Editing Clannad:Image text (Story)

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// 俺たちは登リ始める。
 
// 俺たちは登リ始める。
   
This long,
+
The long,
 
// 長い、
 
// 長い、
   
This long, long uphill slope.
+
The long, long uphill road.
// Polarem: Using "slope", as it's a recurring image in the game
 
// Prev: The long, long uphill road.
 
 
// 長い、長い坂道を。
 
// 長い、長い坂道を。
   
Line 49: Line 47:
 
// 俺たちは登っていく。
 
// 俺たちは登っていく。
   
This long,
+
The long,
 
// Re-use the file from SEEN0414
 
// Re-use the file from SEEN0414
 
// 長い、
 
// 長い、
   
This long, long uphill slope.
+
The long, long uphill road.
 
// Re-use the file from SEEN0414
 
// Re-use the file from SEEN0414
 
// 長い、長い坂道を。
 
// 長い、長い坂道を。
Line 64: Line 62:
 
//---------------------------------------------------------------
 
//---------------------------------------------------------------
 
This suitcase has traveled around the world.
 
This suitcase has traveled around the world.
  +
// Alt: "That suitcase"?
 
// その鞄は、世界中を旅してきた。
 
// その鞄は、世界中を旅してきた。
   
Line 77: Line 76:
 
// たくさんの人の手から手へ、
 
// たくさんの人の手から手へ、
   
Passed from one hand to another...
+
From one hand to another...
// XCN: I think it should be made explicit by saying "Passed from", because there's no mention of people anywhere else in the paragraph, and it feels a little off.
 
 
// 大切に託されてまた...
 
// 大切に託されてまた...
   
Line 91: Line 89:
 
この鞄を見つけたら、どうか娘に届けてください。
 
この鞄を見つけたら、どうか娘に届けてください。
 
// If you find this suitcase, please take it to our daughter.
 
// If you find this suitcase, please take it to our daughter.
  +
// XCN: In the anime, this is written in English, on the front of the envelope holding the letter. (Not correctly though; they spell it "Suitscase" ;) I guess that changed from the VN?
 
// Polarem: Probably an animators' oversight :-P This is KEY's version, which they rendered (correctly) in English
 
   
 
//---------------------------------------------------------------
 
//---------------------------------------------------------------
Line 122: Line 119:
 
// 友達を見つけなさい
 
// 友達を見つけなさい
   
Don't rush things, and grow up slowly
+
Don't rush things and grow up slowly
 
// 焦らずにゆっくりと大人になりなさい
 
// 焦らずにゆっくりと大人になりなさい
   
Line 297: Line 294:
 
// Tomoya in depression
 
// Tomoya in depression
 
//---------------------------------------------------------------
 
//---------------------------------------------------------------
  +
I am living like an automaton... // *
My life goes on mechanically.
 
 
// Alt 1: I live mechanically.
 
// Alt 1: I live mechanically.
  +
// Alt 2: My life goes on mechanically. --Polarem
// Orig: I am living like an automaton...
 
 
// だた、惰性のように生きていた。
 
// だた、惰性のように生きていた。
   
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// The following 6 lines are found in the same image file, but displayed separately in the game.
 
// The following 6 lines are found in the same image file, but displayed separately in the game.
 
// The XML metadata file will have to be edited to account for the different lengths of the English text.
 
// The XML metadata file will have to be edited to account for the different lengths of the English text.
  +
"Yeah..."
 
"Yes, let's go..."
 
// Polarem: I finally realized that this is the response to the previous 2 lines. Took me long enough x_x
 
// Orig: "Yeah..."
 
 
// 「ああ...」
 
// 「ああ...」
   
Line 359: Line 353:
   
 
Which we shared with the emotions of this town...
 
Which we shared with the emotions of this town...
// Alt: Where we shared in the emotions of this town...
 
 
// 町の思いに連れられて...
 
// 町の思いに連れられて...
   
Line 377: Line 370:
 
// FGMS35.g00 -- FGMS41.g00
 
// FGMS35.g00 -- FGMS41.g00
 
// SEEN6803, after 0312
 
// SEEN6803, after 0312
// Epilogue: Fuko finding the girl under the tree
+
// Epilogue: Fuuko finding the girl under the tree
 
//---------------------------------------------------------------
 
//---------------------------------------------------------------
 
// This text is white, to be displayed on a black background
 
// This text is white, to be displayed on a black background
Line 384: Line 377:
 
// 「いますか」
 
// 「いますか」
   
"This is Fuko."
+
"This is Fuuko."
 
// 「風子です」
 
// 「風子です」
   
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// 「教えてください」
 
// 「教えてください」
   
"Be Fuko's friend, and let's play together."
+
"Become Fuuko's friend so we can play together."
// Prev: "Become Fuuko's friend so we can play together."
 
 
// 「風子とお友達になって、一緒に遊びましょう」
 
// 「風子とお友達になって、一緒に遊びましょう」
   
  +
As for something fun... // *
From now on...
 
  +
// Alt: From now on... // Rearrange the final 2 lines? --Polarem
// Orig: As for something fun...
 
// XCN: I'd use the alts, or rephrase.
 
// Agreeing with XCN, the alt translation sounds better. The other sounds like an awkward fragment. -Komari
 
// Polarem: Done!
 
 
// 「楽しいことは...」
 
// 「楽しいことは...」
   
There will be lots of fun!
+
... that will begin right now. // *
  +
// Alt: There will be lots of fun! // Whichever way, we need an exclamation mark to end the game with a bang --Polarem
// Orig: ... that will begin right now.
 
// Whichever way, we need an exclamation mark to end the game with a bang --Polarem
 
 
// 「...これから始まりますよ」
 
// 「...これから始まりますよ」
 
</pre>
 
</pre>

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