Gakusen Toshi Asterisk - Names and Terminologies

[Kuratatsu]

Yeah something like Type 34 surge heavy artillery Ark Van Dersu revised/modified, I would just go with whatever you feel sounds good.

[setsuna86]

Yeah something like Type 34 surge heavy artillery Ark Van Dersu revised/modified, I would just go with whatever you feel sounds good.

Thanks. I think that Type 34 wave Motion heavy gun Ark Van Dersu modified will do.
And just in case, how could you translate that Phoenix L block一回戦二組、試合開始！?
I don't know if I can translate it: Phoenix block L first round two sets, match start! or Phoenix block L first round set two, match start!.

[Kuratatsu]

I'd go with two sets
http://www.tanoshiijapanese.com/diction ... _id=123261
http://jisho.org/words?jap=%E4%BA%8C%E7 ... dict=edict
Anyways I should focus on my homework
Edit: Set 2 would be either 第2組 or セット2

[Detalz]

アークヴァンデルス = Ark Van Ders. Since you've decided on the rest, I'll refrain from further commenting.

Phoenix L block一回戦二組、試合開始 --> 'Phoenix L block, commencing the first of two sets, start!' is how I would rephrase it.

And Kuratatsu is right...the terminologies in this series alone is enough to make me writhe. Especially since the author doesn't bother to separate individual words written in katakana.

[Hiyono]

Translating this series falls subject to the 80-20 rule. 20% of your time is used in translating 80% of the series, while 80% of your time is spent trying to decipher the arcane naming system the author employs. I eventually came to the conclusion that the typical Japanese reader of this LN series wouldn't bother puzzling out the names themselves, and stopped caring as much.

[denormative]

For the グラヴィthere's a high possibility it's gravi(s), either latin or german. The シーズ part is confusing, it can be seeds in jpn but I went with gravises but I'm really not sure on this one tbh.

グラヴイ - "Gravi-", I'm guessing the イ is supposed to be a ィ.
シーズ - "Sheath" from シーズヒーター.

So, "Gravi-Sheath", IMO. (Which would represent gravity wrapping around a 'void' inside, or something. No doubt it would be obvious whether it fits from context.)

For the 仙術 you might want to change it to sage technique. The last sentence looks fine, at least it's how I would've translate it.

I dunno, I don't mind "Star Wizardry" myself fits in nicely enough with the "Magician" and "Witch" labels, but yeah, senjuutsu is a pain to translate, I don't think DxD even bothers.

the original mana induction capability generalization technology.
独自のmana感応能力普遍化技術

Given this is listed as a 'percularity' of World Dragon, 'unique' would probably be better then 'original' because 'original' is likely to be read as 'origin' (the first of it's type, of which others have cloned and extended) rather then 'original' as in "new and different". Anyway, I'd probably go with:

"One was known as star senjutsu, their unique mana-induction capability generalization technique."

重砲: heavy gun

Isn't this more "heavy artillery" or "cannon"? It's certainly looks more like that in the images when Say's using it anyway. (Ok, it looks more like a heavy particle/laser cannon, but whatever, Japan has decided that whatever looks like a particle/laser beam device must be a "wave motion" something-or-other. I blame 宇宙戦艦ヤマト )

Translating this series falls subject to the 80-20 rule. 20% of your time is used in translating 80% of the series, while 80% of your time is spent trying to decipher the arcane naming system the author employs. I eventually came to the conclusion that the typical Japanese reader of this LN series wouldn't bother puzzling out the names themselves, and stopped caring as much.

I do wonder sometimes. I know at least with Campione, DxD and DaL (especially DaL!) I have to wonder how much of the mythology the Japanese readers are working out. I spent a large chunk of my childhood sitting in the mythology section of my local and school libraries absorbing this stuff, and I regularly get thrown for a loop with some random artefact or god that the authors have pulled from an obscure legend or mythology.

In a related note... I think Stjarnagarmr should be two words: "Stjarna" is old norse for "Star" and "Garmr" is the watch dog that guards Hel's gate in Norse mythology. (Totally appropriate for the "Star Hunter Guards". )

[setsuna86]

How to translate this:

Spoiler! :

1- 咲き誇れ──大紅の心焔盾(アンスリウム)！
2- トロキアの炎よ　城壁を越え　九つの災禍(さいか)を焼き払え──
3- 綻(ほころ)べ──熔空の落紅花(セミセラータ)

There are Julis' attacks.

[Kuratatsu]

My own take on it:
1- Full Bloom—Heart Blaze Shield of Great Crimson (Anthurium)!
2- Flames of τροχιά (orbit), Burn down the nine calamities/disasters beyond the castle walls (rampart)—
3- Come out—Crimson flower fall of fused sky (Semiserrata)
The last one was the most confusing, the 紅花 can be Safflower (Carthamus tinctorius) and I have no idea what 熔空 is suppose to be.
Edit: Actually I'd go with Molten Sky.

[denormative]

How to translate this:

Spoiler! :

1- 咲き誇れ──大紅の心焔盾(アンスリウム)！
2- トロキアの炎よ　城壁を越え　九つの災禍(さいか)を焼き払え──
3- 綻(ほころ)べ──熔空の落紅花(セミセラータ)

There are Julis' attacks.

1 - Hasn't 咲き誇れ been translated as "bloom proudly" already? I still think I prefer "Full Bloom" (since it is more accurately descriptive), but "Bloom Proudly" is more evocative/active. Anyway...

"Bloom Proudly! - Great Crimson Heart Blazing Shield(Anthurium)!"

Link to her flower of choice: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anthurium (which describes the "crimson heart" bit quite nicely.)

2 - トロキア is a little more complicated then 'orbit', feed this through google or hit the 'english' link, it's more 'trajectory' (which includes "orbital trajectory", aka, "orbit"): http://el.wikipedia.org/wiki/%CE%A4%CF% ... E%B9%CE%AC This has some good example sentences in english as well: http://en.glosbe.com/el/en/%CF%84%CF%81 ... E%B9%CE%AC

The only dictionary I found find with a romanisation seems to spell it as "trochia" so that might be worth a footnote if we're going to include greek lettering in the text. Anyway...

"Blazing trochia(arc)! Over the ramparts! With nine tempered calamities be driven away!"
(Exclamation marks are due to the command forms being used with spaces between the sentence fragments, so they have implicit punctuation in this instance, IMO.)

3 - Err... "Come out - Molten Sky's Falling Crimson Flower(Semiserrata)" ? Quite frankly, ほころべ is a pain to translate. Other options are "Rend!" or "Be rent!" neither of which parse right immediately (I want to read 'rent' as a noun in that context, not verb), even if they have better imagery (I believe it's trying to imply a tear in the sky where this falls out of or similar).

Anyway, this particular flower of hers is genus Camellia, images of it are the red flower at the top of this page: http://www.nagominoniwa.net/blog3/2013/07/post_852.html

[setsuna86]

Just to be sure, but how can you translate that: 接射状態 in this contest (sentence): "接射状態でそれをくらえばひとたまりもないだろう。"?
There are also "その身体からはぷすぷすと焼け焦げたような煙が上がっている。" and "小柄なSayaが巨大な銃器を構える様はそれだけでギャップがすごい"

[denormative]

Just to be sure, but how can you translate that: 接射状態 in this contest (sentence): "接射状態でそれをくらえばひとたまりもないだろう。"?
There are also "その身体からはぷすぷすと焼け焦げたような煙が上がっている。" and "小柄なSayaが巨大な銃器を構える様はそれだけでギャップがすごい"

接射状態 ~= "Locked & Loaded" would be a particularly slangy way of saying it from the context I've harvested from wikipedia pages; but I wouldn't use that unless it's a particularly "light" moment. Possibly "ready to fire", since that's what it's describing? ("The state of things being connected together to shoot" is a very literal and wordy way of putting it.)

その身体からはぷすぷすと焼け焦げたような煙が上がっている。 ~= Something like "Smoke rose from the burnt, smouldering body." Use "corpse" if the "body" is dead.

小柄なSayaが巨大な銃器を構える様はそれだけでギャップがすごい ~= "Petite Saya appeared to be setting up a huge gun in the (vast? terrible? amazing?) gap..." context is needed to properly translate that hanging すごい.

[Kuratatsu]

Hopefully I'm not making a fool of myself again but I'm not sure how you got lock and loaded, the 接射 part seems to mean more like "up close and personal shooting" or "close-range shooting"
http://ja.wikipedia.org/wiki/%E9%9B%B6% ... 4%E6%92%83
http://wikiwiki.jp/wotanks/?%CD%D1%B8%E ... %EC#sessya
So then, maybe it's
接射状態で
From the point-blank shooting (situation),
それをくらえばひとたまりもないだろう
(____) ~would not stand a chance receiving that (attack?)

[setsuna86]

Just to be sure, but how can you translate that: 接射状態 in this contest (sentence): "接射状態でそれをくらえばひとたまりもないだろう。"?
There are also "その身体からはぷすぷすと焼け焦げたような煙が上がっている。" and "小柄なSayaが巨大な銃器を構える様はそれだけでギャップがすごい"

接射状態 ~= "Locked & Loaded" would be a particularly slangy way of saying it from the context I've harvested from wikipedia pages; but I wouldn't use that unless it's a particularly "light" moment. Possibly "ready to fire", since that's what it's describing? ("The state of things being connected together to shoot" is a very literal and wordy way of putting it.)

その身体からはぷすぷすと焼け焦げたような煙が上がっている。 ~= Something like "Smoke rose from the burnt, smouldering body." Use "corpse" if the "body" is dead.

I think to translate this well, we must first properly translate this part: 焼け焦げたような煙; and that's where it's a bit strange when translated. Something like "smoke as if (or like) burning"(???).
And then comes this part: ぷすぷすと, that must be translated as an adverb (I think) or simply left, since it's a Japanese Onomatopoeia (Audio Description) (look viewtopic.php?f=55&t=2485). So ぷすぷすと ----> smouldering (ly)
So considering all of that, I came up with something like: Smoke of burning smoulderingly rose from the body.
Well, it's how I understand it; so I wanted someone to put it in good english since my sentence above is a bit....

小柄なSayaが巨大な銃器を構える様はそれだけでギャップがすごい ~= "Petite Saya appeared to be setting up a huge gun in the (vast? terrible? amazing?) gap..." context is needed to properly translate that hanging すごい.

Here is the contest for the sentence:

Spoiler! :

──Right. Saya was without doubt engaged in a hand-to-hand combat. As the bald young man stopped the blow of the Ark Van Ders Modified with the Blue Dragon Sword in hand that he swung downward, he retorted by swinging it like a blunt weapon. 小柄なSayaが巨大な銃器を構える様はそれだけでギャップがすごいが、それを片手で振り回す様は比較にならない衝撃度だ。

Hopefully I'm not making a fool of myself again but I'm not sure how you got lock and loaded, the 接射 part seems to mean more like "up close and personal shooting" or "close-range shooting"
http://ja.wikipedia.org/wiki/%E9%9B%B6% ... 4%E6%92%83
http://wikiwiki.jp/wotanks/?%CD%D1%B8%E ... %EC#sessya
So then, maybe it's
接射状態で
From the point-blank shooting (situation),
それをくらえばひとたまりもないだろう
(____) ~would not stand a chance receiving that (attack?)

[/quote]

I also think that "from point-blank range" get well here, so:
接射状態でそれをくらえばひとたまりもないだろう ----> "If one were to receive it from point-blank range situation, he would fall easy victim."

[Kuratatsu]

How about "smoldering and scorched/singed-like smoke arose (is rising) from that body"

Edit: for the other one I ended up with
小柄なSayaが巨大な銃器を構える様はそれだけでギャップがすごいが、それを片手で振り回す様は比較にならない衝撃度だ。
The appearance of the petite Saya setting up the enormous firearm was a great gap by itself but, the appearance of her wielding that with one hand is a degree of shock that is beyond comparison.

[setsuna86]

How about "smoldering and scorched/singed-like smoke arose (is rising) from that body"

Edit: for the other one I ended up with
小柄なSayaが巨大な銃器を構える様はそれだけでギャップがすごいが、それを片手で振り回す様は比較にならない衝撃度だ。
The appearance of the petite Saya setting up the enormous firearm was a great gap by itself but, the appearance of her wielding that with one hand is a degree of shock that is beyond comparison.

Ah, thanks, exactly what I wanted. Thanks again.