MaruMAːMini-minisːSpeak-Kiego

Let's Speak Keigo Night!

Also: Let's not speak Keigo! (It's a pun)

When Gwendal came in, almost running, I was in the wide kitchen of the castle, receiving military training camp cooking lessons. To put it simply it was a "Let's turn you into a master at cooking the typical training camp dinners" lesson.

Men who can cook dinner are pretty cool, that's my mother's opinion. If you ask me, men who can play baseball are way cooler but, that doesn't seem to be the popular public opinion.

If I look at it like from that point of view, Conrad is someone who can cook but in this case, the popular public opinion is different. He himself says "Back in the training camps I could make pretty decent stews", and the soldiers that graduated from military school, all of them, could make stews at about this level.

"That's because when you do it the military way, you doesn't use high quality ingredients. Well... usually the ingredients are gathered locally. The meat you use may be rabbit meat or mouse meat. If you're unskilled you'll make it with no ingredients."

"A curry with no ingredients... wouldn't that just be a soup? And by the way, this curry is white..."

"That's because today I added a lot of goat milk into it. On Earth you also have white curry, right? But the scary part about soldier's food is not its color, but the fact that no matter what type of meat you use, it will taste reasonably good. "

And while I was thinking "Then both of your brothers can make tasty mountain-mice curry?, Gwendal came rushing in.

And as a bonus he said: "Your Majesty"

Lord von Voltaire's "Your Majesty" usually carries a hidden meaning. But today it was different. Today, it seemed like it was spoken out of utter panic.

"What does this mean?! What is this "Speak Keigo Night Order"?! Must the soldiers really follow that order!?

A Speak Keigo Night Order? Is what I wanted to ask. I don't remember giving that order and besides it's still noon , it's not nighttime... But at that time, I had goat meat stewed in wine in my mouth and on top of that Conrad had just asked me "Is it soft already?"

So inevitably I replied : "Yes."

If Conrad would have asked me "Is it still hard?", then my answer would have been "No."

When he heard my positive answer, the color of Gwendal's face changed. No, but it was just a little, just a little.

On the other hand, as soon as his subordinate who was tagging along right behind him heard what I had said, he became very excited.

"See! Look... your Excellency, see? Didn't I tell you? You have to speak to his Majesty using Keigo. Since the higher ranked officers use casual talk all the time, his Majesty came up with this innovative "Speak Keigo Night Order". This wonderful idea has brought all of Shin Makoku's soldiers to tears. That's how moved they were. Of course, I was too."

All of the soldiers, he said. I thought it would be just among the relatives at home. Besides, he changed what I said a little bit.

But I couldn't correct him. This was because once I had completely swallowed the soft meat and my mouth was empty, right at that time......

"This is today's secret ingredient"

I was given a spoon full of fruit. It was a ripened tropical-looking orange fruit that without chewing seemed to melt on your tongue.

That's why when Gwendal, with a frightened face, shouted his question at me; I answered in a way that he misinterpreted.

"You... You don't mean all the soldiers, right?! Like, senior officers and nobles would be exempted of this..."

"Sweet" ( To Gwendal: How naive!)

Whether my thoughts were expressed properly or not, Gwendal was stunned.

"Now, you see, Excellency. Since your Majesty says so, his Excellency has to speak to Gurrier-chan using Keigo too~!"

"Shut up Gurrier, don't meddle ! I'm talking with his Majesty"

"Wrong, Excellency! Keigo, Keigo! You should say "Please do not meddle in this affair", right?

Gwendal was becoming visibly cranky. If you one would have put a kettle on his head, the water would have boiled in a minute.

"That's right! That's right! It's discourteous in the presence of His Majesty the Maou, right? If in the presence of his Majesty all of the soldier's under his command speak to each other as equals, there won't be any discipline or anything, and they'll become noisy fools, and that will be uncomfortable for His Majesty! That's how it is, right your Majesty? You don't want to be uncomfortable right?

His eyes desperately begged me to say "Yes".

But unfortunately at that time, when my mouth finished tasting the fruit that was the secret ingredient, a moderately hot potato entered my mouth...

I'm sorry Gwendal. But because Conrad asked me "Is it hot?", both questions overlapped and I replied:

"Ih okah~" ( To Gwendal: I don't mind.)

Then of course Gwendal couldn't be uncomfortable either?! and while he was appalled, Josak couldn't hide his smile any longer, boasting. It was as if he was saying "So it's settled!"

"And so and so, Excellency~, about that matter involving the vacations..."

And then to top it all off, Gurrier-chan put his hands on both of his superior's shoulders from behind, and he even rested his chin on them. You don't do that when speaking either Keigo or casually.

"Let go! Don't you dare rest... your... Could you not rest your chin on me!?"

"That's not Keigo, that's just expressing one's desire, right?"

Conrad's arm which was slightly touching my shoulders, trembled impatiently. He was desperately trying to hold back his laughter.

Even so, Gwendal somehow managed to keep his dignity, and after clearing his throat a bit, he said the following in a calm voice:

"Please be inclined so as to not rest your chin on me"

"Alright, alright"

That was somewhat expected. With a desolated face he said it uncomfortably, and it was somewhat anticlimactic.

However Josak would drop a ridiculous bomb on him with his next sentence.

Gurrier-chan's shrugged shoulders turned into two open arms, and told his superior Lord von Voltaire the following:

"Stop making such a face, Gwen"

Then something terrible happened. After I swallowed that soft tropical fruit and my mouth was empty, I used the spoon that I had in my hand.

In a comically way, I blew the almost perfectly stewed curry off the spoon.

"Ah... I'm... sorry" (To Gwendal: Chin.. put up with it...)

Conrad, who was holding the dishcloth, bent forward holding his stomach, while his back trembled slightly. Only Josak, who's quick for these things continued:

"So anyways, Gwendal~ I want more days off for the holidays. Because I'm renovating both the store in the capital and the one back at home. I need at least 3 days for each. Ah~! And before the renovations, I have to serve drinks. If you want Gwen, you too can come and visit us, you know? Hey, hey, are you listening to me Gwen?"

It seems he couldn't take it any longer and after his name was called Lord von Voltaire's brain stopped and his body became as stiff as that of a wax model.

But the most surprising thing was when Conrad turned to his brother who was frozen with his mouth open and said:

"Do you want to try some?"

Their night would at some point break into dawn, right?

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