Fate/Zero:Act 13 Part 4
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When Irisviel opened her eyes again, the first thing to fall into her sight was the light of the setting sun that dyed the high windows of the underground storage a sheen of crimson red.
Since she lost consciousness, she had been immersed in a deep sleep and felt as if the entire day had disappeared. Rather than sleep, this gradually shattering body might as well be described as going into a near death state.
But it currently seemed fine for her, as if resting for such a long time had some effect after all. Although she still didn’t have enough strength to sit up, she could at least gather enough breath to speak.
Irisviel looked to her side, and discovered Hisau Maiya was still sitting at a corner of the room, still as a painting. It was at the same place and with the same stance as she had had before Irisviel fell asleep. However, the blade-sharp look emitting from her eyes had not a sliver of exhaustion or fatigue. She was simply looking blankly into air.
While looking at her gave a feeling of reliability, she could also have been easily mistaken as a familiar or robot. Even Irisviel couldn’t help but have a certain degree of fear towards her. Just what kind of training and how strong a will does she have, to maintain such a degree of focus? It was unimaginable.
With some awe, Irisviel suddenly realized – this woman called Hisau Maiya may have achieved a state above the realm that Kiritsugu pursued.
“– Hey, Maiya.”
Irisviel called softly. Like a hound that suddenly heard its calling trumpet, Maiya immediately turned her eyes towards Irisviel.
“Why… do you fight for Kiritsugu?”
“… Because I have nothing else.”
When she realized that her charge was not in any pain or discomfort and just wanted to chat, Maiya relaxed her taut nerves a little and answered after a short pause for thought.
“I can’t remember anything concerning my family or my name. This name, Hisau Maiya, was given to me by Kiritsugu when he made my fake passport.”
“ – Huh?”
Seeing the surprised expression on Irisviel’s face, the end of Maiya’s mouth twitched in a small smile. For her, who has absolutely no emotions discernable from her face, this was already the maximum she can do to show her relaxed mood.
“All I could remember was that it was a very poor country. There was no hope, there was no future. All that were left were communal hatred, and fighting over food in order to survive.
War will never end. There were no funds left to maintain armies, but the mutual slaughter continued without a moment’s pause… no one remembered whose idea it was, but at that time someone decided it was faster to get children to go to the frontline with guns than to hire soldiers and train them.”
“…”
“Therefore, I don’t remember anything before I had a gun in my hand. I could only keep killing others to prolong my own life. Snipe my enemy, press down the trigger; that was the only function left in this human being. Everything else was discarded… the children who couldn’t do that were all killed by those children who could. I lived on aimlessly just like that, until I met Kiritsugu.”
As Maiya spoke, she lowered her head to look her at hands. Those long slender fingers had no feminine gentleness, but were only comparable to sharp weapons of murder.
“As a human, my heart had already died. Only my external organs still functioned, maintaining my human behaviors. The person who picked me up and kept my ‘life’ was Kiritsugu, therefore he can use my life in any way he wishes… that is the reason I’m staying here.”
Although Irisviel had long predicted Maiya was someone with a tragic past, those things that she now said far surpassed Irisviel’s initial imagination.
Irisviel was silent and didn’t know how to respond. This time, it was Maiya who opened her mouth and questioned instead.
“– Oh?”
Irisviel never expected Maiya to say something like this, and couldn’t help but feel surprised.
“You’ve always lived in such a secluded castle and known precious little about the outside world. Why would you support Kiritsugu, who vowed to change the world, to such a degree that you would be willing to sacrifice your own life…?”
“I –”
Maiya’s words once again made Irisviel sink deep into thought.
Emiya Kiritsugu, her husband, the man with the dream of ‘saving the world’. After knowing that what he sought is the Holy Grail hidden within her own body, would her current self still have the same ideal as him?
“ – True. To be honest, I don’t understand Kiritsugu’s ideal all that much.”
Yes, her answer was – negative.
“At the end, I probably only pretended to understand. Maybe it was just to stay together with the person I love. Like you said, Maiya, I know almost nothing of the world Kiritsugu wants to change. The ideal in my heart was probably merely something that Kiritsugu taught me.”
“… Do you think that?”
“Mmm. But please keep it a secret from Kiritsugu.”
This was an incredible feeling for Irisviel. She had said, in front of this person, words that she would never say in front of her husband.
“No matter what time times may be, I would tell him I firmly believe him to be right. I can even sacrifice my own life for his ideal. I pretended that I possess the same ideal as him. If I have the same ideal as him, and give my life for that ideal – compared to a woman who simply sacrificed herself for her husband, wouldn’t I become less of a burden for Kiritsugu?”
“I see.”
Her love for Kiritsugu and her trust in Saber were two completely different feelings. For Irisviel, this feeling of relying on someone, which she was feeling for the first time, can probably be called ‘friendship’.
“Then, madam, don’t you have any wishes of your own?”
As she was again asked this question, Irisviel couldn’t help but remember the battle she had faced together with Maiya in the forest. At that time, before Kotomine Kirei’s enormous and overwhelming presence, just where did the surge of her fighting spirit come from?
“I probably do have… a wish. I wish Kiritsugu and Saber can obtain victory. I wish they can gain the Grail.”
Of course, at the same time it would mean Irisviel’s death, her eternal farewell with Kiritsugu.
However, even so, this wish – became the fountain that provided the heaving courage in Irisviel’s heart.
“Is that… the so-called wish of the Einsbern family, the achievement of the Third Magic?”
“No. I don’t mind even if we don’t reach the Greater Grail. What I hope for is to end the war forever. It’s the same as what Kiritsugu seeks; to change the structure of this world, and end all fighting. This battle for the Holy Grail at Fuyuki City would be no exception, wouldn’t it?
This is already the fourth time, and I wish this will be the last Heaven’s Feel. In terms of homunculi sacrificed as the vessel of the Grail – I hope I will be the last one.”
“Mmm.”
Illyasviel von Einsbern. A creature that gathered all the great achievements of alchemy within her, born from the womb of a homunculus and conceived with the sperm of a magus. Although she hasn’t seen her with her own eyes, Maiya had heard of her existence long ago.
“It was the plan of the head of the family. For the ‘protector of the Grail’ after me, he planned to use a homunculus with even greater mechanisms. He didn’t only implant the secrets of the Holy Grail into the embryo, but also added Magic Circuits to her outside and made her physical body able to become the vessel of the ‘Grail’ by itself.
The head of the family had already predicted the possibility of ‘the Fifth round’ before the ‘Fourth’ Heaven’s Feel began, and he allowed be to give birth to Illya. If Kiritsugu and I fail, then that child would become the experimental specimen for ‘the Dress of Heaven’.”
At this time, Irisviel’s voice was full of the gentleness of familial love.
This was the concrete evidence the homunculus called Irisviel was not simply a created machine. She has the heart of a human, the benevolence of love, the smile of happiness and tears of sadness. The warmth swelling in her heart is the most important part of being human.
“While I held that child and fed her… I was also very much aware that this child wouldn’t escape the destiny of becoming a ‘vessel’ at the end. Can you understand the feelings of a mother who felt endless despair when looking at her beloved child?”
“…”
Maiya was silent and didn’t answer. Irisviel continued.
“However, that is the destiny carried by the homunculi of the Einsberns. Be it that child, or my granddaughter, this sorrow is tasted again and again every time a daughter is born. This fate will be repeated every time the Fuyuki Holy Grail descends.
Therefore, I hope this pain can end here with me, using my body to end the stubborn wish of the Einsberns. If my wish can be fulfilled, then my daughter will be freed from this tragic destiny. That child would probably be able to live her entire life as a human, and have nothing to do with the Holy Grail.”
“Are those the feelings of a mother?”
Irisviel only realized she just exposed too much of her feelings when Maiya asked this. She gave an embarrassed, bitter smile.
“Perhaps. Maybe you find it hard to understand, Maiya.”
“Not too hard. I’ve also been a mother, myself.”
“– Huh?”
It really was a surprising reply. Irisviel almost doubted her own ears.
As if feeling slightly apologetic for surprising Irisviel so, Maiya recounted evenly with a calm tone.
“I… actually experienced pregnancy and delivery, although it could be said that it was an accident.”
“… Were you married once?”
“No. I don’t know who the father is. During battle, every night in the barracks, the male soldiers would come to all of us the female soldiers and… I can’t remember when it started… anyways, I became pregnant soon after I became a woman.
That child wasn’t even given a name, and I don’t know if he’s still alive. If he hasn’t died, then he must still exist in some remote corner of that battlefield, fighting for his life. The children there are all given guns and sent to battle when they turn five years old.”
“How can it…”
When she heard this former child soldier in front of her recounting the tragic stories of the past, Irisviel couldn’t help but feel stunned.
“Are you surprised? But such things are definitely not new in this world, isn’t it? Modern terrorists and guerrilla warfare groups all know the benefits of using children as soldiers, and early successful examples such as I also serve as evidence. Therefore, children who share my experience did not decrease in the modern age, but rather increased.”
Maiya recounted silently as her eyes seemed less and less alive. Sorrow and hatred also gradually disappeared from her voice. Perhaps the only thing left in her memories was endless despair.
“Madam, you perhaps thought this world, which you saw for the first time with your own eyes, very beautiful, and envied those happy people who live in this world. However, I am very envious of you, who always lived in that castle. You did not experience any of the terror and ugliness of this world.”
Although there were no feelings of jealousy or hatred in Maiya’s contemplation, Irisviel felt rather embarrassed upon hearing it.
Maiya seemed to detect Irisviel’s feelings, so she continued.
“If such a world can really be changed… then no matter how Kiritsugu chooses to use my life in order to achieve this, I will not say a single word of refusal.”
But I don’t know how to do anything apart from fighting – Maiya muttered softly to herself. There were no exaggerations in this sentence. Without goals and without hope, her heart was as desolate as a fire-ravaged barren field.
Although her inner feelings were completely different from Kiritsugu’s, they were amazingly similar as soldiers. Maiya’s existence constantly served as a reminder to Kiritsugu, and at the same time provided him with an example. Because of Maiya’s existence close to him, Kiritsugu had sealed himself within this dilemma, and made himself into a completely merciless and cruel hunting machine.
“What… do you want to do after Kiritsugu achieves his wish?”
When Irisviel asked this, Maiya’s eyes once again became confused.
“– I never imagined I’d be able to complete this task and live. If I really managed to stay alive, then I have no reasons to keep living. There shouldn’t be any place for me in the world changed by Kiritsugu.”
A world without war has no place for someone like her, someone who knew nothing except combat. For Maiya, it was the logical conclusion.
Such melancholic and sad feelings made Irisviel speak out.
“No, that’s not true. Maiya, you still have things you have to do after the war finishes.”
“…”
Irisviel continued speaking while staring at the confused eyes of the female soldier.
“You must search for your family and your own name, and the whereabouts of your child. They are things that shouldn’t be forgotten. They are things that should be remembered.”
“Is that so…”
Contrary to Irisviel’s passion, Maiya’s reply was full of emotionless nonchalance.
“If we really can usher in a world without war, then the memories of people like me would be nothing short of nightmarish. Remembering them would only make me more painful. Would you want me to bring the seed of hatred into the utopia that we’ve finally created?”
“That’s not true. Your life wasn’t a dream. There are all facts that really happened. A peace created by burying all these memories in the darkness of the past is nothing but a sinful lie. I think a truly peaceful world shouldn’t simply forget those past pains. Instead, we should solemnly remember those previous pains and sacrifices, so we won’t go down the same sad road and can thus create a peaceful new world.”
“…”
Maiya gazed at Irisviel silently – then, she spoke after her face seemed a little bit more relieved.
“You should have said these things to Kiritsugu earlier. Had you done that, maybe he’d already obtained salvation.”
Maiya’s heartfelt words brought joy and loneliness both into Irisviel’s heart.
Perhaps – as she was on the verge of destruction, she won’t ever have the chance to chat with her husband again.
“– Then, Maiya, I entrust you to bring these words to him. Tell him I said it.”
Maiya replied with a vague shrug of her shoulders.
“I’ll do as I see fit. But that’s to come after the war finishes. We shouldn’t be careless for now.”
Although Maiya’s tone was very cold, Irisviel still heard the playfulness Maiya put into her words.
“Really, you’re just –”
The underground storage suddenly began to shake violently before Irisviel finished speaking.
Maiya rushed next to Irisviel and held her shoulders, and quickly switched to battle mode. Her gaze became as sharp as a blade, and she grabbed the light machine gun with her right hand and aimed at the iron doors of the underground storage.
The underground storage shook once again. This time, the thick and heavy iron door deformed with a violent impact from the outside, as if someone outside was powerfully banging on the door of the underground storage. It was a terrible feat only managed through the use of a mechanical crane. For the two of them, who were participating in the Heaven’s Feel, it wasn’t something worthy of surprise – rather than surprise, they only felt despair.
If it were really a Servant who’s currently attempting to charge into the underground storage, then Maiya’s weapons would be completely useless against it. Moreover, they can’t even escape in the current situation, and they’re truly trapped at a blind end.
However, before the terror, what first passed through their minds was a disbelieving confusion.
Who could have known that Irisviel was hiding – within this underground storage?
The protective barrier should have detected any familiars arriving or clairvoyance being used. However, the enemy did not undertake any reconnaissance and directly sent the Servant to Irisviel’s safe house with such accuracy; could it be that the enemy had learnt of this place a long time ago?
A third shockwave. Before the iron doors were destroyed, the earthen walls around it could no longer take such a powerful impact and collapsed first.
Together with soaring dust, the iron doors fell into the underground storage. The setting sun shone in through the doorway, dying the room a shade of bloodstained red.
And that giant figure looming over the debris and dust was undoubtedly – Servant Rider, King of Conquerors, Alexander.
Maiya could only hold onto the light machine gun in her hands with utter despair.
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