Boku wa Tomodachi ga Sukunai: Volume 4 Sisters

Sisters

It was the day after our final exams had ended.

It was a weekday, but that didn't stop me from sleeping in until noon, and after eating lunch I spent my afternoon reading manga and playing video games in my room.

The way Chronica Academy works, is that after final exams we get the last five days of September off to recuperate.

I'm guessing the teachers are pretty busy grading tests, because they didn't give out homework like they did for summer vacation.

In other words, this was a true break from school.

I've spent the past few days completely focused on my tests, so I doubt anyone can complain if I take a day or two to just laze around and relax.

I sent a text out to everyone in the Neighbors Club letting them know I'd be staying home today.

By the way, Chronica Academy's middle school division and high school division have tests on the same days, so Kobato was with me here at home too.

I got so lost in my lazing around that it was almost dinner time before I knew it.

I felt a little bad that I spent the day doing basically nothing, even though I'd already told myself it wasn't a big deal.

I figured if I was this lazy all day, I might as well at least put some effort into dinner. So, I went out to the grocery store to buy some things to make dinner with, and was now standing in the kitchen.

I managed to find some chicken meat on sale today, so I guess we'll have that.

"Kukuku... I smell the aroma of some truly delectable blood in here..."

A short while after I'd started cooking, Kobato came into the kitchen with a string of drool hanging down her mouth, most likely lured in by the smell of the chicken being fried.

"I'm almost done with it, today's is gonna be good."

"Kukuku... I await an offering befitting one of my status..."

Kobato did that ridiculous chuckle again.

And, right after she did,

Ring ring ri~ng Ring ring ri~ng.

The intercom started ringing.

I wonder who it is.

"Hey, Kobato, go get the door for me. If it's someone asking us to subscribe to some newspaper just tell them we don't need it, ok?"

I had to ask Kobato since I can't just leave this chicken sitting here.

"Kukuku... It is no trouble at all to handle something of that level with great magic such as my own, kukuku..."

"Yeah, I dunno if you'll need magic or whatever, but just send them away."

"Ok."

In the time it took Kobato to head over to our side of the intercom, it rang three more times in rapid succession.

People really like to be annoying with doorbells, don't they...

As I thought that to myself and continued cooking, I heard Kobato yell,

"No thank you!"

Really loudly into the receiver.

So it was just a salesman?

However, he must not have wanted to give up, because a second later,

"No thank you!"

I heard Kobato yell the same thing again.

It's best if you can cut these guys off right away, but this guy must be persistent...

"No thank you!...... No thank you!...... No thank you no thank you!"

"Are you deaf!? I said we don't want you here! Now go away!"

What the heck is she doing...

I went to look over at Kobato to see what was going on, and when I did,

"You moronnnnn!"

Kobato yelled into the receiver again all of a sudden, hung up in a hurry, and ran over to the front door.

"Hey, ehh!? H-hey! Kobato!?"

Going out there in person is just what he wants you to do!

I had no choice but to quickly turn off the stove, and chase after Kobato.

"Ah! Onii-chan!!"

When I arrived at the front door, Maria, who Kobato was trying to hold back, slipped past her, took off her shoes, and jumped at me.

"Maria!?"

"Ahaha, Onii-chan! Onii-chan's here! Ahaha!"

W-why is Maria!?

"Uuu, An-chan... I told her 'no thank you'! She came in even though I told her 'no thank you'! What kind of idiot comes in after you say you don't want them here..."

Kobato looked like she was about to cry.

Looks like Maria was the one Kobato was yelling at over the phone.

"...Hey, Maria, why are you at our house?"

I asked, still confused by the whole situation, to which Maria energetically replied,

"I ran away from all my material possessions!"

Material possessions? Does that mean she just joined the priesthood?

Or maybe she meant she's changing religions to Buddhism now...?

"Be more specific, what do you mean?"

"I mean I ran away from home!"

"Just say so in the first place then... Wait, you ran away from home!?"

"Yeah!"

Maria nodded with a big smile on her face.

"Why would you run away from home..."

"Because the old hag never shuts up about work!"

"The old hag... Oh, Kate-sensei?"

"Yeah! I told her Onii-chan wouldn't be a jerk and make me work all the time, and she told me 'Go and live with your precious Onii-chan then!'"

"...And you actually did."

"Yeah!"

What an honest answer.

Maria stared at me with sparkling eyes full of so much faith in me that she didn't think I'd ever turn her down.

But I can't go and let her just live here...

As I was deciding what to do, the phone started ringing.

"......Uhh, wait here a second."

I went back into the living room, leaving Maria and Kobato where they were.

I then picked up the receiver.

"Yo, it's me man. You know, me."

I thought about hanging up immediately, but stopped because I recognized that voice.

It was just the person I needed to talk to.

"If you don't mind, could you please stop with the stupid jokes, Kate-sensei?"

"Oh, ding dong~ It's Onii-chan's little sister, Kate-chan here~ Oh, you don't have to be so stiff with me either~ Talk to me like you'd talk to your little sister!"

It was Sister Kate on the other end of the line, aka, the person who told Maria "Go and live with your precious Onii-chan then!"

"Fine."

I decided to ignore the part about talking to her like a little sister, but it was clear I didn't have to talk to her like a teacher either.

She might talk like a weird old man, but she is technically younger than me.

"Anyway, more importantly, Maria came over to our house."

"Yeah, I know~"

"The heck, you knew? What do you wanna do then?" I asked.

"I'd like it if you could let her stay there a day or two. If she's too much of a pain you can just throw her out though~"

"She wouldn't really be a..."

Pain, is what I was about to say, but then I heard her and Kobato yelling back and forth at the front door.

"You sure she won't be a pain?"

"...Well, I don't see the problem in letting her stay while we're on break."

"Thanks Onii-chan! I love you!"

"Shut up."

Ca-lick.

Anyway, that's how Maria ended up staying at our house.

☺

I finished making dinner about 30 minutes after Maria arrived.

Uohhhhhhh~~!!

Maria let out a shout of joy with her eyes bugged out after she saw me line the food up on the table.

As she frantically looked back and forth between me and the food, she said,

"Why!? Why why why!? Ehhhh!? Whyyy!? Wh- Wh- Why why!? Uohh!?"

I don't know why she keeps asking "why!?", but she certainly seems to be excited.

"...Shut up, stop saying 'why' you moron."

Kobato said as she sat in her chair with a frown on her face.

Our table was a long one, but it was a little tight since all three of us were sitting on the same side (Maria was on my right, and Kobato on my left).

Kobato usually sits across from me, but she brought her chair all the way around once she saw Maria sit down next to me.

By the way, tonight's dinner consists of chicken patties, fried chicken, chicken rice, and chicken salad.

As I said before, I got a lot of chicken meat for cheap, so I based dinner around that.

The demi-glace sauce on the patties is a secret weapon I developed over the years, but I think they'd be good even without the sauce, and it goes good with either bread or rice too.

I was thinking we could just eat the leftovers tomorrow, but now that Maria's here it should be just enough for three people.

"Ahaha! Why is there so much here!? Is it Christmas!? Onii-chan, is today Christmas!?"

Maria said while her eyes darted around, looking at all the food lined up on the table.

"How could it be Christmas in September?"

I did put more effort than usually into dinner tonight, but it's not that special.

"This much and it's not even Christmas!? Uwahh, why why why!?"

"Hmph... What an irritating pawn of God... This is exactly why you commoners are so troublesome..."

Kobato glanced over at Maria before she picked up her chopsticks and started to reach out for some food.

"Heyyy!"

"Fgyah!?"

Maria reached out all of a sudden and smacked the back of Kobato's hand.

"Wh... what'd you do that for ya' retard!?"

"We have to pray before we eat dinner!"

Maria said something very sister-like for once.

"Kukuku... We are a clan of the darkness... We do not pray to something as trifling as God..."

"Kobato. Not praying is fine, but say 'thanks for the food' like you're supposed to."

"Uu~"

Kobato pursed her lips at my scolding, and mumbled "...thanks for the food," before sticking her chopsticks out to grab a piece of fried chicken.

"Ehe~"

The second she took a bite of it, that frown she'd had on her face this whole time melted into a happy smile in an instant.

She finished it off in no time at all, and reached out for another one.

"Ah! That's not fair! Let us pray. Bless us, O Lord, and these, Your gifts, which we are about to receive from――"

"Munch munch munch munch"

Kobato devoured the fried chicken as Maria offered her prayers.

And the second Kobato stuck her chopsticks out for the piece right in front of Maria's eyes,

"Gyahhh poop Amen!"

Maria cut herself off mid-prayer, quickly stuck her chopsticks into a piece of the fried chicken, and shoved it into her mouth.

"Uhoooo! Sho goood!"

Maria happily yelled with her mouth full of fried chicken.

"Ya' didn't even finish your prayer!" Kobato complained.

Then, as she grabbed a new piece of fried chicken, Maria said,

"I-it's fine! I'm saving the poor fried chicken from getting taking by an evil vampire!"

"Ya' big cheater!"

"I'm not cheating~!"

Thus, they began devouring dinner like it was some kind of competition.

The fried chicken were disappearing before my eyes, and they were eating the salad pretty fast too.

As for the chicken rice, rather than scoop some onto their plates like a normal person, they were hovering over the big plate it was on, practically butting heads as they ate.

I'd put a chicken patty on each of our plates, but for some reason they ended up stealing each other's rather than eating their own.

It looked like I wasn't going to get to eat at all at this rate, so I quickly said my 'thanks for the food' before securing some chicken rice and fried chicken on my plate.

But, as I did, the living room phone rang.

After telling Kobato and Maria, "Hey, you two, mind your manners while you eat," I stood up and went to grab the receiver.

"Haa haa... O-Onii-chan, what color underwear are you wearing right now?"

"Just tell me what you want."

I coldly said, since I didn't have the time to go along with her stupid jokes. It was Sister Kate who'd called again.

"Ah, well, it's nothing big really~ Did you guys already eat?"

"Yeah, we're actually eating right now."

I answered, while glancing into the dining room. I really need to get back to the table before those two little beasts eat everything.

"Oh, would you mind telling me what you're having?"

"What we're having? Umm... Fried chicken, chicken patties... chicken rice, and chicken salad."

"I see. Make sure you tell Maria to eat her vegetables too, ok? Onii-chan."

"Sure."

I then hung up the phone.

Looks like it really wasn't anything big after all.

...By the time I'd hung up the phone and returned to the table, the fried chicken had already been annihilated.

Even the pieces I'd put on my plate were gone.

"...Who ate my fried chicken?"

""She ate it!""

All I could do was sigh at the two of them, pointing at each other with their mouths full of food like two little hamsters.

☺

After we finished eating, Maria kept on following me around as I washed everything, looking all around the kitchen and dining room.

"Hey, Maria, you having fun?"

I asked, a little curious, to which Maria replied "Yeah, this is fun!" with a big fat smile on her face.

Well, if she says it's fun then I don't really mind, so I continued washing the dishes.

"Oh yeah, Maria, how'd you know where I live? Actually, how'd you even get here?"

I asked, realizing how weird it was that she made it here.

It's pretty far from our house to St. Chronica Academy. I have to ride the train and the bus to get there. I don't think a 10 year old little girl could find her way out here that easily.

"I rode the train and the bus!"

Maria answered, full of energy.

"Oh...? I'm impressed. You didn't get on the wrong bus or anything?"

...Incidentally, there's a guy who got on the wrong bus and was late the first day in this very room.

"It was fine, since the old hag came with me!"

"...That's quite the original way to run away from home."

What kind of runaway leaves with somebody from the same house they're running away from...?

Just then, the phone rang a third time.

I turned off the faucet, and walked into the living room.

The caller was Kate, yet again.

"You guys done eating now?"

"Yeah."

"Did that little weasel eat her vegetables?"

"She chomped 'em up."

She ate the salad, the meat, the rice, and my food too.

"I see~ That's fine then. Talk to ya' later~"

She hung up.

I don't get why she keeps incessantly calling me to check up on Maria when she's the one who brought her here in the first place.

By the way, Maria was looking up at me the whole time I was on the phone just now.

She kept following me around, even after I went back into the kitchen.

I finished the dishes while thinking that having her follow me around like a little puppy was kind of fun.

Right after I was all done with that,

"Kukuku... Fellow clansman... You shall join me in my merrymaking..."

Kobato, who had been watching TV, said to me after walking into kitchen.

She was holding the case for one of her video games in her hand.

"What, you wanna play some games together?"

Kobato nodded at my question.

"OK, that's fine with me."

I didn't do anything else today, and it'd be nice to play some video games with Kobato too, since I haven't in a while.

"Yay! ...Kukuku... Watch as I mystify you with my beautiful techniques..."

Kobato happily put the disc into the PS2, and started up the game.

The game was "Kurogane no Necromancer Magical Hyper Battle 3"―― It's the previous game in the series to the one I played at Sena's house.

"Kukuku... An-chan, you shall use controller two..."

Kobato handed me the controller, and sat on the sofa with her own.

After the company logo came the title screen filled with a bunch of different magical girls, along with the voice of one hyper-energetic girl saying "Kurogane Necromancer~! Magical Hyper Battle~!" as she read the title out loud.

"Ohh, I know about that! This is one of those eroge!"

Maria said while looking at the PS2 and TV.

"I-it's not an eroge!" Kobato said, blushing.

"It's not!?" said Maria, looking at me.

"Yeah, this is just a normal game. Where did you even hear about erog-..."

I stopped myself halfway because the answer was obvious.

"So this is different from the ones Sena and Rika are always playing in the clubroom?"

"They are. They're completely different."

"Oh!!"

"Wanna try it out, Maria?"

When I held out the controller to Maria, who was brimming with curiosity, she happily replied "Yeah!", before taking the controller from me and sitting down next to Kobato.

"Mu... No mere foolish human is fit to be my opponent..."

"What was that!? You don't know until you try!"

"Kukuku... Very well, then tremble in fear before my great powers of darkness..."

Kobato picked her character once the selection screen came up.

"Hmph, I'll beat you to a pulp with my holy power! Onii-chan, how do you use this thing!?"

Asked Maria, who seemed to have no knowledge whatsoever about video games, while staring at the controller curiously.

☺

Kobato and Maria began their battle after I taught Maria the basics on how to play.

"Uohh!"

"Kukuku..."

.........

"K.O.! Perfect!"

As for the result, Maria was, naturally, annihilated by Kobato, who's been playing the game for a long time now.

Her opponent had never even held a controller before today, but that didn't stop Kobato from beating the crap out of Maria.

She's so childish, I swear...

"Fueh? I lost? Did I lose?"

"Kukuku... Behold my power..."

Kobato gleefully laughed at Maria, who was still confused.

"Ughh...! One more time!"

"The result will be the same no matter how many times you try... You would do well to lament your own weakness and fall into the depths of despair..."

Maria picked a different character, and Kobato met her with the same one as before.

I watched a few matches between Kobato and Maria (Kobato won them all) before leaving the living room and getting the bathtub ready.

"Hey~ Time to take a bath..."

"Kuhahaha, allow my special attack to send you into an eternity of darkness!"

"Gyahhh! That move's not fair!"

...They didn't look like they were gonna be done any time soon, so I took my bath first.

☺

They were still going at it when I got back from my bath.

"Darkness Requiem!"

"Kyaaa!"

It looks like they just finished a match. Kobato's character, the Magical Girl of Darkness, Gernica, just fired a blast of magic at Maria's character, The Knight of Light, Carol, who let out a scream as she fell.

"Kukuku... yet another victory for me..."

"Grrr, I almost won too..."

Maria groaned in frustration at Kobato, who had just beaten her.

I looked at their HP bars, and saw that Kobato's was down to about half.

Ever since the first match that I saw, Kobato had been getting near-perfect wins every time, but it looks like Maria's been getting better while I was away.

Anyway, that aside,

"Hey~ It's time for you two to take a bath. Who wants to go first?"

I said, causing Maria's eyes to open wide as she turned around.

"A bath!? Ok ok! I'll go! I'll go in with Onii-chan!"

"I already went in."

"Ohh... Then I'll go in next."

Maria said, putting down the controller, but Kobato stopped her.

"...Hold it... You would do well to know your place, pawn of God... It has been decided that I shall take my bath before the likes of you..."

"It was decided?" "No, it wasn't decided or anything," I said.

"Then I'll go in first after all! I'll go in before that vampire!"

"Ugahh! I'm going in first you retard!"

"...Decide with rock paper scissors."

I said, since it looked like they were about to get into a fight.

They both played rock paper scissors, and Maria won.

"Yay~! I get to use Onii-chan's bath~!"

Maria ran off to the bathroom while throwing her clothes off.

I picked up Maria's sister uniform and underwear she left spread on the floor, and as I was putting them in the changing room, I wondered,

"...Is it ok to put these in a washing machine like normal clothes?"

I have no idea, since I've never washed a sister uniform before.

I left them in the laundry basket for now, and went back to the living room.

When I got back, the phone rang again.

I picked up the receiver, wondering if it was Kate again, and sure enough, it was.

"Ah, Onii-chan. What's Maria doing right now~?"

"She's taking a bath."

"I see~... alone?"

"Yeah."

"Tell her to make sure she washes everything. Also, do you have pajamas she can use?"

"She can use my little sister's."

"Oh, ok..."

She sounded a little disappointed.

"Are you that worried about her?"

"W-what!? I-it's not like I'm worried about her!"

Ca-lick.

Her voice was obviously flustered before she quickly hung up on me just now.

"Yeesh..."

I sighed while bringing Kobato's spare pajamas into the changing room.

I could hear Maria in the bath going "Hmmm~♪ Hmm Hm Hmmm~♪" happily humming some song.

"Maria! I left you a change of clothes in the basket out here! Oh, and make sure you wash everything!"

"Ok! Ahaha~!"

I went back to the living room after hearing her energetic reply.

Kobato was playing her game in single player mode, so I picked up the other controller to give her someone to play with.

I'm pretty sure I was able to put up a good fight back when we played before, but she must've gotten a lot better since then, because I ended up losing every match.

"...What's the matter, my clansman... That can't be your true power... Remember it... Remember how we fled through that frozen night together..."

Kobato said, looking a little disappointed.

...I think I'll do a little practice later.

As I told myself that and continued losing to Kobato,

"Hey~ Hey~ Onii-cha~n."

Maria came into the living room.

Naked.

She was holding Kobato's pajamas in her hand.

"What's the matter?"

I turned around, and then Maria said, with a troubled look on her face,

"Onii-chan, these are a little too tight!"

"Eh, tight?"

Those should fit Kobato though, so why...

"Yeah! ...It felt tight on my chest when I tried putting it on. I won't be able to sleep well in this."

"Then don't sleep at all! Moron moron moronnnn!"

Kobato started yelling all of a sudden.

"Ghhh..."

She was trembling in frustration with tears in the corners of her eyes.

Oh, I get it... Her chest...

Kobato and Maria are about the same size, so I figured Maria'd be able to wear whatever Kobato can, but Maria's chest is a little bigger than hers now that I think about it.

Well, this is a problem... If she can't wear Kobato's clothes then we don't have anything here that'll fit her.

"Hmm..... Wanna try wearing my T-shirt for now then?"

I can't let her get sick or something from being naked all night.

"Onii-chan's shirt!? I'll wear it!"

She didn't seem against it, so I grabbed one of my T-shirts and had Maria put it on.

Obviously, it was really baggy on her and looked more like a short one-piece, but,

"Uwaa! Onii-chan's T-shirt! Ahaha! Onii-chan's T-shirt~! I combined with Onii-chan! Ahahahaha!"

I don't know what's so great about my T-shirt, but Maria seems happy about it, so she can just wear that for tonight.

"Uuu~..."

Kobato seemed upset as she groaned.

☺

After that, Kobato took her bath, and then spent the rest of the night playing "Magical Hyper Battle 3" with Maria.

I laid out a futon for Maria in the living room, and read a book while glancing at their game occasionally. Maria was getting better and better, and she was starting to put up a good fight against Kobato.

However, Maria started moving sluggishly around 9:30, leading to a series of perfect wins from Kobato.

Maria's eyes were drooping, and she looked like she was already half-asleep.

"Hmph... You have no value as an opponent to me in your current state..."

"Zzzz..."

At the same time Kobato turned off the PS2, Maria flopped down sideways on the couch, and fell sound asleep.

"Guess this is proof that kids who sleep well grow well, huh."

I said with a wry smile as Kobato stared at Maria's chest with a sullen expression.

"I'm going to sleep too!"

She said, and went up to her room.

I carried Maria onto the futon I laid out for her, and started to relax by reading my book, when the phone rang again.

"...It's already 10 o'clock."

I wearily answered the phone.

It was Kate, as I'd expected.

"Sorry for calling you so late at night Onii-chan. Is Maria asleep already?"

"She is."

"I see. She brushed her teeth, right?"

"Ah... now that you mention it, she didn't..."

"What were you thinking Onii-chan!? What if Maria gets a cavity!?"

"I'll make sure she does an extra good job in the morning..."

"No! Have her do it right now!"

"Fine fine... Hey... Are you a siscon by chance?"

"W-w-w-who are you calling a siscon, huh!? Anyway have her brush her teeth for me!"

She hung up.

"Haa..."

I sighed, but woke Maria up anyway, and had her brush her teeth while she was still half-asleep before letting her go back to sleep in her futon.

Nearly the second after I did, Kate called again to see if she finished brushing her teeth.

She hung up, and I thought I could finally relax for real as I started reading, but the phone rang again just past 11 o'clock.

"Tell her not to eat anything after she's brushed her teeth, ok?"

"I told you she's already asleep."

Click.

She hung up, and I confirmed that the normally aloof Kate was, in fact, a siscon.

After that, right as I was about to go to bed around midnight, she called again, telling me to make sure Maria was asleep, and that she didn't kick the futon off of her. She then kept calling about every 15 minutes, asking about the exact same things until I finally unplugged the phone and went to sleep.

I really need to get Maria to go home as soon as possible...

☺

"Ok, I'll go home! Because I'm a teacher, and an adult!"

The next morning.

When we were eating breakfast I asked Maria, "How about giving up on the runaway thing?" to which Kobato added, "Kukuku... Running away from home is what children do..." which had Maria quickly agree to give up and go back home to the church.

Behold, The Obedient Good Girl!

"Haha, I'm proud of you Maria."

While still feeling surprised at how easily she accepted, I patted Maria on the head, prompting an "Ehehe~" and a happy smile from her.

Now that siscon sister should calm down too.

I plugged the phone back in after we finished eating breakfast, and the phone rang immediately.

"Woah!?"

I was taken aback for a second before I quickly picked up the receiver,

"MARIIIAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA~~"

and cringed after being greeted by a screech so loud it could've made the whole house shake.

"W-what are you yelling for..."

"Uoah!? O-Onii-chan!?"

Kate came back to her senses, and asked in a panicked voice.

"Maria said she's giving up on running away and is going home, so come get her. See you later."

I hung up after telling her the bare minimum I had to.

15 minutes later, Kate arrived at our house in a taxi.

Holy crap was that fast!

...Maybe it was just me, but it looked like the taxi driver was shaking...

"Come on Maria, let's go home~"

Kate said with a weird face caused by her desperately trying to hide how relieved she was to see Maria.

"Hrmm, yeah I guess I have to..."

Maria said, looking a little unsatisfied, before putting on her shoes and walking out the front door.

Looks like our Takayama wasn't homesick in the least, and would've been just fine staying here.

"Maria, tell Onii-chan you're sorry for being such a bother to him," said Kate.

It took all I had to restrain myself from saying "You were infinitely more of a bother than Maria was."

"Ehh?"

Maria turned around and looked at me.

"Hey~ Onii-chan, can I come over again?"

Maria asked in a pleading tone of voice, to which I replied,

"Yeah, come over whenever you want."

Which was followed by Kobato, who had come out to the front door, yelling

"Don't ever come back, Moronnnn!"

"Shut up poop vampire! I'm definitely coming again! Thanks Onii-chan! The food was really good!"

Maria gave a little bow before turning around and getting in the taxi with Kate.

I watched Maria leave in the taxi as she waved to me saying "Bye bye~!", and then went back inside with Kobato.

Kobato turned on the TV and PS2 immediately after we got into the living room.

"Hey now, you're gonna start playing games this early?"

After I'd said that, Kobato grabbed the controller and did her standard "Kukuku..." chuckle before adding,

"...I must strengthen my magic in preparation for an assault from that foolish pawn of God... I shall have her prostrate herself before my overwhelming might next time she comes, kukuku..."

...Next time she comes, huh?

I smirked at Kobato, who couldn't wait for Maria to come again despite telling her to never come back.

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