How To Eat Life:Chapter 1-2

#1-2_otogiri_tobi / Boundary Line Hallucinations

Tobi reclined on his bed in his room, engrossed in a paperback book titled "Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?" It appeared to be a translated version of an American science fiction novel.

In the recreation room of the facility, three steel shelves stood adorned with books donated by former residents. The residents were free to peruse them as they pleased. Since the popular books were always snatched up by elementary and middle school kids, Tobi resorted to reading exclusively unpopular books to pass the time.

Or at least, he thought he was reading. Whenever he encountered unfamiliar words, he would consult the dictionary for their meanings. As a result, he had managed to memorize most kanji characters, yet for some reason, the contents of the books never stuck in his mind. Shortly after finishing a book, he would forget the majority of it.

Tobi glanced at his watch. It was 9:56 PM. In the facility, lights out for middle school students was at 10 PM, leaving him with four minutes remaining. Many residents would exploit the convenient excuse of "wanting to study" to postpone lights out, but Tobi never did so.

"Getting ready for sleepytime, Tobi?"¹

Baku chuckled from the floor.

"What do you mean, sleepytime? I'm not a child."

Tobi placed the book next to his pillow. The room had originally been designed for two people, with two beds. However, in reality, the room belonged solely to him.

It wasn't as if he had requested to live alone. It had once been a shared room, but the other person grew irritated and complained to the staff. They couldn't bear sharing a room with Otogiri Tobi, they had stated.

"If you ask me, an eighth grader is still a child among children, you know?"

Tobi extended his legs from the bed and stepped on Baku.

"Ow, stop that, Tobi, you-"

"Baku, you're even younger than me. Doesn't that make you an even bigger child?"

"I'm an exception. You might even call me 'special'! I'm extraordinary! Hey, cut it out, Tobi! If you keep stepping on me like that, I'll lose my shape! What will you do then?! Hey..."

After playfully nudging Baku for a while, Tobi felt satisfied and stopped stepping on him. He switched off the lights and settled back onto his bed.

For high schoolers, lights out was at 11 PM, and there were residents who would exploit homework or studying as a pretext to stay up late. The walls and doors were not particularly thick, and silence was an unfamiliar concept during nights at the facility.

Tobi wrapped himself in the blanket and lay on his side.

"Are you thinking about that girl, Tobi?"

"I'm not thinking about her at all."

Tobi wanted to express his annoyance by clicking his tongue.

"She hasn't even crossed my mind until you brought her up."

"Really? That sounds suspicious."

"I'm being serious."

The words escaped his mouth casually, not because he was actually thinking about that girl.

"...Really."

As Tobi corrected himself, Baku let out a mocking laugh.

"She's a peculiar woman, isn't she?"

"Don't call her a woman."

"Well, she is a woman, isn't she?"

"That's true..."

"You were thinking about her, weren't you? I mean, it happened. Of course, it would be on your mind."

"Not really, it's not on my mind at all."

"Just be honest already. Besides, even if you're not interested, she, on the other hand—"

"I'm trying to sleep now. Could you please be quiet?"

"Yeah, okay, Tobi. Hope it won't be a sleepless night."

Tobi closed his eyes and pretended to snore. Baku chuckled once again. He should mind his own business. Tobi was a good sleeper; he could fall asleep right away. He wasn't thinking about the girl or anything. He didn't want to think about her, yet he couldn't help but do so.

"—I have a favor to ask, Otogiri-kun, so could I take this opportunity?"

Upon hearing that, Shiratama lowered her chin slightly and her tone changed strangely.

"Can you be my friend and spend time together?"

"......Huh?"

Tobi tried to comprehend her request. Was it even a request? He didn't think it was a question.³ Regardless, Shiratama was waiting for an answer. That much was clear.

But how should he respond?

Tobi couldn't understand. "Eh—ah—uhh—" he mindlessly repeated.

"Ah."

Shiratama covered her mouth with her right hand.

"It's a sudden request, so I'm sorry if it's a bother. I don't mind if you don't respond right away."

"Ah... is that... so."

"Of course, if you'd like to respond now?"

"No, that would... well..."

"Would you prefer later?"

"......I guess?"

"I understand."

Shiratama closed her eyes and let out a sigh.

"I'm glad I could tell you. My heart was pounding."

Tobi's heart was also racing. He couldn't help but feel like he was being put in a difficult position.

"Then, Otogiri-kun, see you tomorrow."

As if relieved after expressing what she wanted to say, Shiratama bid farewell with a bow and left once everything was settled.

What's with this person?

Just as Tobi thought that, Baku muttered.

"What on earth was that?..."

In the end, he didn't get much sleep that night.

It was all because of Shiratama Ryuuko.

She had suddenly approached him like that, and just as he was wondering what she wanted, she said something so strange.

"Will you be my friend and can spend time together?"

Caught off guard, Tobi was bewildered. Otherwise, he would have given some kind of response on the spot. That's what he believed. If a stranger suddenly asked, "Won't you dance with me?" the answer would be "No." A clear rejection.

If only he had refused.

If he had said, "No, I won't."

The reason Tobi didn't respond immediately was that he was perplexed.

Furthermore, the way Shiratama had phrased her question was also a bit odd.

"As a friend."

That part was fine. It was the other part.

"Will you be my friend and can we spend time together?"

Wasn't that strange? Was Tobi the one being weird for finding it strange? Perhaps he was overthinking it. If it were just the first part, "Will you be my friend," that had a clear meaning. However, he couldn't ignore the latter part. Shiratama had emphasized that it was "as a friend." In that case, that's how he should interpret it.

In short, what Shiratama had said was simply "Let's be friends."

Shiratama's way of speaking was also peculiar, mixing in formal language, even though they were in the same grade. Tobi probably shouldn't let that confuse him. It seemed like Shiratama simply wanted to be friends with Tobi.

That was the problem.

Friends with Otogiri Tobi?

Why, again?

Then, there was an even bigger, more serious problem.

Tobi could hear Baku's voice.

As he arrived at school without having slept, the teacher with the black-rimmed glasses glared at him by the school gates. This teacher always wore a perfectly fitting suit. And on this particular morning, Tobi did not want to be called upon by the teacher with the black-rimmed glasses. Tobi took the initiative and quickly bowed his head.

"Good morning, teacher," Tobi greeted the teacher with black-rimmed glasses.

"...O-Oh. Good morning," the teacher replied, clearly taken aback. Tobi had been greeting him every morning since his first year, but this time, something seemed different. The teacher had always responded with a simple "Good morning," but now he seemed surprised by Tobi's greeting. Tobi wondered if he had done the right thing.

"What's gotten into you?" Baku asked as he changed his shoes at the shoe box.

"Who knows? I don't think anything has gotten into me, though."

"Is this what they call a change of heart? What set this off, huh?"

"You're overreacting..."

Tobi felt a bit dejected as he realized that his indoor shoes were a bit tight. Had his feet grown? As his body grew, his clothes didn't fit anymore, and buying replacements was painfully expensive.

As he turned toward the classroom, a long-haired female student emerged from the shadow of the shoe box. Tobi unconsciously took a step back.

"Shi-Shiratama-san," he stammered.

"Good morning, Otogiri-kun," Shiratama greeted him, her gaze fixed on him.

"Wha-what?" Tobi looked down and covered the bottom of his face with his arm.

"Do you need something? So early in the morning..."

"Actually, I was lying in wait for you here."

"Eh... W-why?"

"Didn't I tell you yesterday?"

"......Yeah."

"I wanted to know your answer."

"Tha—"

"T-Tobi?" Shiratama interrupted him, her eyes full of concern.

"...Tha?"

"...t's..."

Suddenly, the phrase "to make your eyes white and black" popped into Tobi's head. He had looked it up in the dictionary before. It didn't mean that the eyes literally turned white and black, but rather that the eyeballs darted around violently. Right now, Tobi's eyeballs felt like they were having a terribly busy workout, and he felt faint.

Several students from their class approached the shoe box, whispering to each other as they changed their shoes. They seemed to be eyeing Shiratama and Tobi's situation, as if wondering, "Woah, what're they doing?" To be honest, Tobi himself was also thinking, "What are we doing?"

"Oh!" A passing janitor called out to them, further complicating the situation. "Otogiri-kun, good morning. What're you doing there, Shiratama-san?"

Shiratama turned to look at the janitor and politely bowed, "Good morning. Thank you for your hard work so early in the morning."

"Thank you," Tobi added.

Haizaki, the janitor, smiled bashfully, holding a cardboard box. Tobi wasn't particularly interested in what was inside.

But Shiratama seemed to be intrigued. "That looks heavy. Shall I help you?"

"No, no. Heavens, no!" Haizaki vigorously shook his head, his slitted eyes widening.

"It's completely fine. This is my job, after all. I'm here to work, and Shiratama-san comes to school to study."

"You know, I'm pretty strong!" Shiratama boasted, lifting her right arm and bending it at a right angle. Her arms were thin, too thin to be considered strong in Tobi's opinion. The whole story didn't seem to add up. Even if Shiratama had super strength, it didn't matter. Haizaki was responsible for carrying things around as part of his job, and a middle schooler like Shir

atama had no obligation to help him. Haizaki had even mentioned it himself. Even Tobi, who Baku had called "communicationally challenged," understood that much.

Tobi's mind flickered with the possibility that Shiratama might be a dangerous person, a thought that had crossed his mind the previous night. A proper middle school student wouldn't normally ask to be friends with someone like Otogiri Tobi in the first place. He knew he wasn't the type of person that people would naturally gravitate towards—he wasn't peppy, kind, or interesting. He had a complicated past that was difficult to explain, and Baku was the only person he could really talk to. Besides, he had the ability to see things that others couldn't see. If someone else also had that ability, what would they think? They would likely consider him a dangerous person.

In the eyes of others, Otogiri Tobi must be seen as a dangerous person. So, trying to become friends with someone like him, Shiratama Ryuuko, must also be considered dangerous.

The urge to run surged through Tobi. He intensely wanted to escape from the situation. Shiratama was engaged in a conversation with Haizaki, presenting him with an opportunity. Yes, he should seize the chance to get away.

Tobi attempted to leave the scene, but his escape was noticed.

"Oh-" Shiratama grabbed his right arm near his wrist.

"No, don't go, Otogiri-kun. At least give me an answer."

"...Wha?" Haizaki's face twitched, showing signs of confusion.

"Did I perhaps get in between something? Sorry, excuse me. Like, 'get kicked by a horse!' right?..."

Why did he bring up horses? Tobi had read it in a book somewhere. There was a saying like that.

'Someone who gets between a person's romance should get bitten by a dog and die.'

As for the dog part, 'should just get kicked by a horse and die' was an alternative.

It seemed that Haizaki had misunderstood the situation. Should Tobi correct him? It didn't really matter. Now wasn't the time for that; Shiratama was still gripping his wrist.

Can you please release your grip?

Tobi tried to convey his request through his eyes.

Unfortunately, it seemed like Shiratama didn't understand. She tilted her head curiously, but it was Tobi who was curious.

He couldn't help it. With caution, Tobi gently shook off Shiratama's hand, making sure not to be too rough.

"Um... About that, how about we continue the conversation while walking, or...?" Tobi suggested hesitantly, and Shiratama nodded in agreement.

Should I just run as fast as I can and shake her off? Tobi briefly considered this, but quickly dismissed the thought. Shiratama fell into step on his left side.

"I would like to hear your response," Shiratama said.

"...Already? Isn't it a bit too early?" Tobi responded.

"Were you already in the middle of considering it?" Shiratama questioned.

"Umm... 'considering it' is a stretch. More like... well..." Tobi struggled to find the right words.

"You're such an indirect guy," Baku sighed.

"Are you an indirect person?" Shiratama asked.

"I mean, he doesn't have a habit of expressing his own thoughts and feelings verbally. People hardly ever talk to him anyway," Baku explained.

"What about with you?" Shiratama inquired.

"I'm different. But even with me, there are times when I think, 'get it!' or 'put yourself in his shoes!'" Baku replied.

"Like, in order to understand each other?" Shiratama clarified.

"Something like that," Baku confirmed.

"Um, excuse me," Tobi interjected, hitting his fist against his forehead. His head was starting to ache.

"Could you not talk as if it's normal? From other people's point of view, Shiratama-san just sounds like she's mumbling to herself..." Tobi requested.

"I'm sorry, I couldn't help it," Shiratama apologized, dipping her head slightly.

"But wouldn't they think I was talking with you, Otogiri-kun? Or maybe they would think I was talking to you without any response," Shiratama pondered.

"That would be strange in itself," Tobi replied.

"Then please talk with me. If you did so, that would settle everything," Shiratama insisted.

"...Aren't I already talking with you?" Tobi questioned.

"By the way, what's your answer to that question?" Shiratama pressed.

"...Like I said, it's too early..." Tobi replied, becoming aware of his worsening posture. He couldn't help but feel that they were drawing the attention of passing students in the hallway.

"Anyway..." Tobi started to say, but paused.

Or rather, they were definitely attracting attention. And it was because of Shiratama. Of course, it was.

"Why?" Tobi asked.

In response, Shiratama blinked rapidly. "What do you mean by 'why'?"

"...Like, why do you want to be friends with me? What's your reason, or well, your motive?" Tobi clarified.

"That's because Otogiri-kun is Otogiri-kun," Shiratama answered.

"Huh? What do you mean...?" Tobi questioned.

"Do I need to explain?" Shiratama asked.

"If possible. If you could tell me in a way that even I can understand..." Tobi requested.

"Let me make you understand," Shiratama nodded, furrowing her brows slightly. She stopped in her tracks, causing Tobi to take another step and stop as well.

Shiratama stared at Tobi with a gaze that seemed to captivate him

, not letting go.

"Could I have a few minutes of your time? If it's alright with you, during today's lunch break. I can't talk about this topic unless there's no one nearby," Shiratama proposed.

Tobi was vulnerable to that gaze. It bothered him; he couldn't simply ignore it. He couldn't look away.

"...Alright. I don't mind," Tobi finally agreed. What else could he do?

Right after the mealtime, the special classroom building was deserted. Tobi agreed to meet Shiratama at the external emergency stairs. As he sat on the railing of the landing between the second and third floors, Shiratama opened the door and climbed up.

Something felt off to Tobi. It was because Shiratama had a bag on her shoulder. It wasn't the standard schoolbag. Was it called a pochette? It was even smaller.

"Hello," Shiratama greeted politely as she reached the landing.

"Ah... yeah," Tobi replied vaguely, a little taken aback by Shiratama's excessive politeness.

"So, what was it again... your motive? The reason why Shiratama-san wants to be friends with me?" Tobi asked.

"As they once said, the proof is in the pudding," Shiratama replied.

"Well... yeah, that's true. There is that kind of saying," Tobi acknowledged.

"That's why I brought her along," Shiratama said, lifting her bag and opening it.

"Come on out, Chinurasha."

Could it be that Shiratama was calling out to something inside the pochette? If so, that would be quite eccentric, to say the least. Tobi had thought she was odd, but he never imagined it would be to this extent. He started to worry about Shiratama. Was she alright? Or perhaps, there was a small creature like an animal inside the pochette. In that case, it would be an incredibly problematic behavior. Bringing small animals to school was not allowed, and even Tobi understood that. But it seemed like that was exactly what Shiratama had done. Something crawled out of the pochette.

"Hm..." Baku let out a small voice.

See? It was indeed a small animal.

Considering its size, the inside of the pochette must have been cramped. It shouldn't have fit comfortably. However, it appeared quite fluffy, so maybe it could unexpectedly fit into spaces that seemed too small.

Was it a cat? A kitten? That wasn't it, right? Hah, "right," I mean, that wasn't it.

The creature had horns growing out of it. Obviously, cats didn't have horns. It was a small animal, with two horns—did such a creature exist? That kind of creature?

Tobi didn't think it was recorded in the animal field guide at the facility. He had been to the local zoo several times for facility events, but he didn't remember ever seeing a small animal with horns. Then again, it was possible that such an animal inhabited some corner of the wide, wide world, unbeknownst to him. Or maybe it was a baby horned animal or something.

Right after the creature got out of the pochette, it began climbing up Shiratama's body. It wasn't nimble, but it wasn't clumsy either. It seemed quite used to the movement. After reaching Shiratama's right shoulder, it turned to face Tobi.

Did it have eyes? He couldn't see them. Maybe they were buried in its fur? Despite that, he felt something like a gaze.

"Chinu, say hello," Shiratama called out to it.

The creature cocked its head, tilting it diagonally. From within the fur, a tiny, extremely small mouth poked out.

"Yu—"

"Uyu—"

"Kuchyu—"

Tobi heard something like that. Were they the creature's cries?

"......Hi," Tobi instinctively bowed his head.

Shiratama scratched Chinu—or Chinurasha's—chin with a finger.

"Good girl."

"Oi, Tobi—" Baku whispered.

"No way you haven't noticed, right?"

"...Eh? What?"

"That thing's not normal."

"Well, it... it seems to be a rare animal. It has horns and everything."

"That's not it."

Baku seemed irritated. Aside from being able to talk to Tobi, Baku was basically just a large backpack. However, he sometimes opened all by himself when he got unruly. It wasn't like the zipper unzipped. Tobi seemed to be the only one who could see it, but it was like the zipper part turned into a mouth and opened.

Just like right now.

"Don't you understand, Tobi?! You're such a dense guy, dammit!"

Baku spoke, his mouth snapping open and shut. He seemed more agitated than annoyed now.

"Chinu is..."

Shiratama brought her right shoulder up and rubbed her cheek against Chinu.

"Something only I can see."

"......But—"

He could see it.

Tobi could. Clear as day.

Chinu seemed quite attached to Shiratama. Chinu rubbed her head against Shiratama's cheek as well and narrowed her eyes in content. She let out low cries of "hyuru—," "yuu—," "uu—," or rather, they seemed to spill out of her uncontrollably. Chinu's horns struck Shiratama, but it didn't seem to cause pain. At least, Shiratama wasn't in any pain. Maybe the horns weren't hard enough to pierce the skin.

"We're the same!" Baku spat.

He seemed pretty unenthused about it. Or maybe, Baku hadn't come to grips with it either.

"Tobi, you were the only one who could hear my voice. And Shiratama Ryuuko was the only one who could see Chinurasha's form. It's not totally the same, but it's similar, isn't it?!"

"...So— Shiratama-san can hear Baku's voice, and I can see Chinu."

"That's right."

"Hn?"

Tobi furrowed his brows and brought his fist against his forehead.

"...So, this is—What does this mean? Huh......? What is... what's happening..."

"Honestly, I have no idea either," Shiratama said nonchalantly.

"I had noticed a while back that Otogiri-kun was talking to Baku-chan because I could hear Baku-chan's voice. Otogiri-kun and I were the only ones who could hear Baku-chan's voice. I thought that had to mean something special."

"......Special—"

Tobi shook his head helplessly.

"I mean, it might just be abnormal..."

"Me and Otogiri-kun are the only ones who are abnormal?"

"Well... it's more plausible than me and Shiratama-san being the only normal ones..."

"Just a second, Oi, Shiratama Ryuuko!"

Baku interjected, this time properly unenthused.

"Stop using -chan to call me!"

Shiratama looked at him blankly.

"Baku-chan?"

"That, yes, that! It makes my skin crawl. It does not fit me at all. It's gross!"

"I'm sorry."

As Shiratama tilted her eyebrows apologetically and bowed her head, Chinu made the same pose.

That's cute...

Tobi was startled as the thought flashed through his head.

By the way, the one he thought was 'cute' was Chinu. To be exact, the phenomenon of Shiratama and Chinu doing the same action at the same time.

"Then, 'Baku-san'?" Shiratama asked.

"Ahemm!" Baku cleared his throat.

"Adding -san doesn't feel too good either. How about you just call me Baku?"

"What're you being so snobbish about..."

Tobi wanted to throw Baku away. Baku retorted back immediately.

"How am I being snobbish? I'm saying it's okay to call me without honorifics, you know. If anything, isn't she the humble one? Huh, Shiratama Ryuuko?"

Shiratama nodded. Chinu did as well.

"Then I shall call you Baku."

"Yeah, that's cool. I'm not good with formal stuff anyway."

"I also wouldn't mind it if Baku called me 'Ryuuko'."

"Of course, that's what I'll do. 'O-Ryuu' or something might be good too. Mmm, it's not bad. How about it?"

"I don't particularly mind it, so please do as you please."

"In that case, it's decided. O-Ryuu."

"Yes."

"...You guys are becoming more and more friendly by the minute."

"Really? Are you jealous, Tobi?"

Baku chuckled with a "kekeke."

"Don't worry, man. Even with O-Ryuu around, our relationship won't change."

"Our... twisted bond, you mean?"

"I said it's not twisted!"

"Then what kind of relationship is it?"

"It's the kind of relationship that's hard to put into words. If I had to say, we're 'partners'?"

"Chinurasha and I are also like partners."

Shiratama smiled and looked at Chinu.

"Right?"

"She doesn't talk to me like Baku talks to you, but she stays by my side. Chinu and I have always been together."

"Just a question, Shiratama-san, if I hadn't been able to see Chinu, what would you have done?"

"Then it would have definitely been..."

Shiratama pursed her lips and puffed out her cheeks slightly.

"I suppose you could call it a difficult situation. A poor middle school student, pretending as if there were a small animal there..."

"Isn't it a relief that I could see Chinu..."

"To be honest, it was a gamble. But I thought, 'maybe Otogiri-kun could see it too.'"

"Everything worked out in the end, didn't it?" Baku said casually.

But if Tobi had been in Shiratama's shoes, he probably wouldn't have taken such a risk.

Maybe there was something wrong with him.

Tobi had questioned that countless times. It was not normal for a backpack to talk to him.

He could hear things that others couldn't.

He could see things he shouldn't have been able to see.

Were these delusions? Perhaps there were abnormalities in his brain. Maybe he had a mental illness. He had even considered getting it checked by a doctor.

Tobi suddenly felt weak. He felt as though he was about to slip from the railing. Why was he so tired? It suddenly became clear to him.

It's not just me.

Tobi felt relieved. It wasn't an illusion.

Baku was real.

He wasn't a product of Tobi's imagination.

He truly existed.

"...Baku's voice, which I could hear, Shiratama-san can hear as well. Chinu, whom Shiratama-san could see, I can see too. Those things that other people don't seem to see—"

In that case, could Shiratama see them too? The things that cling to people, the strange kinds...

Tobi gathered his courage and asked Shiratama.

"If that's the case... can Shiratama-san see them too? The ones that attach to people, the peculiar ones..."

Shiratama met Tobi's gaze firmly.

Then, she slowly nodded.