Original Light Novel: Shadow in the Light

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Camulos
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Joined: Thu Aug 28, 2014 4:08 pm
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Original Light Novel: Shadow in the Light

Post by Camulos »

ok, first off all english isn't my native language so please forgive me if I make a mistake.

Now then, let's start with a small introduction to who I am, why I wrote this novel and why I posted it on this forum .

First things first, i'm a complete noob at writing story's which is one of the reasons I want to post it on this site: plz tell me honestly what you think about my writing and how I can improve it, don't be afraid to tell me if something sucks because I will try to work on it (if possible)
The only experience I have is the shit load of books and story's I have read (both in real life and on the internet; i'm running out of things to read)

Secondly, like a said, english isn't my native language but I wrote it in english for 2 reasons:
1) I like english more than my mother language
2) there are alot more people who can read english than dutch (my native language)

Thirdly: the reason why I wrote this book.
It's pretty simple actually, when i'm reading a story (like on baka) and the chapter/volume ends I would always fantasize how I would like it to continue. This ultimatly led me to trying to write a story with some ideas i have collected over the years. And now i finally decide it to give it a try and started writing it. This is also a reason why i will post it on this forum, not only for the feed back but also to "force" myself to keep writing.

Well that's the indroduction, let's get started with the real story.
Summary (I know it sucks, but I have a really hard time deciding how much i want to say so I will keep it simple because i find the title tells alot about the story):
Spoiler! :
This is the story about how a former assassin learns the truth about himself and how there can be shadow in the light
Last edited by Camulos on Wed Sep 03, 2014 9:12 am, edited 1 time in total.
Camulos
Reader
Posts: 3
Joined: Thu Aug 28, 2014 4:08 pm
Favourite Light Novel:

Re: Original Light Novel: Shadow in the Light

Post by Camulos »

ok, here is the prologue. (this isn't definite and can be change later)
Spoiler! :
The Church tells us that in the beginning, there was only The One. It was a being that consisted out of everything yet still stood above it. This being lived for countless years in solitude until it began to yearn for something, something unknown. This yearning caused him to change, it began to search for this unknown but since everything was a part of him, there was nothing that he didn't know and nothing that satisfied his yearning. So it began to create. He first created a stream energy. This stream consisting of 6 different types of energy and each type would control one of the six elements: water, fire, earth, wind, light and darkness. Using these elements, he created stars and planets but still he yearned; so he created life and only after watching these small, powerless creatures did it realize that which he desired. He was a being without an equal that could compare himself with him and could give his existence a meaning. Thus it decided to create a law. This single law, that would bind everything in existence, consisted of a simple principle; everything must be balanced. This law would prevent that there would be another like him: a being that lived without purpose. Content with this act, he then split himself into two, creating two new beings and although both had immeasurable power, they would never be unique.
These two beings who were created from The One, each inherited a different aspect of The One. One being inherited The One's love for order and the feeling of harmony that it created. Thus he started creating order throughout the universe and gained himself the name Ordus, God of Order. The other was the opposite. He was fascinated by the unpredictability that follows out of chaos and so, like Ordus he started creating chaos. He was called Anor, God of Chaos.

Even though they were polar opposites, both gods lived in peace for many years. It was during this period of peace that humans rose to become rulers of their world. Ordus who saw this decide to embrace the humans and gave them laws so that they would prosper and bring order to their world. Everything seemed well however, this peace wasn't meant to last, and after thousands of years of peace, war finally erupted between the two gods. The two gods fought for many years with neither gaining dominance over the other yet at a certain point in time, both gods decide to stop using their own immense power to fight. Instead they agreed for a temporary truce in which the both would create minions to fight their war. The reason why they did this still remains a mystery; some say they were afraid of destroying the entire realm, other say that something was born out of their clashing powers, something powerful enough to strike fear into the gods. The real reason however still remains as a mystery and only the knowledge of their actions is known.

During this temporary truce, both gods created 6 minions and gave them immense power. And with their creation, the war continued. The war lasted for countless years until the Anos felt that this war was doomed to last forever and so he decided to seal both Ordus and his minions. Luring Ordus into a trap, he used the combined power of him and his most powerful minions to tear Ordus into 6 pieces and used those pieces to create six new realms which he then used as a prison for Anos' minions. Ordus, who knew that he was doomed, decide to use the last of his power to protect the humans for the chaos the minions of Anos would bring them. He chose six clans who were nobler than any other and granted them the power to each control one element, thus turning them into elementalists. After doing this final act, Ordus and his minions where sealed and the universe seemed to be doomed to fall into chaos. However Anos and his minions, drained from all their power, soon fell into deep sleep causing peace to finally descend onto the realm. It is here that the legends end and that our history begins.

The history of the humankind begins with war. Although Anos and his most powerful minions fell into a deep sleep, the descendants of those minions, who later gained the name of demons, still lived and having lost their original enemy Ordus, turned their attention to those who inherited his power to control the elements. A terrible war erupted and the human world crumbled to the power of the demons. Only the six clans who were chosen by Ordus persisted. Seeing their power, the remaining humans turned towards them, swearing their loyalty to the clans in return for salvation. Humanity, now united under the six clans could finally fight back and eventually defeated the demon horde. The now defeated demon horde was forced to retreat to the resting place of their ancestors: the realm between realms, waiting for the moment of their revenge.

With the demons horde defeated, the six clans divided their world, which they named Sogath, into six kingdoms. The Clan of Wind decided to create a kingdom named Fulgarum in the desert situated in the middle the continent. The Clan of Earth took the land located in the North West, situated at the base of the mountain range dividing the northern part of the continent and created the kingdom Orbus. The Clan of Water claimed the ocean in the west and the land located next to it as their own and named it Undares. The Clan of Fire chose the land east too that of the Clan of Earth and named it Ignis. Finally only the Clan of Light and the Clan of Darkness was left. While both Clans where the smallest of the six, they were also the most powerful of the six and thus received the largest pieces of land. The darkness clan gained the land behind the mountain range, naming it Tenego and the light clan gained the land south of every kingdom and named their kingdom Millus.And although the demons still occasionally attacked from their hiding place, a period of relative peace dawned upon Sogath.

This peace however did not last. The other countries started to distance themselves from Tenego due to the nature of their power. This in return made the already distrustful people of Tenego even more suspicious to outsiders, which caused the relation between the countries to grow even worse. This was especially true for the relationship between Tenego and Millus. Ultimately the deterioration of their relationship led to the inevitable: an all-out war erupted between Tenego and Millus and both countries invaded their neighbors in an attempt to reach their enemy, causing the whole continent to descend into war. The war grew consumed more and more and lasted for more than a hundred years until all countries where completely exhausted. Knowing that the humans were at their most vulnerable, the demons started a large invasion. Erupting out of portals throughout the continent, the demon horde soon destroyed most of the human civilization. Being driven into a corner, the humans once again united but it was to avail. The demons were with too many and the human armies were weakened after the long war. Knowing that they were doomed if they could not perform a miracle, the kings and queens decided to risk everything in one desperate attempt to reverse the situation. They decided to attack the main army of the demons so that their attention would be drawn upon them. In the meantime, they would send a party consisting of the 6 most powerful elementalists of the kingdoms to kill the leaders of the horde. The chance of success of this plan was slim because not only did the part have to sneak behind enemy lines but this party would also consist solely off members of the royal families as the power of these families are above the average Elementalists. This caused not only the loss of multiple powerful elementalists; they also lost some of their most competent commanders which further increased the chance of failure. However, they did not have a chose and after choosing the members for the party, humanity's final battle began. Entrusting their hope to the chosen six, humanity's army marched to face the demon horde. They were outnumbered 100 to 1 yet still they bravely fought against the horde. The battle began and humanity began a seemingly hopeless battle. The battle dragged on for a day then two days and after 3 days of continuous battle there wasn't a soldier in the army that wasn't injured yet still they persisted, thinking about their families who lived behind them and the brave six who travelled deep into enemy territory, surrounded by demons. However, even though every soldier fought for ten men, eventually the demon horde overpowered the human army's and drove them back to their homes. All seemed lost until suddenly chaos erupted from the back of the demon army's. The six had managed to defeat the demon kings and without sparing a moment to rest, they attacked the demon horde in the back while displaying the heads of their leaders. The demons horde, now leaderless soon fell into chaos and was eventually collapsed. The humans had won but it was at a heavy price. Only a third of the total population had survived and the continent was forever tainted.

Knowing what their war resulted, the leaders of the six kingdoms decided to improve the relationships between the countries by creating an academy. This academy will be mandatory for all elemantalist from all six countries and will teach them how to use their power. To make that this academy would remain neutral, they decided place the academy in the center of the continent, on the border of Ignis, Orbus and Fulgarum and be placed near a river large enough for shipping with Undares. They also decided that the academy and the land surrounding will be independent from any nations and will be run by a council made out of one representative for each country. Finally they signed a treaty saying that if a country would try to invade the grounds of this academy; all other countries are obligated to fight the invader. With the creation of this academy, peace seemed to be insured.

Now, almost 100 years later, the forgotten truth will be revealed and the true battle for humanity will begin.
I really want to know what you think about it because i'm afraid that it will be to boring, on the other hand, i created it to introduce the readers to the world and give them the basic knowlegde of the world because i think it would be hard to add it in the story itself as the people living in the world would consider this basis knowlegde.

btw I just realised after rethink the summary that it sounds alot like something made for kill no more but ofcourse it won't be the same, it's just that I like assasins with a unclear past.
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