Maria-sama ga Miteru:Volume28 Chapter10

The Awkward Princess

"I'm off."

I flew out of the classroom as soon as the fourth period class had ended.

"Ah. Hiromi-san, where are you going?"

"There's some stuff I've got to do. I'll skip lunch."

"Wait, I have no idea why you're in such a hurry, but at least put your seat back in its proper position."

My classmate grumbled. I heard her, but didn't turn back. Right. Like she said, currently I was in a hurry.

The only time I slowed down was when I passed one of the older teachers. But I don't think I was able to stop my ragged breathing. This morning, when I woke up and looked out the window, I was struck by a brilliant idea. What would her expression be when I told her?

"Oh, pardon me."

Turning the corner out of the corridor, I barely managed to avoid running into Takeshima Tsutako-san from the second-year pine class.

"No, it's my fault."

Not watching where I was going while breaking the speed limit. It's quite obvious who was at fault here, but that's the standard greeting when you suddenly come to a halt. I knew Tsutako-san from back in first-year, when we'd both been in the same class.

"Oh, you're off to have lunch somewhere?"

Tsutako-san asked, noticing the lunchbox I was carrying.

"Ahh, yeah."

In return, I dropped my gaze to look at what Tsutako-san held in her hands and, as usual, she was holding a compact camera. Tsutako-san was the self-styled 'Photography Club Ace' so she carried a camera everywhere, as though it were attached to her body.

"The weather's nice today."

Thinking that things could get problematic if the conversation went on for too long, I looked towards the first-year classrooms. At that precise moment, the flash went off.

"Kya."

I instinctively looked down, but Tsutako-san said:

"Sorry. But you had a nice look on your face."

"A nice look?"

That was unusual, so I questioned it. It was the first time that anyone had ever taken a surprise photo of me like that. Naturally, I'd had my photo taken countless times before now. Most of the time, it was because I requested it. There were times when I'd unknowingly had my photo taken, but that was usually when I was chatting with a group of people – and in those cases it wouldn't matter if it was me or somebody else in the photo.

"I can bring a copy around to your classroom if you'd like … Umm."

"It's wisteria group."

"Ah, right, right, wisteria group. The same one as Shimako-san."

After that Tsutako-san continued the general flow of the conversation and inquired about how things were with Toudou Shimako-san. I wasn't particularly interested in that, so I merely responded with, "Same as ever."

"Okay. Well, sorry for keeping you. I'll bring the photos around sometime soon."

"Ah, Tsutako-san."

"Yes?"

Tsutako-san was walking away when I called out to her, and she slowly turned to face me.

"Sometime soon I may ask you to take some photos for me."

"Oh my. Something's about to happen, huh."

"Is that okay?"

"Of course. Just let me know when."

My former classmate said, then left. I waved her goodbye, then resumed jogging down the hallway.

I moved with a spring in my step.

My target was the first-year camellia class. Home of the adorable Mickey.

"Mickey."

She was surrounded by a couple of classmates so I stood at the door and called out to her directly, not bothering to get someone else in the class to fetch her for me.

"Kan … no, Hiromi-sama."

Freeing herself from her classmates and rushing out into the corridor, Mickey was as short and skinny as ever.

"It's okay, you can still call me Kan-chan."

"No. Since you're a year older, it's only proper that I call you Hiromi-sama."

"You're strict."

As I said this I reached out to touch her tie but she pulled back with her face flushed. Perhaps she was conscious about being in public.

"Things are different to before."

"Nothing's changed though."

In the past, I'd often straighten her hair after it had been messed up by boys who were teasing her. Mickey had been even smaller than now and her fingers weren't as dexterous, so she'd come crying to me for help. I was the one who'd untangle the string when she got stuck playing cat's cradle. I was the one who'd open the juice box for her when we went out. And I was the one who'd close the folding umbrella for her.

"So what brings you here today?"

Mickey was looking back inside her classroom. It felt like one of the girls she had been talking to earlier was staring at us.

"Is that your lunch?"

I pointed at the small handbag that was hanging from a strap around her shoulder.

"Huh? … Yeah."

"Perfect. Bring that and let's go."

"Let's go? Where to?"

"Just follow me. We'll eat lunch outside today."

I grabbed hold of Mickey's hand and was walking off when I saw that classmate of hers walking over.

"Hold on, Sayuri-san. We're still in the middle of our conversation."

She had a stern look on her face. I stopped momentarily, turned to face her and emphatically stated:

"I'm borrowing Mickey for a while."

As expected, Mickey's classmate wasn't about to defy someone older than her and didn't pursue the matter further. Mickey looked momentarily troubled about being caught between us, but eventually followed me. I was pleased. Taking Mickey out of that stagnant classroom and into the fresh air had been the right decision.

When we reached the courtyard, I asked Mickey a question.

"What did I do?"

"Huh?"

"Your classmate, just before. She looked like she was mad about something."

At long last, Mickey smiled.

"Masami-san? That's her normal face."

"Really?"

"Yeah. That's how she always looks. So it's kind of sad that you thought she looked mad."

This seemed to have tickled her funny bone, as Mickey started to giggle. She then went on to say that she'd been in the same class as Masami-san all throughout middle-school and they were close friends.

"Is that it. I thought you were being bullied again."

"Not at all. Anyway, why don't we eat our lunch here? If we don't hurry, the lunch break will be over."

I spread out the plastic tarp and Mickey say down and opened her lunch box.

We were soon joined on the grass by a few more groups of people, all of whom probably had the same idea, and our elegant lunchtime began. It looked like most of the other groups thought this up on the spur of the moment, because we were one of the few to have a tarp. Even so, the other girls didn't give up, spreading about old newspapers and fliers they had acquired from somewhere. I heard a distant voice joke that their white socks would be stained by the newspaper ink.

Peace.

Even without Mickey's earlier refutation, the light and carefree traditions of Lillian's Girls Academy meant that bullying seldom occurred. That was probably why Mickey, often teased at school, had eschewed taking the entrance exam for our local public middle-school in favor of this private one.

Since I had been preparing to protect her during middle-school I was a bit worried when I first heard this, but now I could see that it had been the best choice for Mickey.

Suddenly, I felt the urge to ask her.

"Hey, what did you feel when you saw me at Lillian's?"

"Why do you ask?"

Mickey stopped eating and looked up at me.

"You were so shocked, I didn't ask you at the time."

It was in April, and the cherry blossoms were fluttering down. I spotted Mickey in front of the statue of Maria-sama and called out to her. When she turned around, she looked so surprised that it made me feel ashamed. Like she'd seen a ghost or something.

"Yeah, it really was a big surprise."

Mickey smiled.

"After all, I'd heard nothing from you since my family moved away. I never imagined that you'd be at Lillian's."

And then she'd seen someone she hadn't expected to be there. So to say she'd seen a ghost wouldn't be entirely incorrect.

"Anything other than surprise?"

I asked, looking straight into her eyes. Then Mickey got a slightly troubled look on her face.

"How to put this, it wasn't a single emotion. It was like a flood of memories came back to me all at once … Sorry I can't explain it any better."

"That's okay."

Because they were her honest feelings. Of course, if she'd said, "I was so happy since I never expected to see you," then that would have felt good too. But it wasn't like her to use such sweet words anyway.

"If there's ever anything bothering you, come and see me. I'll help you."

"I couldn't. I don't want to cause you any trouble."

"Don't worry about it. I'll just take this as an advance payment."

I took the last remaining sausage piece from Mickey's lunch box and popped it into my mouth.

"There's nothing bothering me."

Mickey closed her lunchbox, put her chopsticks back in their holder and smiled.

"But when there is, talk to me."

"Yeah. When there is."

Ten minutes before the start of the fifth period, I rolled up the plastic tarp and escorted Mickey back to her first-year camellia group classroom.

* * *

Two days later, I heard Mickey's name spoken by someone completely unexpected.

"Hiromi-san. Ahh, about that first-year student you're often with."

Toudou Shimako-san called out to me just as I was about to head home for the day.

"You mean Mickey?"

"Mickey … ? Ahh, yes. Her name is indeed Miike-san. Is she your petit soeur?"

"We're not soeurs."

I mentally added, "For now, anyway," then challenged Shimako-san.

"Why do you ask?"

Petit soeur.

The question itself wasn't that unusual.

Whenever I'd walk alongside Mickey, my classmates would innocently pepper us with that question.

And every time we were asked, I'd deny it by saying, "We're not soeurs," just like I had done with Shimako-san. I felt that we would become soeurs at some point, but I hadn't yet presented her with a rosary.

It had only been a month since the school opening ceremony. There was no rush. That's what I thought.

The reason I followed up the, "We're not soeurs," response with a, "Why?" was probably because Shimako-san had been the one asking.

Shimako-san came across as fairly aloof, someone who wasn't interested in the high-school equivalent of celebrity gossip – which two students had become soeurs, or which soeurs were currently quarreling, that kind of thing.

"There's something I'm a bit worried about. Although I don't mean to intrude."

Shimako-san said, haltingly. She prefaced what came next by saying this was something she'd heard from a first-year whose acquaintance she'd recently made.

"Two days ago, Miike Sayuri-san ate lunch outside accompanied by an older student. Were you the one who invited her, Hiromi-san?"

"Huh? Yeah."

"After that … Sayuri-san was late for her fifth-period class. Were you aware of that?"

"Huh?"

I couldn't believe my ears.

"That's not true. I walked her back to her classroom. Then I made it back to class before the bell rang for the start of lesson."

I smiled, rebuffing the foolish accusation. But Shimako-san silenced me with a glance.

"The class she was late for was PE."

"Huh?"

"So even if she was back at her classroom before the bell rang, she may not have made it to class on time."

"No way."

I felt my legs starting to give way and reached out for the nearest desk. I couldn't say whether all the blood rushed to my head, or I'd gone pale. My mind went completely blank.

"Why didn't she tell me?"

I mumbled. The question wasn't aimed at anyone in particular, but from beside me Shimako-san provided an honest answer.

"Perhaps she couldn't tell you."

"She couldn't tell me?"

This time around I was questioning Shimako-san.

"So you see."

Shimako-san didn't come out and say it directly, but her eyes said, "That's the problem."

The problem was that Mickey couldn't clearly convey her thoughts to me. And that I hadn't recognized this.

Which was why Shimako-san had involved herself, conveying Mickey's thoughts to me. I needed to start focusing on that problem more.

That was probably true. However.

"Thanks for the advice."

I forced a smile then added one more thing.

"But, Shimako-san. Wouldn't it be better to think about yourself before worrying about other people?"

In truth, I didn't want to say this. I was truly grateful for what Shimako-san had done. But I didn't like to show my weaknesses to anyone. That barb was said out of self-defense more than anything else.

"… I suppose."

Shimako-san nodded slightly, then left the classroom. I waited until she was out of sight before I too left.

Why hadn't Mickey told me?

That question filled my thoughts as I walked down the hallway.

She could have simply forgotten that her fifth-period class was PE. She could be a bit absentminded from time to time. It could have just slipped her mind while she was enjoying herself.

But then why hadn't she told me that she'd been late. I'd seen her a couple of times after that. But she hadn't said a word about it, neither yesterday nor this morning.

Was she acting reserved? I considered this, but quickly discarded it.

Given our relationship, why would she be reserved? It was unthinkable.

But.

What if a distance of four years resulted in a corresponding distance between two people's hearts.

I walked aimlessly. I thought better when my body was moving than when it's sitting still.

I reached the end of the hallway and walked out the entrance.

As I walked alongside the school building, I thought, "Even so."

Even so. Lillian's school traditions fostered a strict seniority based system. Since Mickey was younger than me, perhaps she thought that she couldn't talk to me about being late to class.

That couldn't be it. Like the Yellow Rose sisters, Hasekura Rei-sama and Shimazu Yoshino-san, there was no barrier of seniority between us.

Or take the Red Rose sisters. Hadn't Fukuzawa Yumi-san disagreed with her onee-sama about the location of the red card in the greenhouse?

Wasn't that the kind of relationship we had? Or was there something different between them and us?

Was it because we weren't soeurs?

Mickey appeared in front of me just as that question popped into my mind.

"Gokigenyou. Is something the matter?"

Mickey placed the empty trash bin she was carrying on the ground and looked curiously at me. The location I had arrived at was the school's bin site, an unnatural place to be when empty-handed.

"I was just thinking about things, and before I knew it I was here."

I couldn't come up with a better explanation quickly, so spoke the truth.

"Thinking about things?"

"Yeah."

Mickey didn't ask what I'd been thinking about. If she had asked, I probably would have told her everything.

"Hiromi-sama?"

But since I hadn't been given that opening, there was no way I could release those withheld feelings.

Even without an opening, you're better off saying what you want to say. In my head, I knew that. Still –

There were matters of tactfulness and restraint to consider too.

So then, how should I remove this barrier that existed between us?

"Mickey."

I untied one of the ribbons that hung down beneath Mickey's ears.

"Can I have this?"

"Huh?"

"Please. It's important."

I tied the ribbon around my own hair, which was just barely long enough.

"And can you make time for me tomorrow afternoon, after school?"

"Oh?"

"There's something I want to talk to you about."

"… Okay."

"Alright, I'll come by your classroom once I've finished cleaning."

I broke into a run on the way back.

The ribbon, my good luck charm, fluttered in the breeze.

Previously, I'd seen Sachiko-sama take one of Yumi's ribbons and tie it in her own hair.

Perhaps I wanted the ribbon to lend me some of that courage.

* * *

The next morning, I walked over to the university and bought a rosary.

There were many possible ways to procure a rosary. But the quickest and easiest was to buy one from the university store.

Compared to buying one as a souvenir from a large church overseas, or over the internet, it may not be as individual or rare, but that didn't matter. The rosary was just a prop for the ceremony. A packaging, used to deliver my feelings for Mickey.

I was nervous all throughout the day. During class, I was constantly conscious of the rosary in the pocket of my school uniform. I barely tasted the lunch that I ate with my classmates.

When at last the annoyingly long school day was over, I went to visit the second-year pine classroom immediately after finishing cleaning.

"Tsutako-san, do you have a moment?"

My timing was spot-on and I caught her just as she was leaving the classroom. She took one glance at me and said, unprompted:

"Oh? Are you by chance about to give someone your rosary?"

"How did you know?"

"You mean I got it right? It was just a guess."

With that, Tsutako-san decided to change her plans and accompany me, rather than continue on to the photography club's clubroom.

"It's called club activities, but photography is a solitary pursuit. We show up whenever we want, do our own individual activities and then leave whenever we want."

Tsutako-san smiled, leaning against the corridor wall. Moreover, if she were to refuse my request then she'd probably regret it, since she'd miss out on a good photo opportunity.

"So, what kind of photograph do you want?"

I asked what she meant, and Tsutako-san explained that she could have us pose for a photo, or she could hide and take the shot from a distance, or a range of other options. I smiled and shook my head.

"When the ceremony's over, I'll call out to you. I want a photo of the two of us in front of the statue of Maria-sama."

"Okay. I'll head off then."

"Ah, wait. She's walking this way."

"Walking this way? Weren't you going to get her?"

"Yeah.... But, well."

There was no doubting that Mickey was walking towards us down the corridor. But she wasn't alone, another student was walking beside her. So I thought this might just be a coincidence, and that she wasn't specifically coming to see me.

But when they noticed me standing in the corridor chatting to Tsutako-san, they stopped and bowed.

"What's the matter? I said I was going to come and get you."

"My deepest apologies. I imposed because I had something I wanted to say to you, Hiromi-sama."

The girl standing beside Mickey said.

"You? To me?"

From memory, this was Masami-san. The classmate that Mickey said always had a fierce expression.

"If it's alright with you, we should go somewhere quieter … How about the courtyard?"

" – Okay."

I looked at Mickey. But she looked down, unable to meet me eyes.

"… Just what do you want to say?"

"That's for in the courtyard."

And with that, Masami-san walked off. Mickey followed her. Left with no other choice, I followed too. At that point:

"Stop. Do you mind if I follow along too?"

Tsutako-san said. The three of us turned around simultaneously.

"After all, there's the two of you right? So it shouldn't matter that there's two of us then?"

By her phrasing Tsutako-san drew a clear distinction between 'us' (herself and I) and 'them' (Mickey and Masami-san).

"But."

"I can see by your face you think I'm trying to meddle in something that's none of my business. Don't worry, I won't interfere. It's simply to even up the numbers. Or would you prefer a one-on-one?"

Masami-san folded in the face of Tsutako-san's persistence.

"No. That's fine."

"Thanks."

As we walked, I tugged at Tsutako-san's sleeve.

"Geeze, Tsutako-san."

"It's okay. They understand. If everything goes well, I'll take a commemorative photo there."

Even though I was planning on getting her as soon as it was over, it still felt somewhat reassuring to have her coming along with us.

"Hiromi-sama, shall we start with your topic of conversation?"

Masami-san said, once we had arrived at the courtyard.

"It's okay, it can wait until after whatever you wanted to say, Masami-san."

The rosary was in my pocket and it wouldn't be long until I would hang that around Mickey's neck. But I didn't want to do that in front of some third-party.

Besides, no matter what Masami-san was about to say, it wouldn't cause me to reconsider asking Mickey to be my petit soeur.

"Okay, I'll start then."

Masami-san got straight to the point.

"A simple request. Can you please stop following Sayuri-san around."

"Huh?"

I said, my voice sounding fairly moronic. I hadn't tried to anticipate what the conversation would be about, but never in my wildest dreams would I have imagined that she would say that.

"You may think that nothing's changed since elementary school, but the Sayuri-san now isn't the same as the Sayuri-san from back then."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, in the past you may have protected Sayuri-san from bullies, and she feels a debt of gratitude for that. However."

"Hold on a minute. What are you talking about, with this gratitude stuff. No, more importantly – why are you the one that's saying this? Isn't that something for Mickey to say, not you. Do you really think anyone would accept such things coming from a stranger?"

I was so blissfully ignorant that, even at this point, I still didn't think there was a problem. I thought that Masami-san was trying to tear apart my friendship with Mickey, although I couldn't understand why.

"Mickey. What about you? Is what this girl's saying really how you feel?"

I turned and asked Mickey, who seemed to be hiding behind Masami-san, looking at the ground.

Say it's not true. At the very least, shake your head. That was what I prayed for.

Instead, Mickey took a step forwards, raised her head and said:

"It is."

"… Mickey."

"Don't call me Mickey. I'm not a mouse."

Mickey said, her voice stronger than I had ever heard it before.

"I hated that name even when I was young. When I entered Lillian's, a place where no-one knew the old me, I thought that finally I'd be able to lead a peaceful life. That I'd finally be able to forget. But despite this, why did you … "

"It was."

To protect my adorable Mickey. But I swallowed those words.

Watching Mickey crumble to her knees and burst into tears, I knew that nothing I could say would help.

"You ambush me at the gate. You talk about the past at every opportunity. You drag me out to the courtyard at lunch and then eat my food. And yesterday, you took my favorite ribbon, the one my uncle brought back as a gift from his trip to France. I just can't take it any more."

" – "

Ahh, right. That's how it was. Looking at it from Mickey's point-of-view, all I'd been doing was harassing her.

"Alright."

I said, trying to sound as positive as possible.

"But we do go to the same school, so you may see me around from time to time. Unpleasant as that may be."

"That's unavoidable. I wouldn't ask you to leave the school over this. Just, please, leave me alone."

"And I ate the wiener so I can't give that back, but I'll return your ribbon to you. Ahh, I don't have it on me at the moment. What should I do about that?"

Even as I said it, I was mocking myself about that wiener comment.

Mickey said it was fine to leave it in her shoe-box, and I agreed.

Our strictly business conversation finished with the first-years saying, "Well then," and turning away. They didn't ask about what I had initially intended to say to Mickey. Since they wanted nothing further to do with me, it probably didn't matter to them what I had wanted to say. As she hugged Mickey's shoulders, Masami-san's face looked kind and completely nonthreatening.

"Miike Sayuri-san."

I wanted to put on a show of courage, to call her out at the end.

"You wouldn't have been able to say this without your friend lending you her strength."

Mickey turned to look back once and laughed coldly, then dropped her head and didn't turn back a second time.

" … Tsutako-san, did you know this was going to happen?"

I asked, once Mickey and Masami-san had disappeared back into the school building.

"No way. But I did get the sense that it wasn't going to be a particularly nice conversation."

"Really? I guess that makes sense."

Mickey had shown up, accompanied by a friend. It probably hadn't looked like being a normal, friendly chat.

"Tsutako-san. Take a photo."

"Okay, … "

I knew what Tsutako-san wanted to say. While I was asking her to take the photo, my face had suddenly crumpled.

"I don't want to forget what happened today. So I want a record of this to remain."

"Like Tokugawa Ieyasu."

Tsutako-san said, taking her camera out of its case.

"Ieyasu?"

"He had his portrait painted after he lost a battle. I think it was the battle of Mikatagahara. You didn't know?"

"No."

Then after that he went on to rule over all Japan. Even though it currently felt like I'd been beaten down so badly that I couldn't tell what was going to happen, the future didn't have to be completely bleak.

"I thought I was being an ally of justice. But to Mickey, I was just an invading bully."

Tsutako-san had her camera out and I stood tall and looked straight at it. One after another, the tears ran down my cheeks, but I didn't wipe them away.

"One day she'll understand that."

I refuted those words of consolation from my friend.

"Better that she doesn't. If some day she does understand the tears that I shed today, then the pain of the bullies will stay with her for the rest of her life."

"… Geeze, you really are awkward."

After Tsutako-san voiced her amazement, the soothing sound of the shutter rang out.

"But you're not a bad person."

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