Kämpfer:Volume 1 Chapter 3

Chapter 3

I carried Sakura-san to the school nurse's office. The passage to the girl's section was sealed off 'without permission men cannot enter the women's side' but now that 'I'm a woman' it was open to me.

I was carrying the feinted Sakura-san, feeling a bit unsteady at the situation. Akane left while laughing wholeheartedly. Crap, I'll get you for this. If I'm a pumpkin, you're a cabbage^{1 [see notes]}.

Nevertheless, Sakura-san's body was light and soft, and my heart beat loudly. I was touching the body of a woman I yearned for, if I died at that moment I would have died happy.

The person in charge of nurse's office in the girl's section was a man with awfully long hair. His voice sounded like a soccer game narrator. He pointed to a bed, said "lay her there", without taking his eyes off the paper he was reading. What good is a nurse's office without a nurse?

While I waited for quite a while after I left the infirmary, I wasn't changing back to a man. Akane had said that the time it takes to return at first is highly random, but what to do for now.

I could hide under the dead space under the stairs of the first floor (is that where bad girls smoke?).

While I was a woman in the girls section it still was strange to not be in a class. I wouldn't set off the "intruder alert" like I would if I were a guy, but still I couldn't just attend class either. First of all there wouldn't be a seat for me. I couldn't escape the school without alerting the police and getting into worse trouble.

I made a decision, since I was already here I would stealthily explore the girl's section. Well, I couldn't look too stealthy without drawing attention.

I pretended I was a Shitetsu-Gakuin Girl's student, and climb the stairs.

Now that I had the time to look around, the girl's side was quite beautiful. Even through the building's astringent era of style, the interior was spotless and clean. Coming from the boy's side the difference was immense, the boy's cleaning seemed sloppy. The smell of the place was inviting. To say that I wasn't curious to look around would be a lie. This heart-pounding feeling matched the exhilaration of a young grade school boy peeking into the girl's bathroom.

I wasn't discovered by school staff. Even though I had "I'm running an errand for the teacher" excuse prepared, it was never used. As I walked I grew more brave and started walking with a grand swagger.

A lone girl walked towards me. She had long hair, giving her a look of innocence. I quickened my steps as we approached. As she passed she was looking down. She was wearing a sailor uniform with signs of wear, but the wear disagreed with the insignia on her collar indicating a first year student. She must be innocent.

As we passed each other, and I started to feel relieved I heard a muttering "...she's so cool". Cool?

"I'm sorry."

She was hailing me.

"You're a senpai?"

My appearance is as her senior, so I silently nodded.

"How do I get to the student council room? I have to drop off something, but I don't know the way..."

Hahaa. Lost on campus? It's to be expected. The school may be small, but when you think everything is straight you'd end up at a dead end. It's like being in thick woods and not being able to see your way. After all, the school was constructed as addition on top of addition.

As for the student council room it isn't in this building, it's attached to the library.

When I thought about explaining, I realized I still had a masculine voice, so I pointed my finger in silence.

"...." the girl was confused.

"Well, uh ..."

Hmm, I decided to talk just a little. "Over there." I pointed my finger out the window and was about to walk off.

"That... what?" she was talking timidly. "Can't you guide me?"

"..." what a pain.

Of course I know how to get to the library, I just came from there. I entered the girl's side even though I'm not a girl. What happens if I return to a boy while guiding her? This seems to be my fate, or my ending. "FIN" / the end.

My answer, "even if you ask..." oops, I had used my natural voice. I talk too much.

The long hair girl looked disheartened, by recovered immediately.

"I want a senpai to show me around."

Why is that?

"I just transferred, I don't know my way around Shitetsu-Gakuin academy, but I'd like to know more senpai!"

I was drowned in the details.

Well, I do seem to know my way around. I'm a boy in the second grade, and someone just tried to kill me in the library. Of all the students on the boy's side, other than Higashida, I am the most knowledgeable about the girl's side. Higashida knows more, but he wasn't called.

I took a look at my bracelet to see if there were any signs of it glowing, it still looked fine.

I shrugged my shoulders and signaled her to follow.

The girl enthusiastically follows me, with a skip in her step. We walked out of the building into the courtyard.

She started talking casually.

"Second grade, huh?"

I can't deny it, my collar emblem can be easily seen.

"I'm glad I was admitted to a school with super-cool senpai!"

It made me feel good to get praised like that, plus it was my first time being called "senpai".

"Please tell me your name"

What should I say... The name Senou Natsuru is a man's name and not suitable for women. In the first place, I'm a boy who shouldn't be in the girl's section. I have no choice but to keep silent again.

"Hey, sen - pa - i!"

This girl, who I thought was shy, was becoming very familiar with me.

"Please tell me," as she casually grabbed my arm.

"..." of course I still pretended not to hear. The girl puffed up her cheeks.

"Fine, if you don't tell me I'll yell and get you caught. I know you're a second-year student cutting class."

Wait, wait... If you did that, the story would get very complicated.

This girl obviously didn't care. It didn't matter that she didn't know the circumstances were so unusual, and didn't know my predicament. It looked like she was enjoying my nervousness.

"Eh ..."

"Better to just tell me, no?" she sidled up to me with a cruel, peculiar, smile.

Where could I run and escape? The same instant I prayed 'heaven help me', and heard a bell chime.

'BONG' 'BONG', the end of class.

It was a boring math class I had skipped, but I didn't care.

"Over there!" I pointed to the student council room with my finger and quickly turned my back. After being paralyzed I didn't want to face the students coming from the girl's section.

As I tried to move away, that girl still clung to my arm.

"Ah... please wait" she wasn't moving towards the student council room.

A crowd of school girls streamed out of the building. I could say that I had to quickly get to a specific classroom. That should be an excuse to get away from her. Yeah, right, she wouldn't care.

"It's... Natsuru-san?" came a weak whisper. In a group of sailor suits, I saw a surprised Akane.

It was the form she had before turning into the vicious-dog girl.

"Oh... what went wrong?"

I whispered my answer, "the transformation hasn't happened yet."

"That's a long time, but why are you still here?"

"I was asked to guide..."

Just then the long-haired girl yelled "Oh wow, Akane!"

Akane was shocked, "Masumi-chan ...!"

"...is it, that Akane is an acquaintance of senpai?"

"Senpai... you mean Natsuru-san?"

Before I could say 'baka', the girl called Masumi grew a foolish grin.

Akane understood, "Natsuru-san wasn't... referring to... ", she panicked.

I panicked too.

Masumi started laughing from her belly, "so, Akane and Natsuru-san are acquaintances!"

"...as for that... what is Masumi-chan doing in a place like this?"

"The teacher sent me on an errand, yup yup!"

I stealthily asked Akane ("you know each other?")

("It's... we've been friends since we were a year old...")

From a year old, compared to Akane, she had grown relatively impudent.

"Well Akane, thanks for teaching me Natsuru's name!"

"Teaching..."

"Yes, aside from you, I also want to be chummy with Natsuru-san. But... I think that may be impossible..."

"Why not just ask Natsuru-san directly?"

"That's... impossible. Akane will teach me then."

The actors may have changed, but the situation was familiar. Masumi was brandishing Akane, just as the vicious-dog girl brandished her gun while yelling "kill!" There was no sign of the timid nervous girl from the hallway any longer.

I was nervous, too nervous. I had no clue when was the transformation going to happen. Fortunately there was no change in the bracelet, but I had to pay attention to it.

Akane was being interrogated by Masumi and looked about ready to cry.

I winked at Akane and indicated the boy's side with a flick of my eyes.

"I think... Natsuru-san is busy, therefore... and I have the same business as Natsuru-san, so..."

"When school ends... is a little..."

I stiffened... this could be trouble. I pulled Akane.

("You're exposing everything... you talk too much")

("I, what can I say... because I...")

("Just give a simple lie. Don't tell my whole story when you've just reunited.")

("...yeah, I understand, but we need to buy you some clothes.")

Page 99

("as far as that goes... it's already going to be painful.")

("Natsuru-san, you need to prepare for your needs.")

("...I'll just run away, anywhere but here.")

I ran away, with the feeling of being an antelope. Masumi's voice was pleading "wait you two" from behind us. Of course, I pretended not to hear; even a 20-ton truck couldn't stop me.

I escaped and decided to hide out in the women's bathroom of the library. I quietly locked myself in a private stall.

Trying to stay quiet and waste time in a toilet stall is not recommended. My bracelet still did nothing, I quickly got bored. I tried to sleep by leaning against the wall, but that didn't work either.

I sat in that stall until all classes let out; it was praiseworthy. Even then there was no sign of transforming back to a man.

After the day's end rush went through I finally made it outside. My body ached and my bones creaked so loudly I thought my joins would break.

I blended in with the leaving students. I was excited, it would be my first time passing through the girl's school gates.

Girls were staring at me from every side. Needless to say it felt like every student of the Shitetsu-Gakuin Girl's academy. My mood was still overcast from not being able to return to being a boy, otherwise the attention would have been amazing.

As I passed through the school gates I heard a voice.

"Natsuru-san." It was Akane.

Her head was still down, but somehow it looked even lower than usual.

I walked up to her, "your homeroom got out early?"

"Yes... it got out early. Since Natsuru-san was going to shop for clothes, I decided to wait."

"Ah... that's right. Thank you."

"I'm sorry."

"For what?" Did something happen?

"There's a person who wants to go with us..."

"What?"

"She said that if Natsuru-san buys a dress, she absolutely must go also... I'm sorry."

"Like who?"

"...someone like me..." That girl I had escaped from earlier appeared with a smile from ear-to-ear.

Her statistics:

Full name: Nishino Masumi.

Number of classes taken: three for year one.

Blood type: B.

Hobby: likes to listen to music while sleeping.

Sizes: by all means please confirm her three sizes by yourself.

She told all this without prompting. In fact she was jumping with excitement to tell me. The only thing I didn't hear were her childhood diseases.

Of course, I asked Akane ("why her?")

("She... she chased after me and all attempts to evade her failed.")

("But she's so eager to join us.")

("True, when it comes to Natsuru-san, she has taken a keen interest...")

("Should we run again?")

("I doubt we'd escape...")

So, I ended up shopping with two girls; one quiet, one noisy. Masumi led us while skipping, Akane and I were depressed. To the world it appeared we were being led by a wonton goddess bewitching us.

"Natsuru-san, you're buying clothes?" The question accompanied Masumi's smile.

I didn't want to answer any more than necessary. "Yeah..."

"Wow, answered just like a man!" came her biting reply.

She wasn't wrong, I am a man.

"Just clothes, nothing else?"

I wanted to say 'absolutely', but this sailor-suit wearing reporter will likely complain again. I glared at her, then refused to opened my mouth.

"Like today's dinner."

That was true. There was no sign of my transformation coming. I'd prefer to go home and stay indoors, but there's no food there and I wanted to have more than just water overnight.

"Natsuru-san, you cook for yourself? Whatever I shove into my microwave always bursts into flames and I get scolded by my mother."

I sympathize with her mother.

As for my cooking ability, I can make a decent curry. My remaining ability is limited to cup-ramen, but I wouldn't call that cooking; nothing to be proud of. According to rumors, Sakura-san is a very good cook. If I return to a man I'd love to confirm that.

Akane simply said "really...?" and wouldn't say any more after I had whispered that thought to her. She seemed awfully angry for some reason.

To my favor Masumi continued talking loudly, trying to decide where we should go.

"If you just want a side-dish, the shopping center's supermarket is super cheap. Let's go"

Masumi was leading. Is it human nature to follow whoever leads? We walked along in a triangle with Masumi at its vertex. Glances at us were coming from all sides; they were directed at me. Both men and women were staring. As a man walked by my body shuddered from his attention; it was so embarrassing. 'Hey, this isn't a peep show!' I wanted to scream. But then someone would call a policeman, it's wiser to walk in silence.

Top and bottom I'm wore a Shitetsu-Gakuin uniform. My uniform wouldn't draw attention since it's a popular school in that area. Glances at me increased... but I had no idea why. If a new freshman started wearing the school uniform, wouldn't it be similar?

There was too much attention. I am not very self-conscious, but all the gazes centered on me was very distracting; I even forgot that we were shopping. Does being a woman feel like this?

"People are looking at Natsuru-san..." Masumi had a way of speaking without any form of delicacy.

"Since Natsuru-san is cool and tall, she is the center of attention. Stares are being shot her way."

Why was I being targeted? It could be my height. I was average height for a man, but a head taller than most women. Certainly the tallest of us three.

Maybe my transformation mixed parts of a man and women together... just as I was starting to develop an idea someone called.

"Hey!"

It was a man's voice. I tried to ignore it and keep walking.

"Wait," as my shoulder was gripped.

His coat was familiar, a boy from our school. I recognized his face, it was my classmate Higashida, idiot; reduced to a fool.

"Such a group? So lovely!"

Dense guy; was this a pick-up? Maybe it was casual flirtation. Higashida relaxed his expression and scoped me out; yeah, it was a pick-up.

From the badge on my collar he knew that I was also a second grade student.

Frightened Akane hid behind me. Masumi said "hey hey, stop flirting, let's go."

Higashida, however, was talking only to me.

"Hey, I also go to Seitetsu. Tell me your name, I'm second year student Higashida."

Why me? His tone of voice was very creepy. Being a woman at the moment gave me a completely different view of this guy. I had no idea that he talked so easily to girls, or talked so much. He could compete with Masumi for nonstop talking. I wished both would follow Akane's example.

Higashida continued, "I'm not bad, not an otaku, I'm a normal guy." This coming from the chairman of the nymph club, trying to catch me. Normally I wouldn't care, but right then it would be a problem.

I shook his hand off my shoulder. How can a guy like this act in a totally familiar manner to an unknown girl? The feel of the conversation was disgusting. I had to be careful.

Higashida took out a digital camera. "My hobby is taking photos, I'd like to get one of you. Right now I'm collecting pictures of beautiful girls in Seitetsu Academy. No problem, right?"

How could any girl fall for that lame pick-up line? It must have worked at least once though.

Masumi shouted "I... I am...?" Akane still hid behind me, powerless in fear.

I silently shook my head.

In the case of that guy, he may recognize my voice.

"I'm asking you because you'd make a lovely model. It will only take a moment, no problem, right?"

Guys must think I look lovely. From looking in the mirror at myself that first time I know how lovely I look.

"Shall we start?"

"Hey..."

"You have an astringent voice, my favorite kind."

Any girls voice is your favorite. You'd say the same to Masumi. You're trying to court the Senou Natsuru who attends the same class as you. If he ever determined who I really was, his bubble would burst and it would be a trip to the hospital for me.

I ignored him and walked away. I had to buy a meal and some clothes. I even wanted to buy my weekly manga.

I could feel the back of my neck tingling, was it a mosquito?

"Forget the food for now, lets buy clothes first." I told both my companions. "Let's run!"

"...hey!"

"Where are you going? Don't you want to be in my photo collection? Model girl..."

Akane and I signaled each other with our eyes, excluding Masumi. Higashida could still be heard "...I want you in my collection. It's a chance of a lifetime."

Akane and I dashed of unexpectedly, Masumi quickly followed. Model your own photos.

We escaped the shopping center and made it to the front of the station. The crowds were very thick and Higashida was left far behind. However I still have to buy some women's clothes. Maybe in Ito-Yokado or Jusco? I decided to ask Akane.

"Right inside the station is a cute shop with nice clothing. Turn in right here."

I did as she said. I'd never been shopping for clothes here before. I had bought a lot of box lunches in the station basement, but they were usually stale. I jumped through the shop's front door and caught my breath. Higashida never found us.

"Well..." I looked at the store directory. The store name on the sign looked like Buddhist scriptures written in Sanskrit to my eyes.

"It is this shop."

Akane pointed to the third floor.

As we rose on the escalator Masumi was excitedly saying "clothes, clothes..." I wondered if she had done some bad drugs.

We ended up at a select shop, permeated with a sense of loveliness. The age group it targeted was high-school or a bit higher.

"Because Natsuru-san is so beautiful, I thought of this store..." Akane said while she blushed slightly.

I said "thank you..." and gave her a bow. I have no edge when it comes to fashion. I couldn't even answer a single question when it comes to brand names; even less about women's fashion. Even if the shop was named 'A Fashionable Brand popular in Zaire' I would believe it.

Masumi quickly danced into the store saying "I'll also choose a dress...". Akane slowly entered, and I followed timidly.

In that way I entered into a women's clothing shop the first time since I was born. Dresses were lined up from the walls to the corridors. The variety of choices was huge when compared to a men's shop. There was everything from t-shirts to skirts and socks to regrettable underwear. 'Regrettable?'

I vacantly watched the two girls going through clothes. I had no idea what would look good from all these ladies things, even if this trip was for me.

Masumi started screaming "over here, over here..." then "Natsuru-san, this, this!" She held up a t-shirt covered by a picture of two crossed chainsaws. Over the chainsaws in bold text was 'KILL Teacher, KILL Cop'.

"..."

"It totally suits you, please wear it to class!"

Would she take responsibility for me when I get expelled? I silently shook my head. Would it be worn under the uniform or over it?

Masumi immediately takes out another "...then maybe this."

It was a shirt showing a large Christian cross with words underneath 'an absolute swindler ↑' written in Gothic font.

"During Christmas let's wear this and walk around town." Japanese people are mostly tolerant of religious views, but how much before it's considered rude? Should it be worn just to irritate Christians?

Before I could even shake my head Masumi showed another. "There's also one like this, it's perfect!"

'BURN! BURN! NUKE, BURN!' What's not perfect about that, heh.

It's useless, this woman can't find anything good for me.

However, why just those items. Is this shop for punk rockers and fans of death metal? Do they carry any decent clothes?

Akane joined us carrying a one piece dress. Black with thin shoulder straps. Certainly a fashionable style worn by girls.

"This might... look good on Natsuru-san..."

I wouldn't know. I wasn't used to thinking of looking good in a dress. It was thickly embroidered in silver skulls with crossbones. How to refuse?

"I... I think it suits Natsuru-san."

Masumi showed me a jacket with the back covered by a picture and the words 'Vlad the Impaler exterminates the Turkish army.'

Akane took out a skirt "how's this?" It was embroidered with 'come ON enteritis.' I had to look up enteritis at home, 'enteritis?'²

Next was a shirt with a picture of two people, a farmer holding a hoe and a tax collector. Under the picture were the words 'Don't get a lawyer to fight a child's battle!'

Masumi held up a jacket with a picture of a Tokugawa Shogun riding a motorcycle and holding up his sword overlaid on a picture of a flame-red phoenix in flight. The back had the text 'I AM SHOGUN, HAHAHA!' the front had smaller letters 'I. Tokugawa'.

[Note: Chapter isn't finished yet. I'm at p111. Chapter 3 is from p90 to p179.] --Kondou

Notes

¹Cabbage Note: I think this is a colloquial phrase / idiom. What is it supposed to mean? Your guess is as good as mine. If you want to try translating it:

くそ、覚えてろよ。俺がカボチャならお前はキャベツだ。 {Kuso, oboe tero yo. Ore ga kabochanara omae wa kyabetsuda.}

²en·ter·i·tis /ˌentəˈrītis/

Noun: Inflammation of the intestine, esp. the small intestine, usually accompanied by diarrhea.

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