Hyouka:Volume 1 Chapter 7

7 - The Truth of the Historic Classics Club

In the evening after a lengthy debate, I leisurely pedaled my bike in the farmlands drenched by the orange sunset, and struggled to listen to Satoshi's soft voice.

"To be honest I'm quite surprised, Houtarou. Indeed I'm surprised by what you said there. If you're right, then our Kanya Festival owes its existence to the expense of one person's high school life. However, I'm even more surprised that you're able to deduce all that."

"You're doubting my ability?"

I replied jokingly, yet for once Satoshi didn't smile when he answered, "You've been solving riddles ever since enrolling at Kami High. During our first meeting with Chitanda-san, or the case of the popular book that nobody reads, as well as the one with the Wall Newspaper Club president."

"They just happened by chance."

"Yet the results mean that didn't matter. Yet the problem is why would someone like you who finds solving riddles to be bothersome end up solving them? The answer is simple when you think about it. You're doing it for Chitanda-san."

I turned my head, and wondered whether that was true.

"Doing it for Chianda" wasn't exactly right, I think I would accept it if the reason was worded as "it's all Chitanda's fault". I remember Satoshi saying something this aptly as well before, that I wouldn't take action unless someone asks me to do so. While she didn't ask me directly, it's true that I ended up doing something bothersome for her, but...

"Today's different."

Yeah, today's different.

"You can be good at drawing attention to yourself as well, you know? Today, the job of solving the riddle was supposed to be done equally between the four of us. You could have chosen to run away saying you didn't get any of it, and none of us would have said anything. Yet why did you still seek out the answer yourself under the pretext of going to the bathroom?"

The sun continued to set, and I could feel the breeze of the wind. I moved my eyes away from Satoshi's gaze and looked forward.

"Wasn't it because you were doing it for Chitanda-san?"

Satoshi's question was quite right. Normally, I wouldn't have bothered to solve such a puzzle. I guess I was extremely active today.

Yes... that has to be it.

Why did I act as I did today? I think I more or less understood the reason, and it had almost nothing to do with Chitanda. However, understanding something myself was different from getting someone else to understand it as well. Without refining my knowledge and vocabulary base, I was not able to convey my thoughts to others, not even to a telepath like Satoshi.

No, rather than that, I think it's because I've known Satoshi for so long that explaining becomes difficult. Since my actions and motives today were a departure from my usual modus operandi.

Still, I had no obligation to explain myself to him. I could have said it had nothing to do with him. Yet I felt like answering Satoshi, as well as organizing my thoughts for my own sake. So after a long silence, I gave my answer after choosing my words.

"... I guess, I'm just tired of having a grey-coloured life."

"?"

"Ever since meeting Chitanda, my energy efficiency levels have fallen to their lowest levels. She would prepare making essay anthologies as a club president, take exams as a student, and seek out her past as a human being. That's quite tiring for me. You and Ibara are the same, spending time on all sorts of worthless endeavors."

"Well... I guess."

"But you know, sometimes I do think the grass is greener on the other side of the fence."

I stopped speaking right there, as I realized I could have phrased that in a better way. Yet I couldn't think of anything better than that, and so I continued, "Whenever I look at you guys, I can't bring myself to calm down. I want to stay calm, yet I don't find anything interesting in that."

"......"

"So at the very least, I wanted to, how'd you put it, solve the riddle. I wanted to have a taste of your way of life."

I shut my mouth after that. Amidst the sound of the pedals and the breeze, Satoshi said nothing. Satoshi was normally talkative, yet there were times when he couldn't say anything, and I was quite mindful of that, as I wanted him to say something. I'll just think of an excuse later, for now, I couldn't stand this silence any longer.

"Well, say something,"

I could sense Satoshi smiling even though I couldn't see it as he spoke at last.

"I think..."

"Hmm?"

"I think you're actually envious of those with a rose-coloured life."

I replied without thinking, "Maybe."