Editing Talk:Tasogare-iro no Uta Tsukai

I'm not sure what happened to Mystrael after his school ended but my RL work project had a huge push for release and I just got swamped. This week is a bit crazy so I'll start translating again next week. Also if anyone else is interested in translating I have transcribed all of chapter 3 and I think most / all of chapter 4. [[User:Catahn|Catahn]] ([[User talk:Catahn|talk]]) 12:28, 18 June 2013 (CDT)

Ok Mystrael and I are back in communication and we are going to be working hard this summer to bring you guys more chapters. And as you may have noticed he put up chapter 3! All praise the great and mighty Mystrael! [[User:Catahn|Catahn]] ([[User talk:Catahn|talk]]) 12:04, 22 June 2013 (CDT)

Ehhh.... I'm not "great and mighty" at all... But yeah, the Interval Play is up too, so enjoy! --[[User:Mystrael|Mystrael]] ([[User talk:Mystrael|talk]]) 13:06, 22 June 2013 (CDT)

Wow. I need to admit; this new look is better than the old one. Btw, just wondering, has this project become stalled? O.o - [[User:RasteShelphyd|RasteShelphyd]] ([[User talk:RasteShelphyd|talk]]) 10:07, 12 March 2014 (CDT)

Oh, what happened with Mystrael? --[[User:Darklor|Darklor]] ([[User talk:Darklor|talk]]) 06:54, 26 November 2012 (CST)

Wish I knew, at the same time I am grateful because it gave me a good reason to start learning how to translate which should improve my command of both Japanese and English.[[User:Catahn|Catahn]] ([[User talk:Catahn|talk]]) 14:31, 26 November 2012 (CST)

What happened with Mystrael? Hmm. Reality kidnapped him! [[User:Zeru|Zeru]] ([[User talk:Zeru|talk]]) 16:55, 26 November 2012 (CST)

I have pages 1-6 translated, though 黎明の神鳥やアーマのような、どこか朧気な声じゃない。is giving me a headache. Does this sound right? "Like the Bird God of Dawn, Arma, and the rest, the vague voice came from nowhere."

Argh this is seriously giving me grief. I originally had it translated differently but just realized that I "think" that the Bird God of Dawn had a similar mention when he first spoke to Kluelu.

I'm hoping to have the rest done by this weekend.[[User:Catahn|Catahn]] ([[User talk:Catahn|talk]]) 16:25, 27 November 2012 (CST)

It should be more like 'Like the Avian God of Dawn..." the rest makes no grammatical sense. [[User:Zeru|Zeru]] ([[User talk:Zeru|talk]]) 21:50, 27 November 2012 (CST)

Even the google translate meaning is screwed up 'Armor of God, such as birds and dawn, not faint voice somewhere.' [[User:Zeru|Zeru]] ([[User talk:Zeru|talk]]) 21:55, 27 November 2012 (CST)

I used Bird God of Dawn (Phoenix) because it makes some sense to me and it was also used by the previous translator in chapter 4. For the moment let's rework the sentence a little:

So 黎明の神鳥やアーマのような would be PhoenixやArmaのような, どこか朧気な声じゃない.

I think that this is similar to what can be found in chapter when Phoenix speaks to Kluele for the first time.

*『Bird without feathers. Chick who broke out of its shell. You are—』

From some faraway place, sounded an unclear voice like an echo. Whether it was male or female couldn’t be distinguished. A sound that didn’t belong to this world, with a mysterious tone.*

If that is the case then I think that in general that the sentence is saying that like the Phoenix, Arma, and the other true spirits (ya being the etc type connecter) the vague voice was coming from nowhere in particular. But dang if that isn't an awkward sentence. [[User:Catahn|Catahn]] ([[User talk:Catahn|talk]]) 10:21, 28 November 2012 (CST)

Oh and does anyone recognize this character from the story? サージェス (Romanji: Saajesu). I tried skimming across all the currently translated chapters but didn't see anyone I could link this name to. If he hasn't appeared before what would be a good translation of this name?

[[User:Catahn|Catahn]] ([[User talk:Catahn|talk]]) 10:26, 28 November 2012 (CST)

I'm not a translator, but I'm pretty sure that refers to the classmate "Serges". Her name appears a few times in some of the volume 1 chapters. I checked the Japanese wikipedia page for the series (http://ja.wikipedia.org/wiki/黄昏色の詠使い), and the Characters section has that script next to the English text "Serges Ophelia". And I'll add my thanks to the list for picking this up and finishing the cliffhanger. --[[User:Cthaeh|Cthaeh]] ([[User talk:Cthaeh|talk]]) 11:28, 28 November 2012 (CST)

Arigatou Gozaimasu. I will bookmark that link (didn't even know it existed till you put that there). And darnit didn't even think to translate that as a g instead of a j :P. Though I wouldn't have changed the a to an e either...[[User:Catahn|Catahn]] ([[User talk:Catahn|talk]]) 12:21, 28 November 2012 (CST)

Oh. so that was referring to the Phoenix I thought it was referring to Arma. [[User:Zeru|Zeru]] ([[User talk:Zeru|talk]]) 22:46, 29 November 2012 (CST)

Translating the last page (But won't be done before church so probably won't be done done till this evening). And I come across this:<br/>

そう。あ、い、つ、が、腕、を、折、っ、た、の、は、お、前、の、せ、い、だ。<br/>

(Translation:)Yes. The reason she broke her arm was your fault.<br/>

How would you (in english) create something similar? Would it be with commas like the original? Periods like this?<br/>

(Translation:)Yes.... The. reason. she. broke. her. arm. was. your. fault.<br/>

It fascinates me how there is so much that can be expressed in one langauge that cannot be in another. [[User:Catahn|Catahn]] ([[User talk:Catahn|talk]]) 11:03, 2 December 2012 (CST)

Usually you use dashes in English, syllable by syllable. [[User:Florza|Florza]] ([[User talk:Florza|talk]]) 11:13, 2 December 2012 (CST)

Thanks.

And now, brain seriously hurting....

片翼が詠び出されぬ限り、もう片翼もまた出ることができない<br/>

I originally translated that as:<br/>

To recite out one wing is the best of my ability. I can't call out another wing again so soon.

But... I am seriously doubting that is right at the same time I cannot for the life of me figure out what 出されぬ is supposed to mean. Is the ぬ negative? Why can't I find a conjugation of Dasu or Deru that yields Da/De-sare.

Leave 片翼 as One Wing, 詠び is him taking Yobu and using the Yo from 詠 (To Recite) instead of the normal Yo from (to call).

Keep in mind that original translation was pretty early on and I've matured a bit since then. I'm just so stumped by the first half that I haven't even thought of how to improve the second half. It is just that mind bending.

Oh and I underestimated how much time was needed to finish Part 1's read through. So this part will be up tomorrow morning.[[User:Catahn|Catahn]] ([[User talk:Catahn|talk]]) 21:20, 2 December 2012 (CST)

Final Chapter Part 1 is up. [[User:Catahn|Catahn]] ([[User talk:Catahn|talk]]) 09:33, 4 December 2012 (CST)

Hmm..still no update...

Well, it's only been a month since the last update, so I guess it's not that weird... ( ‾́ .̮.̮‾̀) - [[User:RasteShelphyd|RasteShelphyd]] ([[User talk:RasteShelphyd|talk]]) 08:15, 9 January 2013 (CST)

If you look at Catahn talk page ([[User talk:Catahn|talk]]) you can see his progress. --[[User:Bilagaana|Bilagaana]] ([[User talk:Bilagaana|talk]]) 11:01, 9 January 2013 (CST)

Yay~ Update~!

And... that Evhemary at the end..... AAAA---!!! (TT A TT) - [[User:RasteShelphyd|RasteShelphyd]] ([[User talk:RasteShelphyd|talk]]) 06:12, 18 February 2013 (CST)

Ok, RL isn't so crazy anymore (and I shouldn't be disappearing again like that.) Already in communication with Mystrael and am working on Volume 2, Chapter 2. [[User:Catahn|Catahn]] ([[User talk:Catahn|talk]]) 16:59, 20 March 2013 (CDT)

==About title==

Isn't the title supposed to be Eve? Not Evhe? Just Asking.

[[User:Black_Saber|Black_Saber]] ([[User talk:Black_Saber|talk]]) 6:46 2013/02/19 (GMT+7)

Her full name is イブマリー , officially spelled Evhemary. So when it's written as her nickname イブ in the text, I shortened her name to Evhe, keeping the 'h'. -- [[User:Mystrael|Mystrael]] ([[User talk:Mystrael|talk]]) 19:09, 18 February 2013 (CST)

Mystrael and I just talked about this. We are thinking of changing Evhe to Eve. The primary reason for this is Eve relates to the woman of origin title that we see in the end of the first volume. Also Arma did mention that he gave that name to her. Though there really isn't a clear cut answer one way or another. Nor is it that major of a difference in either case. So if you have a thought or opinion on the matter let us know. We'll probably make our final decision, one way or the other, next week. [[User:Catahn|Catahn]] ([[User talk:Catahn|talk]]) 09:59, 1 April 2013 (CDT)

Just my 2 cents, but Eve is too mainstream. [[User:Arczyx|Arczyx]] ([[User talk:Arczyx|talk]]) 10:40, 1 April 2013 (CDT)

== Contents ==

I arbitrarily added volume 3 contents.

Here's original in case of repairs.

* 序奏 『―――――――』

* 回奏 『私がそこで見たものは――』

* 序奏・第二幕　『イ短調の音色』

* 一奏 『知られざる歌の鼓動』

* 敗者の詩章・一 『{{Furigana|Deus, Arma?|なぜ　牙を剥く}}』

* 二奏 『もしあたしが戻らなかったら――』

* 三奏 『好い夜だと思わないか――Kluele Sophi Net――』

* 間奏 『小さな夜が歌う夜――Neight Yehlemihas――』

* 四奏 『痛み・熱・疼き――声』

* 敗者の詩章・二 『私は灰と誇りに流れゆく』

* 間奏・第二幕 『あの日あの時、お前は何を見た』

* 敗者の詩章・三 『未だ知られざる歌の鼓動』

* 終奏 『夜色の卵の孵るとき』

* 敗者の詩章・四 『{{Furigana|Deus――Arma Riris|なぜ　約束に牙を剥く}}』

* 贈奏 『いつまでも、ここは憩いの場所だから』

* 追奏 『異端の長たち』

* あとがき

[[User:Angelanime|Angelanime]] ([[User talk:Angelanime|talk]]) 04:22, 11 June 2013 (CDT)

Volume 4 title: 踊る世界、イヴの調律

Also volume 4 contents:

* 虚奏 『心のかけら』

* 序奏 『ツァラベル、涙と呼ばれた島で』

* 一奏 『砕きの緋』

* 間奏 『異端長』

* 二奏 『ゆりかご、眠り、静かな夜』

* 三奏 『最も長くて深い夜の始まり』

* 間奏・第二幕 『ゲシュタルロア――風が砕けた島で』

* 四奏 『空白と夜明けの交叉』

* 五奏 『アマリリス踊る、狂えよ世界の調律』

* 間奏・第三幕 『謳う決意の調べ』

* 終奏 『夜色の理由。全てを映す夜空の下で』

* 連奏 『誰よりも遠い場所で』

* 贈奏 『こんなにも近い場所で』

* あとがき

[[User:Angelanime|Angelanime]] ([[User talk:Angelanime|talk]]) 05:55, 11 June 2013 (CDT)

５

* 序奏 『伝えられない、ということ』

* 一奏 『別れる、ということ』

* 間奏・第一幕 『ミシュダル　―孤独―』

* 間奏・第二幕 『カインツ　―風の道標―』

* 二奏 『見失う、ということ』

* 間奏・第三幕 『アルヴィル　―流浪―』

* 三奏 『苦しむ、ということ』

* 四奏 『そんな全ての残酷を心に負って』

* 空奏 『{{Furigana|deus Arma riris?|なぜわたしたちを引き離す}}』

* 五奏 『それでも　あなたのそばにいたいから』

* 間奏・第四幕 『シャオ　―弱き者―』

* 間奏・第五幕 『レイン　―名詠式って、なんですか―』

* 六奏 『目覚めの時、紡ぐ約束』

* 終奏 『あなたは詠うように微笑んで』

* 贈奏 『始まりは、風歌うこの場所で』

* あとがき

６

* 赤奏 『あなたに贈る小さな黒歌』

* 緑奏 『探せ、そいつはあたしのだ！』

* 青奏 『アマデウスを超えし者』

* 白奏 『花園に一番近い場所』

* 黄奏 『走れ、そういつはあたしのだ！』

* 紅奏 『また会う日までの夜想曲』

* 禁律・夜奏 『アマリリスは真夜に咲いて』

* 禁律・空奏 『そしてシャオの福音来たり』

* あとがき

７

* 序奏 『シャオ、汝ただ佇立する者よ』

* 一奏 『予覚』

* 二奏 『未踏』

* 間奏 『足音』

* 三奏 『{{Furigana|再憶|さいおく}}』

* 間奏・第二幕 『四年前　―そして三年前―』

* 四奏 『灰色』

* 五奏 『ただそこに佇立する者』

* 六奏 『新約の扉、詠う世界の祈りよ響け』

* 七奏・陽 『夜　―{{Furigana|予兆|ざわめき}}―』

* 七奏・月 『夜　―{{Furigana|始音|こどう}}―』

* 終奏 『夜　―微笑ムヨウニ―』

* あとがき

８

* 序奏 『微笑ムヨウニ』

* 一奏 『付きそう者の決意は清く』

* 間奏 『イ短調』

* 二奏 『セラの庭園』

* 緋奏 『百億の星にリリスは祈り』

* 三奏 『決別』

* 間奏・第二幕 『友達として』

* 四奏 『せめてこの血の燃え尽きたその先に』

* 緋奏・第二幕 『最も永く、深く、冷たい夜の中で』

* 終奏 『交わり、そして更なる時の中心へ』

* 贈奏 『友達だから』

* あとがき

９

* 序奏 『忘れもの』

* 一奏 『選択、そして分岐』

* 血奏 『始まりに炎あり』

* 二奏 『吼える世界』

* 三奏 『分岐、そして集い』

* 四奏 『それは一瞬の虹のように　―枯れ草色の―』

* 五奏 『殻より目覚めるもの』

* 終奏 『微笑ムヨウニ、君泣イテ』

* 間奏 『荒野を往くもの』

* 序奏 『夜明け前』

* あとがき

１０

* 夜奏 『あなたは夜明けに微笑んで』

* 空奏 『そしてシャオの礼讃来たり』

* 真奏 『全ての歌を夢見る子供たちの塔』

* 真奏 『百億の星に少女は祈り』

* 真奏 『新約の扉、汝ミクヴァへ挑む者』

* 真奏 『黄昏に愛された者よ、歌と絆と涙を継いで』

* 終奏 『夜明け色の詠使い』

* 贈奏 『いつかどこかで、またきっと』

* あとがき

[[User:Angelanime|Angelanime]] ([[User talk:Angelanime|talk]]) 17:05, 12 June 2013 (CDT)

== Use of Brackets for Arma's Speech and the Double Naming Cause Trouble in Epub ==

I want to propose changing 『』 to [] for Arma's speech. I used Epub format to read it and the 『』 were all replaced by ??. Similarly the case for the furigana-like use of double naming became that both names were following each other, for example Pegasus Winged Horse. If possible, the use of only one would be better, in the mentioned example Pegasus would suffice. [[Tasogare-iro no Uta Tsukai: Names and Terminology Guidelines]] - Using the furigana names from that list would be enough, if it's not possible, then putting the second name to () brackets would suffice. [[User:Angelanime|Angelanime]] ([[User talk:Angelanime|talk]]) 13:17, 11 June 2013 (CDT)

Personally, I wouldn't mind changing Arma's speech brackets to []. As for the furigana, turning {{Furigana|Winged Horse|Pegasus}} to just Pegasus is part of the terminology changes I plan to make when I have the time. However, I think furigana like {{Furigana|First Scale Recitation|High Noble Aria}} should be kept since the two have significantly different meanings (and to stick to the author's naming conventions). Just out of curiosity, if furigana is a problem for Epub, how is it being treated on other projects?

Also, thank you for adding the information for volumes 3 and 4. I've been busy these few months with school, and Catahn has been busy also. After final exams are over in the next two weeks, I should be getting back to translating again. Sorry for the long delay! --[[User:Mystrael|Mystrael]] ([[User talk:Mystrael|talk]]) 20:56, 11 June 2013 (CDT)

Ok. I'm not sure how's furigana in other projects, but do as you see fit. I'll be thankful if you changed Arma's brackets. About volume info, it's no problem! :) I'll add the info for the remaining volumes as well. Feel free to adjust the chapters' titles. Uhm, I wanted to mention the second volume subtitle "The Way of the Songstress". Using "Aria" seems good (or using Solo, Solo Road, Solo Way, Solo Path...), but also is there not the particular "wa" at the end? 奏でる少女の道行きは -Shouldn't then the correct translation be "The Aria of the Songstress is-"? [[User:Angelanime|Angelanime]] ([[User talk:Angelanime|talk]]) 06:14, 12 June 2013 (CDT)

I feel like 道行き is mainly used to indicate Ada's dilemma of what path she goes down (Reciter vs. Exorcist), so I think 'Way' works the best (the 'Aria' meaning is more for sticking to the musical theme of the series). And yes, you are correct about the "wa" with meaning "is..." But in English, adding the hanging question at the end of a book title sounds awkward to me. Because it is titled 'The Way of the Songstress', I feel like it's implied that we will find out about it and what it is. But if anyone has a different opinion, feel free to comment! --[[User:Mystrael|Mystrael]] ([[User talk:Mystrael|talk]]) 18:07, 20 June 2013 (CDT)

Reading the recent chapters, for example ''My path is nowhere else but here - Hir be qusi Gillisu xshao ele sm thes, neckt ele'', I think that using "The Path of the Songstress" would be the best. [[User:Angelanime|Angelanime]] ([[User talk:Angelanime|talk]]) 06:01, 21 June 2013 (CDT)

Agreed... Changed the title to "The Path of the Songstress". And thank you for making the updates page :) --[[User:Mystrael|Mystrael]] ([[User talk:Mystrael|talk]]) 12:24, 21 June 2013 (CDT)

You're welcome. I just fell in love with this series. Doing minor editing like that is fun while waiting for the next chapter. Looking forward for more! And thanks for today's update. :) [[User:Angelanime|Angelanime]] ([[User talk:Angelanime|talk]]) 14:47, 21 June 2013 (CDT)

== Editor ==

I'm interested in becoming an editor for this project and was wondering if you would like some assistance. I'm a native English speaker and proficient with the written language. If you are willing to accept me then I am more then willing to spend some of my free time reading and editing! -- [[User:JesseAlexander|JesseAlexander]] ([[User talk:JesseAlexander|talk]]) 23:57, 7 September 2013 (CDT)

Most of the projects here do not require permission to do that, so you're free to start editing :) [[User:Arczyx|Arczyx]] ([[User talk:Arczyx|talk]]) 06:28, 8 September 2013 (CDT)

As one of the two translators for the project I am all for a competent editor. Personally I am translating to both increase my Japanese skills as well as increase my English competence. Both of which I've found to be needing development.

Would you be willing to send me feedback on common mistakes that I make? I could use all the English feedback that I can get. [[User:Catahn|Catahn]] ([[User talk:Catahn|talk]]) 11:07, 17 September 2013 (CDT)

== Volume 3 has been Transcribed ==

Ok, I just finished cleaning up the OCR'd text from volume 3. At this point I will be switching from transcribing to translating starting with Chapter 1. Mystrael is quite busy right now so we are goign to continue tag teaming it but simply switch roles. I'll translate and he'll proof read. With any luck this will allow us to continue to bring you high quality releases.

[[User:Catahn|Catahn]] ([[User talk:Catahn|talk]]) 11:12, 17 September 2013 (CDT)

i'll wait it eagerly. thanks for the hard work. [[User:Zerocrack|Zerocrack]] ([[User talk:Zerocrack|talk]])

== Volume 3 Translation ==

Introductory Play Act 2 has been posted. For the moment I don't have an established schedule but I'll shoot for 1 full chapter every 3-4 weeks.

Now, would you rather see translations posted on a part by part basis as they are done? Or just all parts at once when the chapter is finished?

My goal for translating Tasogare is to improve my written English and Japanese comprehension. As such if you have skills in understanding Japanese and English and you are willing to be my mentor send me a PM. Your duties would only be helping me improve the quality of my translations by pointing out mistakes and ways to translate better. [[User:Catahn|Catahn]] ([[User talk:Catahn|talk]]) 02:22, 27 August 2015 (UTC)

---I'm glad you're back. Thanks for the new translations. You can take your time as long as the project get completed. XD<br />

I think it's better to upload the whole chapter at once, honestly, the uploads part-by-part are a bit annoying (mostly for the uploader) and I feel it's better to read a big chunk of text at once than small bits. :D And the consistency of translation is better that way. (I'm also a translator so I'm talking from experience :D) [[User:Angelanime|non∞]] ([[User talk:Angelanime|talk]]) 07:55, 29 August 2015 (UTC)

Thanks for the advice Angel. I don't mind uploading in parts so much. But yeah, as a reader I think the reading in parts is probably more annoying. I'll just stick with uploading in full chapters then unless I hear strongly otherwise. What series are you translating? [[User:Catahn|Catahn]] ([[User talk:Catahn|talk]]) 17:26, 1 September 2015 (UTC)