On a Godless Planet:Volume2A Chapter 20
Chapter 20: Side Pocket[edit]
–Where in the world did that capacity come from?
●
Kido closed her parasol and moved into the shade.
It was a bit late to call it morning.
During the AM hours, the shadow cast by Tachikawa Will stretched out to create shade in front of the stairs leading up to Tachikawa Station’s north entrance.
Kido held a large travel bag at her right side. Her normal suitcase wouldn’t have been enough for a 3-day camping trip in Okutama.
…I’ve been out and about a lot this summer.
She had far too many personal matters to deal with.
When will I finally have a chance to rest? she wondered before rethinking that.
I suppose this is meant to be a break from it all.
She would be with the members of the game club. Izumi would be there too and she could generally ignore her own issues during the trip.
…This is starting to sound really selfish of me!!
But that also meant the others were respecting her privacy. She wasn’t delighted this would be in Okutama, but for the others, this was an extension of their summer vacation.
Hopefully it can be that for me too, she thought before she heard a voice.
“Hey, Kido-chan!”
Oh, it’s Shifu-san. She was emptyhanded and accompanied by the knowledge god.
●
As those two approached from the road in front of the north entrance…
“We ate breakfast on the second floor of the McDonald’s over there and were taking a break there when we saw you arrive.”
“Is your luggage with Raidou-san?”
“Because carrying two people’s worth of luggage would get in the way while we shopped.”
Shifu-san must have thought that wasn’t enough of an explanation because she continued.
“Tooru will be coming later with our luggage and the cooler. Then we’ll shove what we bought in the cooler and Tooru will be in charge of carrying our food and camping equipment. I’ll be in charge of carrying our clothes and stuff.”
“The way you consolidate your luggage really shows that you are a divine couple.”
“We’re both so big we have to consolidate it or it’s just too much.”
That wasn’t quite what Kido had meant, but as long as the basic sentiment got across. Since that was their everyday life, it probably didn’t seem special to them. And…
“Good morning!”
Douhai-san and Izumi arrived from the west.
Douhai-san carried a large bag on her right and Izumi carried a very old sports bag as the two of them entered the shade.
“Ohh, what’s this Sumeragi-chan? That’s one hell of a bag.”
“Um, yes! He’s a war buddy I gained during my Ishikawa Prefecture expedition! I shove all my valuables inside and sleep with him in my arms! Otherwise someone steals my stuff while I sleep and runs off! But the person who did that was caught and sent to some place they called ‘headquarters’!”
I have no idea what any of that means.
●
The shopping trip had begun.
Tachikawa Will’s basement had long, wide aisles of primarily perishable foods. As a shop in a train station building, it had a lot of luxury specialties from different regions, but…
“If you avoid those things, you can find some decent prices here. And it’s a large enough store that you can buy certain ingredients by the kilo.”
With Shifu’s cart in the center, everyone grabbed baskets and filled them with the necessary products from the refrigerated shelves. Shifu’s cart was lined with trays of primarily meat, but…
“Kido-san, do you have any dietary restrictions?”
“No, not really. I prefer seafood, but I like other meats too.”
“Oh,” said Kido in realization.
“The Mesopotamians do have restrictions, don’t they?”
●
Kuwajiri listened to Shifu’s response.
“They do. They mostly have to watch out for pork and horse meat. That rules out most processed meats, so it would be a good idea to be careful.”
“When cooking barbecue or yakiniku, we should probably set up three grills: one for the Mesopotamians, one for the beef, and one for the pork.”
“With so many people, we would probably need that many regardless.”
That was a good point. And on that topic…
“Where are the Mesopotamians right now, anyway?”
They had agreed to meet up here on short notice last night. The Mesopotamians hadn’t been there for that, so they would be doing their own thing right now. And knowing them…
“Oh, I bet they’re at the Daiichi department store.”
“Really?”
“Yup. That place sells food in the basement too, but it has a lot of weird odds and ends, including spices and other foreign products.”
“I like shopping there too. But when it comes to quantity, this place can’t be beat.”
“Can we really carry this much with us?”
“Tooru is bringing two 56-liter coolers, so we’ll be fine.”
“Th-that’s really big!”
Kuwajiri was used to it since Shifu and Raidou used those all the time, but apparently it was a surprise for the others.
Meanwhile, the idiot didn’t seem to know how big that was.
“So how big is a 56-liter cooler? Can you explain it using boobs?”
“The ordinary largest size is around 37 liters, so think of that like Senpai-chan’s size. The real largest size is 70 liters, but that’s meant for carrying in a car. That would be more like my size, so I guess 56 liters would be like Kido-chan’s size?”
“I would rather not be part of this analogy. Also, that does not accurately express the sizes in question.”
“Maybe, but it made sense to me! In terms of coolers, Senpai is at a divine ‘so big!’, Shifu-senpai is more of an ‘enormous…’, and you’re more of a ‘that’s what I call big!’ It’s all about understanding it on an emotional level!”
The idiot looked Kuwajiri’s way.
“How many liters are you?”
“Just so you know, I am the ice pack.”
“Yeah, you keep things nice and chilly! But in all seriousness, how big is 56 liters?”
“If you must know,” replied Kuwajiri. “A liter is defined as 1000 cubic centimeters of water, so 56 liters would be 56,000 cubic centimeters.”
“So 70x80cm?”
<That has no height, making it entirely flat, idiot.>
“Cubic centimeters exist in three dimensions. Using the mathematical concepts you’re imagining, you need X x Y x Z = 56,000. And using the shape you are likely imagining, that would be a bit more than 60 x 30 x 30cm.”
“…”
“And how big is that?”
Kuwajiri now understood she was looking at an idiot who couldn’t imagine size based on numbers.
She wasn’t sure what to do about this, but…
“It’s about the size of 28 2L bottles, Sumeragi-kun.”
“Ohh! That explains everything! So it’s about that size!”
●
“That seems like a bizarre unit choice to me, but if it works.”
“Maybe it’s like how 1000 cubic centimeters doesn’t sound like much but half a 2L bottle sounds like a lot.”
<That likely comes from how big a 2L drink bottle looks when compared to the 350mL, 500mL, and 1L drink cans. Conversely, 3L or 56L has no drink bottle size to compare to, so they are harder for people to imagine.>
“Douhai-san, well done coming up with that explanation.”
“Sumeragi-kun has stockpiled cases of natural water from my homeland, so I figured he would be familiar with that unit.”
“Good call! I make sure to drink some ‘Senpai Water’ every single day!”
“Does that make him a good worshiper?”
“How about you, Kido-senpai?”
“What about me?”
“How do you conceptualize water?”
●
Good question, thought Kido, viewing her surroundings.
They were on the basement floor of the train station building. The only other people around were nameless local gods, spirits, and automatons. That meant Izumi and the rest of the group she was with were the only ones who would hear her.
…Not that I am ready to be entirely open with them.
She spoke from her “position” as a god.
“I have two ways.”
“Two? And what are they?”
The knowledge god really seemed to like her. But she had heard yesterday that Norse mythology lacked a friendly water god, so Kido decided to view it as her filling in that gap.
“It depends on how I control it: privately or publicly.”
“What do you mean?”
“Or you could call it limited area versus wide area. This is the limited area version.”
Water rose from her right palm and flowed to her left palm.
That was all. None of the water remained afterwards.
“…”
“Ehhhhhhh!?”
“What about that was so surprising?”
“Well, producing water is normal enough, but I’ve never seen someone…reabsorb it?”
“Water circulates. From the rivers to the sea and vice versa. That is its nature.”
“Huh?” Izumi tilted his head. “How much of the water cycle did they know about in the age of the myths?”
<That would be meteorology.>
“Right,” agreed the knowledge god. “Because it is so closely tied to the lives of humans, humans have studied the weather since the prehistoric age. Rainmaking rituals, while misguided, were one approach to manipulating the weather, but the point is humans had realized the water changed based on certain conditions and followed certain patterns.”
And…
“The Ramayana, a text of ancient Indian mythology, references the system by which the sun heats up the ocean, producing rain. In Greece at around 500 BCE, they understood that most river water came from rain. Also in Greece, Aristotle produced the first human text on meteorology in the 4th century BCE, but he did not reach the point of rainwater forming a cycle.”
So…
“If Kido-senpai can cause water to circulate, her ability must exist outside the water cycle system.”
“Eh? But we just saw her do it.”
“So what is her ability?”
Kido had a hard time resisting when those two asked.
“I would like to know that as well.”
Now the knowledge god too. So to respond…
“Um, it is not a meteorological thing with me. And Izumi actually already gave the correct answer.”
●
What did that mean? Kido looked to the knowledge god and asked a question.
“Underground water wells up, flows into the sea as a river, evaporates from the sea or on the way to the sea, forms clouds, and causes rain to complete the cycle. This is known as the water cycle, correct?”
“Yes, that is correct.”
Then the knowledge god gave an “ah!” of realization.
She must have figured out what Kido’s authority was.
Her exclamation gathered the attention of the other shoppers, so their group moved from the beef section to the chicken section. Kido restarted the conversation there.
“Do you know when the theory of a rain-based water cycle was developed?”
“You said it didn’t exist yet in the 4th century BCE, right?”
“Um, but a lot of cooking involves steam, so wouldn’t they realize the importance of clouds and rain pretty early on? From there, they wouldn’t be far from the water cycle.”
Kido nodded. This had been basic knowledge from the moment water gods like her had appeared in this divine world, but…
“The water cycle includes rain falling from the clouds. Humans only began to discuss a system that places such importance on rain…in 1580.”
“That late!? So until the 16th century, humans weren’t sure where the water that welled up from underground came from?”
Shifu-san was correct. But there was a reason for this.
“At the time, no one thought rain was the source of all water. You see, they were not accurately measuring or observing rainfall back then and they were not keeping very many records.”
“Um, so should we assume human meteorology began in the 16th century?”
“It was smart of you to ask instead of just assuming.”
Kido chose her words carefully.
“In fact, when this theory was announced in France, it was widely rejected. But its supporters kept on working and began keeping records and measurements and analyzing the results. You might be shocked this took them until 1674.”
“So they were delayed by a century because of the detractors?”
A small hand went up in response to Shifu-san’s question. It was the knowledge god. She hung her head a bit as she spoke.
“I hate to say it…but it wasn’t just one century.”
“I’m afraid to ask, but how long was it really?”
“Even after analyzing their results, the mainstream opinion was that it was impossible for rainwater to be the source of all surface water, so the water cycle system was not accepted until…the beginning of the 19th century.”
“…”
“The 19th century!? Didn’t you say this started in, um, 1580?”
“Yes. Entrenched ideas can be hard to uproot.”
In other words…
“Until about 200 years ago, humans still viewed the weather as an extension of their mythologies.”
●
Kido was finally getting to her main point.
She picked up a package of chicken thighs and showed it to Shifu-san. When Shifu-san nodded, Kido placed it in the cart. And…
“Until the rain-based water cycle was accepted, humans thought the river water flowing into the sea came from the seawater soaking into the ground and welling back up again.”
She grabbed a pack of pre-marinated chicken.
“They knew in ancient times about the osmotic pressure that causes saltwater to soak into objects while dehydrating it. Like you see in salted or pickled foods. So they assumed the salt in the seawater would cause it to similarly soak into the ground, but they assumed the crust filtered out the salt, allowing it to well back up as freshwater.”
“Um, since salting dehydrates things, wouldn’t that remove the water from the ground?”
“They had an explanation for that. The ground’s filtration was so strong the salt was removed quickly enough for only the water to remain in the crust.”
“So, um, what happened to that salt?”
“Oh, I bet I know. There’s barely any in Japan, but you find it a lot in Europe and other places. I of course mean rock salt.”
Kido nodded in agreement and Balancer inclined their screen to mimic a nod.
<Rock salt forms when an ancient seabed swells up from tectonic plate movement and dries out, or when a salt lake in a desert dries up. But in a time before the plate tectonics theory, the rock salt plates common in Europe were seen as evidence of seawater soaking into the ground and having the salt filtered out.>
“It’s kind of like several misunderstandings converged on a single truth.”
“What do you mean?”
“It’s like how my distance ancestors were apes, I’m great at making funny faces, and I do a lot of stupid stuff, so people end up calling me an ape.”
<Do not worry, ape. I use the term figuratively in your case. I am not actually treating you like an ape.>
“Eh? Really!? Then it’s like a cute nickname!?”
<Yes. If I seriously called you an ape, it would be a vicious insult to all the real apes…>
“Did you have to end it with an ellipsis like it’s a poem or something!?”
Is this some kind of warmup exercise for them?
<By the way, the oldest form of meteorology, or geology I suppose, is an answer to the question of why rivers form. It is found in an ancient record by Homer of Greece. He said the continents float in the ocean and river water is the seawater traveling up through the land from the pressure below.>
“You could view that as a form of the filtration theory, so that idea was humanity’s going theory for nearly 3000 years at least.”
At this point, Kido brought the conversation back on topic.
“The point is, I am a god from the age of that older form of meteorology, which is why I can create this sort of direct cycle.”
●
I saw this as Kido-san opening up to us a bit.
…She revealed what age she belongs to.
She had revealed her identity to the Norse gods, but not to the Shinto gods.
I wasn’t going to ask since she had to have her reasons for that, but I also had a feeling she would tell us eventually. And once she did…
…She’ll probably stop talking about going away.
“Wh-why are you smiling at me?”
“Oh, no reason.”
Meanwhile, Kuwajiri-san put some spices and yakiniku sauce into the cart.
“Those are in bottles, so they’re awfully heavy.”
“We do need enough for 11 people, don’t we?”
“Will we have enough meat?”
Everyone looked to Balancer.
<Eh? Why me?>
“You have to ask? You’re always so nasty with me, telling me I’m eating more calories than I need in a day, but this is how you act when someone comes to you for that information!?”
<To be clear, I actively give advice to the ape, but I try to be more hands off with the others.>
When Sumeragi-kun and Balancer began trading insults, the local gods in the store began asking an employee to intervene, so I went and stopped them.
“You can give us some advice, okay?”
<Eh? But that isn’t my area of expertise.>
●
“I think Balancer is sulking because of Sumeragi-chan’s comment.”
“Balancer is more advanced than I thought.”
“Don’t be fooled, Kido-senpai! I’m just that good at getting under people’s skin! In FF2 terms, I’ve maxed out my proficiency level and bought a different weapon like 80 times!”
“Balancer’s personality sounds like a pain…or should I just say it’s complex?”
“Senpai-san, I hope you realize that describes you too.”
“Anyway, can someone cheer Balancer back up?”
“Um, Balancer gets cautious when I approach with a smile, so you do it, Kido-san!”
“What have you been doing to Balancer!?”
●
Kido had a number of questions, but she decided to keep things moving.
“Balancer? I don’t know much about nutritional science.”
“Eh?”
“Did I say something wrong?”
“Not really. I’m just wondering how you managed that figure without extensive knowledge of nutritional science.”
Shifu-san called the knowledge god away.
I could see Shifu-san working to calm the knowledge god and hear Izumi provoking her.
“Maybe you should try drinking something other than beer!”
“I don’t think that has anything to do with having a flat chest.”
“I do not have a beer belly, so I win this round!”
What are they even talking about? Kido saw Balancer glaring over at them, so she cleared her throat and…
“Could you give me some advice using your knowledge?”
<Hm, I wouldn’t be opposed to it, but I’m still not sure.>
“Could you think of it as part of the terraforming?”
<That wouldn’t really work.>
I suppose not, she thought before making a decision.
She beckoned Balancer over and said something to them.
“–––––”
●
…Eh?
Kido-san said something to Balancer. I had mostly heard what it was, but Balancer recoiled after hearing it.
<Hmm! You are very mistaken about something! Very, very mistaken…but, hm.>
“How about it?”
<Well, I am not an AI to let silly pride hold me back. I am a clever AI, so I will make the appropriate adjustments.>
Balancer shook their screen in exasperation before turning our way.
<The primary purpose of eating meat is to acquire protein, but you generally need ‘your body weight / 1000 grams’ of protein. I will not ask the girls’ weights, but if you weigh 60kg, you need 60g of protein. The beef shoulder roast piled up in the cart there has 18g of protein per 100g, so you would need to eat 330g of that per day. With 11 of you, that is 3.63kg per day. For a 3 day trip, you would need 10.89kg.>
“Ohh, and both Tooru and I weigh more than that, plus the Norse, Mesopotamians, and just the boys in general are going to eat more than the bare minimum.”
“When I was cooking up a ton of okonomiyaki in Ishikawa, that was all I ate, so I got carried away and ate 5 of them as a meal.”
“How are you so skinny when you eat so much?”
“You’re skinny and you eat lots of meat.”
“Do not compare me to that idiot! I beg you!”
Was it a bad thing that finding a similarity between an underclassman and my fav mad me happy? That aside…
“When we met up with Senpai-chan, the Mesopotamians, and so on for BBQ, you ordered the one labeled ‘5kg of meat!’. It took you some time, but you did finish the whole thing.”
“I couldn’t eat that much every meal, though. For the number of people going, we should probably buy around 20kg.”
“Now it sounds like we’re going to be eating an entire sheep.”
Shifu-san smiled a little.
“But anyway. This is our first time doing a multiday camping trip with so many people. Tooru and I have done multiday ones together and we’ve all done single day ones, but this is new. I’m kind of excited.”
●
When Shifu and the others didn’t show up at the north entrance stairs at the designated time, Raidou could guess what had happened.
“I bet they’re having fun shopping.”
“What do you mean?”
“Oh, I think I know. It’s when you stop thinking about ‘buying’ things and end up just having fun ‘shopping’.”
Kidou smiled and spoke to Bilgamesh.
“Instead of just saying ‘let’s buy this!’, you start considering different conditions, comparing different products, growing indecisive, and having trouble making a choice. It’s a lot more fun than you would think.”
“So like when you can’t decide what clothes to buy.”
“Exactly. It’s fun for the one doing the shopping, but it can be boring for anyone with them if they can’t get into the same mindset.”
“It is never boring for me.”
“That’s good.”
Now that’s a couple that will last, thought Raidou. And…
“Shinsei, are you fine waiting?”
“I’m uuuused to waiting.”
The youngest member of the waiting group questioned that.
“You are? I didn’t think gods normally had to wait.”
“Oooon the contrary. Back in myyyy heyday, I did a loooot of waiting. One of my belieeeevers would get a big head and demaaaand to have their faith tested, so I would chuuuuck them into the desert or ocean and see how loooong it took them to come back. But I always get borrrred and left before they did.”
“Um, could that have been the reason some tribes split up?”
“Don’t let it bother you. He sees it like dropping a coin in the ditch.”
“Oh,” said the underclassman with a tilt of her head just before a Revelation Board opened.
“Tooruuuu! The bottom of the bag just split and everyone’s cracking up.”
“I’ll be right there. Which side are you on?”
“The right.”
Raidou wasn’t sure which side that was, but he’d figure it out once he got there. If he got it wrong, it wouldn’t take long to find them regardless. Shifu was tall, so she’d spot him and wave or call out to him. So…
“Look after our camping equipment. I’ll be right back.”
●
Just as Shifu’s group joined the others, still laughing, Eshita arrived extremely late. She was carrying a single cardboard box.
“Look! I bought enough snacks to last us three days! Since I’m an inspector, I’ve gotta act like your chaperone, right!?”
“Oh, um, we appreciate it, Eshita-san. But, um.”
“Eh!? What is it!? Do you want to thank me more!? Don’t be shy!”
“Where are your clothes and daily necessities?”
“…”
“I’m not stupid!”
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