HanTsuki:Volume 1 Chapter 3

Chapter 3: The Road to the Turret Mountain

1

The night...

After the lights were turned off, the ward was embraced with pitch-blackness; only a bit of light struggled its way through the windows uncovered by the curtains. Under the white weak light, everything looked cloaked with damp radiance. The patterns resembling ghosts and monsters on the ceiling, the hot kettle and the cup on the table, the oxygen supplier written with the big word OXYGEN, the edge of the bed with its paint falling off—everything felt unreal, as if I had entered a fantasy world.

I couldn’t sleep any bit. This was reasonable, as I had recently become a complete nocturnal creature. Impossible was it for me to sleep at this time. Sitting up, I stared blankly at the mountain of pornographic books, Tada’s inheritance, beside my bed. We have a saying: “A tiger leaves its skin behind when it dies.” What the old pervert left was these, and to me also. I had wondered why it was I, but I couldn’t come to a conclusion because, perhaps, his ward was adjacent to mine, or I was still seventeen-year-old.

I took one and had a look, though what I believed it to have was crap and just some nude girls. When I flipped through the pages, my expectation was right. The whole book was full of nude pictures—from the first page to the last page. Tada should be eighty by now, yet he still collected a lot of this stuff. I let out a laugh of dismay. Tada, you’re such an idiot! I laughed, thinking, he was such a laughable idiot.

It was at this time that an inexplicable power befell me. That power was stimulating some corner in my heart—no, it was stimulating some corner of me as a human, and exciting more power there. It was turbulence, a turbid flow, as well as a torrent. Its strength could flush everything away. First, I was puzzled; then, I understood. It was perhaps the power Tada had sent into my body, or perhaps a power that had long been dormant in some part of my body, which Tada had awakened. I had long been escaping this power and its usage. A more fitting example would be a deliberate aversion of my attention. But since the power had suddenly risen in my body and shouting continuously at me, “Wake up. Wake up now! Man does not know when he will die! If you hesitate, everything might come to naught! Wake up, you idiot. Can you hear me? Till when will you stop escaping?”

I balled my fists on my right hand, yet inexplicably my whole body was pumped with power, without a slight sense of tiredness.

“Good,” I murmured, taking my phone to the balcony.

Although it was prohibited to phone in the hospital, the rules were less strict when I was at the balcony.

※ ※ ※ ※ ※

Rika hadn’t yet fallen asleep.

“What’s the matter...”

She looked at me, completely surprised.

It was embarrassing to sneak into a girl’s ward usually, but now I was forced by some formless power, so I took it easily and calmly. The power descending from above lightly moved my arms and legs exactly like manipulating a doll.

“Let’s sneak out of the hospital!”

“What?”

“Didn’t you say you could prepare yourself mentally if you go to the Turret mountain? If this is the case, then it’s simple! Let’s head to the Turret mountain.”

“Now?”

“We can only sneak out in the night! We have to do it now.”

In the dimness, Rika looked very petite, as if she was about to melt into the dim background behind her. She was about to vanish, yet she was still here where I could touch.

“We have a scooter anyway. You only have to be the passenger.”

“...”

“Let’s go, Rika!”

“...”

“Didn’t your father the one who took you there ten years ago? This time, it’s me.”

Rika stared at me flatly. Belied in those eyes was a strong power. Every time she eyed me like this, I would immediately avert my eyes. But now, I could take on this mysterious power with ease.

“I’ll go,” said Rika, at last.

Embedded in her eyes was some kind of radiance.

“Take me there!”

※ ※ ※ ※ ※

“Who is this person?” asked Rika, vigilantly pointed at Tsukasa in fear.

Tsukasa lowered his head politely, “H-Hello.”

I called Tsukasa here, for I need a helping hand. He was a real friend, as he had run in the middle of night to the hospital without any of my explanation on the situation. On a side note, Tsukasa was wearing a tiger mask widely known in Japanese wrestling. He said his older female cousin worked as a nurse in this hospital, so he wouldn’t want to reveal his identity. Nevertheless, I reckon that even when he could cover his face, he couldn’t cover his extravagant body.

“This guy is my friend—tiger-masked man. He’s a messenger of justice.”

Rika still looked upwards at Tsukasa with suspicion.

“Okay, let’s hurry,” I declared, as there was no point trying to get around with these trivial matters.

With me at the front, Rika following behind me, and Tsukasa at the back, we advanced long the corridor. Although we had intentionally avoided the nurses’ patrols, we still had to be vigilant. The most difficult stage was the appalling ten metres. There were no special night entrances in the east hospital wing, so we could only, as usual, use the entrance in the west hospital wing. We had to pass through the special, long slope made for wheelchairs in order to get anywhere. We were now walking along this difficult, long path. The medical station facing opposite to the slope had its bright lights turned on. Luck was the thing we had to rely on. We had to look out for the nurses in the medical station, as they could be looking at us any moment.

We had the special luck. I told myself as I advanced. After all, Tsukasa had gone through here just then.

“Listen carefully. Keep your body low, and walking on our knees. Don’t turn back,” I said softly.

The tiger-masked man and Rika nodded in unison.

“Okay, let’s go.”

Having seen them nodding, I dashed frontwards in a gulp, but I couldn’t be too quick, as I was bringing Rika along with me. The appalling ten metres felt much longer than usual.

A chill crept over my back. It had to be some premonition.

“What do you think you’re doing!”

When we were halfway there, we heard Akiko’s voice.

“Hey. Stand right there.”

Rats! We’re found!

In a scurry, I shouted, “Run!”

We dispelled our way of walking on our knees and started to run normally. Rika was the only one I had in thought. When I turned my head, I saw her dashing with the greatest speed she could pull off. I didn’t know whether it was fine for her to do that, but Tsukasa, on the other hand, was certainly fine. Behind Tsukasa was Akiko, looking at us in fury, running towards us imposingly. And a cracking sound came from a distance not afar.

“Yuuichi! Stop now!”

I-It was horrifying—too horrifying.

Akiko jumped from a high position on the slope, and at that instant, everything seemed to be played in slow motion. Akiko, descending from above, stopped Tsukasa. Although Akiko tried to evade him, Tsukasa’s large arms extended and ceased Akiko’s pursuit. Flashed in Akiko’s eyes were dangerous rays. Before everyone knew it, a wheezing sound shot through the air, and Akiko had shot a blow on Tsukasa’s thigh with a loud, painful Thai kick.

Cringing, Tsukasa knelt down in pain.

“Ah. Tiger-masked man!” Rika cried.

I pulled Rika’s hands forcibly.

“Rika, let’s go now.”

“But, tiger-masked man, he...!”

“Don’t worry. He’s the messenger of justice!”

“B-But...”

At that moment, Tsukasa, kneeling on one of his knees, showed a sign of cheering for us with his left hand; His right hand forced a big thumb, exactly like an authentic wrestler. Then, with that pose, Tsukasa grinned.

His words had directly been sent into my heart...directly sent into my heart.

They would definitely be sent to Rika’s heart as well.

“Let’s hurry!”

“Y-Yeah!”

We ran for our lives with increasing speed. Crying and moaning sounds were heard from our backs.

“Hey! Stop gripping on my feet!”

“N-No. I don’t...but...I’m sorry!”

“I’m telling you to let go! Let go now!”

The sounds sharpened instantly.

“Didn’t I tell you to let go?”

Bam. Boosh! The sounds of bodies colliding were heard.

Guahh! Tsukasa moaned.

“Woah. Let go already!”

“Sorry. Sorry!”

Kuah. Kuah.

“You’re so persistent! Can’t you hear me? What’s wrong with your hand?”

“I’m sorry. I’m really sorry!”

Splat! Guaghh!

Without turning my head, I didn’t know the details of what happened, but they should be having quite a fight. Every time Rika and I heard depressed sounds and Tsukasa’s moaning sounds, we would grasp one another’s hands tighter. Some kind of power was filling the inside of me. Rika was definitely experiencing the same feeling.

Stood in front of the night entrance was a scooter. On top of it were two safety helmets. As I got onto the scooter, I was impressed by Tsukasa’s meticulous preparation. In fact, the scooter was his brother’s, and he took the risk by bringing it here without his brother’s permission.

Having sat on the front seat, I did my best to squeeze more backseat space. Pointing to my back, I said, “Get on now,” and put on a safety helmet. Then, I started the engine.

“Hold on!”

The engine vibrated and howled, sounding like the thumping of a heart.

“Is this all right?”

Rika’s thin hands embraced my waist. Her fingers were tightly clasped somewhere around my bellybutton. She couldn’t have been applied with perfume yet she smelled wonderful. As my neck felt the Rika’s warm breath, my brain as well as my body was numbed from infatuation. My heart thumped. I couldn’t help swallowing. Deeply I wanted to just turn my head around and embrace Rika and to bury my face in her glamorous hair and her soft neck. Of course, let alone that sort of crazy feat. Even if I could pull it out, Rika would kick the hell out of me if I did that. While I was holding onto the scooter’s handle, I remembered Tada and had a thought: Real girls are great. Yeah, they really are. The ones in pornographic magazines are nowhere competent.

“Let’s go.”

“Yeah.”

Giving the throttle a push, the scooter vibrantly shook the night air resoundingly. The two small tyres glided along the asphalt road, advancing on their way. As such, we began our journey.

Perhaps, the permanence of our journey was marked with an ending point.

2

The wind was chilly. The safety helmet I was wearing was not the ones that would cover my whole head but only the ones that crowned my head. Two green lines ran over the helmet, with the imprinted words, “Shimada”. Anyway, the blowing, chilly wind soon froze my face. Still, I didn’t care a bit. Rika’s hands were still clasped around my bellybutton, and the touch of he arms felt certain. I could feel Rika behind me as well as her warmth. Therefore, I didn’t care a bit.

In the night, the village was deadly silent. The only sound was the engine of our scooter. The various objects in the scene fleeted one after another in seconds. Under the dim background of the night, the red signal lamp ticked and flashed, standing in an eerie posture beside the electric pole on the road as well as the numerous electric wires piercing the air. Steel gates closed, the shops in the shopping street gave no hint of a living soul. The supermarket closed down for several years had windows with countless broken glasses scattered in the supermarket’s parking lot, reflecting the blue and white moonlight.

That place was once a photo studio before it became a supermarket. It had already been ten years since then. When I was still in primary school, my father often asked me to buy photographic plates. My father’s hobby was photography back then. Only when he was playing with his camera did my stupid old father look like a serious person. When in a good mood, he would even allow me to touch his camera.

“Listen carefully: don’t break it.”

He would remind me softly, placing the camera in my small hands. In my nervous hands, the Nikon felt heavy. Even till now I could still remember that touch.

Once we had passed the station, I called, “We’ll be at the foot of the mountain in around ten minutes!”

...but the words coming out of my mouth sounded like...

“Wheels be at the footage duh fountain in a round stem knees!”

My lips were frozen, unable to speak properly.

“What are you saying?” Rika asked loudly.

Wearing the safety helmet that covered her whole head, Rika seemed to have maintained her lips unfrozen.

“We’re almond dare!”

‘We’re almost there’ was what I wanted to say. I had no idea whether she could understand what I had said, though, but she seemed she could, as she nodded.

I gave the throttle a stronger kick. Speeding wasn’t an issue now since I didn’t have a driving license to begin with. Besides, the two of us were sitting in this scooter. Right, we were done for should we be caught, for we were violating any rule outlined. So I decided to travel at full speed to the Turret Mountain, as it seemed the best strategy.

I drove into the curved road gingerly as I paid attention not to swing Rika out of the scooter. I had to decelerate, but my hands, ungloved, were frozen and numb, and my reaction at the moment was slower by half a second. The speed felt a bit too fast, and a cold streak of nervousness streamed from the depths of my heart. Rats. I couldn’t turn back. Rika sensed it as well. She clasped her hands tightly around my waist. Nevertheless, we managed to pass the curved road. The back tyre slipped and made an annoying wheezing sound.

The fear that crept onto my heart after the episode pushed a breath of relief into me.

Rika cried loudly, “You have to be careful!”

“I know!”

But, truth be told, I didn’t.

When we finally reached the foot of the Turret Mountain, the facts proved that I really didn’t. The Turret Mountain, formally called the Dragon Head Mountain, was a small mountain of around a hundred metres high. There was a path leading to the peak, which was quite an easy, soothing path. Yet the path wasn’t paved. Our scooter could go up, but we had to keep our speed minimal. As a local, I was certain of this. Therefore, once a road with scattered pebbles appear in front of us, I would tell myself, “Okay. We’re there. It’s about time we decelerated.” The only problem, however, was that my numb hands couldn’t turn my thoughts into action immediately.

It’s bad. The scattered pebbles were getting closer. I managed to move my hands, but I couldn’t employ any force. Helpless, I gripped onto the handle and forcibly grounded the car to a halt in slowing speed. As a result, before the speed had dropped to the expected level, our scooter had rushed into the pebbled road. And at that moment, the front tyre knocked into a fist-sized rock.

We were bound to display a fascinating front-wheel-soaring stunt!

In the blink of an eye, everything was turned upside-down: the sky and the ground; the darkness of the night and the light of the moon. When I had returned to my senses, my body was thrown into mid-air. That instant was unbelievably long. Well, how did this happen? I believe we had crashed. Rika would be fine, I guess. No, I had to catch her in the air as soon as possible. I had to protect her. There were about three other things I thought of before I landed. Of course, I failed to catch Rika in the air.

As my back was hit heavily, there was some time I could hardly breath, only able to roll and moan loudly in pain.

When I had managed to stand up, immediately I began to search for Rika, only to see her kneeling down five metres away from me.

“Rika!”

I ran to Rika impatiently.

Seeing my face, Rika cried in a voice about to tear up, “You idiot! I thought we would be dead!”

“So-Sorry! Are you hurt? Are you fine?”

“I don’t know.”

Taking off her safety helmet, Rika stood up slowly. She twisted and moved her body parts to check her body condition. Although her face was twisted together in pain, her other body parts seem to still be able to function.

“It looks fine, but that place feels painful.”

“What a relief.”

I let out a sigh, but subsequently my heart jumped frantically—The left knee part of Rika’s pajamas was long dyed in bloody red.

“Rika. Your knees!”

“Eh?”

Rika only noticed her wound after being reminded. After curling up the lower part of her pajamas, Rika had her thin legs exposed. There was a large cut on her kneecap, though not to the extreme of cracking, still, it appeared like a serious cut on muscle layer made from a collision. Blood copiously flowed from the cut; its dazzling red colour fazed me.

Drip. Red, fresh blood slid along her white skin and dripped.

“Y-Your blood is flowing out...”

What the heck had I done? Rats. Sucker. I really was a super, helpless idiot.

“It’s fine,” Rika, however, said.

She took out a handkerchief from the pocket in her jacket to wrap her kneecap. Certainly, despite this, blood kept on flowing affluently.

Still, Rika stood up.

“Okay. Let’s go.”

“But...”

“It isn’t that painful.”

Liar.

“Yuuichi. It’s you who told me that you would bring me there.”

“...”

“Are those words lies?”

Embedded in Rika eyes were radiance. Perhaps it was the same stuff as the miraculous, growing power in my body.

“All right. Let’s go.”

Nodding, I slowly walked to the scooter. It was lying there, its two wheels spinning and cracking in thin air. Maybe the scooter was broken. I placed my hands on the handle, praying deep down from my heart: Please. You have to move.

If it was broken, our journey would end here. In normal situations, it was already impossible to let Rika, who had a feeble body, to climb to the peak. Now that Rika’s leg was hurt, all we could do was to give up, stop short, and even ask Akiko for help, should the scooter fail to operate. When this thought sprung to my mind, something in my abdomen twitched to a ball.

Move! I prayed, while turning the throttle.

Kugugugugugu!

Followed by sharp sounds, the back wheel spun in the air vigorously. It was fine and didn’t break. We could continue our journey!

Bearing the pain from the bruise in my arm, I lifted the scooter. Then, Rika and I bestrode on it.

“Don’t crash this time.”

“I understand.”

Prudently pushing the throttle, I drove forward slowly. There were skid marks left by passing cars, and obstacles like pebbles were much less. I chose to follow the skid mark left, but a pebbled road was still a pebbled road. Once the scooter ran over a larger pebble, the scooter would sway in unstableness. And at these times, Rika’s arms around my waist would hold me harder. At first, I thought she did this from fear. But later when I heard her moaning sounds, I knew the reason was different.

She did this from the pain induced in the cut of her leg. Rika’s cut was perhaps more serious than I had imagined. Let’s just head back. This thought just came to me naturally. Nevertheless, I immediately casted it away. I couldn’t just call things off at the middle here. I had to think of ways to get to the peak; otherwise, it felt as if our future would collapse in the same way.

The half moon hung in the sky, emitting a dazzling and glittering brilliance. Nearby was the Sirius. Every time we went through a curve in the path, the half moon would appear at the right and then at the left, or the front and then the back. Anyhow, the moon always kept our company.

The road was embraced in a body of dark green. It was complete darkness. It felt as if the road we were passing through was the only zone belonging to humans. In this long and endless time, we remained silent, concentrated in staring frontwards. Before our eyes wasn’t a typical mountain road but our future. It was the rightful future we put our utmost to approach, to pursue, and to finally grasp.

A while later, I remembered Tada.

3

It happened a great long time ago. I still remember it was the time when I was still prohibited to meet guests. Back then, I wasn’t adapted to living in the hospital and wasn’t capable of sneaking out of the hospital. Anyway, I was bored to death. Staying in the ward of prolonged periods of time had nearly suffocated me, putting me in distress. It felt exactly like living behind the bars in a jail. As such, I wanted to breathe some fresh air outside and often ran to the rooftop. On one day, when I went to the rooftop as usual, someone was already there—Tada. He sat beside the water tank, facing the sun. He looked like a large tortoise bathing in the sun. Upon seeing me, he would grin and smile, much like a large tortoise.

“Son,” he would call me, “do you have a girlfriend?”

He kicked off our conversation with such a question. I bet everything in his mind was just girls.

I was stumped by the question.

“N-No...”

...or should I say...

“I didn’t have the opportunity...”

I remembered myself murmuring such words. Back then, I didn’t really have a chance to chat with my grandfather, so I was completely ignorant on how to get along such creatures called old people.

A that time, Tada must have been laughing silently in his heart.

“Argh! How can that be? Isn’t this too lonely?”

“Hahaha. Yes.”

“How about Akiko?”

“What?”

Hearing his shocking words, I couldn’t help making a sound.

At those times, I had already known deeply of Akiko’s scariness. The day before that, I was dripped by her three times in a row. Not to mention, when I was playing on the wheelchair, she threw me as well as the wheelchair upside-down, seriously injuring my waist. Sometimes, when I was curious and stretched my hand into a morgue to peek, she would sandwich my head with the door and bully me. That woman knew no limits to her torture.

“No thanks,” I rejected melancholically, remembering the pain in my wrist, waist, and head.

Seeing me like this, Tada smiled.

“She’s more than the looks. She has her adorable aspects.”

“A-Adorable?”

“Yes, very adorable.”

What was this old guy spewing? Or was it that the word ‘adorable’ meant differently in Tada’s old place? Perhaps the people there would say ‘adorable’ when they meant detestable’ or ‘abominable’.

“Akiko’s really a nice lady.”

“Oh...”

“My first love was a girl like Akiko. It dated back to the times wen Japanese A6Ms were chasing America’s B29 bombers. Right. It was around Showa 17 to Showa 18.”

It surprised me to hear Tada talking about stories all of a sudden, but after listening further, I found the story quite good. Tada’s first love (who was said to resemble Akiko) was the daughter of the leader of a distinguished village—old Ms. Tome. No, back then, Tada wasn’t yet an old tortoise but an real, living teenager—Kura. Therefore, Ms. Tome had to be a pretty lady at those times. Anyway, Tada and Ms. Tome fell in love with each other. Allegedly it was an intense and feverish love. Because of the disparity of their social status, this type of love was rare in the society. The two of them had to find meeting opportunities by sneaking into shrines or toilets, comforting their souls through these discrete moments. When departing, they would, reluctant to leave, have their watery eyes soaked in tears. It was also alleged that Tada was filled with passion and eagerness to safeguard the love he and Ms. Tome shared. By the way, there was a time and age of A6Ms, bamboo rifle, the daughter of the leader of a distinguished village, Tome, and Kura. It was an exploding age. It was inexplicable to hear that these things happened only fifty to sixty years ago. Or should I say I was stumped. Things like the leader of a distinguished village were extinct in this day and age.

“But...” said Tada, his face now drawn with wrinkles, “our disparity in social status was too huge after all.”

On one day, Ms. Tome was married to a navy captain. The marriage was completely arranged by her parents, paying no single heed to the daughter’s will. An even shocking thing was that, on the day following their marriage, the captain went to the front lines. Allegedly he came back safely, but the whole thing was odd and messed up. If he had been dead, what should Ms. Tome, crying in tears dismally when being married, do? Wouldn’t she immediately become a widow?

“This departure was the worst I had to withstand in my entire life!”

Moved, I nodded in awe at Tada’s words.

“Yes. It sounds really desperate.”

The story was quite touching, pushing me to the verge of my crying. Right. At that time, I still hadn’t understood that Tada was a super, extravagant liar. In retrospect, whether there was someone called Ms. Tome remained a mystery. Even if there was such a person, I wouldn’t think they had the relationship Tada talked about. Wouldn’t fishermen claim their lost fish bigger than what they actually were? At least this was what I reckoned, for Tada said this afterwards: “Son, if you meet a lady you favour someday, don’t hesitate and charge right up. Also, don’t give up. Men have to be determined. If you give up, you’ll just lament for the rest of your life.”

Maybe, Tada hadn’t told Ms. Tome what he really wanted at that time. Probably he gave in for the disparity of their social status. Then, he lamented...lamented even to his eighties. Of course, this was only my personal imagination.

“Listen. You have to stand strong till the end. Only with this in mind can you get through any predicament in your way. If you give up and do nothing, then you’re the biggest idiot ever.”

Wasn’t the idiot he was talking himself? On a side note, why do adults around me like to say these lines? At that moment, my father’s lines rang in my mind: “You’ll meet a girl you love in the near future. Listen carefully: you have to safeguard her.”

It was still autumn, and the air not yet chilly. The vague, blue sky stretched far and wide into the horizon. The contours of the clouds were indistinct, probably because of the rain yesterday. The heavy air felt damp, clinging to some watery smell. It was an autumn encouraging the desire to eat Pacific Sauries. Tada, still vigorous and living back then, was gone now.

4

The moon, flashing and sneaking up on us intermittently, moved in an exactly prearranged fashion. Before I had come to my own senses, I had already softened the push on the throttle. The scooter decelerated slowly, the sharp, intense engine sound being devoured by the surrounding silence and blackness, returning to utter silence.

Taking off the safety helmet, I let out a breath I had been holding onto for a long time.

“What’s it?” Rika asked me.

“We’re there,” I replied.

“What?”

“We’re there—the mountain peak.”

It was a space with a diameter of around twenty metres. Blue and white pebbles tightly covered the ground, and there even were a few cars parked around. s When the engine stopped, the world immediately sunk into silence. Since it was the winter, we couldn’t even hear bugs buzzing. On the peak without a single roadside lamp, we entered complete darkness; only the silver, white moonlight shown on the world.

“Is this the peak?” Rika’s voice hinted desperation.

“Is the peak like this?”

The place shown by the moonlight was an empty parking lot, probably different from what appeared in Rika’s memory.

Getting off the scooter, I said, “Five years ago, after reparation work, this had become the peak. Nevertheless, there’s still a small road to go from here to there.”

“Is that place really the peak?”

“Yeah.”

“Is it far from here?”

“No. Let’s go.”

Hanging the safety helmet on the rear mirror, I stretched out my hand, and Rika held onto it. Holding hands, we began to walk. She was staggering, the knee part of her pajamas dyed in crimson; the blood seemed still flowing out. Rika’s face would often twist in pain, but we didn’t stop. Without any hesitation, we entered a path resembling a monster’s intestine. The winter in this city wasn’t that cold, as the warm current flew from the south. Yet today was exceptionally chilly. The breaths we heaved froze right in front of us, leaving a streak of whiteness bathed in rays, which, after painting a mark upon our eyes and our hearts, faded gradually.

We continued forward, our hands clasped together. Our footsteps, one by one, marked our advance. We didn’t take too much time, around ten minutes. Should Rika’s feet unwounded, we would need less than five minutes presumably. Once we brushed away the leaves of the fir trees, which still maintained their bright, vivd green colour despite of the winter, a fascinating site met our eyes. The new open site before us were much smaller than that we were before, about just half of that. This place was untouched, though, and the weeds were everywhere, the branches and bushed growing in all directions upon their own wills.

I stopped walking.

“This is the real peak.”

Rika continued to look around.

To the right...and to the left.

To the right again and to the left again.

Finally, her stare landed on something right before her: a black object lying there. Staggering, she approached the object. Remaining silent, I followed.

That object was the fort. Rika rested her hand on the archaic concrete mash.

“I’ve seen this.”

“Is this the place you and your father came? Is this it?”

“Yes. My father also lifted me up here at that time.”

While I was still wondering whether the darkness of the night had subsided all in a moment, the whole word was embraced in a dazzling glow. The closely packed leaves became more vivid in the light. The weeds grew tall and packed. The flashing sunlight sprayed endless rays on our heads—it was summer back then.

In front of the black fort, the father and the daughter stood shoulder to shoulder, both of them drenched in sweat. The father even had a towel around his neck. The daughter was wearing a refreshing aqua-blue dress. The daughter, the young Rika, stretched her short arms eagerly to hold her father, and her father stretcher his hands under Rika’s shoulders, lifting her petite body to the blue sky. Rika happily smiled; the smile was glistening with glee. Rika’s small legs reached the concrete-made large fort. It was really a large one. The strong summer light shot straight at the archaic fort and Rika, drawing a clear contour of them, their shadows, on the ground. When the wind blew, Rika’s fine hair would sway along. Her father would stare at her, squinting his eyes as if the wind was hitting his eyes. Rika kept her happy smile.

This fantasy vanished in an instant. When I came back to my senses, the chilly winter air again surrounded me. I, instead of Rika’s father, was along with her.

It was I.

“Rika,” I made up my mind and said, “do you want to go up and have a look?”

“Ah...but...”

“It’s fine. Don’t give me this look. I’m still a young man.”

“Ah!”

Without letting her to reply, I had already held Rika. She was heavier than I had imagined. If I told this to her, she would definitely be infuriated. Hinging on the determination as a man, I lifted Rika up onto the fort stand.

“Rika. Hold that side with your hand.”

“Hm. Okay.”

Sigh. In the end, Rika had to go up with her own willpower. Following her, I grabbed onto the edge of the concrete mash. Stepping on a crack on the wall, I endeavoured to go up.

Once on the stand, the entire village laid below our eyes.

“It’s beautiful.”

“Yeah.”

It was a tiny, really tiny village—a world completely secluded. I knew this place.

For some time, both of us kept silent, staring at the village in front of us. This way of observation showed the beauty of this place, but perhaps since it was bathed in the moonlight, it was reeking with a vague, dreamy ambiance. The fire-alarm tower and the wondrous old station were left here. The large building in the front was the cultural exhibition. I could also see some contours of the shopping street completely left desolate today. The side at the station bounced off silver rays from the moonlight. Situated at the heart of the village was a great, vast darkness—the forest of the Ise shrine.

“Eh. Yuuichi,” said Rika, at last.

“What? What’s it?”

“Thanks.”

“W-What do you mean...”

I was a bit flustered to hear her gratitude. It was the first time I heard something like “thank” coming out from Rika’s mouth. I thought she was pulling a prank again, and I braced myself for it, yet what awaited me was Rika’s genuine, simple smile.

“I have prepared myself mentally.”

“Ah?”

“The preparation for death.”

She still had that genuine smile.

“Now I can die in satisfaction.”

At that instant, I felt I fell into the depths of darkness. Until now did I realise everything was on the wrong pages. Rika standing on the rooftop appeared in my mind: “I really want to go there and have a look.” This was what Rika said. “If I do so, would I be mentally prepared as well?” At that time, I didn’t put much thought into what “mentally prepared” meant. I just listened and looked at the certain and positive part of that voice. Perhaps it was the mental preparation for the dangerous operation, or perhaps the mental preparation to keep living.

The truth was different, however. Rika came here to consolidate the mental preparation for death, the mental preparation to give up her life. I stared at the smiling Rika and stood up. I wanted to say something, but couldn’t say a word. I had worked so hard, troubling Tsukasa and getting rid of Akiko, but what I had done was just letting Rika to be mentally prepared for death.

The half moon glittered. So did the Sirius.

“Did my father come here harbouring the same feeling? My father was here as well...”

When she stopped speaking halfway, something rolled down from her eyes. This something, holding the moon, thus shining, slid down from Rika’s soft cheeks. These glowing pearls spilled endlessly. Cringing sounds sneaked out of Rika’s mouth. There had to be some meaning within Rika’s tears: her father’s death, the memories of her going up this mountain, her heart, the operation...

Now, perhaps Rika were impotent to withstand all of these. I laid my hand on Rika’s head. Words were useless. I could only gently stroke her swaying, beautiful hair. Again and again I stroked. Rika leaned near me. I had stopped thinking. My body acted naturally. Tightly I embraced Rika’s body. Rika, when held within my arms, felt much more petite than I had imagined. This petite body was sorrowful.

The half moon glittered. So did the Sirius. The brightness shone upon us.

When the wind blew, Rika’s hair would sway along. Her strands of hair reflected the silver moonlight, shimmering. I could barely smell the aroma of shampoo.

For a long time, Rika just cried incessantly.

“The Ise shrine is huge.”

“Yes, but there’s another one to be counted as part of the Ise shrine.”

“Eh? Why’s that?”

The one in front of the station is the outer shrine. The other one is...look, it’s there. Isn’t there a zone especially dim? So as to speak, that one is the real Ise shrine. It’s called the inner shrine.”

We sat on the fort stand, casting our gaze on the village, chatting stuff about the village. Though what we chatted were trivial matters, we were delighted.

“Why are there two same shrines?”

“I don’t know too. That’s what it is.”

“Won’t it become confusing?”

“Maybe. But anyhow, both of them are called the Ise shrine.”

“How odd.”

Having cried for a while, Rika became quite lively. Nevertheless, signs of sorrow that hadn’t been wiped were still stained on her cheeks. Every time I noticed them, I would remember the feeling of having Rika in my arms and her petite body.

“Hey. Yuuichi.”

“Yeah?”

“Why did you take me here?” Rika’s eyes were still damp. “To sneak out of the hospital and anger that nurse...won’t you find much trouble for yourself?”

She was right. I would meet a dismal end, bound to be killed by Akiko upon returning to the hospital. When this came in mind, a chill would creep over my body. In spite of this, I told Rika optimistically, “My father told me that I had to safeguard girls.”

The truth was different, however.

“You’ll meet a girl you love in the near future. Listen carefull: you have to safeguard her.”

This was what he really said. What the heck? I really staunchly followed my father’s advice. My cheeks felt a bit hot.

“Oh. Your father really speaks reasonable advice.”

For our surroundings were dark, Rika seemed not to have caught me lying.

My face should have been red and puffed by now.

“Not quite. My father’s very irresponsible. He drinks and gambles. He had truly been a sucker.”

Rika was a smart and bright girl, and she noticed my subtle way of expressing myself.

“Had been?”

I tried to make it clear and simple: “He was dead long ago. He destroyed his body with alcohol.”

Sometime back then, when I went out to play in the midnight and came back, Tsukasa once said to me, ““I think it’s a wonder why you, even knowing that Rika is so unruly, are willing to keep her company.”

At that time, I intentionally interrupted Tsukasa’s words, for I knew very clear what that bloke wanted to say.

Rika’s father and my father had passed away. This kind of ambience and this kind of similar experiences hold us together, for our ‘fathers’ were replaced by ‘the deceased, unable to be at our sides. This fact was residing in both of our hearts.

At that time, I didn’t want to acknowledge this...

Because of my stupid father, I would be attractive to Rika.

Because of my stupid father, Rika would hold a special feeling towards me.

By no means did I want to acknowledge this.

Since a small age, I hated my father, for whatever my father did would make my mother cry. Back then, I should have a special loving relation with my mother. Anyhow, to the young me, my father was no different from an enemy.

Then, when I had the power to resist, my enemy plainly left. He was really a guy who left after winning.

My father’s voice still rang from the depths of my heart: “You’ll meet a girl you love in the near future. Listen carefull: you have to safeguard her.”

What a truly dumb father, dying carelessly. What privilege had he earned to deploy me?

“So that’s why you brought me here.”

The smile faded away from Rika’s face.

In some strange way, I felt her expression hinted regret.

“You brought me here because you haven’t a father as well, Yuuichi.”

I thought I heard a screeching sound, a sound exactly the same when Tsukasa approached me with kittens in his arms. Probably it was the sound made from wheels turning in the wrong direction.

She had mistaken. Rika seemed to have mistaken for something. Although I wasn’t sure or it was or probably I wouldn’t want to make sure of it, there was, indeed, something mistaken. Now, something slipped from my hands.

I put my all to remedy this. I held her hands firmly.

“No. No! This has nothing to do with that! It doesn’t mind what business I had with my father...It’s that...I...”

I had to tell her: you have mistaken. At the beginning, both of us were interested, for we hadn’t our fathers, thus having the same ambience. But now things were different. This was not the only reason I would do this. I would never, for this reason, dare to drive Akiko nuts and run all the way here. There was something much more important residing in some sector of my heart that...

“I’m...I...”

“Yuuichi?”

“I...”

Weird. I felt dizzy, my head reeling. A strange and heavy weariness grew in my body. The power that had driven me onwards till now seemed to have disappeared suddenly. I felt I was about to kneel down, my vision sliding subsequently. Although my knees abruptly hit on the fort stand, I felt no pain. Rika called my name, and her voice left me gradually.

This was as far as my memory could manage to record. My consciousness was cut off then with a banging sound.

Translation Notes

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