Sion Note:Vol 5
I don’t know the reason for my birth. I don’t know the reason for my birth.
I don’t know the reason for my birth.
"….."
Those thoughts drifted within his head.
Those were the only thoughts that drifted within his head.
The place he found himself in was colorless.
Everything was gray.
There are no scenery, smells or sounds to speak of. It was simply a space covered in gray.
And he was born there.
He was born in a place where everything else was gray.
And within that grayness,
"…..Aah."
He whispered.
But no sounds came out.
There existed only a piece of information in his mind, telling him that he had muttered ‘aah’.
No sounds came out.
No breath ever escaped those lips of his either.
The air doesn’t vibrate, and almost as if everything he does is meaningless — he cannot affect the world in any way.
However, he had knowledge of the world.
Air was in the world.
Colors were in the world.
Sounds were in the world.
Beautiful scenery expanded somewhere else — for some reason, he had those kinds of knowledge.
Even though he can never witness that.
Even though he can never feel that.
"...But I can imagine."
He said.
The Lonesome Demon[Ryner Eris Reed] muttered to himself.
Even his name came from himself.
The lonesome demon.
The lonesome monster.
Even if he labeled himself as ‘lonesome’, his words won’t reach anyone.
So he thought.
Ryner thought,
"….Why was I born?"
He muttered with a face of despair.
And he lifted his beautiful face.
A lazy, bored yet somewhat lonesome face.
As expected, what he saw ahead was gray.
As far as he can see, his vision was filled with gray.
He stood alone.
There’s nothing he should do.
There’s no one to call out to him.
He was simply there.
He simply existed there.
Without finding the meaning and reason for his birth, he was alone—
"For what…"
And continued to question,
"For what purpose am I…"
He continued to question.
Every once in a while, he’d feel like crying.
He didn’t know why he felt that way.
He was alone ever since he was born, so he didn’t know why feelings of loneliness would have their place within him.
Even though his chest hurt so much, he couldn’t figure out why he felt lonely.
But one thing is for certain — he held feelings of loneliness.
Perhaps it’s not a far stretch to say that those were the only things he had within his heart.
He lifted his hand. He looked at his palm and covered his chest with his hand.
Covered his chest that was still hurting.
And,
"….I’m lonely."
He whispered.
"But I don’t know why."
He whispered.
"What kind of purpose does this feeling have? Is there some meaning to this?"
He said and lifted his face again.
There was nothing but expanses of gray in front of him, yet he still gazed ahead,
"…If there really is some meaning, then I can endure this. If there is some meaning to this loneliness, then I could hold on for just a little longer…but…if there’s no meaning to it…"
If there’s no meaning to his own existence.
"Then I’d just want to disappear."
Ryner said.
"It’s painful."
With a tearful face.
"…It’s painful."
He said.
He widened his eyes.
And he felt something wet fall from his eye.
And,
"….Ah."
He raised his voice. His voice was drowned out in the whirling expanse of gray that encompassed the world, but once again,
"Ah."
He let out a whisper.
And said,
"Tears."
He said, surprised.
He knew that those were tears.
And it was the first time he’d ever cried.
People cry when they’re sad.
People cry when they’re lonely.
People cry when they’re happy — he knew all of that. But that was the first time he’d cried.
So Ryner, taken by surprise, quickly put his hand to his face.
The tear flowed from his left eye.
So he put his left hand there and whispered,
"…Stay."
He poured magic into his fingertip.
And it was done.
A tattoo in the shape of a tear was engraved right below his left eye.
The shape of a tear.
The proof that he’d once cried was engraved.
He didn’t know what meaning that tear had, but he’ll cherish it nonetheless.
He’ll cherish any kind of change in this constant world.
"…"
And if anyone ever came here.
If his existence truly had a purpose, and someone came here for him.
Then he might be able to tell them.
In this place.
In this empty place buried in loneliness.
That he…
"…"
That he had always been lonely — the tear mark will be testament to that.
So he engraved the shape of a tear upon himself.
Below his eye, so it stands out.
Then he lifted his face.
As if wishing to show the tear mark to the whole world.
He lifted his face to show the world the loneliness within.
Then he smiled slightly.
He attempted to smile, so if anyone came for him, he could greet them with a smile.
"…."
But as expected, nothing happened.
Only grayness existed.
Only loneliness existed.
And he will be lonely forever.
"…"
But despite that, Ryner smiled on.
He smiled on, alone in a deserted place.
In preparation for something that might come here eventually.
He smiled on, in preparation for a miracle that might just occur.
For something, or someone compatible with him.
Tearing this grayness apart.
Tearing this darkness apart, that someone would appear before him — thinking such thoughts, he,
"….."
Continued to smile alone.
How much time has passed ever since he started to wander?
One year.
Ten years.
A hundred years.
He didn’t know anymore.
But,
"Die."
Sion whispered.
And swung his sword.
His black sword.
In a flash, the sword had slain hundreds of Goddesses and destroyed their bodies.
They couldn’t even scream.
Because the Goddesses saw Sion swinging his sword, and were dead in the next moment.
And there were flakes of blood. Enough to bury the entire land, it seems.
By drinking and drinking the blood of those Goddesses, his sword became even darker than when he’d created it.
Sion looked at that sword, and said,
"Disappear."
And the sword did.
The sword disappeared into his body.
And at the same time, he could tell that his own power was growing.
Every time he swung his sword.
Every time he killed a Goddess, his own power was growing.
His figure was now different than when he first attained consciousness. He transformed from a young boy into a powerful young man.
Long, silvery hair with sharp, golden eyes.
Even within a sea of blood, he stood with no blood staining him.
He turned around.
And there stood a single Goddess.
The Goddess of Reincarnation.
Unlike Sion, her appearance didn’t change much from when they first met.
Even though a long period of passed since their first meeting, she hadn’t changed a single bit.
She still looked like a cute, 14 or 15 year old girl.
She grasped the head of a Goddess in her right hand. Her fingertips sunk into the skull of the Goddess, and she devoured the Goddess from the inside out with her fingers.
She wore a joyful expression each time her fingers throbbed.
She noticed that Sion had turned around, and smiled at him.
"…You’re quite the mystery."
She said.
Sion replied,
"How so?"
"You don’t eat at all. I’ve always been watching you, but for all these 220 years, you’ve been doing nothing but destroying and didn’t eat anything."
Sion narrowed his eyes at her words and said,
"…Has it been that long."
"That's not the point."
Milk said and threw the empty Goddess away. She closed in upon Sion.
She was short.
No, Sion was the one who grew taller through these 220 years.
So he lowered his head to look at Milk.
Milk always smiled happily. Smiled joyfully. And looked up at Sion with her bewitching face,
"But I really don’t get tired of looking at you."
She said and lightly placed her hand on Sion’s chest. She pushed her hand into him.
Milk’s hand was attempting to devour the flesh of Sion’s chest, the insides of his body.
Sion reacted in an instant.
Seven black swords came to existence around him, all pointed towards Milk.
He asked,
"What’s the meaning of this?"
Milk looked up at the swords, her happy expression unfaltering.
"I’m testing you."
"Testing me?"
"Yes. To see whether you can defend yourself against me."
Milk said and looked at her own hand. Her hand currently embedded inside Sion’s chest.
And,
"It’s been more than two hundred years, yet you still cannot defend yourself against my power."
"But I can kill you."
"Yes, me. But if there were twenty Goddesses of my level of strength, you’ll be killed. You’ve grown stronger in these two hundred years, but in the end, you’re no match for us."
Sion answered while keeping his gaze focused on Milk.
"…But I have yet to encounter a Goddess with your level of…"
Milk interrupted,
"They do exist. There are even Goddesses who possess much greater and greedier power than me. Because the origin of our power lies in our hunger and desire, and there are many of my kind who are much hungrier than me."
"I see."
"Yes. And you won’t be able to defeat them."
"I see."
"Yes, that’s why…"
Milk said and pulled out her hand from Sion’s chest. She looked at the blood staining her hand and stuck out her tongue. She began licking up the blood.
She wore an entranced expression, and said,
"That’s why I never get tired of being with you."
"You say you’re a slaughterer. A destroyer who was created to erase Goddesses. I wonder, who was it that gave you that kind of order at the moment of your birth?"
Sion answered,
"I was told that I am destruction."
"By who?"
"I don’t know. But from the moment I’ve gained consciousness, I was only interested in destruction."
"That’s probably the same as our hunger."
"…."
"We, who are only interested in continuing to eat boundlessly, and you, who cannot find meaning in anything but destruction. But you are weak. If I didn’t help you, you’d be dead in an instant."
"….."
"For what have you been born, then? Your power alone won’t change anything. Or did the world predict that I’d help you…"
She sprung into action.
She jumped as if to embrace Sion, and actually managed to embrace him a second later.
She extended her hand.
Her hand tightened around the neck of a Goddess who suddenly appeared behind Sion.
The Goddess attempted to say something, but,
"I have no interest in your words."
Milk said and snapped the neck of the Goddess. Then she pierced the neck with her fingers, and began devouring the insides of the Goddess.
She began to devour the Goddess while still clinging on to Sion.
Sion gazed down that Milk’s face. Her face, so close that he could feel by tilting his head just a little.
Apparently, she was once his partner for reproduction.
But now, he didn’t feel anything.
He didn’t have such feelings.
In the first place, he didn’t have any desire save for that of destruction.
So, after looking at Milk’s euphoric expression as she ate, he simply turned his eyes to the sky.
No, he wasn’t looking at the sky.
He was looking at a space, different from what he currently occupied.
A dimension different from where he was standing right now.
And focused his consciousness upon that spot.
And distortions appeared.
Gray distortions.
Countless ones.
Distortions that led to spaces filled with gray.
It took him more than two hundred years to arrive here.
The Menoris continent was overflowing with Goddesses, after all.
It took him some two hundred years to kill, kill, kill the endless waves of Goddesses that appeared before he could reach this place.
But he didn’t know why he was heading to this place. No, he wasn’t the one who suggested coming here in the first place.
So Sion gazed down at Milk again and said,
"And?"
Milk finished her meal, threw away the Goddess and detached herself from Sion. She felt her flat tummy and said,
"That wasn’t nearly enough."
She smiled.
Looking at her, Sion repeated his question.
"And?"
Milk looked at him.
"And what?"
"Just what did we come here for?"
Milk raised her head and looked up at the skies.
At the gray distortions that lead to another dimension.
She said,
"Can you see that?"
"Yes."
"What do you think those are?"
"I don’t know."
"They’re prisons, apparently."
"Prisons?"
"Yes. Prisons made by the Goddesses who dwelled in the south. No, it might not be completely right to call them prisons."
"What are you talking about?"
"Anyways, they’re on the outskirts of somewhere not here. Spots that lead to places that don’t lead anywhere. Once you’re shoved in there, you won’t be able to come back to this side anymore. That’s where the Goddesses who are banished from this world get sent to."
Milk said.
And Sion looked up at the area with those countless gray distortions again.
Those distortions varied in sizes, but it seems like none of them led anywhere.
Sion raised his right hand and created a black sword from it. He released his sword. It flew towards one of those distortions and pierced it.
However.
"…"
Nothing happened.
The sword pierced the distortion and simply passed through it.
But not towards the ‘other side’ of the distortion.
Not the dimension where Goddesses are banished to.
It simply passed through to the sky on the other side of the distortion.
Sion vanished his sword.
"I can’t cut it."
Milk smiled,
"Of course. That distortion may appear on the outside, but we can’t touch it from here. So it’s been used to banish mad Goddesses."
She said.
Mad Goddesses.
Mad Goddesses.
Sion tilted his head a little,
"You mean me?"
He asked.
Milk shook her head.
"You don’t eat at all. So you’re no longer a Goddess, right? But Goddesses are the ones who are banished to there. Goddesses whose desire have grown too strong. Goddesses who attempt to eat their own kind."
Sion said,
"You."
"Ahaha, that’s right. Goddesses who start eating their own kind are called mad and hated by everyone. If they found me, I might get banished."
"You are mad."
"That might be true. But maybe that’s not the case. I stood by your side to confirm it, for once and all."
"…"
"Ever since I began devouring my own kind for your sake, I’ve been released. I found a meaning to my existence even within this continuing curse of hunger. As the one who protects and watches over you-"
Milk said.
But Sion replied,
"I have no interest in you."
"Aha, isn’t that what I just said to the Goddess I killed and devoured?"
He ignored her and continued,
"But I’m interested in that space. Why did you take me here?"
He said.
And remembered.
His first meeting with Milk. What she said when she directed him towards the south.
That was a distant memory.
A distant, distant memory, but…
—It’s just a rumor, but...
—Apparently there’s a hated one in the south.
—But if he’s despised by the Goddesses, maybe he’ll become your comrade?
Milk said such things.
But in reality, those who were so despised by the Goddesses that they were banished to that place are just Goddesses who devoured their own kind.
Just like Milk.
And that…
"Isn’t me."
Sion whispered.
"Or my comrade."
Sion whispered.
Then he looked at Milk,
"….Did you come here to search for a Goddess of your own kind?"
He said.
"If so, then this journey has been meaningless to me."
He said.
Then he doubled the swords around him.
To fourteen.
If he had fourteen swords, it should be possible to kill Milk without giving her a chance to fight back.
So he simply created the necessary amount of power.
Milk looked up at them and still smiled happily.
"My, my, you’re going to kill me once I’ve outlived my usefulness?"
"I am destruction."
"But you still can’t deal with the other Goddesses if I’m not at your…"
He unleashed one sword.
That sword pierced Milk’s chest.
"Ah."
Milk said and looked at her chest. Then she looked at him,
"It’s stuck in me."
She said.
"But you could’ve killed me in an instant if you wished. Why didn’t you do that?"
Sion looked at Milk,
"….."
He looked at her,
"I don’t know."
He said.
He felt like the same conversation happened a long time ago as well. He tried to kill Milk, but didn’t. Though he’s made for destruction alone, he can’t seem to kill this woman.
And,
"…."
And there’s meaning to this, Milk claimed. There’s meaning to having attained feelings, going wayward from the program.
And.
"Was there meaning to me coming here as well?"
Sion asked, and Milk said while pulling out the sword embedded in her chest.
"Yes. I’ve told you this before, but you might find a comrade of yours here."
"Comrade?"
"Yes. See, over there."
Milk looked up at the sky again. She pointed at a specific place.
Sion looked beyond.
And as he’d expected, there was a gray distortion.
It was a distortion not so different from the other ones. A distortion that seemed the same as countless others.
But Milk pointed at that spot unfalteringly and said.
"Because all the banished Goddesses were strong, sacrifices needed to be made for their banishment. And once a Goddess had been successfully banished by ten of us putting their lives on the line, there should be some residual information on each distortion. Information distributed throughout the shared consciousness of us Goddesses."
Sion said,
"There is no such information within me."
"Really?
"Yes."
"So you’ve truly become something completely different from Goddesses."
"You have information like that in you?"
"Yes. In the two hundred or so years I’ve been wandering with you, fifteen Goddesses have been banished here — I have such a piece of information. And I even know the names of those Goddesses. But for one reason or another, there’s no information concerning that distortion…"
She said and looked up.
She was still pointing at that one distortion.
Sion looked up at that distortion again.
But it still looked no different from the other ones.
Milk continued,
"And there were plenty of rumors. What if the ancestor of all Goddesses was sealed in there, or what if some monster from another dimension was residing in there. The most recent ones are of a monster despised by the world who lived in there, a monster by the name of Ryner Eris Reed. But for some reason, nobody knew where the rumor originated from."
"And those are pieces of information exchanged between the consciousness of Goddesses?"
"Yes. But nobody knew which Goddess spread that piece of rumor. Out of the blue, it just started circulating by itself—"
She turned towards him and said,
"But isn’t this rather interesting? Two unusual phenomena happened right before my eyes. The Goddess who was supposed to be my reproductive partner suddenly awakened to a new consciousness and lashed out. And almost at the same time, information of unknown origin concerning 'Ryner Eris Reed' began circulating in my consciousness. These two things happened simultaneously."
"Simultaneously?"
"Yes. Simultaneously. So I tried guiding you this far. I thought, maybe it’s my mission to guide an outcast like you to the monster despised by the world. So, do you feel anything?"
Sion answered,
"No."
"Ahaha, I see."
"Ah."
"Well, seems like things just won’t go that smoothly."
Milk said and gazed at him. For some reason, he could feel murderous intent radiating from within her.
Sion said,
"You’re trying to kill me?"
"I wonder."
"You can’t win against me."
"By myself, yes. But I find strength in numbers. I called my friends. I’ll kill you here."
"You can’t."
Milk smiled,
"If I couldn’t, I’ll just banish you. To the other side of that gray distortion—"
She said.
That seemed to be her objective all along. She was trying to banish Sion into the gray distortion.
"So in the end, you’re my enemy."
Sion said.
Milk replied,
"I’m on your side. But I think your fate is connected to the other side of that distortion."
"Rubbish."
"You won’t know till you’ve tried. Well, enough of the talk. I’ll banish you from here."
And Sion,
"You can’t."
Replied those same words.
He then created swords around him. Their numbers easily surpassed a hundred.
The Goddesses couldn’t even come near him—
But suddenly, a voice rang out behind him.
«So you are Asruld Roland. I’ve been waiting.»
Sion turned around.
And there stood a Goddess, beautiful like Milk.
And it wasn’t just one of them. Countless Goddesses stood there, and a few of them even possessed power that far surpassed Milk’s.
Sion commanded his swords,
"Kill the Goddesses."
And all the swords sprung into action at the same time.
They began to assault the Goddesses around him.
The Goddesses' reactions differed from one to another.
Ones who couldn’t dodge and were destroyed.
Ones who evaded them easily.
Ones who even caught the swords and threw them back.
Sion widened his eyes. The sword he himself unleashed now pierced his left shoulder,
"Gah."
He groaned.
But the Goddesses attacks didn’t stop there. All of them took advantage the instant that Sion faltered and assaulted him all at once.
"Shit."
Sion created swords again.
In his two hands.
And he swung them around, tearing apart Goddesses.
But he couldn’t keep it up for long.
The numbers were too overwhelming.
And there were a few of them who were stronger than him.
The battle was lost before it even began.
So he began to lose power gradually. He struggled as hard as he could and cut away at the Goddesses that assaulted him, but his power began to dwindle.
And his knees hit the ground.
He collapsed.
The Goddesses attacked him like they’d just found an excellent bait, and sank their teeth into his legs, arms and insides, tearing them apart.
And,
"…"
He knew that he’d die.
He knew that he’d die right here.
And one Goddess appeared before Sion’s face.
Looking at him with what could be called pity, mingled with a tiny bit of expectation,
"Now, the preparations are complete."
She said.
He looked up with his drooping eyes and could see that she was Milk.
Milk said,
"If you died here, then I guess there’s no meaning to you after all. These two hundred years, and even my own existence, would lose their meaning. But if something happened here, if something special happened—"
She said while carrying the black sword that Sion just struck her with.
She raised the sword up and threw it into the sky.
He didn’t know where she threw it to.
He didn’t know where she threw the sword to.
But after throwing the sword, Milk said in a voice much like whispering,
"…Ah."
She looked down at him happily.
"It seems like you’re not meant to die here."
After hearing her whispers, Sion lost his consciousness.
As expected, nothing happened there.
An expanse of gray, gray, gray and continued infinitely.
Ryner kept on smiling within that loneliness.
He looked up at emptiness and continued to smile.
He wouldn’t cry anymore.
Because the shape of a tear was already engraved below his eye.
And if someone actually came to greet him, he wouldn’t want to be thought of as gloomy or lonesome.
Someone he’s been waiting for.
Something he’s been waiting for.
A fate he’s been waiting for.
He wanted to greet them with a smile, he thought.
And,
"…But nobody’s coming."
He muttered while smiling.
Even he didn’t know how long he stood like that.
Because he’s always been like that since the moment of his birth.
Because ever since he’s been granted life in this world, he’s been waiting for someone while glancing up at the sky — the gray sky.
So he said,
"Should I stop hoping?"
While smiling.
"Should I just look down and give up on everything?"
He said.
"It’s painful to hope. It’s painful to hope, even for a little bit longer…"
Should I just give up on myself, he thought.
"…"
Just when he,
"…"
Just when Ryner was about to give up on everything and look down,
The gray scenery was suddenly torn apart by something.
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