(alt translation from Cruzz's site: http://koti.mbnet.fi/~cruzz/haruhi/Haruhi.html)
Turning back forward holding my ringing head, ...
Suggested change:
I turned back slowly, holding my ringing head.
--The naming game 13:47, 1 May 2006 (PDT)
I re-read the passage where this line originated from and unless we re-structure that passage, the only changes that are suitable are ones that stick with the raw translation noted above. I've given it quite a bit of thought and I've found it impossible to use a sentence that seems more coherent than the raw translation, given the order that the passage has been written in. Thus, here's my suggestion to re-structuring the passage:
* The original
Haruhi finally let go of my collar. I pressed my numbing back head and turned around slowly. I noticed that the whole class looked totally awestruck. The freshly-graduated newbie teacher, with her chalk in her hand, stared at me and looked as if she was ready to cry.
* My suggestion
Haruhi finally let go of my collar. Whilst massaging the back of my head, which was now throbbing, I turned around slowly, only to find that the whole class was completely dumbstruck. The freshly-graduated fledgling teacher, with a chalk in her hand, stared at me and looked as if she was about to cry.
I note that since this is one of my suggestions, a change like mine may not be "like a needle in a hay stack". I invite anyone else to have an attempt at changing this. Hopefully someone might come up with a suggestion that will meld in perfectly with the rest of the text.
--Da~Mike 00:53, 7 May 2006 (GMT)
I've made a change here, based a bit off of the discussion here. Please take a look and edit more if needed.
--BlckKnght 13:24, 30 May 2006 (PDT)