Boku wa Tomodachi ga Sukunai:Volume 1 Tales of Momotarou

Tales of Momotarou [1]

 

When I arrived at the club room, I found a maid standing inside.

“Whoa?!”

I was taken by surprise; without thinking I blankly greeted her.

“You have worked hard at school, Aniki.”

…He was our new club member, Yukimura Kusunoki.

He was wearing a folded pinafore and a short skirt.

I couldn’t help but secretly take a glance at the white thighs underneath the skirt. Calm down Kodaka Hasegawa! He is a dude…!

….But seriously, what perfect attire for him…

“Uwah gross. He just stared at him…”

From inside the club room, Sena looked at me and said.

Yozora was sitting on the sofa across from Sena.

“…Why is Yukimura dressed up as a maid?”

I finally remembered the question.

“This is part of the training to become a manly man.”

Yozora replied a matter of factly.

“Dressing up as a maid is training?!”

Yukimura replied.

“Yozora-anego said that as a manly man, no matter what clothing he wears, his manliness cannot be masked. The day I am wearing this girly clothing but my manliness swells up and radiates out from my soul will be the day I become a real man. Even though this is a difficult trial, I will do my best!”

“You are pulling your tricks again...!”

“You think this is a trick? I am not making things up.”

Yozora rebuffed.

“For a real man, even if he is dressed as a maid, his aura of manliness would still diffuse out… Yukimura, imagine Kodaka wearing the maid dress.”

“Don’t think of such a strange image!!!!!”

Although I forcefully scolded them Yukimura still closed his eyes and started imagining.

“Buhaha, gross, that’s gross!”

Sena, who also imagined the sight of me in a maid dress, burst into laughter.

“Aniki wearing a maid dress.”

………

……

*Bo*

…Why is Yukimura blushing?

He opened his eyes.

“Indeed, even if Aniki wears a maid dress, he still looks like a delinquent.”

“Why would there be any maid-dress-wearing delinquents in this world?! Also as I said before, I am not a delinquent! How many time do I have to tell you?!”

Yozora ignored my objection.

“Yukimura, you finally understand the difficulty of this trial. You must strive to reach that level.”

“Yes. I will work hard with Aniki as my goal.”

“You don’t have to work hard in the first place…”

I tiredly said and casually sat down on the sofa.

And then, Yukimura poured a cup of coffee for me.

Without thinking about it, I subconsciously felt very content.

“…Having a maid in the club room is pretty nice, huh?”

Yozora, as if she had read my mind, whispered to me.

“Well, it doesn’t have to be Yukimura… no, never mind.”

If one had to choose between Yozora, Sena, and Yukimura to be a maid, no matter your assumption, Yukimura was still the best choice.

“Speaking of which, who brought the maid dress here?”

“It’s mine.”

“Yozora’s…? Don’t tell me you like to cosplay?”

“No. I bought it on ‘Yafoo! Action’ just in case I need it.”

“What kind of ‘just in case’ did you have in mind…”

“Anyway, let’s put a stop to this talk about maid dresses.”

Yozora changed the topic.

“I suddenly remembered how Meat read out a snippet of an eroge a while back.”

“*Busu*?!”

Sena snorted out the coffee she was sipping.

“I-I beg you, forget about it please!”

Ignoring Sena’s tearfully sincere request, Yozora continued.

 

“This ability is very important for making friends; the ability to act!”

 

…I could tell she was about to say something very terrible again.

“Eh, act?”

“Yes. If you are good at acting you will be able to happily chat with someone you secretly despise. It would look as if you two were getting along very well. In case you need to ask him for a favor later on, being on good terms would make this easier.”

Very terrible, indeed.

The first person to object to Yozora’s baloney, surprisingly, was Yukimura.

“But Anego, one of the core values of being a real man is to be true to oneself no matter what happens. Acting for the sake of hiding yourself is not something a real man should do.”

“Still young, Yukimura.”

“Please enlighten me.”

“Have you not heard of this saying before? ‘To learn something one must first learn its actions.’”

“…Is there really such a saying?”

But Yukimura looked as if he had very much been enlightened by what Yozora said.

“I see. Although I am still not mature, as I imitate the acts of real men, one day I too will become a real man. You are amazing, Anego. I understand fully now.”

He was so easy to convince.

Then what about Sena-

“…Acting… now that’s a good idea.”

“Why are you agreeing with her?”

I didn’t expect Sena, who acted as if the whole world revolved around her, to be interested in acting for the sake of others.

“When you are acting in a role, you might be able to discover hidden potential in yourself. From that you can become an even more amazing person. This is what Mitduki once said.”

“Mitduki?”

“Mitduki is obviously referring to Tokimeki 7’s Mitduki. The president of the drama club.”

“A game character!”

I stared at her and said.

“…But, when you think about it, if you are so good at acting that you can control your expression and actions with ease then you might be able to decrease the number of misunderstandings…”

…Then?

It looked like we had aligned our interests in the same direction.

“It’s decided. The club activity for today will be to practice acting!”

Yozora lively announced.

“To practice acting… I guess we should do a play then?”

“Of course.”

“The script?”

“I have it prepared. My idea is that it’s best to start with something everyone is familiar with. So I brought this.”

Yozora took a few play-scripts from her bag and passed them to everyone.

“Fu, Yozora is pretty quick.”

Sena, in a rare act, appeared impressed.

I looked at the title of the script… ’Momotarou’.

“…Even though it’s true that everyone is familiar with this story...”

“But at our age won’t you feel embarrassed acting out ‘Momotarou’?”

Sena and I said, disgruntled; Yozora calmly looked at us and said,

“You two are in no position to refuse. If you think you are, I'm going to broadcast that.”

“That?”

“The Sacred Blackstar.”

“I-I love Momotarou! It’s unexpectedly deep, so much that even an adult can enjoy the fabulous tales of Momotarou!”

Sena forcefully smiled and said.

Yukimura, too, was nodding his head.

“Good choice, Sena-anego. The mainstream theory these days theorized that the tales of Momotarou took shape in ancient Japan, when the Yamato Dynasty and Kibi no Kuni were at war. Momotarou was likely based on the famous son of Emperor Kourei Tennou; Prince Hiko Isaserihi Kono Mikoto who was active in the war. Although there is no substantial evidence, in the Muromachi period-“

“Stop, Yukimura! I know that you are knowledgeable.”

Yozora stopped him from continuing; Yukimura, who was a bit carried away in his speech, looked quite sad.

Is Yukimura a history buff…?

I suddenly had a question.

“Hey, but if we’re going to act out Momotarou we are a bit short on people.”

The characters in Momotarou are Momotarou himself, the dog, the monkey, the rooster, the old man, the old woman, ogres, and one that is essential to a play; the narrator.

It was clear that the four of us present were not enough.

“Relax. I already considered this shortcoming and made appropriate adjustments.”

“Eh… in other words, you wrote the entire script?”

“Yeah. It wasn’t easy; I’m proud of this work.”

“Well, as long as you didn’t deviate from the original story too much, I can accept it…”

“Good. Then let’s get started.”

Following Yozora’s declaration, I opened my play script.

On its first page it listed the characters.

 

“Characters”

-          Momotarou

-          Old Lady

-          Ogre

-          Tree

 

“So few characters?!”

“This is the result of the limited number of actors we have.”

“Then what’s up with the ‘Tree’?!”

“I took out too many characters, so I sort of added one back.”

“The tree is obviously not needed!”

“Well then, let’s decide on the roles.”

Yozora ignored my complaint and continued.

“For fairness, we should draw to decide.”

Yozora took a piece of worksheet and made a few simple tags.

We all took a piece and decided our role.

 

“Characters”

-          Momotarou = Sena Kashiwazaki

-          Old Lady = Yukimura Kusunoki

-          Ogre = Yozora Mikadzuki

-          Tree = Kodaka Hasegawa

 

“Right from the start I had a bad feeling about this; I ended up as a tree…”

“Fu fu, I am the main character. Well, really, I was the obvious choice. I too feel that Yozora would make a very good ogre. I shall banish you!”

Sena laughed contentedly.

“Fu, you are laughing for now Meat.”

Yozora unhappily replied.

“Then hurry up and get started. I think at this point everyone is already familiar with the story, so there won’t be any need for story introduction.”

We moved the sofa and the table to the corners of the room. In the middle of the room was space for an empty stage area and we started the play.

“Kodaka, since you are the tree, go stand there from start to end.”

Sena ordered me to go stand by the wall.

“…”

I wanted to say something, but I resisted and took a look at my play-script instead.

The first line was Momotarou’s line.

“…How come I have the starting line?”

Sena asked in surprise. Regardless, she followed the directions in the play-script, stood at the center of the stage, and spoke out her lines.

“Let, let’s see… once upon a time, there was an old lady who lived alone. One day when she was doing laundry by the river, suddenly from upstream a rice bucket sized peach floated down. The old lady took the peach home, cut it open, and out came me from inside.”

“It’s first person point of view from Momotarou!”

“It’s just like those first person point of view novels where the main character does the narration as well. With this we can decrease the number of actors required by one. What a great idea.”

Yozora said somewhat proudly.

“No, wait a second. If you even took out the narrator, then why did you add ‘Tree’ back… wouldn’t it be better to have me as the narrator instead?!”

After she heard my gripe, Yozora clicked her tongue and looked at me.

“…What? That didn’t occur to you?”

And then Yozora irritatedly replied,

“…If we let the trees chat so much the worldview is going to collapse. Next.”

She didn’t take in my words at all.

“Because I was born from inside a peach, I was given the simple name ‘Momotarou’. I lived aside the old lady and gradually grew up. Finally, that day arrived.”

“Momotarou, there are ogres on the island committing evil deeds. They’re terrifying.”

Yukimura, playing as the old lady, walked onto the stage. As if he didn’t plan on acting at all, he stiffly spoke out his lines.

Although the old lady was in a maid dress…

“Fu, whether it’s Yozora or some other stuff, I shall exterminate it!”

Finally it’s Momotarou’s first line (as opposed to the narrator’s). Even though Sena said the line with passion it didn’t seem like she wanted to follow the script at all.

“Is that so. Good luck then.”

…And that’s the end of the old lady’s part. She hasn’t given Momotarou the rice dango yet…

Yukimura unsteadily walked toward me.

“How was it, Aniki. My lifelike acting.”

“………”

I didn’t know what to say, so I chose silence.

“Incredible, Aniki! You have already become one with the Tree character. I still have much to learn.”

He looked at me respectfully and exited the stage.

Sena again came to the center of the stage and spoke her lines.

“With the old lady’s farewell, I left the village and embarked on a journey to the Island of Ogre. During the voyage, I witnessed the sacrifice of a dog, a monkey, and a rooster. But I left those aside and sped up my trek.”

“What have you done?!”

“The dog, the monkey, and the rooster are what people think of whenever one mentions ‘Momotarou’. I cannot just take away all their references. This is called respecting the source material.”

Yozora explained truthfully.

… Having them show up as corpses; what sort of ‘respecting the source material’ is that?

“Many things happened, and I have finally reached the Island of Ogre. The ogres on the island all charged towards me, but I slaughtered them without trouble. And finally, I made it to the deepest part of the ogre king’s castle.”

…That was fast…

“At last, I stood in front of the ogre king.”

At this moment, Yozora walked onstage.

“So you finally appeared, Yozora! Prepare yourself! If I kill you, all the treasures on this island shall be mine!”

Momotarou, looking absolutely like the antagonist, yelled. Yozora loathly stared back.

And then she started her emotional and lifelike acting,

“Why? How can you commit these cruel and inhumane acts with such leisure? We, banished by the Yamato Dynasty, are the last of our race. Not only have your kind banished us to this forsaken place, but now you even want to claim our lives…! With such cold-bloodedness, you humans are the real ogres!”

That line of the Ogre boss… was so cool!

“Eh… what’s this plot development…”

Sena uncertainly continued her role.

“Shut, shut up! Did you not kill those innocent civilians?!”

“Nonsense! They were soldiers your kind sent to pillage the gold our ancestors painstakingly collected! All my people want is to live peacefully!”

“Is that right? No, be quiet! The existence of ogres is a sin itself! I, Momotarou shall wield my sword of justice and strike down you evil ogres! We shall decide who the ally of righteousness is!”

“Spreading such atrocity on this green earth… and claiming itself as an ally of righteousness! Is there no justice in this world? I shall become the devil, and annihilate all living beings! Come, you dog of the dynasty. My name is Kokuten no Mikoto, the last emperor of Kibi no Kuni, the being that will bring destruction to this world!”

“Yozora wait a second! No matter how you look at it, the Ogres are the good guys! Furthermore, the name of the Ogre king is not mentioned anywhere in the script!”

Sena finally exploded with anger; Yozora laughed and said,

“When I was writing the script, I thought it was no fun writing a simple story that rewards the nice and punishes the naughty; I made a few changes as a result. As for the name, I just came up with it.”

“That’s so cheap. Only you get to yell out those cool lines. I am Momotarou you know?!”

“What’s so cheap about it… there is no clear good and bad in this world. History is just a tool of the victors’. In other words, only the victor in this battle can describe itself fighting for justice!”

As Yozora yelled this out, a rolled up atlas somehow appeared in her hands. She whacked at Sena’s head.

I looked at my play script. On the last page it said “And so, Momotarou and the ogre began their duel. The side that makes the opponent cries first is the winner, and thus is the good side.” That was all the page had.

What happened to practicing acting?

“Ow! Wait, it’s not fair that only you have a weapon!”

Looking at the tearfully protesting Sena, Yozora gave her another whack.

“Objection denied! I shall have revenge for my brothers that you massacred!”

BokaBokaBokaBokaBoka!

“Aah, enough!”

Sena rolled up her copy of the play-script and started to fight back. However the loosely stapled play script was no match for the rugged atlas. It fell apart quickly.

“Wait, ow, that hurt! Uuh! Aah! Uuuu… idiot!”

Sena finally escaped offstage.

Yozora leisurely stood at the center of the stage; a vicious smile appeared on her face.

“… Just wait you humans… I have put a bloody end to Momotarou; your world is next! Fufufufufufufu…. buhahahahahahahhaahaha…! The End!”

Yozora reverted back to her usual tone and said,

“So how was this tiresome play…”

I replied,

“It was all right. It’s not as if we are acting in front of others.”

Yozora calmly said,

“But this is a pretty fun play. We shall make this a Neighbor’s Club reoccurring event!”

Yozora alone contently wiped the sweat off her forehead; at the same time an expression of resent appeared on Sena and my faces.

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