OreShura: Volume 4 Chapter 3

#3: Game Love Mentality is Mayhem

After Masuzu and the rest had gone home, Saeko-san went to take a bath.

It seemed like in the evening she had to go to work again, so I decided to make her a bento. For the sake of nutrition, I wanted to focus on vegetables and limit the oil used… So I decided to make a stew. A chizuken stew, since my aunt tried it once before and said it was 'tasty, tasty' as she ate.

When the ingredients in the pot started boiling, Saeko-san walked into the living room while wiping her wet hair. Even though she was only wearing a tank top and hot pants, I didn't react in the face of such a rough dressing manner. I was accustomed to it.

…But before I had gotten used to it, to be honest, I had always been very restless. After all, Saeko-san did have an amazing figure.

Saeko-san twitched her nose and sniffed.

"How wonderful. A loving wife's bento."

"Why is it a loving wife's bento?"

I used my chopsticks to poke the lotus root to see how it was, it still needed another three minutes.

Saeko-san took a beer from the refrigerator.

"You're such a good nephew, I can't believe that such a terribly awful pair of parents managed to give birth to a child like you, it's a real mystery."

"Haha, please stop. After all, you're taking care of me now, so if it's the least I can—"

"Eita is the one who should stop it. It's just natural that I take care of you. After all, we're family."

"…That's true, I'm sorry."

I looked up as I tried to reflect on this sudden outburst of happiness that was shot at me.

Saeko-san drained the can of beer in an instant:

"Oh, right, somehow when it comes to those four———— Do you want to turn your life into a mayhemshuraba? Or is it a harem perhaps?"

"I refuse either."

I took out another can of beer from the refrigerator.

"If you pick the mayhem, you should take some self-defense classes. Also, you should frequently put a copy of Shounen Jump under your shirt, so that when you're stabbed it'll lessen the penetration."

"I don't think that kind of thing could stop it…"

Furthermore, if I put it there, it seemed like it would have been difficult to move.

"If you pick the harem and don't carefully develop a plan plus manage the flags, it will be difficult to conquer five people simultaneously. If you mess up one or two options, an irreparable chain reaction will explode, so don't be lazy and forget to save."

"If you happen to find a memory card for my life, please buy it quickly."

I casually answered as I turned off the stove.

"Huh? Five people? Why are there five people?"

"I'm also a capture target."

"I refuse."

Saeko-san shrugged lightly.

"If that's so, then just pick one and date her."

"...That's why I am dating. With Masuzu."

However, Saeko-san shrugged once more, as if she still didn't believe it.

"That kid, isn't she the type that will never reveal what's on her heart? Even though she tried to act 'dere' just then because of the atmosphere... Honestly, it looks like her problems are much deeper than just that."

Yeah— As expected, she really is keen.

To be honest, even I didn't know what Masuzu was really thinking.

"Well, anyhow, it's not like she really is a bad person or something like that. In fact, she also has her good points."

"Eh— Such as?"

"First of all, there's the face, and after that it's the face, and um, ah, well, there is also the face."

Isn't that strange?

Besides the face, what more can I say about her that's good...?

No, of course there is something else. Like, her looks, her appearance, or how she seems to the eye.

Saeko smiled as if she saw through everything and said:

"A beautiful flower will always have poison and spines, this is something that the world dictates. Just be careful that you aren't pricked."

"Yes, yes."

I picked up the pot, and the scent of soy sauce drifted through the kitchen.

And then I suddenly thought of something.

Just what does Masuzu usually eat anyways?

♦

Masuzu was using her lips.

After I had bid farewell to Saeko-san and ate dinner with Chiwa, I was called to the usual cafe by SMS message. I found Masuzu sucking on a silvery pre-packaged jelly drink. It was the kind of thing that office workers often ate when they hadn't have any time to eat.

I sat in the seat opposite of her and ordered a coke from the waitress.

"Could it be that, that's actually your dinner?"

"Well, that's how it is, is there something wrong?"

I didn't know what she was targeting, but Masuzu inflated the drink bag with a 'phu' while she pouted.

"But when you have that, don't you feel like you haven't eaten anything? You should order a sandwich or pasta or something."

"I don't like that kind of obsessing eating behavior. As long as it simply fills an empty stomach, anything is okay."

That being said, I didn't think I had ever seen this girl eat anything proper before.

The morning when she had prepared food in my house, she cooked instant curry, and when she was at our club she only drank tea.

"Those lovestruck people will often say stuff like, 'Let's eat dinner together next time!', 'Oh, I know a really nice place to eat.' And as they mutter about vague topics and chat, they stuff themselves with animal carcasses, eggs, as well as plant seeds, roots, and grind leaves. Don't you think this behavior exhibits the revolting behavior of those in love?"

"…No, you really shouldn't say that much..."

Somehow she seemed to be in a really bad mood.

But this wasn't difficult to understand, since she had just been discredited by Saeko-san.

It was about eight o'clock at night, and the store was almost filled entirely with student couples enjoying the summer night together. In other people's eyes, we were the same, right? If you just took a look, it was impossible to see that we were fakes——— But this refers to an ordinary situation.

"So? What did you want to talk about?"

"There are some things I want to hear from you."

Masuzu took a sip of the iced coffee she ordered.

"The first thing's about Fuyuumi Ai. I never expected she would actually be your 'childhood friend'. I couldn't help but to be surprised."

"Like I said at the club, I didn't deliberately try to hide it."

"I know that's true. But the thing I wanted to confirm wasn't about that—— but whether Fuyuumi-san actually likes you or not."

The Coke that I ordered was brought to the table.

I drank half of it in one gulp.

"Eh, how am I supposed to know? Maybe she just didn't like the taste of how she was robbed of her position as childhood friend by Chiwa"

Because I couldn't mention the thing about the fiancée, I could only answer like this.

Masuzu sighed deeply.

"You really aren't honest. You're even more of a tsundere than Fuyuumi-san is."

"S-S-Shut up! Just leave me alone!"

"I'll change the question then..."

Masuzu poked the glass that was covered in condensed water and said:

"Fuyuumi's boyfriend, whom she calls 'Daigoro', is just a coverdummy, right?"

"[...]"

I said nothing, and Masuzu seemed to take it as my tacit approval.

"Well, it doesn't matter how one sees it, that's how it looks. In fact, I wonder how come Harusaki-san and Akishino-san haven't noticed by now."

"Leaving Hime aside for now, I think Chiwa is starting to become suspicious."

Fuyuumi often forgot about her own setting, so it wouldn't be long before she couldn't even hide it from Hime anymore. When that time came, what would happen to her position as Master? I was a little worried.

"I have a simple question. Can you listen to me and not get angry?"

"...What?"

Masuzu stared at me with serious eyes.

"Where do Harusaki-san, Akishino-san, and Fuyuumi-san find something good in a 'Preaching Lecturing Bookworm' like yourself?"

"And I'm not supposed to get angry?!"

A Preaching Lecturing Bookworm…

A Preaching Lecturing Bookworm is it…?!

"What's with that?! Why did you have to give me that kind of nickname?!"

As a matter of fact, this was just badmouthing!

"Because Eita is always lecturing, isn't he? You lecture me, you also lecture Mana, and still lecture Akishino-san. As a matter of fact, didn't you capture Fuyuumi-san by lecturing something?"

"You are just saying whatever you please! And don't speak of someone else's life as if he was the protagonist of a gal-game!"

Masuzu tilted her head with an 'Eh?'.

"Even though I don't know much about it, but are gal-games like that?"

"Huh? …Yeah, I guess so. Though I'm also not very sure. But there have to be some gal-games that are like that."

The male lead is only a tool to face the beautiful female protagonists. To be in a form that allows confronting and straightening out the personal problems of the girls and then succeed → which then gives a chance to capture them. 'Persuade' and 'Capture' are the key points, Saeko-san had said this once before.

"Personally, I have never seen the point of gal-games, even though you end up inside a game, yet you still have to deal with love."

"No, rather, it's exactly because it's inside a game, right? After all, love in the real world can be very complicated, in games that stuff is all dealt through shortcuts."

"Hee…"

Masuzu opened her eyes wide.

"This has to be the first time I feel like I agree with Eita. It looks like you can occasionally say sensible things after all."

"Saying 'occasionally' is unnecessary."

"You are merely a lecturing thief."

"What happened to the preaching bookworm?"

When you talk with this girl, the barrage of nicknames just never stopped.

"Ara, when you sweep away the hearts of girls, aren't you in a sense a 'thief'?"

"…You are really sugar-coating your words."

"'Gal-Game Male Protagonist = Lecturing Thief' Story".

Even I had never heard of that.

"Then let's get back to the question— What do those three girls like about you?"

"How should I know? Go ask them yourself."

"I want to hear Eita's own thoughts."

"Even if you say that..."

Those girls were super weird. I had no clue what they were thinking.

"First of all, Hime likes me because I can share her delusions of her 'past life'? Kind of like having a common interest."

"Yeah, Akishino-san is easy to understand... Fuyuumi-san then?"

"I don't know. I have no clue."

In kindergarten, it seemed like she had to confess to me to find out about 'the secret great place to watch fireworks'. However, that couldn't possibly be the case right now. I actually didn't understand what type of interest she had in me.

"Harusaki-san then?"

"Chiwa?"

I tilted my head and said.

"Chiwa's 'love' isn't a romantic kind of 'love'. It's a familial kind of 'love'. I said this before, but she's basically like a little sister to me."

Even though from her view I was the 'little brother'.

Chiwa definitely liked me, but it was the kind of 'family member' love.

"Is that really the case?"

Masuzu's eyes coldly peered over my face.

"Is that something you believe——— Or rather, is it something that you hope to be true?"

"Something I hope? What do you mean?"

"Because you're afraid of losing Harusaki Chiwa— This 'family member'."

"...?"

I didn't understand what Masuzu was saying.

Isn't it obvious that one's afraid of losing one's family members? What does this have to do with what we were talking about?

"Whatever. Let's not talk about that for now."

When the waitress came to refill water left, Masuzu took advantage of the moment and changed the topic.

"Your oba-sama, What kind of person is she?"

"A child inside an adult's body... Think of her like that. Her views and everything she experiences, she pushes it all into 'game' standards."

There are more people who are akin to Saeko-san. In fact, most of them are probably considered geniuses. Among people who create games, this kind of personality seems to be common, though.

"How bothersome. If she were simply a 'Lovestruck Mentality', there would be a lot of approaches in order to deal with her. But with people poisoned by love in games, what we could call a 'Game Love Mentality', I don't have the foggiest idea on how to deal with that."

"That's exactly how it is."

Even though Masuzu was very well-versed on the topic of shounen manga, she probably wasn't very familiar with gal-games, ero-games, and stuff in that category.

"Having said that, even though she was relying on intuition, I must have lost my edge if she was actually able to see through our little act."

Masuzu stirred her coffee with her straw as the melted ice had made it watery.

"What's wrong? It's rare for you admit your weaknesses."

"Even if I look like this, I'm very confident in my 'camouflage'. As long as I put on the act of a good girl, adults are sure to be tricked. To have that miss-fire, I'm shocked."

"…I see."

I had also been hit by that. After all, I thought my own act had been pretty good, too.

At this moment, Masuzu showed an unfathomable expression.

"Why does even Eita look depressed?"

"Why are you asking?"

"Even if our fake relationship gets revealed, you don't lose anything at all. As a matter of fact, shouldn't you feel happy?"

"How could that be possible?!"

My voice raised.

"Since you and I are officially recognized as a couple in school, if everything was exposed as a lie now, wouldn't things get really awkward after that? Since we have come this far, I'm in for a penny, in for a pound."

"[...]"

"If you're willing to return my notebook, of course, that would be a completely different matter. In that case, I'd break up with you at the spot."

When I said that, the corners of Masuzu's mouth gradually rose into a smile.

"You've come to say some really conceited things. When you're obviously just a preaching, lecturing, thieving bookworm."

"Hahaha, what kind of thief is that?"

This admitting and well-behaved Masuzu wasn't like her at all.

A poisonous tongue and arrogance suited her better.

"What type of thief? A very foul thief."

"You really don't have to explain."

"After breaking into a lone college girl's home to look for her underwear, and scattering said underwear all across the room, you started to sniff and sniff all over the odors while you rolled about. When the student came back and started screaming, you started to lecture in a poor Kansai accent, 'Panties must be white! There shouldn't be black or red ones!' When she called the police, you started shouting, 'I'm guilty as charged! Guilty as charged!', wore panties on your head and fled."

"You really didn't have to explain!"

Or rather, just let it go! The guests around us are looking!

"After being arrested, you became a bookworm in prison."

"Don't be so persistent to finish!"

The two college girls who sat in the neighboring space hurriedly left, and their faces looked twisted as if they had seen something really disgusting.

…G-Good gracious...

"In any case, just as that 'filthy thing' said, I can't be depressed anymore. Since that's the case, I'll follow your aunt's condition and win the crown at the this miss contest."

"[...]"

Was 'that filthy thing' referring to me?

Not 'boyfriend'?

"Of course, the 'filthy thing' has to lend some assistance as well. So that we can make Harusaki-san and the others recognize that I'm your girlfriend while we are on the boarding house trip."

"Before that, could you acknowledge that I'm a human being…?"

As expected, it really would be better if my 'girlfriend' was just a little bit more well-behaved after all.

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