Maria-sama ga Miteru:Volume7 Chapter4

Golden Rose Uproar

Part 1

The newspaper club did it again.

What you ask?

The latest edition of the old reliable "Lillian Kawaraban" was completely filled with a short story by Tsukiyama Minako-sama. The main character's name had been changed slightly, but it was obviously based on Rosa Foetida.

The title was "The Golden Rose," and that's just a Yellow Rose by any other name.

It was absurd enough to make a born-and-raised Tokyoite start quoting Shakespeare.

And it was about "Tory Eniko." Anyone just glancing at the article would read it as Torii Eriko. The disclaimer that it was a "short story" and "fiction", probably a defense against libel claims, was very inconspicuous. Nobody would ever notice it unless it was brought to their attention.

Yumi remembered the words that Rosa Gigantea had spoken during the Yellow Rose Revolution.

– Tsukiyama Minako was better suited to being a novelist than an editor.

That may indeed be true. It wasn't clear how much she knew, but since it had the "short story" disclaimer, there had to be some part of it that was pure speculation. According to Tsutako-san, the newspaper club hadn't received any additional reports. Naturally, they hadn't been given any photos either.

"What's with this artist's impression photograph?"

For the first time in a while, Sachiko-sama vented her anger directly.

"It's probably meant to imitate the scene recreations they do on talk shows. It's fine, sit down Sachiko."

Rosa Chinensis quietly ordered as she sipped her tea.

"Like how they'll show a fake replay streaming in the background when reporting on juvenile crime."

That was Rosa Gigantea. Chiming in as she sat with both arms and legs crossed.

"They do it when broadcasting pictures of the perpetrator or their school is inappropriate. So instead they'll show official documents, or an artist's impression, or the silhouette of an actor unrelated to the matter. Shot from behind or otherwise blurred."

Yoshino-san, an avid watcher of talk shows when she was in hospital, joined in to explain the artist's impression concept. Rei-sama, Shimako-san and even Yumi all nodded, saying, "I see." That left Sachiko-sama on her own.

"That's not what I'd call this."

She thumped the table as she spoke. On it were the copies of the latest edition of the "Lillian Kawaraban" that each of them had brought, making seven in total.

"Look, the photo's taken from behind, but no matter how you look at it, it's Minako-san. You can see her bangs pushed up by the hairband. It all seems very makeshift. However, she's made a huge mistake if she thinks it will fool any of the readers into thinking that that's Rosa Foetida."

"…"

Yumi instinctively looked down. Embarrassingly, not only hadn't she realized that it was Minako-sama, but she'd actually thought that it was Rosa Foetida. So, of the people that had the current edition of the "Lillian Kawaraban," about half of them would probably fall for the optical illusion. After all, even Yumi hadn't been able to see through it.

At any rate, for the first time in a while, the third-years had joined them in the Rose Mansion. After getting a copy of the "Lillian Kawaraban," they had spontaneously assembled after school.

The focal point, Rosa Foetida, was absent.

Yumi had peeked inside her shoe box a little earlier and determined that, at they very least, Rosa Foetida wasn't in the school building.

"It was thoughtless of me."

Rosa Chinensis muttered as she looked up at the ceiling.

"I never imagined the newspaper club would move like this."

At this, Sachiko-sama raised her eyes once more and said:

"Onee-sama, you knew of this!?"

"Somewhat. Just that she was going out on dates with different men every night."

A scratching, scrunching sound came from somewhere. Yumi had thought it was someone grinding their teeth, but it turned out to be Sachiko-sama wringing her handkerchief.

(This is bad … )

Come on, Sachiko-sama. Get your anger under control.

(Now then, this is a pickle.)

That it was the build up to an explosion made it all the more scary.

"If you knew about this, why didn't you do something?"

Scrunch, scrunch, scrunch.

"I thought I'd wait and see what happened. I didn't want to cause a disturbance. If I'd flown off the handle, like you just did, Sachiko, it would have complicated the situation."

Had she noticed the scraping or not? Rosa Chinensis seemed to be deliberately choosing words that would provoke Sachiko-sama.

"Yeah, good point."

Fanning the flames, Rosa Gigantea recklessly agreed.

Scrunch, scrunch.

"Pardon me, I too … uh"

Unable to endure a moment longer, Yumi raised her hand. A voluntary admission. There was a ticking time-bomb sitting right in front of her that Yumi couldn't defuse, and she couldn't just sit there and wait for it to go off. In that case, she might as well move the hand of the clock forward herself.

"Even you – "

The focus of her anger had shifted. Sachiko-sama's face looked demonic, like a Hannya mask.

"I'm sorry, onee-sama. I thought about discussing it with you, but you're … "

"I'm what?"

"How can I put this, it felt like it would be an unpleasant topic with you, men and women, their relationships, that sort of thing."

Scrunch, scrunch … rip.

"Unpleasant? Unpleasant you say?"

Sachiko-sama's white handkerchief had finally given way, and she hurled it down onto the table.

"Why can't you see that finding out about it afterward like this is hundreds of times more unpleasant!"

"Hyaa"

Finally, the explosion. Yumi was at her wits' end, but the two third-years were making snide comments, like, "Ah, there she goes."

"So, what? Because I can't stand men, you hid this from me?"

Sachiko-sama picked up her discarded handkerchief and started wringing it again. Yumi had no excuse for her own actions, but there was one thing she could say clearly. That handkerchief had done nothing wrong.

"All of you, you're mocking me – "

Yumi was about to say that it wasn't like that when Shimako-san raised her hand and said:

"I didn't know anything about this, though."

Then Yoshino-san jumped in with, "Me neither."

"So Yumi-san's vague, rambling talk about assisted dating, that was about Rosa Foetida?"

"Assisted dating? Stop already."

Rei-sama was shivering.

"Well, just from reading "The Golden Rose," those sort of suspicions are inevitable."

Rosa Gigantea seemed to be reveling in the current situation, although it was hard to tell whether those were her true feelings or a facade.

"Hmm."

In the end, Sachiko-sama was cheered up by seeing that the knowledge had only spread to those in the Red Rose family, thus limiting the damage. Being the only one not to know would have been an unforgivable affront to her pride.

"Setting that aside, if this story really is modeled after my onee-sama – "

Rei-sama hung her head in shame, looking like she was about to cry. With that, the mood turned somber. In many ways, the shock was probably greatest for Rosa Foetida's petit soeur, Rei-sama.

"Don't worry, it's labeled fiction, so most of it's pure speculation."

Rosa Chinensis reached across the table and patted Rei-sama on the shoulder.

"But you don't know that for sure."

Like she was praying to the statue of Maria-sama, Rei-sama clung on to Rosa Chinensis.

"Of course I do. I can point out the many mistakes in "The Golden Rose.""

Her chest puffed out with pride, Rosa Chinensis was always reliable.

With that, everyone's gaze turned back to the pages of the "Lillian Kawarban."

Synopsis of "The Golden Rose"

Approaching her graduation from high-school, the "Golden Rose," Tory Eniko, felt a hole in her heart. To supplement her study of society, she took a part-time job at a Date Club. All her partners were adults, and they introduced Eniko to a world she'd never known.

Baseball player A took her on an all-night road trip. Surgeon B took her to an art gallery, while Model C took her to an exclusive, hidden restaurant.

But as she changed men every night just like she changed clothes, Eniko started to feel hollow.

Then who should appear but a new teacher at Eniko's school, who had only recently graduated from college, Teacher D. He found Eniko aimlessly wandering the streets at night, and gently admonished her to return home. Hearing his words, Eniko's eyes were opened and she returned to her former life, realizing that what she had been searching for was Teacher D all along.

Eniko decided to propose to Teacher D on the day of her graduation …

" – Well, that's the short version anyway. It's a pretty weak story. But if you read it thinking it's modeled on someone you know, you can't put it down."

Rosa Chinensis laughed sarcastically.

"So which part of it's wrong then? Don't stop there, please tell us."

Sachiko-sama looked sullen as she urged Rosa Chinensis to continue.

"Oh, calm down. Yumi-chan, do you still have those things from before in your pocket?"

"Ah."

Things from before that were still in her pocket? Well, of course there was her handkerchief … but obviously that's not what she meant.

"Hand them over."

" … Here."

Yumi obediently handed over "those things from before," the photographs. Rosa Chinensis took them and spread them out over the table.

"These photos were all taken by one of Yumi-chan's classmates, Takeshima Tsutako-san."

"Way to go, Camera-chan."

Rosa Gigantea whistled.

"Sei, quit fooling around."

" … Sorry, continue."

Rosa Chinensis joined her hands together in a display of forbearance and continued.

"There's five men pictured here, right? Based on their appearance, if we were to name them – "

Rosa Chinensis lined up the photos A, B and C. Interestingly, they matched the description of the characters from "The Golden Rose" exactly.

"So, Teacher D is?"

What was left over was a balding, overweight, middle-aged man and the bear-man.

"At the very least, neither of them are teachers at our school. Nor do they look like they've recently graduated from college."

Everyone agreed, "That's true."

"So, what that means is … "

"The second half's completely made up."

"Then the first half is true?"

Once more, Rei-sama looked like she was about to cry.

"No, it's mostly speculation. By the way, Rosa Gigantea."

Rosa Chinensis set the photo with the bear-man to one side before asking.

"Have a look at these four photos, do you notice anything?"

"These four … ah."

"Right?"

"I see."

Rosa Chinensis and Rosa Gigantea's eyes met and they nodded. And then.

"Third-year chrysanthemum class, Torii Eriko-san please report to the educational guidance room immediately."

Could be heard coming through the school PA system, after the cheery intro music.

"I repeat, third-year chrysanthemum – "

Was this a repeat of the "Forest of Thorns?" This time around Rosa Foetida was being summoned to the educational guidance room.

"No way. Don't tell me the guidance teacher took this story for the truth?"

"That can't be."

Hahaha.

Nervous laughter echoed around the Rose Mansion.

But nobody there thought it was completely unrelated.

"What should we do?"

"We have to make an appearance, right?"

The seven young girls, none of whom were called Torii Eriko, stood up simultaneously. Just like the seven samurai.

"Yumi. Don't forget the photographs."

Sachiko-sama said on the way out the door, and Yumi nodded and gave her a thumbs-up.

Reading you loud and clear.

Part 2

Outside the educational guidance room, Tsukiyama Minako had turned into a ninja.

"President. About the current situation."

A voice called to her from behind.

"It's brilliant. No, it's even better than that."

She answered without turning around, her ear against the wall even though she couldn't hear anything inside. There was always a shortcut to finding out anything. With that in mind, she'd half expected her ninja-like hearing to work. Of course, she knew that the room was soundproof.

"Even better?"

"Four men involved in the matter have shown up. I wonder if they were called as witnesses."

Minako explained, still maintaining her ninja persona.

She'd first caught sight of the rumored group of men when they adjourned from the staff room to the educational guidance room. As soon as she caught a glimpse of them, Minako instinctively raised her fist to the heavens. They were all there, like they'd just stepped out of the pages of her short story. – It was perfect.

"Four men, you mean A, B, C and D, right?"

"Probably not D."

Right. The sole flaw was that there was one man who hadn't been described in the story. But he could always make an appearance as another customer of Eriko's, or rather Eniko's, in the sequel to "The Golden Rose."

"Why wouldn't D be there?"

The voice asked, right beside her ear.

"You know."

That was as far as Minako got in her explanation before she felt a chill run down her spine. Unnoticed, she had been surrounded by an uncomfortable atmosphere.

"That's … "

Timidly, she turned around.

"That's because D's someone you made up for your story, right Minako-san?"

"Ulp."

It was enough to make her scream. Lying in wait, right next to her, was Rosa Chinensis. Minako's extreme focus had backfired, as she hadn't been able to tell that the voice didn't belong to a club member.

"How do you intend to make amends for this disturbance?"

"Make amends, what ever do you mean? Please, don't look so angry, Rosa Chinensis. I simply – "

As she made her excuses, Minako searched for a way out, but she'd already been completely surrounded by the Rose families. There was nothing more she could do.

"You simply published a short story, is that what you were going to say? Surely you can't believe that that's the end of it?"

"That's all there is."

"In your story, "The Golden Rose," the protagonist has a part-time job at a date club, right?"

"Ah, … yeah."

"Although I suppose it is of minimal concern to your so-called school newspaper, I applaud your decision not to depict it as an 18+ venture."

"Ah, I thought self-restraint was warranted for the time being."

In truth, that was how Minako had initially written it, but she hadn't wanted to open up another avenue for Rosa Foetida to complain, so she'd abandoned it. The way she wrote a short story with all those restrictions, it was like she was a professional writer. It had been a bit exciting.

"But."

Rosa Chinensis caught her eye before continuing.

"You may think that all you've done is provide your readers with a humorous story, but you should realize that the end result of your misleading representation would be a grave insult to the honor of a certain individual."

"Uh."

Thump.

"The date club clearly had sexual overtones. Nor can you claim to be unaware that students have dropped out of school immediately after being called to the educational guidance room."

The quickening thump of Minako's heartbeat wasn't because Rosa Chinensis had grabbed her shoulder. It was because she was only now realizing how scandalous an act she had committed.

Certainly, she'd written the humorous story to enliven the "Lillian Kawaraban." But that didn't mean that Rosa Foetida wouldn't resent it. Especially if it caused her to drop out of school.

"What should I do?"

All the strength had left her body. Just as it looked as though she was about to fall to her knees, Rosa Gigantea propped her up, saying, "Get it together."

"Announce to the entire school that Torii Eriko is completely unrelated to "The Golden Rose," and, if necessary, publicly apologize to those concerned."

Minako received the harsh pronouncement of Rosa Chinensis.

"But, if all of it is fiction … "

Say Minako testified that it was all fiction, but the school kept investigating and, little by little, it came out that something like what she'd written in the short story had taken place –

"It's fiction. If not, there's a crucial mistake with your data."

"A mistake with my data?"

Those words were unforgivable. Minako was about to argue, but Rosa Chinensis snapped her fingers.

"Perfect. Let's go inside."

All present entered the educational guidance room.

Naturally, they knocked first.

Part 3

Knock knock.

Rosa Chinensis knocked on the door to the educational guidance room.

After about ten seconds, the door was opened from inside.

"Oh my. What kind of disturbance were you girls involved in?"

The sister in charge of student guidance asked, her eyes wide with surprise.

"There's something we have to say in relation to the Torii Eriko-san matter."

Normally, students wouldn't involve themselves unnecessarily, but Rosa Chinensis had marched to the educational guidance room, head held high, and did what had to be done. Yumi watched on with admiration from her position near the back of the line.

"Something you have to say?"

"In short, a defense. We've brought a witness along too."

"A witness?"

The sister looked momentarily puzzled, but then Rosa Gigantea gave the "witness" a pat on the back, forcing her forwards.

"I-I'm Tsukiyama Minako."

Not having had time to prepare herself, Minako-sama was still flustered when she introduced herself.

"Tsukiyama Minako-san … ahh, the head of the newspaper club. I was just thinking about summoning you."

She was beckoned inside. At that point, Rosa Chinensis inquired, "Is it alright if we accompany her?"

"Who do you mean by "we"?"

The sister looked over the entire group assembled outside the educational guidance room then asked:

"Surely you don't mean everyone?"

"Yes."

Rosa Chinensis replied, a serious look on her face.

"That's quite a lot of people."

One, two, three, four … all up there were six students arranged behind Rosa Chinensis.

"Please. We're all friends."

If it had just been the two Roses, they may have been allowed to enter easily. But Rosa Chinensis was not compromising. Yumi and the others watched on in fascination, relying completely on Rosa Chinensis.

"Wait here for a moment."

As the sister was about to withdraw from the entrance momentarily, to consult with the teachers inside, Rosa Chinensis drew alongside Minako-sama and grabbed her hand. The sister smiled wryly when she saw this, as she hadn't intended to use that opportunity to take Minako-sama along with her.

"You're a sneaky one."

Rosa Gigantea whispered into Rosa Chinensis' ear.

"So there's a fool here who would surrender their trump card and get turned away at the door, then?"

"Nobody said that."

Hohoho. The two Roses traded sly laughs, like conniving courtiers from a historical drama. It didn't really matter either way, but they were laying it on a bit thick.

"Alright. Come inside, all of you."

The sister returned, her discussion finished, and opened the door wide.

"However, you are not to speak unless asked to directly. Understood?"

The conniving courtiers, their subordinates, and everyone else responded like good girls, saying, "Yes ma'am."

"Pardon me."

As they all filed in one-by-one, the first thing they did was confirm who was actually in the room. Yumi stood next to Yoshino-san, and her eyes sparkled as she surveyed the line-up.

The educational guidance room wasn't as small as the club rooms, but it certainly wasn't spacious either.

The first thing that caught her eye was the school principal and the third-year chrysanthemum class home room teacher seated next to each other on a sofa. Seated facing them was an unknown middle-aged man and Rosa Foetida. Three younger men stood, perhaps due to lack of chairs, behind the sofa.

"Eriko, you were at school?"

Rosa Gigantea called out, forgetting her promise to not speak unless spoken to.

"Yeah, and didn't that turn into a royal pain."

Rosa Foetida wasn't in her own world today, but she was sulking.

"I was on my way home, and had made it to the back gate when that announcement was made. Thanks to this lot, I had to head back to the main building."

She angled her chin at the four men when she said, "this lot."

As she looked at the faces in turn, Yumi was surprised. Until now, they had all been resting in the photographs in the pocket of her school uniform.

The well-built man that had been sitting in a deck-chair by the hotel pool.

The serious looking man who had been escorting Rosa Foetida to the platinum seating area of a concert hall.

The tall, slender man who had been picking out matching high-class suits with Rosa Foetida.

Identifying them just by their physique and facial expression probably wouldn't offend anyone. And, in that regard, they matched the descriptions of A, B, and C from "The Golden Rose."

"The four of them stormed into the staff room and started causing an uproar. Unacceptable."

When Rosa Foetida shrugged her shoulders, the man beside her trembled. He was neither A, B, nor C. He was the middle-aged man from the high-class Japanese restaurant.

"Unacceptable? That's what your behavior was."

He shot up, his patience apparently reaching its limit. – Then, Rosa Chinensis, who was standing right there, held out her right hand and said:

"It's been a while, sir."

(Huh?)

"You look like you've had a rough day today."

Rosa Gigantea added, and "sir" smiled, nodding slightly.

"Ohh, Youko-chan and Sei-kun."

(Huhhh?)

Yumi's mind was reeling. Apparently Rosa Chinensis and Rosa Gigantea both knew this man too.

"I'm a mess, I know. I was in the middle of a meeting at the shopping center when the call came, so I didn't have time to change into something better."

Loose knit sweater and jeans. The jacket he was wearing over the top with the "OO Shopping Center" logo looked a bit more stylish.

"And the boys?"

"What could I do? I was at work when dad called, saying, "Eriko-chan's in trouble.""

A was wearing a gridiron uniform, not a baseball one.

"Same here."

B was wearing a white coat, like a surgeon or something … tough break, Minako-sama.

"Same."

C looked like he'd come straight from a photo-shoot, still wearing expensive clothes and grumbling, "I wonder if they'll charge me for these." On closer inspection, Yumi recalled having seen him in a TV drama.

" – so there they are, Eriko's father and brothers."

Rosa Chinensis introduced them.

"Huh!?"

Minako-sama, Sachiko-sama, Rei-sama, Shimako-san, Yoshino-san and Yumi, six people in total, all cried out in surprise. Her father and brothers. So even if she had been going out on what looked like dates with them, they were family, so there was no problem at all. Quite the contrary, in fact, she was out having fun with a chaperone – .

"See, I told you there'd be a misunderstanding. All you guys, with no family resemblance, vying for my attention. And on top of that, you joined in too, dad. This family, it's something else."

Rosa Foetida said, fed up, and her father and three older brothers all protested immediately.

"Why are you saying such harsh words, Eriko-chan?"

Rosa Foetida's father said, then A, the oldest brother chimed in too.

"You never used to be such a cold child."

Lamenting.

"You're our family's idol."

"Don't snuff out the flame in our hearts."

Next was B, the middle brother, followed by C the youngest, all adding their bit.

Their appearances were all different, but they all seemed to share a weakness for Rosa Foetida. Almost lovestruck even.

Watching on, Yumi thought that it was indeed "something else." To prepare such gorgeous dates for your daughter or younger sister wasn't really something that the average family would do.

"Basically, it's like this."

Rosa Foetida's explanation was as follows:

Eighteen years ago, a single daughter was born into the Torii family. Coming after three boys, the long-awaited daughter was well cared for. There was an age gap between the boys and her, so when her brothers got jobs and found themselves with money to spare, they bought her things she wanted as gifts, and took her to interesting places. Initially everyone was fine with this, but then the brothers started monopolizing her time with their invitations. Probably trying to outdo each other, the money flowed like water.

"Then one day, mom couldn't watch it anymore and she let fly."

A monthly limit was set on the amount of money they could spend, and the amount of time they could spend with their little sister. In order to return a degree of normalcy to Eriko-chan's life.

"Since the beginning of winter, I'd been using my exams as an excuse to turn down all their invitations. But ever since the results were published, I've had the overcrowded schedule of a pop idol."

Her brothers had been saving up their time and money. And then her father joined in too –

"My mom lied to Yumi-chan because she was too embarrassed to tell the truth. That the grown-up men of the family were going out on dates with her daughter. Even going so far as to get her a hotel room, in order to monopolize her time. Because of that, every day I've been showing up at school sleep deprived."

"But, I just wanted to watch videos with you without anyone interrupting."

"What's wrong with wanting to see the best night skyline from a high floor with your younger sister?"

"If I'd thought you'd have enjoyed a late night drive, I would have taken you back home."

"An all-night monopoly … "

They were all saying pretty much the same thing. The four men of the Torii family were all squirming.

"My brothers are all such sis-cons that they can't get girlfriends either."

Rosa Foetida said, cutting right through them.

Sis-con. The abbreviation of sister complex. Basically, in love with their sister.

"What a horrible thing to say."

"Even though it's the older brother's duty to protect his younger sister until she gets married."

"No, not just until she's married, we always have to get along well as a family."

The brothers had reached the point where they were trying to use tears to get their way.

"I think that's quite enough."

The school principal intervened in the conversation. Probably deciding that this family feud / pseudo-lovers quarrel wasn't going to be resolved any time soon.

"There had been various reports made to the school that Eriko-san was out on the town at night with various men. But we realized they were all members of her family, so we were not intending to make a fuss about it. Naturally, we regret the manner in which this rumor was spread by the school newspaper. Perhaps we have not been as scrupulous in our guidance as we should have."

At the mention of the school newspaper, the head of the newspaper club, Minako-sama, bowed her head and said, "My deepest apologies."

"As you can see, the newspaper club recognizes this too."

The school principal said, leaving implied the question, "Is there a problem?" So apparently the school hadn't summoned them here, instead the Torii males had proactively invaded.

"So then, principal, are you saying that everything in this newspaper is a lie? While they've obviously made a huge mistake in claiming that we're date club customers, they have captured the finer details of our physical appearances."

Father Torii placed the paper, crumpled from being grasped tightly, on the table and tapped it. Looking closely, it was the latest edition of the "Lillian Kawaraban," published that day. No. On even closer inspection, it was actually a copy, or a fax, of the paper, and not the real thing.

"At the very least, I'm sure the second half is all fiction. There's nobody like Teacher D employed at this school."

Hearing the words of the school principal, Minako-sama nodded furiously. It looked like it had all become too much for her, and she was lost for words.

"You're not all just trying to protect him, are you?"

Rosa Foetida's father looked searchingly at all the teachers and students assembled there. Brave of him to capture those who dwelt in Maria-sama's garden, as Lillian's Girls Academy was also known, and accuse them of being liars. Especially since there were two nuns in that very room.

"They're not about to start lying to the vice-president of the PTA."

Rosa Chinensis said, smiling, after raising her hand.

"If you have any doubts, you could take a look in the high-school and middle-school staff rooms. The elementary school and kindergarten are a bit further afield, but if you so desire, I could guide the way."

Rosa Gigantea added, her hand raised as well. Her pose saying, "I know you didn't ask me, but it's better that I spoke up." Was she honestly trying to abide by the instructions that the sister had given them when they entered the room, that they should only speak when asked to directly? No, earlier she'd spoken up on her own.

"Mm …"

Rosa Foetida's father faltered. He could have dug his heels in and said, "Lead on," but that wasn't an easy option to take. Even if he wanted to, visiting all the staff rooms in the entire school would be quite a task.

"Like I said, there is no such person."

"But, Eriko."

"While she may work in the school office, dad's cousin's daughter, one of your distant cousins, still thought it best to intervene and send the fax."

(Huh? The school office?)

It was true. Taking a closer look at the paper from earlier, the words, "Lillian's Girls Academy – Office," appeared in small print at the bottom of the page.

"So there's no truth to what's written here, then?"

"Truth? Of what?"

"Ahh … umm … well. Tell me that you're not in love with anyone."

Mumble, mumble. It was a topic that Rosa Foetida's father seemed uncomfortable talking about. Looking at it from the daughter's point of view, Yumi thought it was something she wouldn't want to be asked either, but that didn't stop her from listening in. In a way, it was equivalent to replacing the male relatives.

"I am."

Rosa Foetida announced clearly, wiping away her father's earlier inarticulateness.

"In love with someone."

"Huh?"

Rang out, but it wasn't from Rosa Foetida's father. Nor her brothers. It came from the students, all except Rosa Chinensis, Yumi and Minako-sama.

The males of the Torii family were unable to respond to such a shocking declaration, and appeared to be on the verge of fainting. The teachers were – alas, Yumi didn't have enough time to complete her observation.

"Wh-who is it?"

Rei-sama asked Rosa Foetida, not raising her hand for permission to speak.

The "Ronin Umbrella Maker" floated into Yumi's mind. The person that Rosa Foetida wanted to marry. If she was in love, it could only be with him.

"Yumi-chan, let me borrow those photos."

Quick as a flash, Rosa Gigantea had thrust her hand into the pocket of Yumi's skirt.

"Wah"

"Sor-ry!"

Rosa Gigantea pulled out the entire bundle, and thumbed through the photos one-by-one until she found the one she was looking for, then held it in front of Rosa Foetida's face.

"Him?"

It was the photograph that Yumi had expected. The one at a zoo, with Rosa Foetida looking at a bear of a man eating a roasted sweet potato.

"Oh my. This is a really good photo. May I have it?"

Rosa Foetida asked, looking at what Rosa Gigantea held in her hand. Rosa Gigantea simply said, "Well … " and turned to Yumi. Stumped, Yumi's only response was, "I'll have to ask Tsutako-san." Since Tsutako-san had said that she could throw it away, it could probably be considered Yumi's property, but she thought it was better to get the photographer's consent.

– But that was completely straying from the main topic.

"Eriko, answer me. Has this man seduced you?"

Rosa Foetida's father asked, his blood pressure seemingly on the rise. Yumi was starting to worry if he was going to be alright.

"Yes or no."

Foolishly he stood up, but the brothers behind him made him sit back down again. His middle-age spread was getting in his way, quite the inconvenience.

"This is the man I love, but I haven't been seduced."

"Ah – "

The four Torii men all made a similar pose, hands on their heads. Like a line of Munch's scream. A simple yes or no probably would have been less shocking.

"Torii-san, how do you know this gentleman?"

The school principal asked.

"A few days ago, I ran into him at the zoo. He knows a world that I've never seen."

"A few days!?"

The brothers exclaimed, and the principal soothed them saying, "Now now."

"So, what kind of person is he?"

The oldest brother carried on, taking over from his father who had lost the will to argue. In his gridiron uniform, he was the very image of fighting spirit.

"If you're asking what he does for a living, then he's a teacher at Hanadera. But his primary occupation is a romanticist."

"What's a romanticist?"

The three men seemed to have mistaken it for a new type of profession. Like a hair stylist or a makeup artist.

"Does he make umbrellas, by any chance?"

Minako-sama asked suddenly. The four men had seemed pleased to hear he was a teacher, and were getting a bit rowdy.

"No matter how much I think about it, I still don't understand the phrase "Ronin Umbrella Maker." Rosa Foetida, you said to Yumi-san, "I want to be the wife of a ronin umbrella maker," right?"

She'd just exposed the fact that she'd been eavesdropping on their conversation. But Minako-sama was completely oblivious to that.

"Wife?"

The middle brother cried out. The way he'd singled out the important keyword while ignoring the rest highlighted his natural attention to detail.

At any rate, what the heck's a ronin umbrella maker romanticist … Inside her innocent head, Yumi just couldn't picture the bear-man with a sword on his back winding colorful paper around an umbrella.

"Eriko-chan, you … you've gone and got engaged to this … this unemployed teacher who makes umbrellas to survive?"

The brothers minds appeared to be emptying too. What happened to the explanation that he worked at Hanadera?

"Ronin umbrella maker was just a figure of speech."

Rosa Foetida shrugged, her hands reaching up around her shoulders.

"So what you meant by "a ronin umbrella maker's wife", was that you wanted to suffer through life's hardships with him?"

Rosa Chinensis asked, without raising her hand for permission to speak. The sister's warning appeared to be going almost completely unheeded.

"Suffer life's hardships… ? Yeah, that sort of thing."

"Hardships?"

Rosa Foetida's father stirred from his slumber. A fresh breath of life had entered his withered body.

"I won't allow it."

The breath of life entered all the nooks and crannies of his body, extending his index finger towards Rosa Foetida.

"We raised you carefully, lovingly, my daughter, to keep you as far away from hardship as possible. What of all your parents' efforts?"

"Your efforts, papa? You mean, the way you spoiled me?"

"Teachers, please talk some sense into my daughter. Tell her she has to give up this man and stay in school."

Even when asked directly, the nuns seemed reluctant to intervene in this father/daughter quarrel.

"That's not really … "

"Yeah."

Rosa Foetida wasn't actually working at a date club. She was just seeing a guy. That wasn't a reason for her to drop out of school, much less be expelled.

While it was an old school, established during the Meiji era, it was now attended by modern girls. They would riot if there was any nonsense.

"Mr Torii. Right from the beginning, the school has had no problem with the actions of your daughter."

See.

The school principal seemed greatly perplexed. First of all, this disturbance had been started by Rosa Foetida's father and brothers, and not by any action the school had taken.

"Fine. Even if you won't say anything, I'm sure my daughter's eyes will be opened. She'll have to learn what happens when she ignores her father's advice and runs off into the arms of some man. That she won't be able to graduate from high-school, or attend the university that she worked so hard to get in to. When she comes running back in tears, it will be far too late. Of course, her allowance will stop too."

Oh, now come the threats. Still, that was her father's trump card. It was tough for a child when their funds were cut off.

"What do you think?"

Rosa Chinensis quietly asked Rosa Gigantea.

"It's not looking good. He doesn't understand Eriko's personality at all."

The pair nodded, both in agreement.

"Opposing her is only going to spur her on even more."

"And pressure from parents is one way to turn a child rebellious."

Basically, the opinion of Rosa Foetida's closest friends was that the excessive interference coupled with Rosa Foetida's personality meant this approach was likely to be counterproductive.

"At any rate, bring this man here. I'll have a few choice words with him, and tell him to leave my daughter alone."

"Don't be absurd."

There was no way a daughter would happily introduce her boyfriend to a father who was dead-set on breaking them up.

"Where is he? Hanadera Academy?"

Rosa Foetida's father stood up. The three brothers followed behind him, like Suke-san and Kaku-san, as they headed towards the door … Although there was one too many, it was like Mito Kōmon and his two samurai heading out to confront some evildoer.

"Please don't make any more of a disturbance than you already have."

Rosa Foetida chased after the line of nobles. If they marched over to Hanadera Academy, it would become a major incident embroiling two high-schools.

Just then.

"Umm, I was just stopping by."

The door opened, and who should appear but the bear-man.

"Y-y-you."

Rosa Foetida's father and brothers could only point and stammer at the enemy's unexpected invasion.

However.

"… How?"

Rosa Foetida herself was the most surprised of all.

"I'm not sure I understand what's going on exactly, but – "

He looked back over his shoulder and there was Takeshima Tsutako-san.

"I was on my way home when I saw four of the five men show up at school, so I was feeling sorry for the one that had been left out."

Tsutako-san hadn't known that the bear was really a teacher at Hanadera Academy, so she went back to the area around the zoo where she'd taken the photo, and accosted him as soon as she saw him. Saying only that there had been a serious incident with Torii Eriko-san.

"Ah, sorry, I haven't introduced myself. I'm a science teacher at the neighboring Hanadera Academy high-school. My name's Yamanobe."

Yamanobe-sensei turned towards the people in the room and bowed deeply. His beard covered most of his face, making it hard to tell his age, but he looked neater than the image in the photograph. He seemed sincere, which helped form a good impression.

"You, how dare you take our Eriko – "

Rosa Foetida's oldest brother looked like he was about to hit Yamanobe-sensei, but the father and two other brothers used all their strength to hold him back.

The oldest brother looked like he wanted to kill the man in front of him, and the rest of the family couldn't overlook an assault happening right there. And what would happen if a gridiron player really did punch someone? – Normal people were easily broken.

"Umm, what on earth is going on?"

Yamanobe-sensei didn't appear to understand anything about the situation he was involved in. Even when he was nearly attacked, he just looked on in confusion.

Then Rosa Foetida took a step forward and said:

"Yamanobe-san, would you take my hand in marriage?"

Part 4

Of course, the entire room fell silent at that.

It was unprecedented. Had a female student ever proposed to a man in Lillian's educational guidance room before?

No.

Well, maybe someone had, but at the very least it had never been spoken about.

"Bet you a can of coffee Mr Yamanobe loses."

"I won't take that bet. The only outcome I can see is a complete defeat for Mr Yamanobe."

"Hmm."

Rosa Gigantea and Rosa Chinensis were again whispering to each other.

As for everyone else.

"…"

They were all holding their breath, waiting to see how Yamanobe-sensei would respond.

Dun-dun-dun-dun.

The music they used on quiz shows when waiting for contestants to answer reverberated through Yumi's mind.

The final answer that Yamanobe-san from Tokyo selected was –

"No."

"Aww."

Amid the disappointed sighs of the female high-school students:

"Yes!"

The male members of the Torii family raised their fists in triumph. Rosa Foetida's father instinctively shook Yamanobe-sensei's hand and said, "Thank-you." But it was a bit early for celebrations.

"Why not?"

Rosa Foetida, doing a complete 180 and transforming into a tragic heroine, sought an explanation from the prince.

"Why not?"

The prince, Yamanobe-sensei, blocked the question. Back to Rosa Foetida.

"Is it because of the ten year difference in our ages? Because you still haven't forgotten your deceased wife? Because you haven't got any savings? Because you spend all your pay on dinosaur fossil digs? Because you want to be free to head overseas?"

She laid out all the reasons she could think of. As a result, Yumi at least got a feel for the sort of person that Yamanobe-sensei was.

Like, ahh, so he's still in his twenties.

And, it's so sad that his wife died.

And, while she wasn't entirely sure, it seemed like "romanticist" referred to his passion for dinosaur fossils. She didn't really understand the connection, but apparently that meant he went overseas frequently, and that was why he didn't have any savings.

With everyone watching on with bated breath, Yamanobe-sensei stood up straight and informed them:

"Those are all good reasons, but the most important one is that I don't love you."

!

If this were a comic book, an exclamation mark would have appeared beside everyone's head.

"No, let me rephrase that. I've never looked at you in a romantic manner. So, you see."

Yamanobe-sensei paused for a breath.

"Counting today, we've only met three times. We haven't even spent three hours together."

Budum-ching.

If this were a comedy show, the walls would be blown down by the force of the joke, definitely. Or it'd be the final panel of a comic strip.

"Excuse me. We've spent three and a half hours together. Although it may seem shorter to you, since you spent so much time looking at the elephant."

Three hours or three and a half hours. There wasn't much of a difference either way, Rosa Foetida.

"Eriko was with you, but you spent all your time looking at an elephant? How rude."

(Hey, hey, papa Torii. Weren't you just feeling grateful to Yamanobe-sensei for turning down your daughter's proposal? On top of that, you missed the main point.)

Not having permission to speak, Yumi busied herself adding color commentary in her head as she listened on.

"Poor little Eriko."

"Let the warmth of your family heal your wounded heart."

"We'll smooth things over with papa and get your allowance reinstated."

Rosa Foetida's brothers surrounded and consoled her, as she hung her head. Those sibling relationships really did look a bit questionable.

"I understand."

Rosa Foetida said, raising her head.

"I'm glad you understand."

The corner of Yamanobe-sensei's eyes drooped, showing his relief.

The daughter's faint yearning ended in a broken heart, but with the love of her family she was able to find her own happiness, and they all lived happily ever after. – Well, that was the ending that everyone thought they were heading towards, but then:

"But I don't accept it."

"Wha!?"

Yamanobe-sensei's voice was turned inside out.

"When you said you didn't love me, that's because you don't really know me, right?"

"Huh?"

"So, please, get to know me. I wanted to know all about you, so I kept asking you all those questions, but now I realize that that was far too one-sided. I'd like you to learn more about me, even if it only happens gradually. After that, if we find we love each other, we can get married then."

Thinking about it, Rosa Foetida wouldn't meekly withdraw. Opposing her would only spur her on. The rejection would just make her persevere until he said he loved her.

"That sounds fine. I concur."

The school principal said, glancing at the silent homeroom teacher.

"It is not fine."

Rosa Foetida's father and brothers voices mixed as they expressed their disapproval.

"If you keep being so strict, sooner or later your daughter will start sneaking around, seeing men behind your back. Would you prefer that?"

"No, that wouldn't be good."

"And I'm certain Yamanobe-sensei will conduct himself honorably."

The school principal was incredible. The way she skillfully handled this touchy subject.

"Mm... But what about him … what does he think?"

Rosa Foetida's father glanced at "him" as he stumbled over his words. And so, the gaze of everyone in the room fell on Yamanobe-sensei.

"Yamanobe-sensei?"

Rosa Gigantea sidled up to him and whispered.

"You'll be better off if you agree to this. Eriko's nickname is The Hound – if you run, she will chase you."

Eriko the Hound? Who has ever called her that?

You, Rosa Gigantea are Sei, Queen of Lies.

"I, I understand. If we can do this as friends."

Yamanobe-sensei said while writing his address and phone number on a piece of paper torn from a notebook, then handed this to Rosa Foetida's father, saying, "A pleasure to make your acquaintance." He was taking this seriously, as the school principal had anticipated.

At any rate, it looked like Rosa Foetida and Yamanobe-sensei would be openly going out together. Although it was a long road indeed from "friends" to marriage.

"But, now that Yamanobe-sensei's agreed, does that mean Rosa Foetida will lose interest – ?"

Yumi asked, suddenly anxious.

Rosa Chinensis answered, saying, "Don't worry."

"Eriko isn't going to get bored of such an interesting toy so quickly."

Having survived the ordeal, Yamanobe-sensei made his exit, but his unusual marching gait combined with the unfamiliar visitor's slippers led to him falling over in a heap, looking less like a romanticist and more like a buffoon.

Part 5

"And so, Rosa Foetida's love is currently progressing. We of the Lillian's Girls Academy High-School Newspaper Club are using this special edition of the "Lillian Kawaraban" to describe the uproar caused by the short-story, "The Golden Rose," published in the preceding issue."

"That's fine," Rosa Foetida laughed. That was her initial impression after Yumi had brought the initial draft to the third-year chrysanthemum group classroom, after it had been dropped off at the Rose Mansion by Minako-sama during the lunch break.

Rosa Foetida put her empty juice box in the bin at the back of the classroom, then invited Yumi over to the nearby courtyard. The weather was nice. It really felt like a spring day.

"If you think it's okay, they'll probably just go with this."

The sun came streaming through between the clouds and Yumi squinted.

"Okay, okay. What did everyone else think?"

"They'd been expecting an apology or a correction, but it turned out to be a documentary. My onee-sama was shocked."

Sachiko-sama had felt like an outsider for the entire event, so she hadn't said a single word of disagreement. Instead, she'd read more enthusiastically than everyone else.

"It never would have happened without the newspaper club. But Minako-san didn't write this article, did she?"

"Ah, you knew? Apparently her soeur, Mami-san, wrote it."

Minako-sama was taking a sabbatical to reflect on her actions, and wasn't involved in the special edition. She seemed to be deeply affected by what had happened. Even so, it probably wouldn't be long until she returned to her usual ways.

"So I suppose Mami-san will be head of the newspaper club next year then."

"Only if Minako-sama retires quietly."

"That's true."

Rosa Foetida stood up, stretching her legs, and something ran past. It was Lunch.

"Ah, Goronta."

" … You call her Goronta too, Rosa Foetida?"

No matter how many times she heard it, Yumi couldn't get used to it. She had known it as Lunch for too long now.

"Well, that's what Sei called her. Come here, Goronta."

Rosa Foetida beckoned as she called out, and Lunch momentarily stopped and looked her way. But then all she did was let out a meow before taking off at full speed once again.

"I'll bet she's found something interesting."

Rosa Foetida smiled as the cat disappeared in the hedge.

"I can tell."

She said, somewhat resembling a cat herself.

Translator's Notes

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