OLN: ALLBLΛCK (Psychological; Supernatural; Sci-fi; Action)

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ALLBLΛCK is a another web-based Japanese light novel styled story I am currently writing with help of grand mates. It is also a reboot of an old visual novel project I made almost two years ago. It tells the story of a protagonist who finds himself floating on the oceans with no recollection of what happened to him. During his amnesia days, he finds that he also suffering from hallucinations. His sufferings will lead him in a quest to rediscovering his identity, his friends, and his enemies. The story begin with one question, "What will you see when you're dead?"
Genre: Psychological; Supernatural; Sci-fi; Action; Tragedy
Originally posted on: http://f-s-c.deviantart.com/

Chapters:
α - Nous Part 1 | Part 2
β - Identity Part 1| Part 2
γ - History and Memory

Keywords: amnesia; dementia; blurring reality; time travel (?); lucid dream; superfiction

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Spoiler! :

ALLBLΛCK - α - Nous (Part 1/2)

19 June 2010
Location unknown
Time unknown

"What will you see when you're dead?"

A chain of words crosses onto my mind as I glare powerlessly towards a charades of gray and white on the raging and storming skies. This view is the first thing I see after who knows what happened to me and for who knows how long I've been passed out. That chain of words is also the first thing I thought. I don't know why, might be just my survival instinct telling me if I am alive.

But still, what will I see when I die? My mind is too weak to do the simulation right now. The question remains unanswered, but seeing how I am not staring to infiniteness and/or nothingness must be a definite message that I am, indeed, alive. I can only blink while my whole body is felt like being dragged up and down without ever touching a solid surface. I am not falling, it's something else.

Also my whole body feels wet, my whole body is wrapped with damp thick fabric. Raindrops falling onto my face and bounce off, while my damp clothes absorbs them. With this feeling dragged up and down, I am beginning to realise that I am currently drifting on storming ocean with raging skies on top of me, alone.

My hearing slowly begin to activate, the only noise I can hear is the sound of how the heavensend raindrops failed trying to pierce the salty heap of water of the Earth. It's not music, but the voice is actually sounds beautiful for me. Sometimes I admire how the ocean give mercy for me. Despite the raging storm and the rise and fall of tides, the ocean never even for once roll myself inside it's mighty waves.

I could have been drowned at any moment, but it would seem the seas has it's own plan. Theoretically speaking, my body's mass is not enough to press against the intensity of ocean's salty waters, that is why I am not sinking. But still, I can't help to think if there is anything else working here.

To be honest, I don't think I will survive this situation. Being alone in such vast place, even if I to squeeze my voice out, I am not sure that someone would hear my desperate scream.

"..."

I tried it, even if I try to force a sound from myself, nothing comes out. The hopelessness of the situation, the cold within the damp cloth which wraps my frail skin, the soothing sway of ocean calming from a storm's lullaby, and the chiaroscuro the skies play as the rolling clouds which hides it's true heaven fades to clear skies have somnolent effect which my weak body unable to resist. Slowly but sure, my eyes got into a losing battle against sleepiness.

"..."

[Someone is floating out here!]

"..."

[Help him!]

"..."

[Ready?! Hoist!]

"..."

[Is he alive?!]

[Is he breathing?!]

[How did he ended up here?!]

"..."

[His heartbeat is too weak!]

"..."

[...]

"..."

[We have done what we can, the rest is up on his own...]

"..."

Perhaps it's just a dream, I thought I heard some noise entering my peripheral sense of hearing during my dreamless rest. Despite the deep sleep I was in, I'm begin to regain my function. But it's not yet enough to awake me, instead my mind began to dream. Not a wild dream where I experience something I've never had during a pitiful moments of inability we call "reality." But a dream which feels so real it trapt me inside and give hard time differing which is real and which is not.

The lids of my eyes began to raise, both of my eyeballs recognise a wooden desk right in front of me. Meanwhile my own self is sitting on a chair with my hands resting on it's arms. As I slowly raise my head, I can feel a small knockback from my motion. My body feel like rotating a bit, just then I realise that I am sitting on some kind of rotating chair.

"You awake?"

A sound had alarmed me, for a second I frantically turn around to see where did it came from. But instead of finding it, I realise another bizarre fact; the place I am in is literally nowhere. The chair, the desk, and me are placed in a vast room where the floor is black bottomless while the ceiling is topless gray and the walls, if there is any, is borderless shades of gradient between black and gray.

"Please don’t panic, remember that I've promised not to hurt you."

Abruptly I stood from the chair where I sit, again looking where that voice came from. I've tried to scan every angle available in this place, from my back around to my back again, but still nothing, I am alone in this place.

"Please Mr <...>, sit, and I'll explain everything."

I turn myself around abruptly, this time because I am definitely sure that that voice is coming from my back. Both of my eyes dilate as I find a black silhouette of a man standing behind the desk. His whole figure is shrouded in darkness, making me unable to see any feature of his body. But from his silhouette, the only thing I can notice is that he is about 170 centimeters tall and is wearing a doctor coat.

"Wait, what did he just called me?"

He just said only three lines and obviously he just called my name, I remember everything he just said, but no matter how I rewind everything he just said in my mind, I cannot hear the version where he called my name.

"I understand that you are willing to participate in our program---"

"What did you just called me?!"

I barged and walk around the desk to reach him, but when I slash my hands to his collar about to grab his figure, my hands just go through his figure, as if I was trying to catch a ghost. His figure also disappears when my fingers touched his silhouette, making me frantically looking around for him. But despite his figure gone, his voice can still be heard continuing his sentence from my back.

"...and I thank you for your consent. Believe me when I say that you will do great deeds if you succeed."

As I turn myself around, I find the logic of this place had been bent. The desk I walked around should have been at least four steps away from me, but instead I find it standing directly in front of me. Terrified as I am, I take a step aback. But the back of my thigh bumps against a something hard and makes me lose my balance. I brace my bottom to land on anything solid, but instead, my fall breaks mid-way on something else; the rotating chair.

This literally dropped my jaw, I began to hyperventilate, not just through my nose, but also through my mouth. Soon I know that I have to calm myself, start with stopping to breathe through my mouth and close my lips. The sudden change on my breathing pattern forces me to swallow some of my saliva, which ironically almost make me choked. But it actually helped, I have calmed a little.

But still I haven't yet to understand what is happening here, even I began to doubt if I am really still alive. Since honestly, this "room", this chair, the desk, the sensation of grabbing a ghost I felt when I was about to grab that figure, the feeling of almost got choked by my own spittle, and the sensation I felt when I fell to this chair, all of those are too damn real just for a dream.

"From this moment on, you'll be living in this facility. You will get everything you want, but we expect you to always be prepared any time we need you."

Despite I have several question about what he just said, like what did he called me, what he meant with "program," or who is he, I had given up on asking. The only thing I want right now is to get out from this place.

"Every once and then, I will monitor your condition personally. There is no actual schedule for that, I will do it sporadically---"

"Shut up! Just get me out of here!"

I scream as loud as I can, but he does not react. Even I realise that my loud voice isn't even echoing, as if this "room" I'm in is boundless, literally infinity.

"...and that's all you need for now, someone will show you your quarter. If you ever need anything, just let us know."

I can't hold my impatience anymore, not if I am going to be confined in this room forever. I want to scream, loud enough my lungs should break. I stand from the chair where I sit and slams both of my hands onto the wooden desk in front of me.

"You deaf poke! All I want is to get---"

Just in an instant, I can feel something, I can differ what is real and what is not. The feel is just like when someone kidnapped you, put a blindfold over your eyes, take you on a plane, open your blindfold, then throw you out from that plane.

"...OUT!!!"

I wake up from my sleep whilst still continuing what I did last in my dream; screaming on top of my lungs. My voice was so loud, that is the only thing I can hear until ten seconds later. That kind of sudden shift in my conscience make me slightly confused, but only for a brief moment before I can adapt to my new surroundings.

Immediately after I stopped screaming, my senses begin to kick in. First thing I do is to apprehend what happened, I need to know where I am. Currently, I am sitting on a bed in a white room where there is only one bed, which I am on, one desk with a chair, a mirror, a jacket hanging next to it, and a medical kit cabinet.

After a few seconds, I can feel my head is dizzy. I realise that this room is a part of a ship. Not too long after that, I began to hear rushed footsteps from outside this room. This room does not have any door, only a rectangle hole in the wall covered by a cloth as it's curtain.

As the footsteps outside gets more and more intense, my instinct began to react. I scan the room for weapon to defend myself since I don't exactly know where I am right now. But I can see nothing useful I can use.

<SHEESH>

Suddenly a swaying fabric voice forces me to shift my focus, from looking for weapon towards the archway which covered in cloth. There stands two sturdy looking man who fix their eyes on me for a moment.

"HE'S AWAK---"

The second man shouts, despite being able to let off some scream, I managed to silence him by throwing a pillow to his face. To my surprise, my throw was strong enough to knock him back off the doorway. The other man immediately run towards me whilst looking violent. I can read his movement, he is trying to pin me onto the bed where I am sitting.

Before he could reach me, I jumps at him and lands my right foot to his left shoulder, I use my the direction of my fall and my weight to tumble his whole body off his standing. My weight is not heavy enough to actually pin him to the floor, but I still have enough force to knock him back with a kick using my right foot which still on his left shoulder.

His back clashes against the wall and the medicine cabinet, some of it's content pouring from it to the floor. Some of the medicines in the glass bottles scatters all over the floor upon their container shatters as it hits the floor. Meanwhile some of the other plastic bottles withstood the fall and some other pours out after the fall broke open it's lids.

Among the cluttering pills, I notice that a pair of small scissors also fell out from inside the medicine cabinet. Looking at my opponent is still trying to recover from my previous attack, I seize the chance to pick the scissors and hold them tight in my right hand.

Right after I have the scissors in my hand, the man thrust his right shoulder at me while his left hand is grabbing my right wrist. The force of his attack pushed me backwards, strong enough to struck my back against the bed. He have my upper body pinned against the bed and his grip to my wrist is tight enough to force me let my grip on the scissors go, even my free left hand is not strong enough to claw on his face to force myself free.

Suddenly I realise that my legs are still free. Not took me long to began pulling my legs upward to his abdomen and push him with all my might. He steps aback trying to regain balance, the pills on the floor doesn't make it easy apparently. In the end, he tripped and falls to the floor with the back of his head struck against the wall.

He groans in pain, I'm guessing the fall must have make his head dizzy, the sound of his head knocks against the wall is loud enough to distract me for a few seconds until I realise that outside the corridors are stampeding noise of footsteps approaching. Immediately I shift my eyes to the scissors on my right, I turn around and grab them with my left hand since my right hand is still hurt.

From the corner of my eyes, I noticed four men are standing by the doorway, looking at me in wonder after they looks at the man I knocked down lying against the wall. I tighten my grip to the scissors in my left hand while sorting my breath, my left foot hovering slowly onto the floor, trying to grasp a solid surface while my right leg is still sitting on the bed along with the rest of my body, preparing to charge towards them.

"Come on! Just hold him!"

Suddenly, a voice commands from outside, the voice had all of us distracted, but it also give me the chance to attack first. I thrusted myself forward whilst holding the scissors and runs towards them, there are only small chance that I can win against four people, but taking advantage of their distraction, I might be able to take one of them as my hostage.

It will only take me three steps until I reach the one who stands foremost, but my first step is enough to alert all of them. The man who stands in the front managed to avoid my first attack with the scissors, but he doesn't do anything afterwards. Instead one other man proceeds to hold my left wrist and another man tackle my chest. Both of them pushes me backwards towards the bed.

After two of them have pinned me, the other two joins them, making it harder for me to break free. The man who is holding my left wrist bit my hand, making me scream in pain and forces me to open my grip. I don't know what he do next with the scissors, I can't see him. I keep expecting the worst, but four of them just keep restrain my movement without doing anything that would damage me fatally.

Among the chaos, I notice someone else has entered the room, he walks hastily towards me trying to face me without having his men to let their restraint of off me. Honestly, I think that he is their leader. Someone who is responsible for my condition right now.

Using all the power left within my body, I raise my body trying to stand. To my surprise, I am strong enough to resist against them. Despite barely, I finally able to face him, there stands a man wearing green sweater, slowly taking steps aback holding his distance with me. The four men pull me with all their might, one pulling my left arm, one pulling my right hand, and two locking my neck, but their effort rendered useless. I am stronger alone then them four.

"It's okay, don't panic..."

The other man in front of me slowly approaches, he lifts his right hand towards my forehead. After then I can feel a damp sensation on my moustache area, some liquid drops from my nostrils into the grinding teeth inside my opened mouth, from there I can tell an indistinct taste of salt.

"Calm down! You're bleeding!" the man orders me loudly. Even without his orders, slowly my strength disappears, I'm beginning to feel weak, not even strong enough to stand. Also slowly, the grip of the four men are loosing. But without their grasp, I can't even stand on my own.

As I lose my balance, the man in front of me catches me. His slightly taller figure than me make me have to look above so I can look him in the eyes.

"What's happening? Where am I? What---"

Weakly I query a barrage of question, as I am unsure how long I can maintain my consciousness. I just wish he'd at least answer one of my question.

"Relax, I know you have so many questions."

"Just answer--- Wait... who... am I...?"

"Rest..." his voice is keep fading away as I lose my awareness, "we will talk later."

"..."

"..."

Again, I fall to a dreamless rest, but I am still too uneasy to have this rest. The next thing I know, I am back in that room. A room with only one chair and one desk. I raise my hands onto the desk, once and twice I tried to clap them. The sensation and the sound they produce, they feel so real. Yet I am sure that this place is not real at all.

"What is this place?"

Another question, as if there is not enough matter to confuse me at the moment. The solitude of this place give me peace to reflect on myself, I try to answer all the question myself, but I don't have the facts I need to build solid truth.

"What happened to me?" that is the first question, "what is the reason that made me ended up here?"

The last thing, and ironically also the first thing I can remember is waking up staring at stormy skies while floating on the ocean.

"But what happened to me that I ended up there? poke! I can't remember anything!"

I cup the top of my head with both of my hands and furiously scratch it. I hate myself for knowing absolutely nothing.

"Who am I?" I ask myself. "What did I do to deserve all this?!"

[Good day, Mr. <...>.]

"What?"

It's happening again, I am not alone here. Someone or something is communicating with me. Not just that, he also called my name but I still unable to hear my own name.

"Who's there?!"

I look around, at least waiting for another voice. Just let me believe that I am not insane.

[Who's there?]

Another voice, but I don't like this. I know exactly that voice, that harsh voice of mine.

Did my voice echoed? That voice is definitely mine, my voice talking to the other voice. I have no recollection of it anywhere, yet I feel like I know what I will have to say. Am I the one control this room? Or instead, this room controls me?

"I'm the one in charge of this project."

Suddenly another black silhouette of man appeared from my right. He walks around me to the other side of the desk until I can see his full figure. He is completely different from the one I meet in my previous visit to this room. This one is slightly taller, at least 180 centimeters, he is also wearing a suit and his hair is neatly combed aback.

"Then you must be Doctor Einhorn..."

[Then you must be Doctor Einhorn.]

I correctly guessed what ethereal my voice had to say. Finally I realise that this is not something that is happening to me, but is something that had happened to me, this room is a place from my memories. But no matter how hard I try, I can't remember anything about this Doctor Einhorn, what did he called me, nor what happened in this room.

The silhouette approaches me who is sitting on the chair and offers me a handshake, doubtfully I raise my hand to answer his gesture. And to my surprise, I can feel a solid texture of a hand as I shake his hand. The sensation is definite, meat, flesh and muscle. His grip is firm, yet so gentle, like handshaking with a living stone statue, just far more alive.

"How are your progress?"

[I'm still struggling with the basics, what do you expect me to accomplish?]

When he speaks, I already know the respond. But in the same side, I also feel like I've never been here before. It's feel like reexperiencing a past you never knew about. Despite being the one who is experiencing this, I can only watch like a bystander.

"I believe my subordinate had briefed you."

[Yes, but not in details.]

"Okay, what do you want to know?"

[Can you start from the very beginning?]

"Well, I'm not sure how..."

He ponders for a moment, might be thinking about what he should say next.

"...do you like this world?"

[Excuse me?]

"How the world are governed by the olds and frails who manipulate the youngs and toughs to protect what they have and to get what they don't have nor deserve?"

[...]

For a moment, my voice went silent, even if I had experienced this, I don't know what would I respond to that kind of question.

[I'm not sure, but I don't think I'd like it.]

"You should be. In my early days, I've had killed one to many human souls before I understand their value, not to me, but to who cared about them."

[You were a soldier?]

"Yeah, my past is something that I can't replace with good deeds."

[...]

"I never liked it, and I don't want anyone else to feel the same."

[That's why you choose to do something about it?]

"Yeah, and you are the key for that."

[What do you mean?]

"You know time travel, right?"

[Yeah, what does that has something to do with me?]

"Two years ago, I witnessed an important event which is probably the most influential event of my life."

[What event?]

"It's a long story, but enough to make me say that I might have found a way to change the whole world."

[Okay, but what does everything I am doing have something to do with... time travel?]

Without context, I'm unable to understand a single thing they're talking. What does Doctor Einhorn and I have to do with time travel? What happened between us? I'm beginning to see the importance of Doctor Einhorn for me, even enough to make me believe that if I want to know what happened to me, I should search for him.

"To be honest, I can't say anything for the moment since I am not yet sure that I am absolutely right."

[And, what should be happen if you're wrong?]

"..." he goes silent for a moment, with his hollow face looking at me deeply. It's odd, despite he's only a silhouette, I can feel something inside his faceless gaze, some kind of sympathy, as if I was deeply believed in him. "That choice is yours to decide and to fight for, I can only guide you through the way, the way I'm not sure exist."

[Doctor Einhorn?]

Suddenly another voice can be heard interrupting, it takes Doctor Einhorn's attention away from me, he turns around and face my right, looking blankly at nothingness, as if he was talking through his eyes. After a few moment, he nods and turn his face back at me.

"It would seem this concludes our session for today, we will continue this later."

He proceeds to walk around to my back through my right, I fix my eyes at him, tracing his movements to find him fading away as he reaches the back side of my chair.

I was left here alone, left to do nothing. His conference with ethereal me doesn't help me, it left even more questions for me to answer. I cup my face with both of my hand and rest my elbows on my knees, closing my eyes tightly whilst wishing when I open my eyes, everything would have been just a nightmare.

[Hey, <...>!]

Another ethereal voice can be heard, but the voice is different from any voice I've heard. The voice is so soft, calming, and soothing. It was trying to call my name, but my perception for sound is preventing myself to hear my own name. That voice also felt so familiar, so familiar it forces me to turn around looking for it's source.

After turning around more than half a circle to my right, a little far from the chair, I can see a white figure standing and waving it's hand at me. It's perpetual motion seems like asking me to approach it. I raise myself from the chair, whilst still clearing my doubt, I slowly approach the white figure in afar.

[Come on!]

It's movement breaks, it stops waving it's hand sideward and begins to waving it's hand back and forth. Slowly, I begin to notice that the white figure is a girl.

The closer I get, the white figure's shape begin to form a noticable silhouette, just like Doctor Einhorn's black silhouette figure, just in different colour. Her hip long hair sways according her hand movement, she wears a one piece dress as long as her knees and a wide brimmed straw hat.

[Hurry up!]

When I was about at least fifteen steps away from her, she lowers her hand and begin to run away from me. As she making a distance between me and her, I can hear playful giggles, as if she wants me to catch her.

"Wait!"

She have made an enough distance before I start to chase her. She doesn't run fast, didn't take much effort for me to catch her. But when I touch her figure, her body breaks to hundreds of raven flapping their wings to fly upward and disappears on the air. This surprise made me cover my face by crossing my arms. But oddly, her playful giggling voice don't disappear, I can still hear it from somewhere. I turn my face left and right and backwards to find her again.

[Hey, <...>!]

I can her again, but instead of approaching her, I turn myself and try to ignore her. But wherever I turn, I can still see her in afar in front of my eyes.

"ENOUGH!"

I unleash my rage by shouting on top of my lungs, but by doing so, this place's sky and ground begin to turns upside down. The black ground shifts forwards while the gray skies shift backwards until the black ground ends in the place of the gray skies and the gray skies ends in the former place of the black ground. But in other side, the white figure stopped giggling and calling me.

The sudden paradigm shift of this place's makes me terrified, again, I want to get out. For at least four times, I turned my face backwards looking for the desk and chair or the exit without finding anything, until suddenly I see the same white figure again. But now she is hanging from the black ground ceiling, staring it's hollow face at me blankly.

"You're la~te!"

"Huh?"

She touches my forehead using her right index finger, her touch makes me flinch and close both of my eyes. Her touch makes this whole place collapse, the sensation of her touch soon be forgotten by the explosion of gushing wind all around me. I don't know what happened to this place, the next thing I know, I went unconscious. I fall into dreamless slumber, the time revolves, the world rotates, all without me.

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Spoiler! :

ALLBLΛCK - α - Nous (Part 2/2)

There is absolutely no way for me to know how long time had passed, my mind literally turned off for the moment. Sleeping so deep in a dreamless rest feels so peaceful. This moments of tranquility I am enjoying soon to be disturbed by a falling feeling. My body suddenly feels heavy, as if I were thrown from heights so high onto the ground. But I never been able to enjoy the drop nor the fall, I just felt the spontaneous jolt which wakes my corporeal body.

"Agh!"

I wake up in the same room where I remember had a clash with seven people. Despite still have to adjust my breath, this time I woke up peacefully, no sudden need to contemplate in my surroundings nor the need to protect myself. This kind of serenity gives me the chance to understand the situation.

I realise that I am resting in a infirmary of a small ship. Unlike the last time, I slowly get off from the bed and slowly trace my way towards the doorway which covered by a cloth. From there I can see small corridors which only leads to two way, and this infirmary I am in is right in the end of the corridor.

I lay my left hand on the left side of the wall to prevent the dizziness from this ship's wobbling. The corridor's wall is made from brushed fiberglass while the floor is made from metal. My bare feet feels cold from touching with the metal surface, actually my left hand too, just not as cold as my feet.

As I walk, my sight gets disrupted by glitching ghostly yellow figures wearing lab coats. Their presence also produces some kind of ambient noise, like the sound of chattering crowd. Not too long after their appearance, I can feel a damp sensation on my upper lip. I raise my right hand and rubs on my moustache area, indeed there is something liquid dripping from my nostrils. I lower my eyes to see that my fingers are drenched in blood. Despite still worrying my own condition, after I put my hand down, the sight and sound of ghostly yellow figures have disappeared.

In the end of the corridor, shines a square light brightly. I raise my right hand to cover my eyes as I approach the light, the flashing light behind the end of the corridor is enough to blind me. I ascend the small set of stairs which leads to the upper deck. Upon reaching the deck, my eyes slowly adjusting to the blinding sunshine, and I could have sworn that this is the first sunshine and blue skies I've seen in forever. As my eyes gradually adapting, I begin to understand that this ship is a fishing vessel.

On the upper deck, I notice four people are lounging around. The first one is sitting on the port side of the deck, he is the sturdy looking man I knocked out back in the infirmary. The second one is looking at the seas from the port side, slightly farther than the first man, he is slightly smaller than the first one, his distinctive feature his the black cap with red front brim he is wearing. The next one is standing near the starboard, talking with the fourth, the third one is wearing short pants and the last one is wearing white stripped orange shirt. The one wearing cap and the one wearing short pants have noticed my presence, they alert the other two and then the one in short pants proceed to enter a door on the deck, right to the doorway to the lower deck.

"You okay?"

The one I knocked out back then approached me, offering me a handshake. I look at his hand hesitantly and reluctantly respond his gesture. Unlike last time, he's turned out to be friendly enough, might be my fault though.

"I'm Mory, you should talk to the doctor."

"Doctor?"

My first thought is the name "Einhorn," but I know it wouldn't be this easy. Plus I know that whatever happened to me must have separated me and Einhorn.

"Yeah, Tim is calling him," he avert from my eyes and points at the door where the one wearing short pants entered earlier. "Ah, there they are."

As he finished speaking, he immediately return to the place where he was sitting. From behind that door, two figures appeared. The first one is the one wearing short pants. And the second one is, if I recall correctly, is the last figure who I saw before I lost my consciousness the last time I was awake.

"Doctor?"

"Yes, my name is Jordan. Are you feeling well enough?"

His confirmation of his identity make me disappointed, I was slightly hoping that the doctor they are calling is Einhorn. Even when he exited that door, I have began to accept the fact that his appearance and voice is completely different from the black silhouette I met when I was unconscious.

"Yes, do you know what happened to me?"

"Frankly, I'm not so sure."

“Great, just someone who doesn't know anything.”

"I was hoping you could tell me, we should talk in the infirmary."

He points his right palm back towards the lower deck corridors; the place I was coming from. He walks before me and leads the way back to the infirmary.

"So, what happened to me?" I ask.

"Like I said, I'm not sure," he answers. "What was the last thing you remember?"

"...I was floating on the ocean, at night..."

"I mean about yourself."

"..."

Again, I try to remember anything I can about myself. But my mind hide my memory too well, I can't remember anything at all, not even glimpses. As if I was born yesterday.

"I'm sorry, I can't "

"I see..." he comments briefly, a hint of disappointment can be heard in his voice.

After our small chitchat, we have reached the infirmary. Jordan wave the cloth covering the doorway and enter the room, soon I follow him inside and stop, awaiting his side of the story.

"Wait, how long was I passed out?"

"About fourteen hours, before that you were passed out for five hours."

"Before I woke up and clashed with your crew?"

"Haha, yeah," he laughed sincerely. "You know, Mory is the strongest in this ship, and you win against him."

"Really?"

"Yeah, even you managed to escape from four men restraint."

"..." in retrospect, I highly doubt it. "I don't know how I did that, I'm not even sure if I can move that chair."

"Probably you had adrenaline surge, or something like that."

That might be the cause, I know I was ferocious that time.

"When we found you, you were wearing this."

Jordan takes the jacket hanging on the wall next to the mirror and give it to me. The jacket is very thick, decorated with fur on it's collar. Just like what they wear in winter. I immediately search it's four pockets for any clue, first the right and left hip pockets, then the right and left chest pockets, but nothing. The only thing that caught my attention is a name tag above the left chest pocket.

[Theodore Quentin.]

"Is that your name?"

Jordan notices that I'm focusing on the name tag, my brain drives to aggressive scan trying to remember this name. I push myself trying to remember, so forceful my head began to hurt. I press my right hand against my left eye to suppress the pain. But despite my effort, the pain, and as always, I can't remember anything.

"I... can't remember..."

"It's okay, you don't have to force yourself."

Jordan takes the jacket away from me and help me to sit on the bed, maybe in case if I collapse suddenly. Despite I don't like it being treated like this, I can't help to accept his gesture.

"What is happening with me? Why can't I remember anything?"

"..."

Jordan stares at me, his eyes are filled with curiousity, I can tell that he is also asking the same questions.

"My guess is, you are suffering severe amnesia, your long term memory has been afflicted, I don't know the details since I am not a neurologist."

"Ugh..."

I press my right hand against my left eye harder to suppress the sudden sharp pain inside my head, this feeling comes with sudden presence of glitching ghostly figures, but instead the earlier one, this time the figures are colourful ghosts of children. Running and playing all over the room whilst laughing playfully.

"What's wrong?"

Jordan exclaims as I suddenly removed my right hand from his shoulder and pressed it to my face. He uses both of his hands to hold my shoulders and lead me towards the bed.

"Are you seeing that?" I ask him whilst pointing towards the ghostly figures children inside this room.

"Seeing what?"

It would seem that he could not see them, those ghostly figures are only visible to me.

"Never mind."

Those figures gradually disappearing one by one, by each one of them disappearing, the sharp pain in my head also feeling better and slowly fades away.

"If I don't have anything that could reveal my identity, then I don't mind being called Theodore Quentin."

"..."

He goes silent for a moment, staring at me intently. This time I can feel that his eyes are judging me.

"I've checked your name last night, you're being searched after your aircraft fell."

"Aircraft?"

"It would seem that you were escorting for some kind of private corporation, some accident happened, you might have hurt and got amnesia."

"I see," I remarked. "Where was I going?"

"India."

"Then there is where I should go."

"In two days, we are returning to Mombasa. They have arranged a rescue party to pick you up on the pier."

"Thanks."

"It's okay."

"Is there something I can help you?"

I'm glad at least I can hear some good news, without Jordan and his crew, I'd probably dead on the sea. I don't know how I can express my gratitude, this is the least I can do for him.

"No, it's okay."

"I insist."

Really, I have this feeling of responsibility to satisfy. I take the liberty to walk off the infirmary towards the deck, looking for something I can do. Also since my last headache, I am pretty sure of my condition. The only dizziness I can feel right now is from the constant wobbling of this ship.

"You should rest, I haven't checked your condition thoroughly."

"Don't worry about it, I'm fine now. Plus you've seen what I'm capable right? I did beat your friend."

As I hastily walk through the corridor, again the sunlight blinds my sight. I want to do something because I'd like to see the open skies which I'm unable to do from that windowless infirmary.

When I reach the deck, one of the ship's crew had left. Leaving only three men on deck, the sturdy looking man with tight shirt, the man wearing short pants, and the man wearing white stripped orange shirt.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, I'm a lot better now."

The one wearing short pants notices our presence, he approaches us who from his side would have seen having a cooling argument.

"Jordan, what's up?"

"Oh, Tim. You haven't properly meet, right?"

"No?"

"All right, Theodore, this is Tim. Tim, he is Theodore."

Jordan introduces me with him, I think I remember him back when I was rampaging in the infirmary.

"Hi, sorry about then."

"It's okay. You know, you seem to be stronger than Mory if you were able to fight a four men restraint."

Jordan shakes his head a little, asking Tim to have a private conversation with him. I understand and I step a few steps back, letting them having some privacy.

From this distance, I see that Jordan is trying to explain something whilst whispering, and Tim seems to be disagreeing with him whilst also whispering. Seeing them having disagreement, making me wishing that they are not talking about me.

Finally they seem to be agreeing in something. After they finished talking, Jordan approach me again while Tim returns to his friends and talk about something.

"Sorry, we had to sort something."

"Did I do something wrong?"

"No, not you..." Jordan pauses for a moment. "I think you've already know, this ship is a fishing ship."

"So I see..."

"We lost someone in the last storm, even with eight people on board, we barely survived that storm."

As Jordan speaks, Tim gathers the other ship's crew around me. Including a man wearing blue shirt under white unbuttoned white shirt who just exited a room in the right side of the deck.

"According to today's broadcast, there is a storm we have to pass if we want to reach Mombasa."

"Yeah, we'd need more hands on deck too."

The man in unbuttoned shirt joins the conversation, despite not facing me directly, but instead he stares into the far horizon, where grey clouds has seem gathering.

"We'll need your help to get through that storm," he continues, while averting from his glance towards me.

"I will help."

"We'll need to reach the storm before night, before the tide push us away from land."

"By the way, you haven't know every one of us, right?" Jordan cuts in again. "We haven't properly introduced each other."

The man wearing unbuttoned shirt raise his right hand, offering me a handshake. His figure is and mine is only slightly different, he's only one span of hand taller than me. He hovers his right hand one step away in front of my stomach, with a little doubt, I answer his hanging hand and he firmly grasp on my right hand.

"I'm Dasan, captain of this ship."

"Theodore Quentin..."

Before I even release my hand, other's hand have been waiting for me. Immediately I move my hand to the other's. First one I shake is the hand of the man wearing short pants.

"Tim."

Under two seconds, he let my hand go, it's a definite hint that I need to move towards the other's. Next one I shake is the hand of the sturdy looking man in tight brown shirt.

"Mory."

His grip is so tight, I cant help but to let go first. I can see satisfaction in his face, must be because he had his payback when I knocked him out back then. The next one I shake is the man wearing white stripped orange shirt. Among all the people here, I believe he has the friendliest face.

"Alvi."

This one's grip is the weakest so far, despite his limp fish grip, also he doesn't let my hand go until I release my hand. And the last one, is the youngest. When I hover my right hand in front of him, he offers me a high five instead. His right palm remains hanging a few span of hands in front of my face. Despite a bit awkward, answer his gesture ineptly.

"Peppy!"

Well, that's all of them. I look at every one of them without saying anything, blending in a warm environment like this somewhat make me uneasy.

"Actually, there were an eighth crew. But unfortunately he passed away in the last storm."

Jordan points to the lower deck, there must be a room where they keep the eighth crew. I try to look in the direction he pointed, and judging from that, I believe the eighth crew must be kept in the room beside the infirmary.

"His name was Ben," Dasan, the captain, adds. "We have four hours before the sun sets and the tide rises. We have to reach the storm in that time so we can ride the waves."

"I agree with Dasan," Tim says, concurring to what Dasan said.

I can see the reason. During midday to midnight, the ocean waves always flow from the sea to the coast. Which make us easier if we want to reach the land in a storm. Once we enter the storm, we will only have to balance ourselves against the waves.

"Yeah, we don't have time. The fishes in our cargo won't last another day," Peppy adds, while pointing towards a square hole in the bow side of the deck.

Murmuring of agreement suddenly uproars among all the crews, they have the same opinion, but all of them have the same expression; anxiety and hesitation. From their mien of faces, it's obviously legible that they are afraid to be ended like their recently deceased friend, while in the other side, they have to get over that trauma if they want to survive.

"Excuse me..." I intercepted, also I raise my left hand to attract their attention. I wait until every one of them stops muttering before I start to express my thought. "I think all of you are afraid, after what happened with your friend."

"..."

"I'm not your friend, but I'll try to do as much as him or even more."

The vacant look on their faces tells me that I was right, I am literally nobody for them, but they have saved me. Now it's my turn to repay their deed.

"But with that kind of attitude, we are not going to get through that storm. We need to be sure and brave, I'll try my best, and I need you too."

"Nicely said," Dasan comments on my brief speech. "He's right, we can't keep brood in sorrow for Ben, we keep calling it sympathy. But in the end, it's fear for ending in the same way."

As Dasan speaking, I can see their vacant faces has began to raise and filled with determination.

"Thanks, we needed to hear that," Jordan adds, commenting on my speech and smiles in the end before entering the door in the right side of the deck.

Mory, Alvi, Peppy, and Tim patted my shoulder before they scatter to their own station. Alvi and Peppy enters the lower deck, while Mory and Tim stands on the starboard and port side of the deck. This leaves me with Dasan.

"Ben used to work on the sails with Mory and Tim, they could use your help."

"I will help them."

Dasan and I part ways, I head for Tim in the starboard of the deck while Dasan head to the door in the same side, where Jordan entered earlier.

"Hi," I greet Tim whose eyes is fixed on the brewing storm in the horizon.

"..."

He only took a quick glance at me before reverting his eyes back onto the horizon. It would seem that he is still preparing himself before entering the storm.

"Dasan told me to help you, is there something I can do?"

"You know how to tie knots?"

"I... do."

[Wait, something is wrong. How do I know how to do that? I can even remember what happened to me two days ago, yet I know how to tie a knot?]

"Then you should be fine."

After a few moments, the ship begin to move forward. A gushing breeze with splashes of salty water touch my face as the ship moving. As we get closer with the storm, the skies is getting darker and the cat's skin breeze turns into a gale.

"Everyone's in position?!" Dasan shouts from the bridge on the second story of the deck, along with Jordan in the same room.

"Get the line, now!" Tim shouts at me as he see Mory has begin climbing the mast.

I hastily grab two rolls of rope which lies under the mast and throw one at Tim, after receiving the rope, Tim throws something at me which I awkwardly caught with both of my hands. I look to my hands and see a pocket knife in them. Well, if I were to work with ropes, it's just essential to hang on a knife.

"When Mory cut the sail, immediately roll it!"

I nod at Tim's instruction then shift my eyes towards the top of the mast and put my pocket knife to my right back pants pocket as I wait for Mory to finish cutting the sail. As I look at him, drops of water has began to falling from the dark skies onto my face.

"Two storms in one week..." Tim scoffs and comment sarcastically to me, which I reply with an awkward smile.

"Done!"

Mory yells from the top of the mast, dropping a layer of thick fabric to us. Without hesitation, Tim grabs it before it even touched the deck and roll one side of it.

"What are you waiting for?! Get on to it!"

Tim shouts at me for being slow, the roll of sail is leaning to his side. Knowing that he is waiting for me to react, I abruptly join him rolling the other side of the sail. Soon as the roll is square, Tim continues his rolling in a pace I almost unable to catch.

It didn't took much time to roll the seven meters tall sail with that speed. Tim climbs onto the guard rail to lift the roll of sail and tie it onto the boom. He points his finger towards the mast, hinting that I should climb onto the mast and do the same.

Meanwhile Mory has climbed down and ready to help us, I'm the only one between them who stalls since I don't know what should I do.

"Get up there and tie the sail!"

Mory instruct me to climb onto the boom, I obey his order without saying anything. He grabs the sail roll as I climb and as Tim waiting on the other end of the branch.

Mory lifts the sail to my side first, he holds it on it's place while waiting for me to tie the sail onto the boom. The rain which showers us has now turned into downpour, the raindrops has made our clothes from damp to wet in minutes. Mory keep raking his hair backward every time his hair fall down his face because of the water. Fortunately my hair is short, so Mory's problem is not my problem.

I wrapped the sail at least ten times before I secure it with a knot and test that it is fixed in it's place. I give a signal to Mory that I'm done here so he lift the other sail's end. It's true though, Mory is stronger than me. I tried to lift the sail earlier and I couldn't do it, and to see Mory able to do it alone proves it.

"Tim! You need help?!" I shout at Tim who noticeably having a hard time tying the sail.

"No, stay there!"

The strong wind around us pushes Tim around, he is having a difficulties between hanging on, keeping his balance, and tying the sail. Despite his conditions, he rejected my offer for help. Knowing that Tim needs me where I am, Mory proceeds to help him instead while I continue securing the sail.

"Ugh!"

"What happened?!"

I heard a groaning noise from the other end of the boom, there I found Tim is sucking the valley between the index and thumb finger of his left hand. I take it he accidentally cut his hand as he about to close the tie.

"You okay?!" Mory asks.

"I dropped my knife!"

I was right, he accidentally cut his hand and dropped his knife off the ship, I can see that he hasn't finished securing the sail yet. I hasten my pace to finish this tie so I can help Tim and Mory.

"Wait! I'll be there!" I shout at Tim and Mory who doesn't have any difficulties hanging on, but from the looks on their faces, I know they want me to hurry. "Done!"

I jump off from the mast onto the deck and run towards Tim and Mory. But when I land, the ship is crashing against a big wave. The turbulence is enough to throw me, Tim, and Mory off balance. As I raise myself up, I can see that Mory is helping Tim to stand up.

I hold the knife's edge and points the handle to Tim. He shakes his head after seeing me handing him the knife, hinting that he is not in condition. I can see blood is dripping from his lips, despite he desperately sucking the blood, enough to say that his wound is deep enough.

"I'll check the engine room, I think I can help there!" Tim says still biting his left hand as he keep his balance from toppling while he walk himself towards the lower deck. "I'll ask Alvi or Peppy to help you here!""

"No, just help them down there!"

The only option is me to finish his work. I've seen Alvi and Peppy, they are not suitable for deck works, that is why I refuse Tim's offer whilst still focusing myself to tie the knots.

"Yeah, you just help them!" Mory adds, agreeing with me.

Also it was unnecessary, soon as Tim entered the lower deck, I finished tying the knots. I shake the sail a few times to make sure that it is firmly secured.

"Done?!" Mory asks.

"Yeah!"

"We're done here! let's wait in the bridge!" he continues, expressing his thought which I am not differ with.

For a moment I looks at the skies, I vaguely remember this scene. The gray and black chiaroscuro I ponder under when I was having a difficult times telling what is real and what is not. This time I know exactly that this is real.

"What are you doing?!"

Mory shouts from the door leading towards the bridge, his shout is indistinct as it's trying to fight against the storm's song. But his vague voice is enough to attract my attention.

"I'm coming---"

"Help!"

Suddenly a startling scream can be heard approaching from the lower deck, it's not Tim's voice, but I'm sure that it was Peppy's panicking voice.

"What happened?!" I asked him who is rushing out from the lower deck.

"The engine! It's overheating!"

"What?!"

"The engine's overheating!"

"What do you need me to do?!"

"We need to cool it off, I'll try with pouring water on it!"

"Okay, then. I'll tell Dasan the situation!"

Peppy and I disperse without saying anything, I soon head to the door in the right side of the deck.

"Dasan! The engine is overheating!" I scream through the door without entering the room, I know my voice is loud enough for them to hear.

"Dammit! Turn it off then!"

That should goes without saying, I slammed the door and run towards the engine room in the lower decks. But before I can enter, I stop just right before Alvi about to clash with me, in his hands is four buckets.

"There you are! Can you fill these buckets?!" He ask me.

"Right, and Dasan want you to turn the engine off!"

"Okay!"

He hands me all the four buckets in his hand to me, which I immediately put down to catch some of the rainwaters. It doesn't take long to fill, I pour all the contents of other three buckets to one to make it full and put the other three back on their places. I carry the full bucket into the lower deck and head for the engine room.

"Water!"

"Pour it to the engine!"

Without hesitation I follow Alvi's instruction, I take my stance to splash the engine with the water. With one swing I empty the bucket and all the content collides with the hot engine. A lot of steam spreads all around the engine room, which means that the engine is still heating.

"I'll get more water!"

I rush myself towards the lower deck corridor and without stopping run towards the upper deck. I find all the buckets I put down has almost filled to it's full. I put down the empty bucket I carry and take two buckets, one in each of my hands.

"Tidal wave!"

"Huh?!"

I can hear someone yelling from the bridge, I raise my face upwards, despite it's feel hurts when the rapid raindrops lands on my face. From here I can see Jordan under a window of the bridge.

"A tidal wave is approaching from port! Turn the engine back on!"

"It's still heating!"

"Just do it! Or we will get capsized!"

Again, I rush myself into the lower decks, run with two buckets of water across the corridors towards it's end and turn left, across the infirmary.

"Turn the engine back on!"

I shout as I barge into the engine room. Tim, Alvi and Peppy looks at me with discontent, perhaps questioning my statement. While they busy staring at me, I have already preparing myself to splah the water onto the engine.

"It's still heating," Alvi comments, with his palms pointing towards the steaming engine.

"I know, but there is a tidal wave! We need to turn!"

"The engine will bust!"

"Every second we keep arguing, the tidal wave is closing in and nothing we can do about it except to turn!" I shouts while putting the bucket in my right hand down and preparing to pour the other one.

"Dammit! Turn it back on!"

Alvi finally gives in and instruct Tim and Peppy to turn the engine back on despite the engine it is till steaming. While all of them are trying to turn the engine on, I am still trying to empty the second bucket. Peppy wraps a cable onto the generator and pull it with his might a few times before finally the engine turns on, and at the same time I have poured the second bucket empty.

"I'll get more water and tell Dasan that the engine is on!"

I grab the buckets and run towards the deck again and check the other two buckets, I replace the buckets on the deck with the ones I carry.

"The engine's back on!" I shouts towards the open window of the bridge.

"Brace for impact!"

Jordan warns me, and accidentally I caught a glimpse from the corner of my eyes. From the port side of the ship, there is an at least ten meters tall of tidal wave, which I thought was the skies at first. With this sight in front of me, I drop both of the buckets in my hands and dropped my jaw also.

"Too late for a turn!"

Soon as I regain my alertness again, I run towards the guardrail on the port side and grab it. I wish I could have at least tell the other three in the engine room. Also, as I tightly holding on to the guardrail, I notice that my nose is bleeding again. This is not the best time for this.

[Promise me, <...>. You will show me the sea.]

"What?"

I heard something, someone whispered. That's impossible, even when someone shouts here, I can barely hear them. But yet I can hear this whispering voice crystal clear.

That soft and soothing voice, I remember that voice. That was the voice of the white light figure in my dreams. How can I hear her voice? I'm not dreaming now, am I? I try to bit my right index finger to confirm and it felt hurts, but then still, how can I hear her voice here?

This ship has only made two third of the turn when the tidal wave collapses and crash with the ocean waters. The aftershock it cause makes this ship lose it's balance, it's slanting almost half of it's side, the slightest push will turn this ship over.

During this moment, I can feel a sharp pain in my head and my nosebleed is still not stopping. I close both of my eyes, press my right hand against my left eye, and grind my upper and lower teeth to suppress the pain. But no matter how hard I try, the pain is still too sharp.

<...>

For a moment I close my eyes, but something odd is happening, the sound of the rain suddenly stops. Replaced with a soothing sound of calm waves. Slowly I open my eyes as the pain gradually beginning to disappear. But as my eyes steadily adjusting itself, all my eyes see is a sight of something impossible.

Thousands raindrops, or even millions of them, floating right in front of my eyes. The raging ocean has disappeared despite the sky is still shrouded in dark clouds.

"What happened---"

Tim, Alvi, and Peppy barge out from the lower deck soon with shocked look on their faces. Slowly I raise my body and try to undersand what happened. Jordan, Dasan, and Mory also can be seen in the bridge having a dazed looks.

I touch one of the raindrops, slowly the raindrop pours in my finger skin like a gel. But soon as I remove my finger, the water does not return to it's original form. The three men under the lower deck doorway also try to do the same thing, also with the same result.

The first one to snap out from this façade was Dasan, he immediately accelerate the ship when the sea is calm as water in a bathtub. The floating raindrops which collides with us only streetches like gels to avoid hitting us. The calm sea and the floating raindrops keep happening despite the sky is still shrouded in storm cloud, even after we navigated through the storm, we never know what had happened.

All of us is trying to get a rational explanation as Dasan is getting us out of the storm, but none of us can get even a theory. Except for me, for some narcissist reason, I believe that I might have something to do with this phenomenon.

Hours later when I am staring at the night horizon over calm seas, Jordan approaches me. He offered me a cup of hot chocolate which I quite enjoy.

"What do you think about today?" he asks with a look of suspicion in his eyes, I know he must thinks that I have something to do with it.

"I don't know, I am just as clueless as you."

"..." I don't know what in his mind, but I can see he has found a piece of truth in my answer. "Anyway, thanks."

"For what? I scarcely did something."

"..." again, he thinks for an answer. "I must tell you something."

"What's that?"

"Remember when I said a rescue party will be waiting for you in Mombasa?"

"Yeah?"

"I lied, there will be no recue party."

"...it's okay, I think I can make my own way to India."

"That is not what I meant."

"..."

"What I mean is, it will not be a rescue party waiting for you in Mombasa..."

"What are you talking about?"

"When I reported about you yesterday, we knew that you were not a victim of plane crash, but you were wanted."

"Huh?"

"You were wanted because you are said to be responsible for the fall of a private flight owned by Graille Einhorn."

What he just said changed my emotion and expression. My eyes dilated and I can't hear anything else, my mind is too busy processing that previous stark raving information.

"What did you said?"

It's that name again. A name that I keep hearing, I know that name is important. But what? I crashed a plane? Seriously, what happened to me? I lost my memories, I keep seeing things, I don't even know my name. And seeing what just happened earlier today...

...what am I?

[fsc]

Spoiler! :

ALLBLΛCK
- β -
Identity

22 June 2010
Coast of Mombasa
10.42

Seasick; that is what I should be feeling right now. Hours I spent alone, almost not budging a single step from this bed. But since I was too deep within my own thoughts, I can almost not feel it at all.

Also, since the only clock on this ship is located in the bridge and there is not a single clock in this infirmary, I don't know what time it is right now. The only thing that show time was the long shadow of bright morning sunrise that shone through the deck doorway which I caught glimpse from the doorless infirmary sill moments ago, even I had lost track of how long moments had passed since then.

“Damn, where are those dreams when I want them?!”

I curse myself, I curse my own mind since I feel like if it's toying me, refused to show me any of those black and white vivid memories that I've keep seeing yesterday. Instead, I got these intense sharp pain in my head every once and then when I try to force it out.

After trying again and again, all I managed to squeeze out from my own brain was echoes of voices; gunshots, explosions, and screams. Despite just voices, it made me wished I've never heard it. Not because it was sound awful, but because it made me think that I might have something to do with that.

I barely had any sleep for last night. Even if I did, I would wake up again in minutes. My anxiety prevented me from getting any good rest. But then again, it preventing me from sleepiness now, I don't feel sleepy even when now is morning.

It kind of enhances my sense, though. My ears can hear footsteps entering the lower deck. There is not supposedly anyone in the lower deck except me. The last time I heard someone's footsteps within the lower deck was a few hours ago; when whoever he was went up to the deck.

The footsteps is getting louder, but not enough to echo through as the corridor is not long enough and the footsteps itself is not that loud, it's only my own hearing which makes them seems louder. He passed the crew quarters, if he were not to enter the engine room, then he's here for me.

“Theodore?”

Despite my anticipation, Jordan's sudden intrusion into the infirmary had me jolted since I was deeply enjoying my solitude. After what he told me last night, I've chosen to seclude myself in the infirmary, trying to remember what happened to me whilst convincing myself that I am not someone bad.

Also, I'm preparing myself for what to come. I found it strange, though; I'm not afraid. I might be facing legal sentence, but in other side, they will tell me who I am and what happened to me. Not that I am willing to give my liberty for answer, but I just can't see any other way.

“Yes?” I reply, softly.

“We are almost ashore.”

Reluctantly I stand, off from the bed surface where I laid my head and spent my night pondering. I know that by that, he's saying that this is not the moment to be preoccupied, he also meant that I should get ready.

I try not to think of what is waiting for me, and it feels like someone telling you not to mind the elephant in the room, obviously I can't do that. As I stretch my back with both of my hands thrown upwards, I realise that my body apparently had betrayed my mind and rested, leaving my consciousness sleepless.

My mind is fixed on a subject that is keep drawing my attention, my mind choose to ignore it, but the unease it caused makes you keep looking back at it. And the more you see it, the harder it is to overlook it.

“I'm coming.”

I said lazily whilst trying to hide my worry before I stand up and walk towards Jordan, who is waiting by the threshold that separates this infirmary and the lower deck corridor. To be honest, I think this scene is like a prison guard who is taking his prisoner to an execution. “Ironic analogy,” I think.

“Why are you telling me this?” I spoke with slightly shouting, almost like talking normally, but with higher volume and tone.

It was last night, Jordan approached me on the deck when I was thinking after what happened that evening. No one knows what happened there exactly, but apart from mythical stories Tim was muttering, I believe that the storm was stopped because of me.

There Jordan explained to me that they, the whole ship's crew, have been lying. They said that there would be a rescue team waiting for me at Mombasa when we landed, where in reality, there will be capture party.

“I am sorry, the others are convinced that you are a criminal.”

I sighed, I knew that there is no way I can't prove otherwise.

“They can't doubt it, it was official announcement,” Jordan continues.

“I can't blame you for that, I can't prove that I did not do what they claimed I do.”

“I'm telling this to you so you don't think ill of us. Deep down, I trust you. I am sure that you did not do that.”

“...” I was speechless, there is no one I could trust on this except myself, a ‘myself’ who doesn't even know anything. “How can you say that?”

“To be honest, I don't know.” His answer slightly disappointed me, but I also felt glad about it. “Naked instinct perhaps, but it felt so strong I can't ignore it.”

“... thanks.”

I liked how he put a blind faith on me as if I'm innocent despite many others say I'm not. Unfortunately we only had one day to spend with each other, I kind of wished that I have knew him longer, we might have be good friends.

He offered me some drink later that night, which I regretted not to accept. Instead I head to the infirmary and began to contemplate in solitude. Knowing how I spent the night and how I feel right now about the whole thing, I should have taken that offer.

“I might have not said this enough,” Jordan whispers without looking at me as we walk through the corridor, “I'm sorry.”

I pretend I did not heard that, I notice that Jordan know that I'm faking, but he also pretend that he doesn't know. This kind of making me wanting to respond to what he said, but it's too late and it would be awkward if I try.

I don't know how long I spent shelling myself inside that infirmary, but apparently it was enough to make me forget how blinding can skylight gets. The clear blue skies along with the song of the seagulls' cry greeted me and Jordan who exited the lower deck.

After my eyes adjusted to the blinding sunray, I notice that we are approaching the mainland which is now not too far in distance.

[The first time I've ever seen land ever since who knows when.]

This might be the only good side of having a mind of being born yesterday; I can truly appreciate the beauty of small things that everybody else can see every day.

“HOME!”

Tim yells loudly against the roar of the ship breaking the waves from the bow. His voice is surprisingly loud enough to compete with the sea's rumble.

“Will somebody pull him off before he claims to be king again?!”

Dasan mocks at Tim from the bridge with a sound that is also enough to compete with the waves. Dasan's shouting immediately followed by laughter from Mory, Peppy, and Alvi who are also standing by on the deck.

Roughly thirty minutes later, the ship finally docks to the Mombasa pier. An ambulance has been waiting for our ship on the pier before we even reach the pier. And after we docked, all the ship's crew except for Jordan, are pretending to be busy. Dasan, Mory, and Peppy pretend to unload fishes from their cargo. While Tim and Alvi pretend to check the engine room.

Before I disembark from this ship, I made a last trip to the infirmary. Not to reminisce, two days in this place gives me nothing to remember, except for that storm, and even that did not happened in the infirmary. I came back to this infirmary just to retrieve the last thing that is belonging to me; my ‘Theodore Quentin’ winter jacket.

Left on the deck beside me is Jordan, who it seems everybody had voted to be the representation of my parting party. The thing is, apparently he also doesn't know what he should say.

“So, this is farewell, huh?” I say jokingly.

“Sorry for the other, they meant well.”

“Naah, it is fine. Just tell them thanks, without all of you I'd be dead already.”

Unexpectedly, he raises his right hand forward, offering me a handshake. And since I was surprised, I awkwardly accept his gesture. To think of it, he is the only one I did not shake when the first time the others introduced themselves. This make a good follow up, despite it's a little too late.

“They've been waiting for you,” he said as he taps on my right shoulder with his left hand whilst our hand is still shaking each other and then points at two men in greenish shirt uniform who are standing on the pier.

It was a bit hard, but after I spotted the two men, I let my grip off from Jordan's hand and wears the jacket that I've been holding on my left arm. Without saying anything else, I walk off the deck into the pier. Only after a few steps later I realised that I haven't say good bye. But then I refrained from doing so seeing how Jordan has turned his back and enter the upper deck.

I turn my back and walk faster to the pier, where the two men wearing greenish shirts and black pants are waiting. As I walk on the pier which is paved with oval-shaped stones to the alley which connects with the streets, one of them realised my presence and warn the other. Before I can reach them, both of them also approach me. And since I know that they are not here to take care of me, I have to be careful.

“Lieutenant Theodore Quentin?” the one that is wearing eyeglasses asks with bleak voice.

“Yes,” I answered with my head instinctively do a single nod.

“We are your rescue team, sir.”

[What a lie.]

From the very beginning, he has lied to me. His answer gives me more reason to watch over myself.

“My name is Odi, and this is Rick.”

It is very hard for me to fake a smile right now, but since they are the only way I can know about myself, I try to stay in my character.

“Our transport is parked in the street, we will take you to be extracted.”

“S-Sure.”

I was flustered because I was thinking what they would do to me. The best scenario is that they are really taking me to Graille Einhorn, and the worst scenario is they'd kill me here and now. Because if what everybody is saying is true that I crashed an aircraft, that is the most reasonable thing to do. I was scared they would do the latest, but apparently they are taking advantage of my absent-mindedness.

After we walk out from the alley, I can see a red and white vehicle that looks like an ambulance is parked on the street. Odi and Rick is walking me towards it, looks like I'd be taken in after all.

“So, sir, our report says that you are amnestic?”

Odi begin to talk as we approaching the ambulance, I'm glad he opened up, because walking with them, two people I don't know well, in silence is very uncomfortable.

“Uh-huh, I can't remember anything prior from the first night I was rescued from that fishermen's ship,” I answered after a short pause. “Can you tell me what happened?”

“Frankly, we don't know the exact story, sir. We are just told to pick you up here.”

[That figures, they are just underlings.]

“But our report says that you got caught in a helicopter crash,” Rick adds.

“I already know that, the fishermen told me yesterday.”

“We are sorry, sir. We don't know anything else,” Odi continues, and as he speaks, we have already reached the back door of the ambulance.

“But you should be assured, we are taking you to someone who knows.”

“Really?”

*CLICK*

I did not bother to see when Odi opened the ambulance's back door since I was too focused on talking to Rick. Wrong move. Because soon after the door opened, a third figure suddenly jumped out from the ambulance and put a bag onto my head.

“What the—”

I resisted and so do they, but before I can even comprehend what is happening, one of them put muffle my mouth and nose with his hand. Suddenly this strong, pungent stench gets through the thick cloth of bag that is covering my head.

[Chloroform!]

<...>!

The smell induces my thought, making my body feel this sudden irresistible fatigue. By the time the hand that muffles let my mouth and nose go, my head is too heavy to react, and before I fall like a sack of sand, I can hear that voice again; the voice of someone calling my name silently.

In the bright side, though, this is the first sleep I have since yesterday.

<...>!

It's that voice again, despite I can't even hear my name, I can hear how she calls me. Not the word, but the tone. It was friendly and gentle, it soothes me during this uneasy moments of being drugged.

<...>!

[Shut up…]

Once and twice it called me, it was soothing, but the third time kind of annoys me. Before I was drugged, I was alert, but after I fell unconscious, my sleepiness took over. I'm refusing to wake up, I don't know how to tell the voice to let me have some rest.

<...>!

[What?!]

My inner voice shouted, and it echoes in the empty chamber of my mind. In an instant I open my eyes. Not my real eyes, but the eyes that I use to see dreams.

I awakened, my senses has turned back on. My sense for vision, my sense for hearing, my sense to smell, my sense to talk and my sense to feel. I am back to that room where the sky is white and the bottom is black.

I look to my left and I realise that this time I arrive in a different place, instead of sitting on a chair behind a wooden desk, I am now sitting under a tree. A small willow tree, the tree itself looked like it was real; the brown and grey of its woods, the green of its leaves, and the red and yellow of its dead leaves.

This is the first time I see other colours than dull colours in this room. There is something odd with it though, despite I can't feel any wind here, the leaves and branches of it sways around slowly as if it was being blown by wind.

There is also a book on my lap, it's not thick, but it just plain white. The cover is blank, and when I check it, I find that every pages of it was clean.

<...>!

There is that sound again, but this time, I can hear where exactly it came from.

“WHA—”

I was shocked when I turn my face to my right, a white figure is standing very close from me, just one step away from me. Her hip-long hair is waving to her left because of the non-existent wind while she uses her right hand to hold her waist long hair from entering her non-existent eyes.

“What do you want?”

I was too shocked, and just like before, an ethereal voice of mine can be heard. My voice sounds different, somehow lighter. Also, unlike last time I saw her, the white figure is now apparently wearing sleeveless blouse and jeans, not a sundress.

“Were you sleeping here?!”

She shouts at me. Her voice sounds tough, but I can still hear a hint of feminine voice.

“So what? Why are you here anyway?”

“If you could answer me earlier, I would not have to walk here!” she scolds me while crossing her arms.

“It's subtly implied, if I'm not answering, then I don't want you coming.”

“... whatever.” She gives up, while raking the right part of her hair from entering her face. “Eve's been looking for you.”

“Eve? What for?”

“She asks for the new book you borrowed.”

“Oh, this book? Tell her to wait, I haven't finished it.”

“Then quickly finish it.”

“It's hard, I fell asleep through it every time.”

“Then just let Eve read it first!”

“No way, she'll spend three days reading this. I will finish this book tonight. Now let me rest.”

“Ah, so you really were sleeping here?!”

“Like I said, so what?”

“You shouldn't sleep here!”

After standing and scolding me from where she was standing, she began to approach me and yank my right hand. And just like before, like when I shook Doctor Graille Einhorn black silhouette's hand, despite her indistinct form, her touch felt so real. She took my right arm and pulls it as hard as she can, but no matter how hard she pulls, I did not budge. I did not even resisting, but she definitely tried to pull me out.

[Just let me stay, I’ll be back to the house before night!”

“No way! Wake up!”

“You're annoying!”

“Wake up!”

“...wake up!”

“...wake up...”

She keeps pulling my right arm, again and again. Until slowly her voice fades away, but it keeps echoing. And little by little, the sensation of her pull changes to another force from outside of my body.

I regained my consciousness; gradually I'm becoming alert of my surroundings. I can hear the sound of engine and car horn honking vaguely, but I can't see anything. I then remembered that they put a bag over my head, of course I can't see.

Also, when I tried to move my hand, my hand's movement is limited. Both of my hand is bound tightly behind my back. I can feel what is binding my hands, it's not steel cold, so I think it would not be handcuffs. It's not bold, so I think it would not be rope. And I can feel that it is thin, I'm guessing zip tie.

Zip ties, despite their reedy structure, it is still physically hard to break free from its bound. I have to give up after a few tries, because instead of making it stretched by expanding my wrist by pushing my hands against each other, I hurt my own wrist.

Despite being blinded, I try to absorb my surrounding, I remember the last thing happened to me before I arrive here was being bagged by my ‘rescue party.’ While I'm now sitting on a bench, my back is lying onto a wall.

And from indistinct voice of traffic outside, it's just a wild guess, but I think they are driving me somewhere in their ambulance.

“Shit, the Supervisor is slow on responding.”

“How long since you ask for directive?”

“Almost an hour ago.”

“Well, just report that we will not be on time.”

So far I haven't yet to make a movement, except for when I was trying to spread my arms, in case there is someone with me here. And after hearing two mumbled whispers from my left, I know I was right. If I were moving, I bet they would do something bad to me, not as if this situation is bad enough.

[Think straight!]

I clear my conscience, trying to come out with a rational plan. I know that whatever I have in mind, I have to free myself first. And no matter what, I have to do it fast, I also know that when they let me go, I'd be in a dangerous place and situation.

Twist my hands forward by moving my hands upward? Not without breaking my shoulder and pull some muscle. Spin my hands forward by moving my hands through my legs? Could be, but I will need to maintain balance, and soon as they notice my movements, they would apprehend me. Such fight would be easier if I'm not blindfolded.

The only best choice is to keep stretching the zip tie until it gives in, it would be very hard, but scraped wrist is still a better option than who-know-what-they-would-do.

After another meaningless few tries, I notice that not only the zip tie wouldn't stretch, I'm also sitting uncomfortably. I can feel something, some kind of hard bulge preventing my base from sitting comfortably.

[A wallet? I don't have any. A mobile phone? Less likely.]

I try to remember what I could have put in my back pocket, I don’t remember putting anything inside it, what even I have to place there? My mind try to dig deeper, but I am sure that after I woke up on that boat, I don't have anything in my pockets. This means either I put something between then and now, or the least possibility is they put something there, but I doubt it.

Again, I try to recall everything I did up to this point; I woke up, met the ship crews, helped them through a storm...

[Wait, that's it!]

I remember, I put a pocket knife there after I helped securing the sail. I guess they forgot to ask it back, but now I am grateful for their absent-mindedness.

Being precautious, I move my right hand slowly towards my right back pocket. It can't be helped when my left hand is also moved there, if I can see myself now, I know I would look suspicious. That is why I keep listening to their conversation, and so far they seems still focused talking to each other they haven't noticed me.

Awkwardly I pull the pocket knife out, I try make as little movements as I can, I don't want to attract their attention. I try to pull it, but my weight is pressing it against the bench. The lesser the effort I make to pull it out, the later I can pull it out, but also the lesser attention I attract. Fortunately after it reaches a certain point, it finally slid out smoothly.

Now a folded knife rest in my hand, it's not hard to unfold the knife from its handle. And after turning its edge to rest on the zip tie, I began to hinge my hand up and down whilst applying a slight weight to it so it slowly cuts through the zip tie.

*Knock* *Knock*

“Hey, Gyle, how long do you think we'll need?”

“I don't know, might be a while, though. This traffic is a nightmare.”

Since now I'm focused to cutting the zip tie, I try to listen their conversation. It seems this car is stuck in traffic, and I'm glad it does, if it were not, I might not have enough time to free myself.

[It's tearing...]

I can feel that the zip tie is expanding, my knife cuts through. Also it gets easier to cut the more I cut.

“Ah, finally! It's the Supervisor!”

“Oh, what does he say?”

“He says, ‘take your time, but I expect the package soon. I'll change your schedule, don't be late.’”

[The Supervisor?]

It seems the one they refer to as ‘the Supervisor’ is the one that is responsible for my captor. I kind of make me wonder if I'm still in business with Graille Einhorn or if I have more enemies.

“Tell him we will report more when we reach the transport.”

“...'kay”

[Just a little more...]

I try to expand my hands, just a little more and I can force it to break.

“Have you checked on him?”

“Ah, I forgot.”

[Got it!]

Just in the nick of time, ten more seconds they would have found out. And right after he unveil the bag that was covering my head, I swing my right hand and hit him hard on his left temple with my pocket knife's handle.

He didn't have time and reflex to evade, my blow landed perfectly and throw him leftward, further against the back door.

These people doesn't experienced in combat apparently, they give me enough time to survey my environment. The person I hit earlier was Rick and the other one sitting in this room is Odi. Right now, I am trapped inside the back of an ambulance, the odd thing about this ambulance is that there is no medical equipment what-so-ever, this car is just a disguise.

“Gyle!”

Soon as Odi began to react, instead of attacking him using the knife in my right hand, I spring my right leg upwards and boot Odi right on his screaming jaw. The impact from my blow was strong it made him bounce against the front wall and made him fall unconscious.

“What is happening back there?!”

A voice from the front can be heard, I remember the third figure, the one that blindfolded me back at the pier. Odi called him Gyle, and I need him awake, there are a lot of things I need to know from him.

“Odi? Rick?!”

He will have to come here if he wants to know what happened, but before that, I need to secure these two unconscious sluggers. I notice a pack of zip ties in Rick's pocket, so I put my knife back to my back pocket and take some of the zip ties to bind Rick's and Odi's legs and hands with them.

“Are you all right?!”

As I'm checking Rick's and Odi's pocket for something that might help them to escape, I can hear the front door being opened and slammed back shut, the driver is coming to see the back side. I didn't found guns or knives, but apart from their wallets, I found an electric taser and a radio transmitter in Rick's pocket, and another radio transmitter and a mobile phone in Odi's pocket. I might have use for the taser, but I don't need the mobile phone and the transmitters. But for some reasons, I keep the mobile phone anyway.

*CLINK*

I'm ready, just after I make sure these two won't go anywhere soon, the back door's handle began to move. Slowly it opens, revealing the view of main road's packed traffic. Some of the car behind this ambulance reflects the noon sun's bright light, I have to cover top-half of my eyes to see clearly.