Baka to Tesuto to Syokanju:Volume2 The First Question

“…Yuuji.”

“What?”

“Do you know about ‘Kisaragi Highland’?”

“Ah, you’re talking about the huge theme park that is under construction, right? Seems like it’s about to be opened soon.”

“…There seems to be a very scary haunted house inside.”

“Oh, the one that they remodeled from the abandoned hospital? Sounds interesting.”

“…And the best Ferris Wheel in Japan.”

“Ooo, seems rather large. It sure sounds impressive.”

“…And the world’s third fastest roller coaster.”

“It’s that facility that accelerates many times and keeps spinning around. Though I don’t know how it looks like, it sure makes me excited.”

“…And there are many other interesting things.”

“That’s great, it’ll be really fun.”

“…Then, when that place opens, we should…”

“Yeah, I know what you want to say. If you want to go there—”

“…Nn.”

“Go there with a friend.”

“I have confidence in my grip.”

“GUAAHHHH! Don’t use the devil’s grip on me!”

“…I want to go with Yuuji, the two of us.”

“The opening ceremony will be crowded, I don’t want to—AHH!!”

“…If so, does that mean that you will go if I have tickets to the pre-opening?”

“Pre…pre-opening tickets? *coughs*, isn’t that hard to get?”

“…Will you go?”

“Hm—of course, if you can get it, of course—”

“…Really?”

“Yes yes yes, that’s right.”

“I told you I won’t already, didn’t I? Do I look like someone who would break a promise?”

“—Please stamp your name on this marriage certificate.”

“I’ll keep that promise, even at the cost of my own life.”

The First Question

In order to decide what the class will do during this school festival, please answer the following question:

“What do you wish for now?”

Himeji Mizuki’s answer:

“To create wonderful memories with my classmates.”

Teacher’s comment:

I see. Being a part of the guests’ memories isn’t a bad thing. Sensei will remember to include a photo album of all these as standby.

Tsuchiya Kouta's Answer:

A-magazines adult-oriented magazines

Teacher’s comment:

So what’s the point of you crossing that out?

Yoshii Akihisa's Answer:

“Calories.”

Teacher’s comment:

Sensei feels that your life is in danger when you answered this.

The Cherry-colored flowers is gradually disappearing from the streets, what replaces it is the season of germination.

Our Fumitsuki Gakuen is preparing for the first event of the new year – ‘Cool Summer Festival’.

Some classes are turning their classrooms into haunted houses, and some of them are preparing the utensils, setting up their yakisoba stalls. There are also classes that are exhibiting the ‘summoning system’ that only this school has. In order to prepare for this school festival, class time was extended, and every class is full of energy.

And then, as for F class—

“Bring it on! Yoshii!”

“Let’s settle this, Sugawa-kun!”

“I want to send that weak ball of yours flying over the fence!”

We aren’t preparing anything, just playing baseball in school.

“What did you say? Like I’m going to let that happen!”

I use my feet to adjust the mound, waiting for Yuuji, the catcher, to give the signal. As my bad friend, who was also hailed as a genius in the past, he can definitely give me instructions on how to beat Sugawa-kun easily.

“The next ball—”

Here it comes, Yuuji’s signal. The first ball indicates the type of ball to be thrown. Then, what kind of ball?

“Curveball, target…”

Hmmm. The next one’s a curveball, the location is—

“The batter’s head.”

“ISN’T THAT A FOUL?”

Even though it’s impossible to get a homerun off that, isn’t there something wrong with it?

Just as I intend to not throw the ball that Yuuji signaled—

“OI, YOU GUYS! WHAT ARE YOU DOING INSTEAD OF PREPARING FOR THE SCHOOL FESTIVAL!!”

“ARGH! IT’S IRONMAN!!”

Our homeroom teacher, Nishimura-sensei (a.k.a. Ironman), rushes in with a raging and imposing manner. If we’re caught, we’ll be beaten up really terribly by the refined fist of that guy! Got to get away!

“YOSHII!! ARE YOU BEHIND ALL THESE!!”

“IT’S, IT’S NOT ME! WHY ARE YOU SINGLING ME OUT ALL THE TIME!!”

Though I have used up all my energy to run, I can’t shake away the enemy. As expected of the man who focuses on P.E and is interested in triathlons—OI! This isn’t the time to be impressed!!

“IT’S YUUJI! CLASS REP YUUJI SUGGESTED THAT WE PLAY BASEBALL!!”

The one who suggested using the prep time to play baseball was Yuuji, so he should be the one responsible for this.

Thinking about this, I turn towards Yuuji, and that guy is using his eyes to tell me, “A forkball between Ironman’s legs.”

“THAT’S NOT RIGHT! I DIDN’T ASK FOR THE TYPE OF PITCH!! ALSO, WOULDN’T THAT MAKE ME THE SOLE TARGET OF HIS WRATH!!?”

Come to think about it, what’s the point of throwing a breaking ball?

“Everyone get back to class! We’re the only class which doesn’t know what to do at this point!!”

Ironman’s terrifying roar sends back scurrying back to the broken and dirty classroom.

“Then, it’s about time to decide what we want to do for this spring festival—‘cool summer festival’.”

After the baseball match was interrupted, F class representative Yuuji makes this announcement as he overlooks us, who are sitting on the mats.

“Anyway, we’ll have to nominate someone to be the committee member. I’ll let the nominated person settle all these.”

Yuuji, just because he’s uninterested, is he planning to push the responsibility to someone else and take a nap? While we were preparing just now, he was the one who suggested that we play baseball. This is so completely different from the attitude he showed during the summoning battle.

“Yoshii-kun, Sakamoto-kun doesn’t seem to like school festivals, is it?”

My classmate, Himeji Mizuki-san asks in a soft voice that won’t disturb any meeting at all. Her beautiful smile and large breasts dazzle me.

‘I never asked directly before, so I’m not sure, but it seems like he’s not passionate about it. If he’s interested, Yuuji would immediately take action.”

“I see…that’s too bad…”

Himeji-san, who would normally reveal a cheerful expression, looks rather gloomy.

“Is Yoshii-kun also uninterested?”

Himeji-san’s face closes in on me, her eyes looking up. So, so cute…

“Erm--how should I say it? I don’t really want anything.”

This is my honest opinion. Though I’m glad that there is less lessons now, I don’t have a clear goal on what to do during the school festival.

“I…I want to create memories of the school festival with Yoshii-kun.”

“Eh?”

That meaningful sentence made me sound like a fool.

“Then, Yoshii-kun, do you know…? It’s said that there would be lucky couples formed during the school festival-- *Cough cough cough*!”

Before she finished speaking, Himeji suddenly covers her mouth with her hand, coughing. Her face is slightly red, does she have a cold?

“Are you alright?”

“Yes, yes, I’m sorry…”

She looks a bit uncomfortable, her eyes are still teary. Come to think of it, Himeji-san seem to be coughing quite a lot recently.

Right now, our equipment has been demoted from the lousy tatami mat to just a straw mat and cardboard boxes. Compared to normal tables and chairs, using these things to study is not only tiring, but unhygienic. For Himeji-san, whose body is very weak, it’s not strange for her to fall sick so easily. No, it’s to be expected, actually.

If we don’t do something…

A hygienic environment, and facilities that don’t strain the human body much. If we don’t prepare these two things, I feel that Himeji-san will faint one day. There’s two months to the next summoning battle, but if we can raise our class rank earlier…

“Then, Shimada-san will be our school festival committee member, is that okay?”

Yuuji’s words enter my mind subconsciously. At this moment, we’re still discussing about the festival.

“Eh? You want me to do it? Hn—But I have to take part in the summoning tournament, it might not be too convenient.”

The person who suddenly rolls her eyes in surprise is Shimada Minami-san, who was staying in Germant since young before she returned back to Japan with her parents. In terms of looks, well, she has scary eyes and a ponytail on her hair.

“Yuuji, if it’s a committee member, I do feel that Himeji-san would be better suited than Minami.”

“Eh? Me?”

Now that her name has entered the conversation, Himeji-san looks a bit puzzled. Compared to a fierce Minami, I feel that there wouldn’t be many arguments if gentle Himeji-san is involved.

“Himeji probably won’t be able to do it, since by the time she finished listening to everyone’s comments, time’s up.”

Our class representative says lazily.

Now that he mentioned it, Yuuji is right. Himeji-san would definitely be unable to give up on some decisions. Normally, this gentleness would be a plus, but at this moment, it’ll become a critical disadvantage.

“Also, Aki. Mizuki has to take part in the summoning battle as well.”

“Eh? Is that it?”

“Yes, I intend to take part in the tournament together with Minami.”

Himeji-san clenches her small fists tightly.

“It’s supposed to be just a school publicizing event, both of you really like to get involved.”

In our Fumitsuki Gakuen, there is a ‘test summoning system’ that the whole world is watching out for. And this year, it seems like they wanted to hold a ‘test summoning battle’ during the ‘cool summer festival’ to showcase this highly anticipated system to the world. However, I’m just not interested in this.

“It’s Mizuki who invited me to this tournament. Because she wanted to changed her stubborn father’s view and surprise him.”

“Change her dad’s view?”

“Hn, she said that her dad was grumbling about many things, so she said a lot of stuff to him angrily. Something like, ‘I won’t forgive you for treating F class as idiot!’.”

“Oh my, it’s rare for Himeji-san to get worked up.”

“Because otou-san [1] doesn’t understand anything at all, to treat everyone as idiots just because I’m sent to F class? I won’t forgive this.”

“…”

Sorry, even I, who understand everyone in the class well, feel that F class is an organization of idiots.

“So Himeji wants to form a F class team, win the tournament, and surprise her dad.”

I see, for Himeji-san, who’s second in our year, if she’s to team up with Minami, who can get rather decent marks if she can understand the question, it’s not impossible for them to win the tournament.

“Can the three of you get back on topic?”

“Ah, sorry Yuuji. It’s about letting Minami be the committee member, is it?”

“I already said that I’m taking part in the tournament.”

“Then we’ll just select an assistant committee member. Will that do?”

Yuuji glances at me. Don’t tell me he’s going to use me as a living sacrifice? But won’t Minami accept this sort of troublesome work if there is help?

“Hm…that’s right. If I can work together with the assistant committee member, I can do it…”

“Really? Then will everyone please nominate the substitute committee member? Shimada, please select two people for the final vote.”

Everyone okay? Yuuji asks the class. At this moment, names start to pop up from everywhere in the class.

“I feel that Yoshii is suited for this.”

“Wouldn’t Sakamoto be more suited for this?”

“I want to get married with Himeji-san.”

“Think we can just let Sugawa handle this.”

Maybe it’s time to get rid of these guys who are showing their passion to Himeji-san.

“I do feel that Akihisa can do this.”

The person who said these words is the beauty who always talk in an old fashioned way, Hideyoshi. Though he’s really a guy.

“But Hideyoshi, I don’t want to do such a troublesome thing—”

“About this, since everyone probably have the same opinion . why don’t we choose a suitable person?”

“Uu…you’re kinda right…”

Though I don’t know whether I’m suited for this, as he’s right, I can’t refute it.

However, there isn’t much difference. It doesn’t mean that everything’s settled once I’m nominated. Minami will have to choose two nominees, and once that is done, everyone has to decide.

“Nominee 1…Yoshii.”

Ah, it’s me.

“Nominee 2…Akihisa.”

Ah, it’s still me.

“Then now, can everyone please choose your nominee?”

“Oi, Yuuji, don’t you feel that there is something obviously wrong with the way Minami chose them?”

“So how? Who do you think is better?”

“About this…both of them are rubbish, there isn’t much difference.”

“OI! Stop acting as if you’re bothered! Also, those guys who are ridiculing your classmate as rubbish, you guys are rubbish among humans!”

Really, what’s wrong with my class’ reasoning?

“Oi oi, Aki. Compared to this trivial stuff, since it’s decided that I’m working with you, you have to come out here and settle what we are discussing.”

“Why do I feel that I’m always getting the short straw…”

Being prompted by Minami, I got up lazily and walk to the front.”

“Then I leave the rest to you, yawns—”

Yuuji replaces me and returns back to his own seat. He doesn’t even bother to suppress his yawning, revealing a lazy look.”

“I’ll lead this meeting. Aki, you’ll write the ideas on the board.”

“Un, got it.”

Standing in front of the tatter blackboard, I pick up the chalk that can’t be even shorter. Really, these facilities are in such bad conditions, is there even any way for us to study?

“Then now, please present your ideas. If you have any suggestions on what the class should do, please raise your hands, okay?”

After Minami finished speaking, several classmates raise their hands. Seems like not everyone is uninterested in this.

“Tsuchiya.”

“…(Getting up).”

The one being called out, standing up now, is one of my friends, Tsuchiya Kouta. Compared to his name, a nickname that he got for being perverted and silent—Mussulini, should be even well known.

“…Photo Gallery.”

“…Tsuchiya, I’m getting a dangerous vibe from your photo gallery idea.”

Minami says this without hiding her expression of disgust.

From the viewpoint of a female, Mussulini’s photos are rather disgusting. However, to the guys, that photo gallery can be said to be a mountain of gold. Maybe we can call it a peeping house.

“Nevermind, Aki, this can pass as a suggestion. Can you write it on the blackboard?”

“Got it.”

Eh, Mussulini’s proposal is—

‘Option 1: Photo gallery: ‘Secret Peeping house.’

“Next, Yokomizo.”

“A maid café—is what I want to say. I do feel that it’s unoriginal, so how about a bride’s café?”

“A bride’s café? What’s that?”

“Like an ordinary café, but the girls get to wear wedding gowns.”

Actually, it’s still a café, it’s just that we’re wearing different. The atmosphere has to be similar to that of a wedding event, no? This might be interesting.

“That’s definitely original.”

“There are also many girls who want it.”

“Isn’t it hard to move in them?”

“It’s going to be time consuming for us to prepare them.”

“Won’t the male customers hate it? Besides, a wedding is also called a human life’s grave.”

Such suggestions created a little commotion in class.

“Haiz, Aki, write down that suggestion on the board as well.”

“Ah, ngh.”

Being prompted by Minami, I face the blackboard again.

‘Option 2: Maid café ‘a human life’s grave.’

Really can’t stand this chalk that’s so hard to use. Seems like we really need some decent classroom facilities.

“Then, are there anymore—Sugawa.”

“I propose a Chinese café.”

Sugawa said this as he stood up.

“A Chinese café? You’re going to make the girls wear cheongsams?”

“Nope, not that. I propose that our tea shop sell some authentic oolong tea or some simple tea. This isn’t a business that uses sexy clothing to earn money. To begin with, they said that the term ‘food’ came from China [2]. In terms of ‘food’ culture, none of them are as profound as Chinese cuisine. Even though in recent years, the rise of the European culture is forcing Chinese cuisine onto the brink of elimination, in terms of food—”