also replace comma/colon with ", but"
- 22:31, 26 October 2011 diff hist +65 m Gekkou:Volume 1 Confession question for translator
- 22:28, 26 October 2011 diff hist 0 m Gekkou:Volume 1 Confession flows better
- 20:44, 26 October 2011 diff hist +1 m Gekkou:Volume 1 Confession could also be "aspects of her plan"
- 20:42, 26 October 2011 diff hist +89 Gekkou:Volume 1 Confession
- 20:27, 26 October 2011 diff hist +3 Gekkou:Volume 1 Confession "dubious" would mean she herself was doubting something, which isn't the case. "suspicious" could be read either way, but sounds normal; "puzzling" would make it absolutely clear it is describing how Nonomiya views her attitude
- 20:21, 26 October 2011 diff hist -2 m Gekkou:Volume 1 Confession more natural phrasing
- 06:39, 26 October 2011 diff hist -9 m Gekkou:Volume 1 Murder Recipe Struggled with this sentence for a long time, it read very awkwardly but I'm not sure what it was trying to say, so not positive how to rephrase it; this version reads okay and makes sense, but not sure it matches the author's intent
- 06:32, 26 October 2011 diff hist -1 m Gekkou:Volume 1 Live Making it clear who is speaking, otherwise it seems like Nonomiya is talking until you get to the following line
- 06:31, 26 October 2011 diff hist 0 m Gekkou:Volume 1 Live changing tense to agree with previous sentence
- 06:30, 26 October 2011 diff hist -8 m Gekkou:Volume 1 Live more natural phrasing
- 06:28, 26 October 2011 diff hist 0 m Gekkou:Volume 1 Live correct word
- 06:20, 26 October 2011 diff hist -2 m Gekkou:Volume 1 Live corrected grammar "their"->"your". Moving next line up to be with quote is more stylistic, and could easily be reverted.
- 06:17, 26 October 2011 diff hist -1 m Gekkou:Volume 1 Live At first read, it sounds like a continuation of the teacher's dialog; this makes it clear Nonomiya is talking, before you even get to Usami's line
- 06:11, 26 October 2011 diff hist +1 m Gekkou:Volume 1 Live In the previous sentence, the 2nd "it" works because it's referring to the situation or the circumstances, as in "it could be the case". In this sentence, the pronoun is clearly referring to a female person.
- 06:01, 26 October 2011 diff hist +1 m Gekkou:Volume 1 Live "dresses" only works if all the mourners are female. "visited" isn't a verb we'd normally use to describe attending a funeral.
- 05:59, 26 October 2011 diff hist +4 m Gekkou:Volume 1 Live correct tense
- 05:56, 26 October 2011 diff hist 0 m Gekkou:Volume 1 Live Making it clearer who's talking
- 05:53, 26 October 2011 diff hist -1 m Gekkou:Volume 1 Live Assuming this is meant in the sense of "tell me again", not in the sense of "making me the class representative again", the comma is not correct
- 05:49, 26 October 2011 diff hist +3 m Gekkou:Volume 1 Live More natural phrasing
- 05:47, 26 October 2011 diff hist -5 m Gekkou:Volume 1 Live Still not entirely pleased with this phrasing, but it's clearer than the original. Instead of "relied on", it would read more naturally as "with", but I get the feeling the Japanese probably specified that the trick was relying on something?
- 05:10, 26 October 2011 diff hist -8 m Gekkou:Volume 1 Live redundant and awkward
- 22:56, 25 October 2011 diff hist -5 m Gekkou:Volume 1 Murder Recipe "answered" doesn't work well, since he's not displaying his emotions
- 22:54, 25 October 2011 diff hist +8 m Gekkou:Volume 1 Murder Recipe "deciding factor" doesn't really make sense, there was no list of possible decisions being debated and chosen from
- 22:52, 25 October 2011 diff hist +1 m Gekkou:Volume 1 Murder Recipe Trying to make it clear at a glance who's speaking
- 22:42, 25 October 2011 diff hist -1 m Gekkou:Volume 1 Murder Recipe Extraneous comma, no pause here when reading aloud
- 22:41, 25 October 2011 diff hist +9 m Gekkou:Volume 1 Murder Recipe "et al" just reads awkwardly in fiction, you don't see it used in novels
- 22:39, 25 October 2011 diff hist 0 m Gekkou:Volume 1 Murder Recipe "exalted" isn't correct; it would mean that it was something that excessively praised or glorified his imagination, which isn't what's intended.
- 22:37, 25 October 2011 diff hist 0 m Gekkou:Volume 1 Murder Recipe corrected awkward phrasing
- 22:35, 25 October 2011 diff hist -6 m Gekkou:Volume 1 Murder Recipe No reason for quotes around "caption", it's a perfectly normal and legitimate use of the word. Also, the word "there" doesn't have a clear antecedent, since an A4 sheet isn't really a place, it's an object.
- 22:31, 25 October 2011 diff hist 0 m Gekkou:Volume 1 Murder Recipe Changing to common English idiom
- 22:25, 25 October 2011 diff hist -2 m Gekkou:Volume 1 Murder Recipe "tainted" doesn't work well in English in this context; it implies guilt by association, rather than by intent. "Lecherous" seems to fit in context, but I don't know if that fits the Japanese. "Impure" is a close match to "tainted".
- 22:21, 25 October 2011 diff hist +4 m Gekkou:Volume 1 Murder Recipe You can't get dumped if you're not already going out. When changing to "rejected", "harshly" seems more natural than "badly", but badly would work if it's clear that's what the author intended.
- 22:19, 25 October 2011 diff hist +4 Gekkou:Volume 1 Murder Recipe Very hard to keep track of who's talking. By putting the quotes in the same paragraph as the speaker, it's much clearer.
- 22:12, 25 October 2011 diff hist +6 m Gekkou:Volume 1 Murder Recipe While technically correct, "et al" is usually used in citations, and usually used to refer to authors, and rarely used in speech or fiction.
- 22:05, 25 October 2011 diff hist +1 m Gekkou:Volume 1 Murder Recipe Flows better
- 21:56, 25 October 2011 diff hist -1 m Gekkou:Volume 1 Murder Recipe Previous phrasing parsed to only Tsukimori chattering, which is out of character; I assume all the girls were chattering. Also, it was a pretty comma-heavy sentence.
- 21:54, 25 October 2011 diff hist -9 m Gekkou:Volume 1 Murder Recipe previous phrasing parsed to Kamogawa being mixed with a sigh, rather than the quote being mixed with a sigh. Not sure this is the proper correction, but at least it's proper.
- 21:53, 25 October 2011 diff hist 0 m Gekkou:Volume 1 Murder Recipe Assuming this was a typo, if not sentence doesn't make sense
- 21:50, 25 October 2011 diff hist 0 m Gekkou:Volume 1 Moonlight changed to proper English idiom