ばか！バカ！　馬鹿ー月！

Feelings that it is lonely to be alone.

Would it be correct to alter this to "Feelings of loneliness when alone" or would it more correct as "Feeling that it is lonely to be alone"? Also, it might sound better if 'alone' were altered to something like 'by oneself' or perhaps 'isolated', as alone and lonely are too similar.

Only a kindergartener could have drawn something like this.

I'm wondering if 'could' should be 'would'.

The emblem that had been clumsily scribbled by Haruhi's hand was distorted like it had been gathered

I think that 'gathered' might be better altered to 'squeezed', 'crumpled' or 'crushed'.

Although her behavior was really something to consider, I understood that this person could start laughing anytime was something I never want to endure.

This sentence is a bit confusing. Perhaps you could clarify?

In short, this person wasn't even a bum. End of proof.

Could 'End of proof' be changed to 'No more proof needed' or 'Proof enough'. Actually, I'm not really sure how to reword this well...

This person was a serious esper, actually.

Should it be, 'Actually, this person was seriously an esper.'?

Your call that's mostly a style thing, I think. Just one thing... The last sentence/phrase acts as the subject of the second-to-last one. "Could it be that you also have them? [What?] Feelings that it is lonely to be alone." So a noun would fit better. I just chose that phrasing because I like it .

Uhm, I guess I'll go ahead and make most of the changes then, but if you could clarify this one sentence for me:

Although her behavior was really something to consider, I understood that this person could start laughing anytime was something I never want to endure.

Since I find the sentence a bit confusing...

If you don't want to say "end of proof", you could say "end of discussion".

The second phrase is more common than the first. And the first phrase is only used in a mathematical context. (Not knowing the context, I can't say much more than that.)

Hope that helps!

I totally overlooked that expression... (I guess I just haven't heard it in a while) I think that might actually have been the meaning of the phrase, so I guess that's what we'll go with until a translator clarifies. Thanks for mentioning the phrase though.

Only a kindergartener could have drawn something like this.

I'm wondering if 'could' should be 'would'.

Hmm actually it's more literally like "I didn't know what else to think other than it was drawn by a kindergartener." I forgot how it turned out to that .

The emblem that had been clumsily scribbled by Haruhi's hand was distorted like it had been gathered

I think that 'gathered' might be better altered to 'squeezed', 'crumpled' or 'crushed'.

The book uses ギャザー (gyaza-) so I just opted to use that. I had thought of poking around photoshop to see if "gather" was some kind of tool or whatever, but I got lazy .

Although her behavior was really something to consider, I understood that this person could start laughing anytime was something I never want to endure.

This sentence is a bit confusing. Perhaps you could clarify?

I had some trouble with this sentence, myself. I took it to mean "Although [Kimidori-san's] behavior was something to be considered, I understood [her]. That this person (Haruhi) could start laughing anytime was something I don't want to endure." Someone edited this to merge the two sentences.

In short, this person wasn't even a bum. End of proof.

Could 'End of proof' be changed to 'No more proof needed' or 'Proof enough'. Actually, I'm not really sure how to reword this well...

Your call again . Literally it's just "Proof ends." The word used is 証明:

証明
authentication // demonstration // proof // testification // testimony // verification // vindication

This person was a serious esper, actually.

Should it be, 'Actually, this person was seriously an esper.'?

"This person was a serious esper, (come to that)/(speaking of which)." is a little more literal. "a serious esper" or "seriously an esper" both look fine to me, so whichever you like . I went with "actually" because I wanted something shorter at the time (not sure now, though )

She hung her very long hair and smiled at me

'Hung' doesn't seem to make much sense in this sentence.

Sigh, on the other hand, even if they had come they would have only increased my woes, so I didn't expect them to come.

There seems to be a flaw in the reasoning, so I'm wondering if the sentence itself is correct. The issue that I see is that Kyon's woes increasing doesn't seem to have any relation with whether or not 'they' would or would not come.

Also, if it wouldn't be too much trouble, could you post the original sentence for: "Although [Kimidori-san's] behavior was something to be considered, I understood [her]. That this person (Haruhi) could start laughing anytime was something I don't want to endure."

Hmm. I took another look at the original text and now I think I got it wrong the first time I think it's more like "Although her behavior seemed like she was thinking about something, I knew [better]. She was just holding back from bursting into laughter." For some reason I was trying to insert Kimidori-san into that sentence somewhere .

Here's the original:

まるで何かを考えているような仕草だが、俺には解っていた。こいつは今にも笑い出しそうになるのを堪えていやがるのだ。

If you have any improvement/correction on this, feel free. As you can see, I still have a lot to learn .

GDsMDDLFNGR wrote: For some reason I was trying to insert Kimidori-san into that sentence somewhere .

GDsMDDLFNGR
Kimidori-san no.1 fan.