Omae o Otaku ni Shiteyaru kara, Ore o Riajuu ni Shitekure!:Volume 9 Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Sunday afternoon. Even though I was on a holiday, I stayed on the bed in my room and was staring at the towering heaven wall without going anywhere.

"I love Kashiwada so much ...."

That did not come from Hasegawa who dumped me. The words that couldn’t leave my head came from ...Azuki Sakurai. I was thinking about those words for... several times until now. She likes me ... What about it? But each time I was set by negative thoughts.

I wish that such a cute girl would really like someone like me. And I have this bad habit of over thinking things. But ... it was not a misunderstanding. She really loved me.... I love you. A person who was so cute and kind and gentle, that is what I think of her.... I still cannot believe it.

Even now, the words of her confession ... the feeling of her lips that kissed my cheeks ...never left. When I remember she confessed, I became a happy person, I feel very happy. Of course it was the first time since I was born to be confessed to by a girl. Immediately after being confessed, I was in a state of embarrassment and surprise, but when I remembered her words later, I was so touched that some tears appeared. After being confessed to her yesterday, I crawled into bed in joy.

Sakurai said something like this ... accept it, accept it, I like it. Is there such a thing that makes me so happy? "……but……" I'm happy ... ... I was embarrassed very much now, so how should I answer Sakurai's feelings..? Since I was confessed to, I must reply.

I love her as a human being and a friend. Our otaku hobbies match well and it will be fun if I go out with her. If I go out with Ms. Sakurai ... just thinking about it makes me really excited.

But ... I was just dumped by the Hasegawa...I haven’t completely forgotten about Hasegawa. Whenever I am in shock, I often think about Hasegawa, and I follow Hasegawa with my eyes in the classroom. I still like her... what am I thinking? I wonder what I am going to do with Ms. Sakurai’s confession. What will I do? Will I lie to my feelings and say sorry to Ms. Sakurai?

"Ha ... ... what to do ......"

Today is over, with no word from her. Too many things happened... Inside my head was a mess. Being dumped by Hasegawa, comforted and hugged by Koigasaki...who then avoided me and then told me that we should dissolve our agreement relationship. At the end of the day, I was confessed to by Ms. Sakurai. So....

The shock from the previous events has slightly diminished, but there is still the shock when I was told by Koigasaki to cancel our agreement relation. Would it be impossible to speak with her anymore? I absolutely do not want such a thing, but her intentions seemed solid.... Oh already, my little brain can’t handle all these events.I wonder what I should do in the future. No matter how much I thought, no conclusions came.

Next day.

I was thinking too much so I lacked sleep. I tried to sleep during rest periods.

"Kashiwada ~ someone is calling"

"……eh!?"

I was surprised when my girl classmates called my name, I raised my face from the desk, and near the door of the classroom ... There was Sakurai.

"...... っ!?" I was surprised that I rushed up and headed for her.Sakurai looked at my face and made a little uncomfortable smile.Sakurai started talking after we moved to the landing stairway where we could not be overheard.

"Yesterday ... ... That was so sudden, I’m sorry"

"Oh, don’t be ...." I get nervous when we are alone, and it shows. Her confession and... I also remembered her kissing my cheeks, my face got hotter. Sakurai also has red cheeks and will not look at my face.

"Oh, I’m... Sorry, I was surprised and could not say anything..... I was puzzled by your confession...." If I wasn’t surprised, I might have been able to at least say something while there.

"No, it's okay ...not to reply ...... or something ... ... so soon?"

"Sakurai-san...."

"I do not want to become a burden ... So do not worry too much about me .... If you have plenty of time, think about it with a light feeling, that is fine.... That's it! I'm sorry for taking your time! "

After Sakurai had her say, she lowered herhead and walked away from the place with a quick pace. It seems like you still care about me even in such a situation ... What a nice child you are. ...... Honestly, I was relieved to be told that my reply need not be soon. Because I could not answer right now. I have to think seriously about Ms. Sakurai further on. To give an appropriate answer.

Please do not go.

I was walking in the corridor to return to the classroom.

"Oh, Kashiwada -"

"... ....? ... .... Eh !?"

I was surprised when I turned around after I was called out from behind.

"Koigasaki.....!?"

It was Koigasaki who called out to me. She has been avoiding me recently, so I was surprised to hear from her. I wonder what it is about this time. I was feeling dark since she was avoiding me so I was surprised to be called out.

"I'm thinking about Nikaido's original joint magazine now, so won’t you look at it again after I am done?Becauseshe pleaded to me for this, I wanted to write something properly. "

I cannot but be amazed with Koigasaki speaking lightly as if nothing was wrong.

"Oh!...Oh! Of course!" Come to think of it, Koigasaki was asked by Nikaido to write a novel for the original joint creation doujinshi. Murasaki, asked me to help her. There were so many things that I hadcompletely forgotten.

"... ... Why do you look stunned?"

"Oh ... oh ... no ... at the birthday party you said you were going to dissolve our agreement... so you don’t need to speak to me...." I was told dissolve our agreement relationship at the party byKoigasaki, and that we would never to speak to each other like before. I was depressed as I thought that it would be impossible to normally speak to her like this in the future.What on earth is this?

“Huh? This story has nothing to do with our agreement relationship"

"Huh……"

My thinking stops for a moment after hearing Koigasaki. The story writing and the agreement is not related... Certainly, it is as Koigasaki said. I wonder how pessimistic I was. That's right ... Because since we dissolved the agreement relation, I will still be able to talk to Koigasaki...!

"Oh, ah ... ... That's right!"

I got happy with the unusual attitude of Koigasaki, and I answered brightly.

"But since I have never written an original novel at all, I do not understand at all what I should do .... After that I was notified by Nikaido via e-mail asking for drafts of the doujinshi manuscripts in detail for the time being. It is a romance story, a story with "Winter" as a theme.... " Koigasaki makes a troubled face with her arms folded.

"Well ... ... Well, first of all, if you want to write such a character, or want to write such a theme, you should research it thoroughly?"

"Well, yeah ... well ... Yeah, what you say makes sense, if it's that kind of thing Iwant to write about. I will count on your assistance!

Koigasaki seems to be convinced of what I said, and we went back to the classroom. That was good……. Is it still possible to talk to Koigasaki in the future like this...? It felt good talking to her again...Anyway ... why was she avoiding me until a while ago? Was she somehow listening? I could not ask anything. Besides, why is Koigasaki ... ... in my mind now...? Somehow, I feel just a little bit like an old guy, I feel something is different.... Specifically, I cannot say it properly, or... it is somewhat strangely crazy or it is bright or ... ....No, it's probably just my imagination ... Is it? Anyway, just being able to talk as usual was very happy for me, so I’m fine.

Three days later.

I still worried about my troubles every day as to what should I reply to Sakurai.

"Oh, Kashiwada, can you come for a little while?"

As I enter the classroom, Koigasaki called me and we left the classroom and moved to the landing of the stairs.

"Here, I tried to write an idea just like you advised" She passed some notes.

"Oh, ah ... ...."

On the cover of the notebook there is "for novel", when you turn over the first page, it said "original novel idea". There was a heading and under it there was written some items that seem to be the story outline in bullets. "Cute snow fairy and high school student boy fall in love." And, "The prince of a foreign country (super handsome) coming to a girls’ high school where a student became her girlfriend on Christmas day. Or ... or, "Romantic things" "Winter"

Along the themes is a girls' cartoon-like story that seems Koigasaki likes.

"Oh, there are a lot of fantasy-like things, well, which story seems to be wonderful ... ... Which one is your favorite?"

"Well ... ... the prince story!"

"Oh ... ... Well since that is your favorite, why not write about that for the meantime? Ah, it may be easier to write if you wrote a rough draft or start-up transition before you start writing." When I was an aspiring manga artist long ago, I recalled that it was better to write drafts before actually writing cartoons, I remembered what was written in the book on how to draw comic books, and proposed this to Koigasaki. Manga and novel is different, but the same applies to both when creating a story.

"Hmmm ... ... it is certainly easier for writers to write about what they like... then I will show you again when I write the synopsis."

"Oh, that is better"

"... Though ... I also thought about it, but I like your advice of writing about something you care about"

"Well, okay"

I am puzzled…It's rare for her to praise me....

"Did not you try writing novels yourself?"

"Oh, oh ... oh ... well, I wrote a little a while ago ... but I cannot finish it"

When I was a junior high school student, I just wrote a little on my notebook, but I got bored on the way. That's why I'm thinking that Koigasaki is pretty awesome who will write a novel to the last. I can’t tell the person herself because she will be embarrassed.

"I prefer that you help me by advising rather than by you writing"

"Huh ... ... then, isn’t that what I am doing right now?" In the words of Koigasaki, I will become her adviser.

"Work and taste advised by _____" The work to advise the novel.... In other words, am I an editor? I had never thought of that....

"Oh, and there is another thing I wanted to ask you about" Ignoring the confused me, Koigasaki changes the topic.

"You ... you were confessed to by Azu-chan, weren’t you?"

"…………Huh?" I was so surprised that I could not say anything because I did not expect her to know about it. How did she know this...?

"I asked Azu-chan, you haven’t replied yet, what are you doing?" Koigasaki gave a serious look. Because of this, I cannot read what she is thinking at all.

"Well, what shall I do...?”

Koigasaki looks at me seriously without diverting her eyes from me. Because she is on good terms with Ms. Sakurai, she might have known that Sakurai liked me from before. That is why she worries about Sakurai-san.

"... .... Well ... honestly, since I just dumped by Hasegawa ....I still don’t think that I can go out with others.... "

I could not hide my feelings in front of Koigasak iwho has this serious appearance, and I answered with my honest feelings.

"What is that about……?”

Koigasaki is thinking and whispering…

"Hasegawa and Azuki-chan are different, please think seriously about Azuki-chan and give her a proper answer" Koigasaki raised her face and looked at me with severe eyes, and said such a thing. I was surprised because I did not expect her to say such it in a tough way.

"But Koigasaki ... ...." Certainly ... it may be as what Koigasaki says. But ... still I still do not understand my feelings myself. Do I want to go out with Ms. Sakurai or do I still like Hasegawa ... It would feel bad if I go out with Sakurai without even knowing my feelings.

"Anyhow ... you cannot let her wait for a long time, Azuki has been waiting for a while, so think about Azuki's feelings properly"

"Oh, ah ... ... That's right ..."

Surely, Sakurai is too sweet to be ableto wait a long time for my reply.... Four days has passed since she confessed. Meanwhile Sakurai must have been in a state of excitement for a long time. Even I will feel the same if I was in her position.

After school that day.

As usual I kept silent while Hasegawa is writing the schedule for tomorrow on the blackboard. I can’t help you just by watching.... While looking at it the scene blankly, I thought about my current feelings. My answer to Sakurai’s confession. Eventually ... ... In my feelings, one answer comes out. I don’t even know whether this answer was right or wrong. I sent an e-mail to Sakurai when I came home.

"There is something I want to talk about. Are you free next Saturday or Sunday? "

Sunday.

"Sakurai, sorry for making you wait!"

"Oh, Kashiwada-kun!"

Sakurai and I were meeting at Oshigami station at the afternoon. Sakurai sent a reply that she was free on Sunday so I promised to go out for fun with her on that day. Although I was at a loss as to where I should go, I could not consult with Koigasaki because our agreement relation has been dissolved, and so I checked the places where the girls would have fun on a date on the net. The information said that going to the sky tree is safe so I took up that suggestion. Of course, it is also my first time to come to the sky tree. Although I made preparations, I do not have the confidence to entertain Ms. Sakurai.

"Kashiwada, thank you for inviting me today, this is my first time in the Sky Tree!" Sakurai thanked me with a smile.

"Ah, actually this is also my first time..."

"Okay, then let's have fun today!"

"Oh, ok...."

Sakurai-san casually saved me. I thought that I would not be able to entertain her, so I was relieved to be told that we should have fun. Sakurai - san is such a good child, I noticed.

"Oh, Kashiwada-kun ... ... that’s your birthday gift..."

Sakurai looked at the muffler I was wearing and was a little surprised. Yes ... I was wearing the muffler she gave me for my birthday. It was the first time I used this muffler. After being confessed to... Whenever I look at this muffler, I remember Sakurai and I was worried about how to reply to her confession ... so I could not wear it somehow. However, today I thought that it would be rude to wear the muffler she got for me on our date, so I wore it.

"Oh, yeah ...It's warm, since it's getting cold all at once, it is very useful"

"Really? That was great! I am glad you used it at once!" She said exaggeratedly.

"Wow, the cars look like minicars!” We looked at the outside scenery from the window on the 31st floor of Tokyo Sky Tree. It is expensive to go up to the observation deck and it was said that there is a long line so I decided to compromise by going up to the highest point where we can go for free.

"The scenery from here is beautiful!"

Sakurai who is enjoying the scenery looks happy and I also smile.

"Which way is the school?"

"Well ... which one ... oh, oh, is that it?"

"Well! It is not that close to your house?"

"Eh, that's right? I do not understand it at all ... ..."

"Hehe ... ... Oh, let's check with the GPS of the smartphone!"

When two people are talking brightly like this, it seems ok if nothing else will happen. But, it is no good. Today, I have something to say to Sakurai. For that reason, I came here....

"What shall we do next?"

"Er ... ... Look around the stores, after that, there seems to be a planetarium here and ..."

"Well, the planetarium! I want to go there!"

"The Planetarium, did you say...?

"Yes, yes let's go! Let's go!"

I was puzzled for a moment but I pretend to be fine. Planetarium.....Is that where couples go... isn’t it? Withthatthought, I was surprised for a moment. Two people in the dark, side by side looking at the stars ... what can be more exciting. However, Sakurai does not seem to feel the same, and she has a strange look as well. I am too conscious...that’s me. I wish I could act more naturally.... As the next screening is about to start, I immediately bought tickets.

"What!?”

"No, today ... I invited you to give my thanks to Ms. Sakurai for celebrating my birthday. So ... let me buy for now."

After I purchased the tickets, Sakurai tried to refuse while being embarrassed. After that I said that she will pay a couple of times afterwards, so she stopped resisting.

"Oh, thank you...."

"No, thank you ... when you went with me on my birthday, thank you so much." To my words, she smiled.

We entered the hall and sat side by side in vacant seats.

"............"

As soon as we sat down, we keep silent. It would be funny if you do not feel excited about having a girl sitting close to you. Maybe Sakurai-san is also nervous....? Eventually, the inside of the hall gets dark, and the high-pitched sounds of my chest becomes more intense. I wonder when I last felt that.... Oh, that's right...When I went to see an animated movie with Ms. Sakurai, I felt the same nervous excitement due to our close distance in the dark. At that time, even though I'm playing, I was worried about the case of Gokusaki's Gokon and went over there, I wish.

……Wait. Perhaps, at that time, Ms. Sakurai already told me...? Wow, if that’s the case, I did a terrible thing...! At that time, Sakurai may have told me. I am sure she used a lot of courage. And yet, I let her get away... what a bad guy! I guess that I hurt her deeply at that time. After that, I also felt that Sakurai-san was avoiding me ... ... It is natural that she avoided me because of that. What a fool I am. ...... I can’t afford to hurt her any more. Today is so much fun, I feel like I'm fine as it is, but ... I do not think there is any good reason. After all ... absolutely, it is useless if you do not do it properly. Eventually the screening of the planetarium will start.

"Oh, it is starting…."

“! Yes…"

I am excited hearing her voice near me. I can’t help but admit that I think that Sakurai is attractive not only as a person but also as a girl. ──When I first met her, I thought she was a bad child. But, after knowing about her more, the reasons for Sakurai's attitude, I realized she was really a really good child.... There were so many good things about Sakurai. She is always trying hard, kind and not forgetting to care for others. She thinks in a straight line, and although usually shy, she is bold enough to cosplay, and her cosplay figure is very attractive...I recollect some memories of her I was getting emotional in my memories that when the romantic music of the planetarium played, I was in tears.

"I had never been inside a planetarium, but I was impressed! How about you, Kashiwada?

"... .... Eh! Yes ...I was also impressed...." To be honest, I should have watched it more but because I was not concentrating, I hardly remember the content.

"... ... Kashiwada-kun, what's wrong...?

"Oh no, no ......" Sakurai looks at my dazed face.

"Sakurai, if you do not mind ... can we talk for a little while?"

"Oh ...? ...... Ah... Yes ..."

Sakurai’s face gets red at my words. She guessed that I was about to enter the main subject of today. I felt guilty about Sakurai's expression, but today is the day I have to say something. We looked for a place to speak, went outside and came to a garden called "Dome Garden". Fortunately, few people are there so we were able to speak with privacy. Since some benches were set up, we found a vacant bench.

"Wow, this place is amazing, the sky tree looks so close ... ...."

"Well, that's ... ...." Sakurai's expression is cloudy.

".................."

We sat in silence in the awkward atmosphere for a while. I have to say something to her…. I have to say something…

"Oh, Sakurai-san ..."

"Yes ...!!”

"First... thank you for your confession... You made me very happy ..."

My voice is trembling. Sakurai's face, which was looking at me, looks about to cry. When you see such a beautiful face, it's extra ... ... painful.

"So seriously I... I thought... ...."

"Kashiwada-kun, you...!!" Blocking my words, Sakurai raised a voice.

"……Huh?"

"Well, beyond that ... you cannot say any more ...!!"

Sakurai looks at me with a blank face.

"Sakurai ... ..."

"I am as happy as it is .... I'm happy enough, that I confessed and I've thought Kashiwada liked me...I was worried that Kashiwada might avoid me because of this…that I cannot talk to you anymore…I was worried... " Sakurai's words pierced my heart.

So she is very worried about her confession....

"So today, both of us have been going out happily again ... ... It seems like a dream, I do not need any more." Sakurai's eyes are in tears, yet she still smiles at me.

"So... So…From now on ... can we still be good friends?"

"Saku...Sakurai ..."

Today, Sakurai ... I intended to convey to you my honest feelings. Sakurai-san is attracted to me by a great extent. But ... I have not shed my feelings for Hasegawa yet. So now I still cannot go out with Sakurai ... ... I intended to say so.

Perhaps she may have perceived what I am trying to say. She is crying now because of this. She said that she is happy just being able to be friends with me like this. I still cannot believe it.

This cute girl is suffering and crying at my words. I just thought that I do not want to hurt her any more. Looking at her now crying, that feeling is getting even bigger. I noticed. There is nothing, there is only one method that does not hurt her. There is no other way to ease her sadness. Taking that method, surely she will smile. Besides, I can be happy.

"... Kashiwada-kun...?" I held her hand. I noticed Sakurai-san's hand is trembling. She has a bold behavior that I know is far from ordinary. I thought it was because of her love. I wanted to embrace her. But I did not have that courage, so I just held her hand. I want to make this child happy. For this... there is only one answer. I took a small breath and looked into Sakurai's eyes.

"Sakurai ... ... If you will accept me... Please go out with me"

She was listening to my words, she could hardly believe it, she kept looking at my eyes for a while holding her eyes wide open. Soon she seemed to understand my words at last…

"................................................................................”

Again, big tears fell down from her eyes.

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