『いつか天魔の黒ウサギ』の翻訳研究

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larethian
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『いつか天魔の黒ウサギ』の翻訳研究

Post by larethian »

what's the best way to express the phrase in red?

昼休みに購買でコロッケパン三個買って、牛乳でそれを押しこんだら胸やけしてきて
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Re: 『いつか天魔の黒ウサギ』の翻訳の研究

Post by onizuka-gto »

tainted morals?

But then I've always been slightly confused between the philosophical meanings of 心 kokoro and 胸 Mune.

I guess I think kokoro is more for emotions, while mune is for..for..other things, like courage? since I know 胸 makes up 度胸, which is guts or courage, nerves (guttsu!Konjo!) .

So i guess "Mune" for me is something like that.
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Re: 『いつか天魔の黒ウサギ』の翻訳の研究

Post by larethian »

by the way, how do you describe drooling action?

drool that leaked out in his slumber.
drooling that drooled out in his slumeber.
drool that came out of his mouth in his slumber.

or what???? :D
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Re: 『いつか天魔の黒ウサギ』の翻訳の研究

Post by onizuka-gto »

larethian wrote:by the way, how do you describe drooling action?

drool that leaked out in his slumber.
drooling that drooled out in his slumeber.
drool that came out of his mouth in his slumber.

or what???? :D
saliva dribbled from his lips as he slumber
In his slumber, he slobber at the mouth
slumbering, his drool dripped at his mouth
spit trickle at his mouth while he slumber,

Any of these can work, or mix and match them to your choosing. All would work.
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Re: 『いつか天魔の黒ウサギ』の翻訳の研究

Post by larethian »

oooh, thanks. >:]
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Re: 『いつか天魔の黒ウサギ』の翻訳の研究

Post by kuroi_shinigami »

larethian wrote:what's the best way to express the phrase in red?

昼休みに購買でコロッケパン三個買って、牛乳でそれを押しこんだら胸やけしてきて
Wasn't the red part indicate the unpleasant feeling you feel at your esophageal part(around the upper side of solar plexus)? There's a lot of reason for that unpleasant feeling, but usually it's from over produce of gastric acid. In the sentence case, it's from eating 3 croquette bread and drinking milk to push it down.
Fill in the blank : She ( ) a bus

Yoshii Akihisa's answer : She is a bus

Tsuchiya Kouta's answer : 彼女はブスです
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Re: 『いつか天魔の黒ウサギ』の翻訳の研究

Post by larethian »

yeah, it seems so, but I was just wondering about that, since the next part the guy felt sleepy, and I kind of couldn't imagine that lol!
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Re: 『いつか天魔の黒ウサギ』の翻訳の研究

Post by larethian »

緑道 = what!? a path through a field?

EDIT: ok nvm, seems like it was a path through a small wooded area beside the streets.
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Re: 『いつか天魔の黒ウサギ』の翻訳の研究

Post by larethian »

美雷はこくこくうなずく。

need a proper English for "こくこく" to fit. :D

btw, 美雷 is in pain.

thanks in advance. :D
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Re: 『いつか天魔の黒ウサギ』の翻訳の研究

Post by Darklor »

Youre sure the words were separated right?

Rikaichan shows for "こくこく" among others meanings: moment by moment/ hour by hour
Please don't mind my bad english since I'm german.

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Re: 『いつか天魔の黒ウサギ』の翻訳の研究

Post by larethian »

yeah, I'm sure.

I think I've just figured it out. Initially, I didn't suspect it's a giseigo (onomatopoeia), since と is missing. After thinking about it, it appears that こく is a contraction of giseigo こくり, and こくこくうなずく indicates to me two sharp nods. Might be mistaken, but the more I think about it, the more I think this is it. :D
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Re: 『いつか天魔の黒ウサギ』の翻訳の研究

Post by larethian »

question in spoiler
Spoiler! :
when Mirai fires her lightning, she says "Biri Biri". should I leave it or translate it to something like say, "shock shock"?
yawn, need to go sleep for a bit.
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Re: 『いつか天魔の黒ウサギ』の翻訳の研究

Post by larethian »

if someone can translate this into properly readable English, I'll give you a prize (I made it real big to make it more readable):

おまけに遥はなにげにクラスの男子に人気があるからてめぇ大兎なに調子こいてんだよ幸せ者はこれでも食ってろとか言われて机の中をカピの生えた焼そばパンだらけにされちゃったりしておまえらそれイジメだぞイジメって言うんだぞ? と叫んでも幸せ者にはなにしてもいい法律があんだよ昨日制定されたんだよ! とかわけのわからないこと言われたりね、そんなことになる可能性もあるぜこれ、とか、そんなことを悩む、楽しい高校生活。

actually, I've already translated it, but I was energy drained today, so it turned out real crappy :oops: , so I'd like to hear some alternatives, hahaha :D
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Re: 『いつか天魔の黒ウサギ』の翻訳の研究

Post by YoakeNoHikari »

Can I see your translation? I'd actually like to know how wrong I was.

Good study material?
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Re: 『いつか天魔の黒ウサギ』の翻訳の研究

Post by larethian »

my first version is really too embarrassing, but after a power nap, some mulling and editing, this is what I have:

On top of that, Haruka was real popular with the guys in the class, and things might turn out in the following manner: Damn you, Taito, don't get too full of yourself, a happy soul like you should eat this, and after saying that, a flaky yakisoba bread would be taken out from beneath the desk and used to smear them all over with flakes, while accompanied by yells of we're bullying you guys with this, we're bullying you, get it?, and followed by there's a new law just passed yesterday that says we can do anything to a happy soul, you know!. There was a possibility of such incomprehensible stuff being told to him, thereby igniting a troubling, fun high school life.
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