Editing Kämpfer:Volume 1 Chapter 3

I went to school early and went to the library before homeroom. Higashida would say "reading for enjoyment is a contagious disease," but I wasn't going there to read. As expected Akane was manning the library services counter. She looked bored since no one was in a hurry.

"Akane-chan."

"...Natsuru-san?"

I beckoned her over to the corner table.

"Do you need something?"

I briefly explained the story from the day before, after Akane got up and left the room. She was interested and surprised at the news.

"So, Natsuru-san needs me to help become Kämpfer... ?"

"Yeah."

"...in order to meet Sakura-san?"

"I can't change on my own. At first I thought I'd refuse to make an introduction, but I already agreed to Sakura-san and I can't be cruel to her. So for now, I'll change to a girl."

Akane looked down somewhat, and looked like she puffed out her cheeks a little.

"I'm sorry to ask," as I bowed my head.

"Well... it is good... but..."

I don't know why, but she didn't seem very interested. Maybe it had to do with a girl's lifetime experiences that I was missing out on.

I was also half-hearted about the introduction. Even so, I would be glad to meet with Sakura-san any way possible, even if I had to be a woman. My feelings were more complex than tracking the orbit of a satellite.

What we would say when we met was still unknown; or even if I could talk without sounding like a man. My head couldn't figure out a way this would turn out well.

"To transform you'll need me or..." Akane said.

"I don't know any other Kämpfer."

"But I would need... when I change I become violent." Akane slouched down.

"Well that... I understand. There's no other way I can do it, so that's why I asked."

Actually that was one of my concerns. As soon as Akane transforms it'll be '' 'Sakura-san want's introductions? That's a job for a Kämpfer? I'll introduce her... to a demon from hell' ''. I'd have to make provision for a tool to extract her teeth from my throat.

I must have been thinking too hard and too long, Akane looked perplexed. This was bad.

Before it was too late I had to change the subject.

"I heard about some tension on the girl's side..."

"That was Masumi-chan, she was opening the door to each second-year homeroom asking '' ' is Natsuru-san here?...' ''"

I thought I had heard a scream '' 'not here either!' '' coming from the girl's side. Could that have been Masumi?

I involuntarily took a quick look around for her. Even though she wasn't looking for me the way I looked now.

"This morning, the student council president and one of the council members came and took care of the situation." Akane answered my implied question.

"The situation didn't take long and the student council president said it was easy."

The student council president is a piece of work, it would be a difficult thing to go against her.

"You should talk to Sakura-san about setting up introductions."

"Eh...?" Akane was puzzled.

"I'm stuck on the boy's side, so I can't do it."

"But Sakura-san and I barely know each other..." Akane slouched even more.

It was hard to believe that the fierce-dog girl and this girl could be related. One was so forceful and the other couldn't be shyer.

"Well Sakura-san and I both came to the boy's side yesterday; maybe you could request us again."

I put my hands together and begged. If Sakura-san came to the boy's side again there would be a major uproar. Higashida would faint.

Akane glowered slightly and her head barely tilted.

"Thank you very much."

She was unhappy, but nodded assent.

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After school, not only was Iron Star Academy harsh in separating boys and girls in the school, they meddled in interchanges outside as well. As soon as we stepped out of the school gates it was '' 'keep your eyes to your own classmates, understand?' ''

Between the boy's and girl's gates was a female guard with a blank stare, looking like she belonged at an internment camp. Furthermore, if caught looking at the girls too often the school has an underground torture chamber, where the student stays until he confesses. Well, the last part is how the rumor goes.

Due to that, I had ducked into a coffeehouse a short way from the school.

The shopkeeper was a retired white-collar worker. Because of its location the store primarily caters to Iron Star students. Because it was close to the school the prices were high. Because the prices were high and the guard kept a close watch on students near the school the profits were low and the owner needed to raise prices; a snowball effect it seemed.

I slowly sipped my coffee while the gaunt stare of the shop owner was upon me. With the high prices and the poor taste of the coffee, slowly sipping was all I was going to do no matter how desperate the owner looked.

A girl student hurrying inside glanced quickly my way then sat by the windows on the opposite side of the store.

Students were afraid to sit in the shop while in uniform. Although there was no official prohibition against visiting the shop while in uniform, once a uniformed student was noticed by the school guard, that student would be watched even closer. The store often had single boys waiting for female students.

Sakura-san came out of the school gate as the store owner was getting creepier.

She came straight to the store without hesitation; Akane must have gotten the message through. The store door opened and the bell rang, little swirls of dust were kicked up.

"Sorry," I called out as she was greeted by the store owner.

She looked relieved as she saw me, "oh good, did you have to wait long?"

"Not long. Do you want to take a walk for a while?"

"Yes," Sakura-san agreed.

We came out of the store, and slowly walked towards home. If the boy's side ever found out I was walking alone with Sakura-san I would be burned at the stake, tortured, then burnt at the stake again. When a teacher would find me I'd be confined and then roasted on a stake again. For now I was extremely happy, at least for this instant.

"Natsuru-san... that girl is...?"

Sakura-san asked with a sad face and my happiness ended.

"I found her."

"Truly?" Her expression suddenly lit up. I wished that expression was for me.

"She's in the vicinity, she was too shy to meet at the school." ...well not shy so much as difficult to accomplish.

"We can meet?"

"I think you can... meet now..." I said hesitantly, but Sakura-san didn't seem to notice.

She was fidgeting and wrapping her arms around her chest, seeming nervous.

"Right now?" Sakura-san sounded hesitant.

I eventually nodded

"Yes..."

"Er, wait here a minute." I ran across the street when the signal changed.

My destination waited in an alley between two stores.

"Ya made me wait long enough!"

"Oh, it couldn't be helped."

Akane, who had become the fierce dog woman, was in a bad mood, both dazzling and sullen. I asked Akane to transform me and I waited. I remained a man though. I had learned not to be pushy with her when she is in fierce dog mode.

She stood scratching her head, flicking a pocky in her mouth.

"Ah been thinkin' a guy from da bank was watchin' me. Ah think we should move."

Truth is Akane is a stunning beauty when like this, if you can get past the murderous glare in her eyes. Perhaps the guy is a masochist, if she didn't kill him already.

"Da guy was persistent, tried ta pick me up."

"Where is he now?"

"Ah was upset."

She pointed behind her. There were several men passed out lying on their backs. Looking closer one was the chicken head guy who tried to pick us up at the karaoke. I did take too long getting here after Akane transformed... or maybe these guys just have really bad luck.

"I have to change for Kaede."

"There," Akane directed with her head in a dignified manner.

"Don' be restless, save da crap for the rest room."

I wasn't getting through, this was taking too long.

"She's waiting for the female me."

"Ah'm not stupid. Ay get it, she's lesbian. Least you don' have ta worry 'bout syphilis."

"Hey, don't speak bad about Sakura-san!"

"Come on Natsuru, jus' let me shoot 'er. Ah'll make it quiet."

I replied in a low voice, "stop it, this isn't Lebanon, don't act like a terrorist."

"Too bad it's not Lebanon, Ah'd like it there."

I pretended not to hear. My bracelet started to glow. I couldn't worry about unnecessary things then.

The shining of the bracelet expanded and wrapped around my entire body. When it was done I had the body of a woman.

Akane ran her eyes over me.

"If ya' are really a woman remains ta be seen."

"None of your business."

"Voice is da same, finished!"

"Can't help it, I'll try not to talk if possible."

"What's da point of meetin' if ya can't talk?"

"I'm planning on meeting her only this once."

That was the conclusion of my overnight worrying. The best way to save everyone's feelings, including mine.

"Ain't that pointless? Ah've done ma part."

"I'm going to go, but please stay nearby, and stay transformed."

"Don't blame me if ya get burnt, Ah like crispy fried ribs anyway."

I began to walk slowly to where Sakura-san waited.

Although she was looking around restlessly, her eyes brightened when she saw me. That strengthened my courage.

"Ah... I am extremely thankful!" Sakura-san was very tense.

"I am Sakura Kaede and you helped me before. For that I am truly thankful."

I nodded silently, trying to show attitude, but it wasn't transmitted effectively.

"I asked Natsuru-san to introduce us. I hope it isn't an inconvenience."

I shook my head.

"That's good..." She relaxed visibly. I was glad she had piece of mind.

Sakura-san nervously continued, "that... we... somewhere..."

Rather than stay in the middle of the sidewalk, she wanted to go somewhere. We started walking in silence.

We walked along, me following and Sakura-san became more tense. It was like a parade.

Eventually she spoke up, "...I'm sorry... what's your name?"

Just like Masumi, questioning my name. Since I never gave my name it's a natural question.

I mumbled as much as possible to not be understood, "Natsuru..."

She heard me. I was a fool and an idiot; giving my real name again. Sakura-san was surprised, but that's natural.

"Natsuru-san... it's the same name as Senou Natsuru-san. He's my friend."

You've never told him he's a friend. It's the same name because it's the same person.

We continued walking. Sakura-san took a quick glance at my uniform.

"Natsuru-san also goes to Iron Star Academy."

Both still me, so still the same school.

"What class are you?"

I kept silent. I tried to keep my mind blank so I wouldn't try and talk, but it was surprisingly hard.

"That..."

"Second year," in the end I decided to just mention the grade.

Sakura-san put her hands together as if she had been praying.

"I am also a second year student; we're in the same grade!"

Actually I attend the boy's section. The tension between us was lessening though.

"I didn't know there was a person like Natsuru-san at school... you'd really stand out because... Natsuru-san is amazingly beautiful."

"It's just..." I couldn't explain much more in just a few words.

"Are you a transfer student?"

"Well..."

"You are! There must be many things you haven't seen at the school yet."

Well yeah, it's a lie, I wasn't enrolled in the women's school. Sakura-san seemed to have been convinced.

Pretending to be nonchalant, I glanced at my bracelet. '' 'Sparkle-sparkle,' '' still no change, it was still shining.

It sounds silly to call it a conversation, but we continued to talk. Well, Sakura-san did, I listened and spoke as little as possible.

"Is Natsuru-san taciturn?"

No, I just don't want to speak.

"You're so cool and groovy!"

Huh? Why such praise, she wasn't supposed to like my quietness.

It was a fairly one-sided conversation. Mostly '' 'another thing you need to know,' '' about the school and herself. She told me many things, a lot of things that should be kept private.

I had nothing to say; actually I did, but for that I needed the right timing.

At some point I needed to tell her '' 'we can't meet again' '', but how?

I needed to say it clearly, without hurting Sakura-san. I had to tread carefully and not say it casually. Not like in a drama, '' 'by the way, I can never see you again' ''; dramas are useless. What about news-casting, '' 'separated by conflict, fated not to see each other until...' '', what is this the border of Israel and Lebanon? All the ideas I was coming up with were stupid.

Because of my voice I would have to make it short, or else she'd recognize my voice as the boy Natsuru. My statement would have to be short and concise. '' 'Let's break up' '' wouldn't work, we've never dated. '' ' Get lost!' '' would just be hurtful.

"I'm addicted to that series..."

What?

I must have missed some of the conversation while thinking of what to say. Sakura-san noticed the question on my face.

"The Entrails Animals series, they're very lovely. Each character's internal organs are protruding here or there. Because Guillotine Zebra has no head, it's hard to imagine what her face would look like though."

As expected from Sakura-san, conversation turned to that series of plush toy. Like Masumi's preference of clothes, this was a strange hobby.

"I'd like to give you one from my collection. Now which one would fit you?"

None, because I already have one.

"I love the new Sun-burnt Lion, dealing with poor complexion rather than exposed viscera."

"Yeah,..." how could I deny it. That toy company should make Sakura-san an executive officer.

"The first series was all exposed internal organs, one is Buried Hyena. That one never sold well and finding them now is very difficult. Now I'll give it to you."

It surely must be rare. How could I accept this kindness?

In the first place this was likely the only time we would meet. I didn't want to continue this relationship but start a new one with me as a man. I was troubled, but happy also.

"Entrails Animals make great gifts. I've even given one to Shizuku-chan for her birthday."

"...?"

"Sangou Shizuku-chan is the president of the student council at school."

Huh, Shizuku also has an Entrails Animal? Do all the beauties of the world have a love of strange disturbing hobbies? That's a deep revelation!

Wait, Shizuku!?

The thoughts in my brain began to churn like the contents of a washing machine. That means...

Just then the sounds of a major disturbance could be heard ahead of us.

"What is it?"

Sakura-san tilted her head. An argument could be heard coming from the shadow of a building.

"Try saying that again!"

"Ya head is full of rotten stinkin' horseshit. Nah, horse diarrhea is jammed in and overflowing from ya skull! Dickwad! Stay away ya piece of..."

"This woman!"

Woman? To avoid getting involved we quietly watched.

It was Akane arguing with the men who were flirting with her earlier. She was growling like a vicious dog. The men didn't seem very pleased with being given a good whaling in the middle of their attempted casual flirtation. Uh oh.

There were three guys, the leader was the Chicken-head. One of them had a yakuza-style tattooed arm, but Akane didn't care. Her eyes gave the impression of a stray dog with rabies, ready to fight a group of yakuza. I edged closer.

One man swung a fist but Akane dodged it easily. The off-balance man stumbled towards me.

My body moved on its own. I grabbed the man and tossed him easily.

"Eep," Sakura-san let out a small scream. Even the screams of Iron Star beauties are refined.

"Oh, the bitch has a friend!?" The two remaining guys spewed a legitimate question.

Yeah, I'm her partner, at least my body was moving as if I was. The fierce-dog girl was getting more agitated though.

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We faced the two remaining guys, but before you could blink we had moved. When we became Kämpfer we obtained extraordinary power and speed. In less than an instant the flirtatious men were stacked up like futon cushions.

"What do ya' say now you dickwads! Teach yas to treat women dat way!"

Akane continued to yell at the men. They were unconscious, so I don't think they were listening.

She then looked at me, then behind me at Sakura-san.

'' 'Baka-baka' '' I told myself. If I hung around there too long the insolent mouth of the fierce dog girl would land on us.

"Let's go..." I said to Sakura-san. I didn't want to stick around to see what Akane may say.

Sakura-san's face was the color of red wine, "Awesome!"

What!?

"Natsuru-san is groovy! A woman who can exterminate men..."

Extermination of what I usually am... and will be again once I return to normal.

As far as Sakura-san was concerned, the situation was settled. Her face was radiant. Sakura-san didn't seem to be aware of the relationship between Akane and me.

She stood next to me even though we were in the middle of the street.

"Please..."

What now?

"Please, go out with me!" she exclaimed surprisingly loud.

I almost fainted.

===Good Advice===

When other boys at school all say '' 'we have all been on dates with girls.' '' I'm not included in the '' 'we.' ''

I barely know two girls at school. I live within walking distance to school, so I never share a bus with girls. Other than the previous day when I walked to school with Sakura-san, I always walk alone. I rarely get a chance to meet girls from school.

It's understandable; I'm not proud to say, but I've never dated. To suddenly be dating Sakura Kaede was like a gift from heaven. I would be overjoyed if it weren't for the complicated situation.

I decided to develop strategies preparing for the date. I couldn't afford to ask Hagashida for advice. I had a limited idea of what staying as a Kämpfer for an extended time would involve. Akane was my only choice to rely on.

I went to the library and bowed deeply in front of Akane.

"uh... yes?..."

After I explained the situation to Akane she was clearly bewildered.

"Oh... you're asking me?..."

"You're the only one that I can depend on."

"But things like that... I... I will..."

"Please, please." I repeatedly bowed like that vintage Drinking Bird toy.

We agreed to have an emergency meeting at my house. Akane was frightened, "I'm... going to a man's house... it's my first time." I had to convince her that it was fine, but I was desperate. That's how we ended up face-to-face in my bedroom.

"Sakura-san... she... thinks Natsuru-san is cool, right?"

Akane said holding a tea cup with both hands. I may have made the tea lazily, and even though it was such a strange topic, I had to sit properly.

"But, it doesn't seem likely..."

"What is it?" I asked.

"Uh?"

"Go ahead..."

"Oh, isn't it... I wonder... a kind of confession?"

Of course, I had never been confessed to by a girl before; let alone a girl like Sakura-san. If it were true, and if it were directed to me as a man, would have a heart attack. This was going to give me a heart attack in a different sense.

"Akane-chan, you're saying a girl falling in love with another girl?"

"Well..." she said in a dismissive way.

It was strange, every time I brought up Sakura-san, Akane got in a bad mood. I was starting to wonder if she didn't like Sakura-san.

"I'm inexperienced... I don't really understand love..."

Rather than being apologetic, she sounded more irritated. Again, it seemed like she may hate Sakura-san. I'll have to fix that, when a good chance comes up I'll tell her all the virtues of Sakura-san.

I took a piece of rice cracker. Akane's just jealous because she doesn't have someone special. She's such a nice delicate girl. I'm amazed that she becomes so violent and crude when she transforms.

"I think he should date her," came not from Akane, but Harakiri-tora. "You'll be the envy of the entire school, she's very popular. You should date."

"Oh, yeah he'll do just fine," said another voice. "There's no rule against Kämpfer dating other women. The moderator will sure be surprised - ahahahahaha!"

The wild laughing was coming from another stuffed animal. It was Seppuku Kuro Usagi that Akane had brought.

Another masterpiece of the Entrails Animal series; a black rabbit with a seppuku dagger stuck into its abdomen. One detail was her deeply bloodshot eyes. Young children seeing her in the toy department would cry without fail. It was no wonder that it didn't sell all that well.

As soon as they had arrived, Seppuku Kuro Usagi started swearing '' 'so this is the dork's house.' '' Followed by, '' 'no wonder he's an asshole.' '' Akane had said, '' 'because I was nervous coming alone I brought her instead of a bodyguard.' '' She had the fighting talk of a bodyguard mastered. She and Harakiri-tora hit it off like old friends, talking and laughing. I guess there's a sense of camaraderie among the stuffed animals.

The toy rolled around beating the floor with her short forefoot; glaring at me through one eye while laughing.

"Truth is, I'm not really a woman!"

"Like hell!"

"It's my first date with a girl, even if my sex changes first..."

"...that's one way to date Kaede."

"I'm still me even if female! It's complicated..."

An outsider's objective viewpoint would make things clear, being an involved party confused me.

"So, what happened with Sakura-san at the school?"

"Since I attend a different class, although in the boy's section... it seems she searched every girl's second grade classroom."

"And didn't find you..."

"Right."

"Masumi-chan... she's still searching, because that's the way she is... sounds like it's getting too conspicuous."

Masumi brays like a torn speaker when she yells. It could be heard anywhere.

"So... what's the... decision on the date?" Akane's voice slowly brought me back to reality.

"That's right, she said she would like to meet this upcoming Sunday."

"Are... you going?"

"Probably..." It wasn't possible for me to refuse Sakura-san. It would be useless for me to try.

"Where are you going?..."

"I haven't decided yet." I mean, I wonder if it's up to me to decide where to go. "Usually the man decides where to go, right?"

"Or just leave it to Sakura-san." Harakiri-tora said while rubbing her chin.

She stood up, her face showing an idea had been formed. "Why don't you just stand her up?"

"Idiot, because it would hurt Sakura-san."

"It's also a problem if she likes you."

"I like being liked by her. That's not the problem."

"I think Natsuru-san as a man isn't very interesting," said the hateful stuffed toy.

I wondered if Sakura-san was really homosexual. Could someone so beautiful only be interested in other girls. How could she have so many fans in the boy's section? My delusion would not fade.

I would find out on Sunday. "I don't have any choice but to meet her."

Akane brought up another valid point, "when you meet, what will you do? After all it's a date..."

I figured I'd put up ideas for a vote, "I wonder where we should go."

"Well..."

"Akane-chan, where should we go?"

"Eh..." Akane's cheeks turned bright red. "I... I..."

"For example, if Akane-chan was on a date, where would you like to go the most?"

"Oh... for that I..."

Why did it feel like she was disappointed?

She thought for a minute, "just the movies, or an amusement park..."

"Yeah, an amusement park sounds good."

"If it's just girls... just shopping is nice... but that's different."

That's true; I'd be a girl at the time so it would be a girl's night out.

"I expect you'd be safe shopping."

"Yeah, true."

"If you feel like dressing up even more," Harakiri-tora started to say unnecessary things. "Temples and shrines would be good for a date."

Well, she and I are both high-school students, so we've both visited them during school trips. Nevertheless, it greatly amused Seppuku Kuro Usagi.

"Since temples have graveyards, it'll be like a scary movie; '' 'Horror Temple.' '' Yeah, that'll do just fine."

Both stuffed toys enjoyed my difficulties. Harakiri-tora joined in the deep laughter.

"Even without the graveyard it may be good. Since it's an unpopular place to go you'll have less chance of being attacked."

"Who would attack us?"

"The enemy Kämpfer. If you start battling in a department store, you'll be putting others in danger also."

"Oh,..." it reminded me of the attack in the library by the mysterious enemy. There's no guarantee that another attack wouldn't come at any time. I'd also prefer keeping Sakura-san from getting involved again.

My head was throbbing.

"It's best to stay in open areas where you can watch for the enemy. Or where the enemy would stand out. At least for this date."

"Kaede seems to like odd things, so taking her to a weird place should be fine," Seppuku Kuro Usagi added.

Harakiri-tora agreed and ran with it, "maybe a sewage treatment plant. I wouldn't want to visit, but seeing it from afar..."

"A crematorium would be a good place to pass the time. You may even see some spirits departing."

"Take a nap in a quarry; though it may be a rugged climb."

"Break into a building being demolished. If you take a deep breath without a mask you can feel the asbestos."

These guys were getting on my nerves. They didn't know when to stop.

I grabbed them both, and without a word threw them into the closet and shut the door. They continued complaining from inside, '' 'let us out now or you'll be sorry!' '' and '' 'Baka-baka!' '' Those guys were never at a loss for words.

"I think I know what to do," I said to Akane.

"...you formed a plan?"

"Akane-chan, please come with us!"

"On your date!?"

"I still can't transform myself. I'll need your help."

She hesitated; it was understandable, "isn't that... awkward... to have a third person?"

"I'm nervous that I'll change back unexpectedly. Also, if we're attacked it would be better if you were there. You can just follow from a distance."

"Like a guardian..."

"Exactly!"

Akane didn't answer, so I began imitating the Drinking Bird again.

I think my head was getting used to being in a bowing position. Nah, that must just be my imagination.

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