Baka to Tesuto to Syokanju:Volume9.5 Me and Quarrels and Unbelievable Idiots

Me and Quarrels and Unbelievable Idiots

Me and Quarrels and Unbelievable Idiots

“Yuuji, you’ll be late for the opening ceremony if you don’t go out now, you know?”

Mom said as she saw me relaxing in the living room.

It’s now 8.30am. Considering the distance from my house to Fumitzuki Gakuen, I should be able to make it barely for the opening ceremony at nine.

“It’s embarrassing if you’re late for the opening ceremony, you know?”

She’s nagging me over and over again, yet mom’s voice has merely a tinge of fatigue.

Middle school life was over. From today on, my new life in high school will begin. Actually, I don’t want to be late.

“Yuuji, are you listening?”

It’s just that there’s a very high chance that I’ll meet that troublesome person if I leave at this time. I’m wearing time down to avoid trouble.

“Really…having such an attitude even at an opening ceremony…”

Speaking of which, I already tried to avoid going to the same school as that person before I actually say something, so I didn’t tell anyone other than the teachers which school I wanted to go to. But why…

“It’s rare for this okaa-san to tell Shouko-chan Yuuji’s choice of school so that you two can go to the same school together…”

“SO IT’S YOU—!!!”

“?? What’s the matter, Yuuji?”

Mom actually showed a ridiculous face without any signs of remorse. What do you mean by ‘what’s the matter’! Don’t just tell anyone else my secret!

“Also, Yuuji. How can you call okaa-san ‘you’?”

“Un? Ah, is that so…sorry, mom. I just blurted it out.”

“People nearby will think that we’re a couple, you know?”

“IT’S TOO EARLY FOR ME TO GET MARRIED AND YOU’RE MARRIED TO DAD AND WE’VE BEEN GETTING ALONG WITH THE NEIGHBOURS FOR MORE THAN 10 YEARS SO EVERYONE KNOWS WHO THE COUPLE IS AND ALSO ANYONE CAN TELL THAT THERE’S A HUGE DIFFERENCE IN AGE BETWEEN ME AND MY MOM AND SPEAKING OF WHICH WE ARE REALLY BLOOD-RELATED HERE—!”

“Amazing, Yuuji. Impressive lung capacity.”

“THAT’S NOT THE POINT!”

I seemed to hear my nerves been worn out like a chopping board being scratched. My body really can’t take this situation that I have to handle so early in the morning…

I looked up to see the time, and 5 minutes passed. It’s about time.

“Then, I’ll slowly…”

I got up from the sofa.

I used up enough time. Time to go to school.

“Oh yeah, Yuuji. What time should okaa-san leave?”

I was stopped by this sudden question. To be honest, this mom of mine who’s like a gathering of airheads will be troublesome if she comes along. I’ll just make a lie here.

“Fumitzuki Gakuen’s opening ceremony doesn’t allow for parents to come in.”

“Oh, is that so? What a pity~”

I started to worry about this mom of mine who doesn’t suspect others.

“Then, okaa-san will wear a uniform.”

And then, this mom of mine who could think of such an idea worries me even more.

“THINK OF THE AGE! IT’S OBVIOUSLY IMPOSSIBLE HERE, RIGHT!?”

“Yeah~I can definitely go in if I’m younger by two years.”

“2 YEARS!? YOU MISSED OUT ON AN EXTRA ZERO!”

“Really…you’re a man, Yuuji. Don’t worry about such a trivial thing. I just made a mistake in the number.

“IT’S JUST A MISTAKE, BUT THE MISTAKE’S THE DIGIT HERE!”

This is really a shameless mistake. I couldn’t help but sigh. Mom seemed to think of something and clapped her hands to say.

“Oh yes, Yuuji. Don’t buy any snacks on the way home, alright?”

Don’t buy snacks? What does she mean—wait, don’t tell me,

“Mom. Are you thinking of cooking again?”

“Yes. I want to make a few dishes to celebrate.”

Mom’s face showed a happy smile. No way. I understand that intention, but…

“Allow me to ask, what are you intending to make?”

“Oh yes, I went shopping yesterday, and the thing that’s similar to sea urchin is extremely cheap.”

“CAN YOU BE MORE SPECIFIC ABOUT THAT ‘SIMILAR’ THING!? I CAN’T TELL WHETHER IT’S EDIBLE!”

It’s okay if it’s chestnut, and kiwi is still acceptable, but I can’t agree if it’s a scrubbing brush…!

“And also, they gave detergent for washing dishes.”

“AND IT’S REALLY THE LAST ONE—!”

Looks like I have to clear up the cooking that will shock the whole world after school when I get home.

“Haa…anyway, I’m going to school now.”

“Okay, take care.”

I grabbed my bag, got up, and walked to the corridor.

“Say hi to Shouko-chan for me.”

“…”

I didn’t answer those words before I stepped out of the house.

☆

Fumitzuki Gakuen is built on a slope. No, it’s more like a hill. The slope steepness is different for each path chosen, and on this one, we have to get off our bicycles to go up. It’ll be a lot easier to go back, however,

“This slope…”

It’ll be dangerous if the cyclist doesn’t brake to slow down. Thus, the energy used to go up the slope in the morning will all be for naught when the bicycle has to keep braking and creating friction when going down. The energy will be all wasted.

“Do I have to climb up every day…”

I’m walking up to school, so I’m not having it as tough as the people riding the bicycles. However, I’m rather bothered when I think about the future. What in the world was the school committee thinking, choosing such a place?

“Oh yeah, the reason’s just that simple.”

It’s either because the land price is cheap or that it’s easier to ensure a large land. This place is closer to the residential streets, but a lot further from the city. One can reach the outskirts if he goes off in the opposite direction, so there won’t be any competition for land.

“The scenery’s fine though.”

I stop to look around. Below me, I can see two sceneries that unfold in front of me, the city I know of and the outskirts leading to the unknown road.

As expected of an Opening Ceremony, most of the students have already arrived at school. I can’t see any students climbing up this slope behind me. Also, it’s obvious why I chose to come to school at such a time.

There’s still 5 minutes till the Opening Ceremony. I heard that everyone will be gathered at the sports hall and leave the class sorting aside first. Once the Ceremony’s over, everyone will then be assigned to their classes.

I might as well be late since I’m going to hear such stupid nonsense. I thought as I climb up the slope leading to the school gate.

“…Yuuji.”

And then, just when I’m about to enter the school compound, I hear a faint voice.

Immediately, my mouth just feels bitter. I was relieved that I didn’t see her at my house. So she’s been waiting here…

“…”

I forcefully ignore those words and continue on.

“…Yuuji.”

“……”

“…Yuuji.”

“……”

“…Yuuji.”

“……”

“…My breasts have grown to size C.”

GANK!!

My eyes are seeing stars as I knocked into the telegraph pole.

“…Yuuji. Is your head alright?”

“I’LL RETURN THOSE WORDS RIGHT BACK AT YOU!!!”

I roared at my worried looking childhood friend. It’s like we had such a conversation when we were young!

It can’t be helped. I can only give up on ignoring Shouko and face her.

“Shouko. We promised before about what you should do when we’re going to the same school, right? Don’t talk to me in school.”

“…But it’s still outside the school.”

“Then, I’ll correct that. Don’t talk to me on the streets too.”

“..That’s too much.”

Even I don’t understand why I want to keep my distance from her. Perhaps somewhere inside my heart, I want to abandon that embarrassing past of mine.

“…I want to talk to you, Yuuji.”

Shouko has never changed her attitude about this worthless me ever since grade school—or rather, she’s been treating me better.

“…Yuuji, what should I do to make you willing to talk to me?”

“Who knows?”

Ever since that incident 5 years ago, I consciously realized that I have to change my lifestyle in the future. I tried to argue, train myself and get away from studies. The opinions of the people around me went from ‘prodigy’ to ‘problematic’. But deep inside my heart, ever since 5 years ago, nothing has changed at all.

“…Yuuji, does being with me hurts you?”

I’m immediately speechless.

Even as I continued to push her aside, this girl’s still looking over at me with innocent eyes. No matter how much I hate myself, she always said that she likes me. To me, that’s…really, really painful.

“…Yuuji, you hate yourself, right…?”

“……..”

I can’t answer.

However, Shouko suddenly says something weird.

“…I’ll be patient.”

Patient? What about it?

“…I’ll be patient with you until you’re willing to be with me, Yuuji.”

I’m really amazed by those words that were said inadvertently, and thinks,

(This girl’s, really mature…as compared to me…)

The person she likes is treating her so coldly; and yet she’s not angry but thinking about others. If this is not maturity, I don’t know what is.

(Compared to her, I’m…)

My heart’s filled with darkness.

Her worry seems to reveal my immaturity, and I feel even more damned…this is embarrassing.

Shouko ignores my self-loathing and continues,

“…I’ll be patient, so—”

“Un? What?”

“—I want to kiss you.”

“……(ACK ACK ACK)!!!”

I’m being too foolish. My opinion on this girl really changed for this moment.

“…Yuuji.”

“……”

“…Yuuji.”

“……”

“…Don’t ignore me.”

“……”

I continue to walk fast in front, and Shouko’s complaining behind me. Ahh, this is annoying.

How about if I run off like this? Just when I was thinking about that, someone suddenly called out.

“We, well, that student over there.”

It’s a voice I never heard of before. Most likely, it’s a student who’s coming to the same Opening Ceremony as us. From the sound of it, he sounds like a decent guy. He must be an idiot who’s trying to be kind after seeing me ignore Shouko.

How troublesome. I might as well ignore this guy as well.

I increase my pace again. It seem that Shouko has given up halfway as there’s no movements at all.

However,

“That’s weird. Did he not hear me?”

I have no idea who continues to yap without backing away.

Never mind. I’ll just ignore him.

“Oi—the student over there—”

Anyway, I’ll just ignore him.

“Oi— oi—do you hear me—?”

I’ll still ignore him.

“Uu…this is troublesome…are his ears not working well…?”

It seems that he has finally given up. This weird battle of ignoring ends with the opposing stranger giving up.

How annoying. I sighed slightly and turned my gaze slightly to see who’s the owner of the voice.

Standing over there is a male student of the same age, over 165cm, messy out-of-bed hair, and has an idiotic look.

—And for some reason, he’s wearing a sailor uniform.

“HOW CAN I IGNORE THIS—!!??”

I can’t help but exclaim.

What’s with this guy!!? A pervert!!? If not, someone with abnormal personality!!?

“Ehh? What, what? What’s wrong? Is there something behind me?”

“IT’S ABOUT YOU! THE ONE STANDING THERE WITH A BLANK FACE AND WEARING A SAILOR UNIFORM!!”

WHY THE HELL MUST I BE SEEING THE PEOPLE BEHIND!? DON’T YOU REALIZE HOW WEIRD YOU LOOK!?

That guy finally notices that the ‘you’ was referring to him when I pointed at him, and says with a shocked expression,

“Ahh…! No, that’s not it!! This is!”

“Not it!? What about it?”

“This is a middle school uniform!”

“OI, WAIT A SEC! WERE YOU WEARING A SAILOR UNIFORM IN MIDDLE SCHOOL!!!?”

HASN’T ANYONE TOLD HIM ANYTHING ABOUT IT!? HIS FRIENDS HAVE GONE THROUGH THREE YEARS WITH HIM EITHER WAY, RIGHT!!?

“No, it’s not like this! This uniform belongs to Seiran Girls Middle School! Nee—”

“AND A GIRLS SCHOOL AT THAT!? LETTING A GUY IN TOO!! ARE THE TEACHERS IDIOTS JUST LIKE THE STUDENTS!!??”

“AARRRGGGHHH!! THE MISUNDERSTANDING JUST GOT WORSE!!!”

“RELAX! I’M NOT MISTAKEN AT ALL!!’

THIS GUY’S MOST DEFINITELY A PERVERT! IT’S HARD TO MISUNDERSTAND THIS!

“LI, LISTEN TO ME!”

“DON’T GET NEAR ME!! PERVERTEDNESS IS CONTAGIOUS!!”

“THAT’S WHY I SAY THAT IT’S NOT—!!”

“DO, DON’T COME NEAR ME—!!

Before I realized it, I’m sprinting down the field, but I just can’t shake him off. This, this pervert, he’s really fast!

“I GOT IT! I KNOW, IT’S A MISUNDERSTANDING! STOP CHASING ME NOW!!”

“LIAR! YOU WILL STOP AND LISTEN TO ME IF YOU KNOW THAT IT’S A MISUNDERSTANDING!”

“STOP SPOUTING NONSENSE! HOW CAN I STOP WHEN I’M BEING CHASED BY A PERVERT!!?”

“THAT’S WHY I SAY IT’S A MISUNDERSTANDING! DAMN IT! LOOKS LIKE I HAVE TO GO ALL OUT!”

“ALL OUT!? STO, STOP JOKING AROUND—!!”

“OHHH—!? A misunderstanding created another one? This is bad—!”

I still can’t shake off the pervert as I continue to play tag with him. No, it’s an understatement to say that we’re playing tag. The one chasing me is really a devil, a messenger of hell spreading fear and despair.

In this type of crisis which I have never experienced before, my sanity finally gives up on working as my instincts are the only thing driving me.

I, who’s trying to escape from the terror, instinctively thought of seeking help as I dash towards the opening ceremony in the sports hall.

<<First, let us have the principal address us. Principal, if you please.>>

<<Okay. Uh um. Ehh— congratulations to all incoming students. I’m the principal of this school—>>

“PERVERT—!!!”

“LISTEN TO ME!!!”

*Chatter—*

*“Pe, pervert!?”*

*“Is the principal here a pervert!?”*

*“No wonder the school fees are so cheap…!”*

<<Wait…!? Why am I treated as a pervert!?>>

As I ran into the sports hall, I’m already surrounded by buzzing. It can’t be helped since there’s a pervert appearing here!

However, I find myself calming down slightly because of the other people around me, who are already panicking. There’re a whole lot of people in the sports hall. With so many people around me, maybe I can shake off this pervert. If I have to ask for help, now’s the time!

I take a deep breath.

“LISTEN UP, YOU GUYS! ANYONE CONFIDENT ENOUGH IN THEIR FIGHTING ABILITIES, STEP RIGHT UP! THOSE NOT CONFIDENT ENOUGH WILL ONLY GET IN THE WAY. BACK DOWN!”

My voice echoes through the hall.

“EH!? WHAT!? A FIGHT THIS TIME!? WHAT’S WRONG TODAY!?”

On hearing the voice, the pervert chasing me panicked. Idiot! I’ll finish off this pervert who’s attacking in the middle of daylight!

Just like a certain scene in the <<Ten Commandments>>, the crowd is scattered with me at the center. Just like what I ordered, those guys who aren’t confident in their skills kept their distanc.e

In that case, there won’t be people getting in the way. That’s good.

The problem is—

“ISN’T ANYONE CONFIDENT IN THEIR OWN FIGHTING ABILITIES!?”

The problem is that no one’s willing to help me take on the pervert. Eh…! Even though this school isn’t ordinary, it is still a prep school. To think that there’s a gathering of students who can’t fight.

All of them move as I move, with me still at the center. Damn it! Someone, someone help me…!

I continue to move, and the space moves as well. However, a student remains still even with everyone moving.

(Good! Someone’s willing to come over!)

I gave myself a victory sign secretly as I look at the courageous person. That person has long limbs, a long ponytail, and the head’s swaying.

…Sleeping.

“YOU’RE SLEEPING AT SUCH A MOMENT—!!?”

THAT’S JUST NOT RUNNING AWAY! YOU Itsuki! YOU GOT MY HOPES UP FOR NOTHING! SPEAKING OF WHICH, WHY ARE YOU ABLE TO SLEEP IN SUCH A SITUATION!? DO YOU HAVE SOME DIFFERENT LIFESTYLE FROM ORDINARY HUMANS!?

“Forget about that. ANYONE’S WILLING TO STEP UP!?”

I change my mood and call the people around me. Damn it. No one’s coming out. In this case, I can only go alone…!

Getting mentally ready, I stop there.

After a while, a male teacher appears there.

“Are you two freshmen?”

*BOING* A terrifyingly deep sound can be heard from the abdomen. The male teacher has muscles that look like they can rip the suit. This presence just feels like a fighter who’s been through countless battles. This, this guy’s way too reliable…!

“It’s only just the start of school. You sure got guts.”

The muscled teacher folds his arms and smirks as he looks impressed. I’m really embarrassed to be praised by such a muscular man.

“Don’t say that. I’m not that amazing.”

I have to deny his words.

Unlike me, who’s being chased, that teacher’s guts can’t be underestimated, even though he’s taking on a pervert for his students’ sake. How can I accept the praise when I’m the one asking for help? I really can’t accept that.

However, that teacher again says the same thing.

“No no. You really have guts.”

And then, he got into position.

“—Both of you.”

“……Eh?”

After that, the muscled teacher glares at me and the pervert. Un? Why are you standing opposite me?

“O, OI! WAIT! YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THE PERVERT DOWN THERE!”

“WE, WELL! I’M DIFFERENT FROM THIS GUY! I’M NOT LOOKING FOR A FIGHT!”

“YOU TWO—IDIOTS!!!”

““GGGYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!””

An unprecedented terror strikes me as a huge force I have never experienced before hits me. Wha, what’s going on!? Is, is this teacher…really human…!?

“Why…did it end up like this…I’m just about to, tell you, that there’s a girl talking to you…”

Before I fainted, that faint voice can be heard beside me.

☆

Just like that, the worst ever opening ceremony ended (while I’m still unconscious), and now, we’re sorted into our classes and introducing ourselves.

My body endures the pain as I put my hand on my cheek and look forward.

“—Ryo. Nice to meet you.”

There’s nothing out of the ordinary. Just a simple self-introduction in order.

“My name is, Shimada, Minami. Nice to meet you.”

The strange feeling isn’t because of the words, but the pronunciation. It doesn’t sound Japanese.

I thought that she’s an overseas student and open my eyes wide to check. However, the owner of that voice doesn’t look like a foreigner, but a Japanese I’m used to seeing.

(Un? Isn’t that person the one sleeping in the midst of the buzzing—?)

Whether it’s the strange pronunciation or the attitude during the opening ceremony, I’m rather bothered by them. I then look at the name on the blackboard. Over there, the name ‘Shimayumi Mikare’ is written there. Since she calls herself Shimada Minami, I guess she probably wrote the wrong name.

“Shimada-san is a Japanese from Germany, and she just returned back, so everyone, please help her out.”

The teacher helped Shimada finish off. She’s a girl who came back from overseas? No wonder the pronunciation and kanji are wrong. She was sleeping not because she was bored or it was spring, but the time difference. Maybe that’s the reason.

*Snickers* I can hear people around me snickering. Most likely, they’re laughing at Shimada for writing the wrong kanji.

(Tch, how stupid.)

Deep inside, I mocked those idiots who’re snickering away.

Just now, the teacher mentioned that ‘she just returned back’. Also, I can tell from the pronunciation just now that Shimada has just started learning Japanese not too long ago, but now she’s speaking Japanese and using kanji to write her name. She’s entering what’s considered a high school life, and now has to be independent in such a different culture, yet she’s still pulling herself through like this. This itself is worthy of praise. However, I can tell how impatient this crowd is when they’re laughing away. The people laughing are laughing at their own ignorance.

“I hope we can get along!”

As I was thinking about this, Shimada’s self-introduction ended. Then, based on the order, it’s my turn now.

I slowly walk to the front and immediately say my name out clearly.

“I’m Sakamoto Yuuji from Kannazuki Middle School.”

That one sentence caused everyone else to start muttering.

“That guy’s Kannazuki’s…”

“The infamous devil…”

“That guy seems really amazing…”

It seems some of them knows about my middle school past as they give me probing and disgusted looks. With the action during the opening ceremony just now, I’ll be viewed as a violent student with many problems.

“…Fu”

It’s fine. I don’t have to deliberately explain to them.

I slowly walk back like how I walked to the podium, and return back to my seat.

And then, the next student introduces himself.

“My name’s Kinoshita Hideyoshi. I’d hope we can get along.”

That weird tone caused me to widen my closing eyes to check…what’s going on? Why isn’t that person there wearing a girl’s uniform? No, wait, the name’s Hideyoshi, so that’s a guy, right/ but he doesn’t look like a guy in the first place…

I tilted my head to wonder, and Kinoshita’s self-introduction ended. The next student walked in front. I’ll just leave this memory of Kinoshita being ‘a really weird guy with an unspecified gender’ in my mind. Yeah, at least I should remember a name. Besides, there can’t possibly be a second strange person like this.

“…Tsuchiya Kouta. Interests are perv…no”

……There is one. And what follows next is.

“…speciality is stealing pho…nothing much.”

After saying that, a camera and recorder can be seen from Tsuchiya’s pockets.

………

……

…

(Why, why isn’t anyone telling him off yet…!?)

His interest is to take photos secretly, specialty is to eavesdrop, and the gadgets on him really have a criminal feel. That’s too weird. That’s way too obviously weird.

My common sense was about to collapse, and there was another self-introduction.

“I’m Yoshii Akihisa from Nagatsuki Middle School. I hope we can get along.”

The one who said that as he kept his head low is that idiot who was wearing the sailor uniform this morning. I see, so this guy’s called Yoshii Akihisa. I’ll remember that as an important person to be wary against. He’s a pervert.

After that, there weren’t any strange self-introductions, and the HR time ended. In the end, amongst the names I remembered, the once with the most common sense is that girl who came back to the country, huh?

As I got ready to leave, I heard the voice of that girl who came back from afar.

“Shut up, you swines.”

Looks like I have to take that back, I thought.

☆