Talk:Mushoku Tensei:Web Chapter 82

Since nobody really uses these pages I'm just going to list all my edits and questions here

I love you editors... I really do. This chapter jumps around a great deal in present and past tense between paragraphs so there is are bound to be mistakes in that area. Every change seems satisfactory so far. --Skui

Edits Made

• Added headers and subheaders

• In the Garden of plants where the blossoming white flowers were collected. (Capitalized plants)

• also known as, The Garden of White Lilies. (Capitalized also)

• instantly kills the guard of the princess (changed kills to killed)

• protected the princess' life (added s after ')

• Such as thing happening (as to a)

• A Demon appearing in the Royal Palace is an unprecedented incident. (is to was)

• who is charge of the Royal Palace's defense (added in after is)

• it's tentative collapse. (it's to its)

• It is a matter of course to receive well the hero (switched well and receive)(Maybe change in future to warmly instead of well?)

• well, The second princess Ariel (lowercase the for The)

• would not (contracted to wouldn't)

• time, The Princess and Luke would both be dead (The to the)

• [If the Princess say so.] (say to says)

Give me a sec be right back, computer problems

Questions on Changes

1. To the This word, Protection knight who are Luke also agreed. (I'm going to change this, To these words, Protection Knight Luke also agreed) >> sounds much better. I did make an error here though, Any instances of 'Protection knight' need to be changed to the more proper titled Guardian knight or Knight-guardian if they are spotted. Thanks! --Skui

I'm going to go with Guardian Knight -Marrow (talk) 11:26, 31 July 2014 (CDT)

2. Too luxurious was the bed. Too luxurious were the clothes the people wore. Too luxurious was the room. I don't know the reason why I'm in such a amazing luxurious place.

This seems awkward to me, would it be alright if I changed it to something like

(The bed, the peoples' clothing, and the room were all too luxurious.)I don't know the reason why I'm in such a amazing, luxurious place.

>> go ahead. I was just doing a line-by-line as it appeared, since he reiterates it like that in that section.

　シルフィは目覚めた瞬間、夢だと考えた。

　豪華すぎるベッド。 >> too luxurious (was the) bed

　豪華すぎる服を着た人達。 >> too luxurious (were the) clothes the people wore

　豪華すぎる部屋。 >> too luxurious (was the) room.

　自分がこんな豪華すぎる所にいる理由がわからなかった。

I was just doing a line-by-line and trying to keep it looking similar. Honestly it looks better just making it grammatically pleasant. He does this a few times, once at the beginning involving the demon attack, and a bit further on when talking about the 'genius boy' Rudeus. So, if you wish to polish those up, it's more than welcomed. --Skui

To be honest, I think the repetition was placed there purposely since it reads off like a list. Comparing

"The bed is too luxurious.

The people's clothes are too luxurious.

The room is too luxurious.

I don't know why I'm in such an amazing, luxurious place."

with

"The bed, the peoples' clothing, and the room were all too luxurious. I don't know why I'm in such an amazing, luxurious place."

You can see amount of emphasis placed the notion of luxury primarily because it is repeated so many times. The latter condenses it, so it loses a bit of that feeling.

This is just my take on it though. --Sarnik (talk) 11:53, 31 July 2014 (CDT)