Original Light novel (Immortal's Art) <<chapter 2 update>>

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raitouazura
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Original Light novel (Immortal's Art) <<chapter 2 update>>

Post by raitouazura »

Hi guys, Nice to meet you ^^. I'm new here but i already fan of Baka-tsuki pretty long.

I only found out recently that you can share your own LN here, so i also want to share mine here. If you have time please read it and give an opinion about it :D

Synopsis :
Spoiler! :
In this world There’s people who have extra-ordinary power exist, There’s people who have little power and using it just to make everyday life convenient, like moving things without touching that usually used by most housewives to to help them in house work or eyes that can see lost things, they who use their power is called Unnatural. And there’s people who using it to make themselves stronger to protect someone dear for them OR for personal gain. The one who possessed this kind of power is called Hero and there’s also humans who don’t possess magic, they’re called Neutral.

And above them there's existence of God and Demon, They been worshiped and feared ever since ancient times ago and live within human realm along with human. But human is creature that can grow with unlimited potential, moreover God and Demon is existence that filled with pride. The co-existence finally fall apart. Human find and created something that able to oppose God and Demon. The Human's technology, God's Judgement, and Demon's Wrath. These three factor is became trigger of war of three realm called <<Grand War>>. But that war is stopped by single individual that defeat all three faction on their greatest showdown. He is the one who called <<Immortal>>.

Now, centuries has passed. And <<Grand War>> is become legend that no one can prove whether it's true or not. God and Demon leave Human realm and live in their own realm, Human realm still in state of war for territory. and in this age, a new <<Immortal>> is born...
Vol.1 Birth of strongest existence

Prologue :
Spoiler! :
Prologue

The train is run on the rail, it’s speed split the wind. Most of the people that board the train is looking excited or anxious, it was natural, since the one who can board the train is only Unnatural and Hero. But the reason is not onlt that, It's because they finally can meet their family that have to go to the capital because of the certain rule.
The window from most back train is opened and there’s a young boy sitting there, he’s gazing at the scenery while his left hand that on the frame of window sustains his chin. Despite his age is only sixteen, His sharp eyes is something even most of adults don't have. His fast maturity is because of certain event that happen from ten years ago.
It’s just a day before his six birthday, Where he lost something because of his weakness, and also on that day he’s facing his true destiny.

On the day of my death, I become an Immortal
Chapter 1 :
Spoiler! :
Chapter 1 : Separation

Part 1


“Neutral!”

That’s what this round-shaped machine say when I, Sekizawa Yami, put my hand on something called Trial, Trial is something that can tell whether someone possess magic or not, Trial usually cannot be bring to outside unless in Mass exam that only happened once in year.

Mass exam is a world event to identify every 5 year old children from every country to tell which type they belong to, because the sign of Magical Energy or for short MANA will appear when they already five year old.

The People in this world is divided into three groups.

Hero, For the children that have extra-ordinary MANA. The Children that include in Hero group will be taken to the "Reinslan", This country "Sygrine"'s capital city, no matter if they willing or not. Because in this time where war can break out any moment, they can become war potentials.

Unnatural, For the children that have little or average MANA. The children from Unnatural group can choose to go to capital or stay in their homeland. But most of them is usually choose to stay in their own homeland with their own family except a few with their own reason.

Neutral, For the children that don’t have MANA. The children that was declared as Neutral won’t allowed to go to capital, Most of Hero always treated Neutral as a trash. of course there’s also Hero that treated Neutral as same human being but that was rare.

“…..!!”

I was taken aback when Trial declare that, I look at my little sister, Sekizawa Hikari, who already declared as Hero have stunned expression, before long a single tear is fall from the corner of her jade color eyes. Because she know the harsh law of this country, “Hero is not allowed to associate with a person who’s not a Hero”.
I extend my hand again to Trial, I don’t really care about become a Hero but I can’t leave Hikari alone since our parent already passed away and I’m the only relative she had, Just as my hand about reach Trial, I was stopped by the Guard.

“You’re Neutral, go back to your group”

The Guard pointed at The Neutral groups while harshly shove my hand because I’m just a Neutral, Neutral is always treated harshly by Hero because they don’t have power, it’s pretty typical I think, because the one who have power usually trample the one who doesn’t.

“Maybe that thing broken! Let me do it again with different Tri…”

Before I can finish my word, the guard already grab my neck and lifting me with just his right hand. With strong voice and bloodshot eyes he glaring at me.
“Shut up Neutral trash! You dare to say the Trial that has been made by Gregrain-sama broken!?”

The hand that that grab my neck is become tight, He can kill me anytime since nobody will trying to save me, It’s just natural because this guard is also a Hero, and Nobody dare to oppose a Hero. my vision starting to get blurry, the moment I think I’m gonna dead…

“Stop it!!”

There’s familiar voice who screamed, it was none other than at short silver haired girl who is my sister, Hikari who running toward me from her Hero group. The hand that choke me released me and like useless trash I fall to ground and lose my Consciousness.

===========================================

Every person in that area is frozen by the scream.

“who’s the fool that dare shout to the guard”

That what across every people mind who gather there, To become guard you need to become 8th rank Hero and it’s pretty difficult to reach 8th rank.
The source of that scream is none other than the girl from Hero groups, even in the Hero rank there’s also an unwritten law that the lower must never disobey the higher.
The girl running toward the collapsed boy and hugging him, Her face bacame pale after she realize that the boy heartbeat is so weak.

“Onii-chan!, please wake up, ONII-CHAN!!!”

She call him while shaking his body but the boy didn’t reply. The guards who watching that scene only sneering and when the guard who choked that boy trying to touch the girl...

“Onii-chaaan!!!”

The girl scream, and her body emitting white aura that make everyone there blinded by it’s light, The white light is glowing and soaring to sky and illuminate the entire island.

“Deg….Deg….Deg…”

The boy heartbeat become normal but he still unconscious.

“Onii-chan…thank goodness”

The girl is smliling relieved while holding her tear.

All the people there, Neutral, Unnatural, Hero, even the guards who’s sneering before is shocked, that’s natural reaction because even among Hero, the one that have white aura is very rare.

That white light is also seen by the captain of the guards, Sirius Bluestar, He instanly standing. The chair that he just sitting is fall down.

“White Light…It can’t be...!”

The captain who also saw the light from his tent muttering that and run toward the source in hurry.

When he arrive at the place he see the boy who unconscious and the girl with transparent white aura that glowing from her body and she’s glaring at a guard with stern eyes.

“If you trying to hurt onii-chan any further, I will bite my tongue here and die”

There’s no wavering in her voice, everyone there know that she’s serious. If this girl is just ordinary Hero the guard will surely just laugh at her, but they can’t, because if they let the possessor of white aura die, They will definitely be executed.

There’s only one meaning from white aura, The power of healing. Even among Hero, Healer is categorized as 3rd rank Hero because they very rare and useful. They can treat anything except death. The power of healing is also have their unique trait, Their trait is different for each possessor but it won’t be anything small.
The girl is know about this fact because her brother once told her that Hero rank is also divided from 1st the strongest to 10th the weakest. And she using hers as a threat to protect her brother.

“What happened?”

Sirius then asking the guard about what happened.

“Sir, it’s actually…”

After he understand he approach the girl slowly and politely apologize…

“Please calm down, I’m sorry for my subordinate behaviour. I will punish him later so please don’t talk about killing yourself like that”
Sirius say that with soft voice so not startle her.

Hikari stare at the man in front of her, he’s wearing armor that slightly different from any other guard. His age is should be about 40, and his presense is clearly different from any other Guard.

“Who are you?

“I’m The captain of this squad, my name is Sirius Bluestar, and what’s your name? little lady”.

“Sekizawa…Hikari…”

Sirius glance feel to the unconcious boy, he’s have jet black hair that totally opposite from his sister that have beauty silver hair. On his neck, there’s still mark from Guard hand.

“Put the one who did this to him to ship cabin and don’t let him out until I say so!!!”

Sirius command her men with hint of anger from his voice.

“Roger”

The other Guard answered and they surround the Guard who choke Yami. He’s trying to resist but futile. And then taken away.

“Is he alright?”

Sirius ask Hikari while look at Yami.

“I think so, he’s breathing starting to become normal again”

She watch him gently while patting his head.

Looking at the mark on Yami’s neck, There’s no way he can survive.

(so this is the power of white aura)

While Sirius thinking so, Hikari ask him

“Please let me stay here with my brother”

His heart is hurt when he see the look from the girl, it reminded him when he also taken to capital and have to separate from his family when he still child. But…

“Even if I let you stay here, The rumor about your white aura will spread. And if that happen anyone that want your power will try to take you even they have using force”

“That…”

If that happen, then her brother will also get involved. And in worst case, get killed.

“Then, please let my brother go to Reinslan with me”

Reinslan is Sygrine Capital city, every child who declared as a Hero or Unnatural by the Trial, They have to go there even by not their own will except Unnatural by their own will. Each one of them will live and educated there, If they don’t have parent or they parent is not a Hero or Unnatural, they will live with Hero or Unnatural as their foster parent until they reach age 20 and permitted to leave Reinslan.

“Even if he allowed to live there, do you think he Neutral will be accepted by the citizen who everyone of them is a Hero and Unnatural?”

“..!”

The girl is knew about that but trying not to think about it, almost every Hero seeing Neutral with one eye since they don’t have power, People that can treat neutral kindly like Sirius is pretty rare. Even if her brother allowed to live with her in Reinslan, what kind treatment he will receive there?

“How about if you become my foster daughter?”

When Sirius saw confused face of the girl. He’s trying to take the best method for both of them.

The girl look at Sirius.

“Actually me and my wife don’t have child, I’m sure she will be pleased if you can became our daughter. Don’t worry, She is a good woman, I’m sure she can become a good mother for you”

Sirius say that while smile softly just like a father to his child.

“About your brother, he will stay here in Misas and I make sure he will have everything he need”

“Why did you go that far for us?”

Hikari can’t hide her suspicion.

Sirius is have smile wryly, it can’t be helped if she feel suspicious about it.

“Because you reminded me from my past self”

There’s no lie in that word, Hikari felt so…

“Can you promise?, my brother will be alright here…”

“I swear”

The captain say that promise while look at the girl eyes and place his right hand on his left chest.

“Okay…I will go to with you”

The girl then escorted to the ship that will take her to Reinslen, While still turning back there’s single tear that fall from her beautiful jade green eyes, she say her last farewell to her beloved brother.

“Bye-bye Onii-chan, Please have a happy life”

Part 2

“ugh!”

I awake on the bed in unfamiliar place, every furniture is expensive looking too, this place is so huge very different from our house

“…Did you wake up? Master…”

I look at the source of voice and there’s a girl who standing beside me, she’s wearing maid uniform, she looks around my age with her long black hair around her waist and wearing maid uniform.

“Who?”

I naturally ask that since we don’t have maid, I never see her before and confused about the way she call me.

while bowing her head with dignified manner and expressionless, she look at me with her beautiful silver eyes.

“…Please forgive my late greeting,… My number is 7171… and I am programmed to serve you, Master”

7171? Ah, now I understand when I look at her choker and why she so stiff, she’s a Humanoid that every rich people have. Of course I only heard of it and never see the real one, Hikari always wanted one…

Suddenly I remember

“Hikari!”

I look around but not saw anybody except me and this girl here.

“Where’s Hikari!?”

I asking that question to the humanoid girl with panic tone which I couldn’t hide

“…I instructed if you asking about Hikari-sama I have to show this recording”

She then standing and point her hand while opening her palm to the wall in front of me, Her hand glowing and from the wall I see face of man who I don’t recognize, He looks like guard but with crimson star badge in his chest, I immediately know his rank higher than just a guard.

“I believe when you wake up you will be confused about something, About That place, that humanoid, and…about your little sister.”

Hearing about Hikari, my eyes twitched

“When you wake up, you must be wondering what happened".

This man is feel pretty different from any other people, he should be know I’m just a Neutral but why did he talk to me without looking down at me?

"As you must know, your sister is a Hero, not mention she’s also the owner of white aura …”

(Hikari is the possessor of "Power of Healing"!?)

I so shocked by hearing that, but this man doesn't looks like lying either.

(I see, so that’s why I survive. At that time even though it’s small I hear the sound of bone from my neck break, There’s no way I can survive even with latest medical equipment and excellent doctor, but it’s different story with the power of healing).

I touch my neck that was gripped by that guard.

Usually when parent is Hero, they child will become Hero as well. Both of my parent, Sekizawa Yuuya, and Sekizawa Miyuri. Both of them is a powerful Hero, And the reason why I’m not a Hero even though both of them is Hero, it’s because…

“So I have to take her to Reinslen”

“!”

“Everything in that place is yours, including the Humanoid and all the mo…”

I don’t hear what he say anymore because I already jump from the bed and run straight to exit from this house, luckily the exit door is easily found and I slam the door and get out from this house.

“Huff…huff…huff”

I run, run, and only run, using geography of this town that I carved to my brain I run toward harbor by using the shortest route.
I remember in the last of my parents breath, They ask me to protect Hikari. I promise them that and I swear in my heart I will always beside her,and…here I am, letting them take Hikari.

“Tch, Damn it!”

While gritting my teeth, I run with all my strength. And my body started exhausted, my body is always weak from first place, but I never really care about it since I can always just use my head to solving my problem, And this the first time that I really cursing this weak body.

“I’m too late…”

I arrived at the harbor but I see nothing except the sunset and ships that belong to imperial army, The ship that took Hikari already look so small, My foot lost it’s strength and just like that I sat helplessly.

I see few of crying woman who being comforted by their husband or family, Even though it’s usually rare for Hero couple to give birth to Neutral or Unnatural child but it’s pretty common for Neutral couple to give birth to a Hero child.

“Their child must be taken by them too, Just like how they took Hikari from me…”

BANG!

I punch the floor below me with irritation, it’s hurt but I still can’t calm my anger

“Damn it!, Damn IT!...DAMN IIIIT!

BANG! BANG! BANG!

I keep punching the floor the concrete floor below me, I know this is won’t accomplish anything but I don’t know what I should do anymore.
I feel lots of people looking at me, but they didn’t intend to stop me. They must be realize what kind of feeling I had since their feeling is similar to me right now.
I hate the person who take her away, I hate the King who made that law, I hate the people here who won’t help me when they take Hikari, But more than all…I hate myself who can’t save her even though I already promise to protect her.

While I punching the floor furiously and my hand already bleeding, something fall from my neck. It was a silver pendant, When I saw it, i remember something from my past.

It was one year ago, just before my mother passed away.

“Yami…You really a smart child…No, I think you more than smart, you a Genius…COUGH…COUGH”

When I solved a problem that I found from one of my mother book, I show it to my sick mother who lie down in her bed. She looks very shocked but immediately smiling to me, and praise me with her weak coughing voice

“Kaa-san, please don’t speak too much”

I say that while making worried face, Of course i feel happy when she praise me but I feel more worried about her condition, seeing me like that she only smile more

“My son is able to solve difficult problem, so it’s natural for me to feel proud, right?”

My mother say that while giggling, And then she said to me with tender voice.

“But yami, No matter how genius you are, everything will be useless if you lose yourself”

I tilted my head because I don’t really understand what she meaning, She noticed my confusion and she gently pat my head.

“You are a my genius son, You will understand someday”

She say that while patted my head, I feel very safe while mother doing that, and then she remove her hand from my head

“ Remember Yami, Always think with cool head no matter what situation you in, that will become your strongest weapon”

She remove her pendant, And tie it to my neck

“Even if I’m gone, That’s the only thing you should never forget”

I feel her word is so weak, so weak that make me think she will gone somewhere just like father

“Don’t say that kaa-san, you won’t gone anywhere, you will be cured”

I say that while holding my tear, But she only patted my head said

“Please protect Hikari, Because you are his only brother”

And at that night, She’s gone forever…

“That’s right, I forgot…”

While muttering so, I pick up the pendant and wear it back

“Thanks for make me remember, Kaa-san”

I say that while grasping my mother memento

“I can’t lose to anger, let’s think calmly”

“Huff…Haah”

I take a deep breath to calm myself, and start to think

“They won’t harm Hikari since Hikari have power of healing, even I don’t know what it’s name but every healer is very rare”

Unlike Unnatural who don’t have rank, Hero have something that can determine their level, It was called ‘Art”. Art is a technique that can be used by Hero, The more high rate Art they can use, The more high their level, and the more high their level, the more luxury they got.

"Healer is already categorized as 3rd rank hero at worst".

Every Art have it’s own name, all of it is written in detail to a book called Asgard, When someone created a new Art, it will immediately added to Asgard automatically, Only someone who have title “Saint” permitted to read it. Asgard location is in top “Tower of Heaven” that guarded with strongest security, In “City of Wisdom” Lastava.

The extend of Art power can be deduced by it’s glow, The more high the level the more dazzling it’s glow. For example, A hero who have fire art with red color, if he only level 1, his aura will be so thin that it looks like it don’t have radiance at all, but if his level is high, His aura will be shining brilliance.

The most high rank hero is 1st rank , and only three person who reach that rank so far, One of them is the king of this Sygrine country, Gregrain Astraea.

“She should be alright, They will treat her nicely because she have that power”

I walk silently to the coast and take a deep breath, then…

"HIKARIIII!!!"

I shouted using every breath in my lung, I feel everyone stare at me but I don’t care

“NO MATTER WHERE YOU GO, I WILL DEFINITELY GO TO YOUR SIDE”

so until then

“KEEP WAITING FOR MEEE!”

My voice echoed through ocean, I don’t know if my voice reach her but I definitely save her, if I can’t become a Hero, Then I will become stronger than a Hero. I already promise to Mother that I will protect Hikari, but more importantly I will never let anyone hurt my precious little sister.
I then leave the harbor with determination to become…Stronger than anybody else.

__________________________

The girl is silently watched the ocean from the ship that taken her from her homeland, And suddenly she heard something that should be not possible to be heard in this place, She immediately run.

"Hikari, where are you going?"

Sirius that she Hikari suddenly running. trying to follow her.

"Don't worry, i will come back here later"

By hearing her answer, Sirius stop his feet.

Hikari then run to the back of ship direction.

(It should be impossible, but…)

She know it’s not just her imagination, Because she always watching her brother who always think calm no matter what danger in front of them and always successfully avoid it, she really love her brother who always smile kindly to her and turning the impossible become possible. To her, His brother is her true Hero.

She grab the ship's fence while gazing at her homeland that already look small, With small voice but full of confidence she muttering…

“I believe you, so i will always waiting, Onii-chan”
Chapter 2 :
Spoiler! :
Chapter 2 : Death and Reborn

Part 1

I walk away from the harbor with a new determination to become stronger.

(But, what if they forced her to going into battleground…?)

I shake my head to clear out the pessimistic idea from my brain.

“It’s alright, She just awaken her power. They won’t send a child who know nothing about war right away”.

Also, Sygrine have alliance with two other nation, Lastava and Regu. Even the enemy won’t just carelessly attack us., But for better case, I have to took her back before the war is happen.

I nodded at myself. When I passing market area i saw an ingredient shop...

“Now that I think again, She must be hungry by now…that girl?”

But I don’t know if humanoid can also feel hungry or not.

FLASH

“hm…!?”

When I about to approach ingredient shop, Suddenly I feel there’s something shining on the sky, I look at the light direction. And then there’s something shining there and not just one.

“Black…and white light!”

That black and white clashing at each other, even from here I can feel the pressure.

“I can’t see well from here”

The clashing is happened above the Misas' Forest.

When I arrive at the forest, the two light is still clashing at each other fiercely, The pressure is like pinning my body but I endure it.

“those black and white light exactly above here”

I climb the tallest tree so I can get a better look but the pressure from their clashing is make the time for climbing is longer. My hand and foot is feel heavy but little by little I finally reach the top and there I see the true form of two light...

“That’s…a person, right?”

Even though it’s far, I can at least understand that form, it’s just like human but with wings on their back.

The white light is a blonde haired handsome man with six white wings on his back and wielding a spear that emitting dazzling light and the black light is a man with long black hair, He wielding Twin black sword that emitting pitch black aura, he also have six black wing, their wing shape similar only have difference in color.

“Awesome!...Did they Hero?”

I can only mutter that word while seeing their battle, The black slashing with speed that impossible to see with my eyes and the white skillfully parrying it, I can’t see his weapon at all.

“No, that move is not Hero’s…nor Human’s”

Even the 1st rank Hero can’t move like that, In the first place it should be impossible for human.

“That strength…That speed…also this overpowering Mana…”

Everything about them is insane.

“There’s no way that a human can move like that , there’s no mistaking, they must be…”

It’s impossible for human, but it’s possible if they really what I think they are…

“…Gods or maybe…Demons…?”

God is someone who stand above human race, there’s no one who can oppose them since they have overwhelming power. God and Demon always been enemy ever since ancient time ago. But their Mana is feel similar, those two must be from same place.

(I never heard that god or demon fighting with their own kind)

I just watch them with that question in my head. After few exchange blow they separate around five meter distance and fixed their stance, I can see that they exchanging conversation but I can’t understand the content.

“…”

The sweat is fall from my face, I know this will became the last they crossing sword, the victory will be decided by this strike.

“…..”

Silence fill the area, I can only hear my heartbeat, it looks like the world itself frozen

Drip…drip…drip…

Rain is starting to fall, I don’t even realize when the weather change and how many time already passed. And with thunder that I don’t hear it’s sound anymore become their signal.

The white charged to the black in split second with comet speed and the black slashed at white with light speed before white spear hit his chest.

I watch it without blinking, Or rather, I was lost my ability to blink at that moment.

The black is impaled by white at his left chest and the white is slashed cleanly from his right abdomen to his left chest, when it’s over, the time running again and those two fall from the sky.

In front of me they fallen,…my body jump at them even though right now the tree I’m on have around ten meter's tall.

I can reach both of them, grabbing the white with my right hand and the black with my left hand.

“what am I doing?”

I can only muttered by my own foolishness

“But that battle just now is really awesome, I’m glad I can saw that kind of battle”

(I never see that violent yet elegant battle like that, Even though both of them is fighting seriously with massive killing intent, I can’t feel any hatred from these two.)

While looking at them I think like that., they face is not like someone who after fighting they enemies but they face right now is like a person who sleeping peacefully when they accomplished what they want.

“Is that the battle of the one who have the strength…?”

I decided.

“I also will gain that kind of power! So just wait a little longer…HIKARIIII!!”

With that declaration, I fall to the ground

Part 2

“Oi…wake up, brat”

“Please open your eyes, young child”

In middle of my consciousness I heard two people called me, One with harsh but clear voice, I don’t really hate that kind of tone because it’s just like my father. One with Kind but dignified voice, I never heard a person who talking with that kind of tone before.

“Huaahh…”

With yawn I open my eyes, When I came to, The day already dark, Looks like I sleep pretty long

“What’s wro…?”

I asked to the peoples who trying to wake me but I saw nobody, I wipe my eyes to make sure but there’s no one

“Did it just my imagination?”

While thinking so, I hear that voice again

“Looks like you finally awake, huh”

“you can’t see us, we’re trapped inside your body”

I hear that voice again but still there’s no appearance from the owner of these voice, it’s like they talking straight to my brain like telepathy. The other possibility is I become crazy. I try to calculate some number in my head and fortunately I can think just fine.

“Fuuh…At least I’m still not crazy”

“What are you talking about?”

The clear voice talking again when I doing something stupid.

“Why did you trapped in my body?”

I asking the voices in my head, from other people look I should be look like a crazy that talking alone. Glad there’s no one here. And with impressed voice the harsh one said

“Hoo…you pretty interesting brat, usually normal human will be frightened if they suddenly hearing voices inside his head, but you acted calm”.

“not really, I even think I might be crazy but since I can think just fine so I know at least I not crazy”

I answer honestly

“for a child, you have calm mind. maybe that’s why you can enter our barrier”

That kind voice said something I don’t understand

“what barrier? Or rather are you guys that black and white who fighting before?...Who are you guys”

I said that and asking for their name, since it’s inconvenient to talk to people I don’t know their name

“Black and white? oh, that’s right, it should be looks like that. huh”

“I’m that white light, my name is Metatron, The Head of all the angels, The one who lead the Seraphims”

Answer the person with kind voice

“That black light is me, Thanatos, The strongest and feared god of the death, what’s yours, brat?”

The harsh voice answer too and also asking my name

“I’m Sekizawa Yami, you can just call me Yami”

“Sekizawa Yami? That’s rather unique name”

Metatron say that while Thanatos said

“What do you mean unique? I rather like it”

That’s the first time from outside my family said he’s like my name, since I’m not used someone praised my name so I was little taken aback.

“Well then Yami, I have question”

Metatron asking me while ignoring Thanatos, I think these two not get along well. Well, they just fighting to the death…

“How did you past our barrier?”

That barrier thing again, even I don’t get what he saying

“I don’t see or feel any barrier, what barrier anyway?”

I tell them the truth but those two look shocked. And starting to quarreling.

“Are you sure you don’t mess up when we casting the spell!?”

Thanatos said that to Metatron with insulting voice

“I never mess up when casting spell, are you sure it’s not you who made mistake?”

Metatron also replying to Thanatos but with cold voice

“What did you say?!”

“Are you become deaf because you lost your body?, want me to repeat it?”

“I kill you, old man!”

“Try if you can, I send you to hell personally!!”

Thanatos shouting angrily but Metatron only provoke him more

“SHUT UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUPP”

I shouted at them, if there’s person nearby they gonna think I’m crazy since I suddenly screamed alone

“Can you not fight in my body, my brain gonna explode just by hearing you two”

I tell them that, even though I fascinating by their fight at that time but I never knew they can be so childish, Thanks to that my head is fell like it’s about to burst.

“Sorry to trouble you, Yami”

“You got guts to shout to god, I like that”

Metatron apologize earnestly and somehow Thanatos looks happy.

“Let’s get back to talk, what barrier you two talking about?

“Ehem, Let me explain”

With the cough Metatron starting to talk

“This is actually not the first time we fight, we already fight countless time from long time ago but always ended in draw. Since we always fight in open area, the human who watch us fight starting to worried that they will caught in our crossfire. They praying to Zeus to do something about it, and Zeus who heard the prayers order us to not fight anymore but we already destined as rival so it’s impossible for us not to fight.”

I listening silently, then Thanatos also talking as a follow

“We though we would be punished, But fortunately, the old man (Zeus) also understand our circumstances. He teach us a spell, “Phantasm Sphere” that can make us fight freely by creating another dimension, no matter how much the destruction happen, it will be return to normal after the spell is released.”
While listening I starting to understand why despite the fight is so intense with explosion here and there but there’s not even a scratch on the forest, it was because that spell.

“But why it’s not also have effect on human, it should be more convenient if human can’t see you two fighting?”

I ask them the question that float first in my head

“it should have effect on human as well, they will getaway from the barrier without they know, That’s why I ask you how did you come inside the barrier”

Metatron said that while his voice become serious.

And suddenly Thanatos voice also become serious.

“Brat, i always wondering about this"

"what?"

"I never feel a kind of Mana like yours before, Not even in Human realm, God realm, or Demon realm.Are you really…a Human?

“What are you saying!?, Of course I’m human!”

True, I almost die today, but I saved by Hikari's power.

“Look, I’m breathing also my heart too…”

While saying that I reach my left chest, but…

“None…”

““None…What?””

They asking me in unison

“I can’t hear nor feel it, my…Heartbeat”

I feel my time stopped, I certainly hear it back then when Metatron and Thanatos make their stance for final blow, but why now…

“By the way…brat, why did you passed out back then?

“Eh?”

Thanatos word awake me from my daydreaming.

“After you two struck each other down, you fallen in front the tree I climb and without me knowing why…”

I stopped in middle of my silence because I feel if I continue I can’t go back anymore

“Without me knowing…”

Metatron say that so I continue

“I jump to reach you two”

“From which tree did you fallen?”

Without answering Metatron question I pointed at tree house with height about ten meter.

Sensing my condition Metatron not saying anything, but Thanatos said it straight out

“Even an adult can’t survive after falling from that height, Let alone a kid like you”

“Thanatos!”

“What?, he will realize it sooner or later”

Despite being by shouted Metatron, Thanatos answer it so casually, Metatron who choose silence to make me not panic and Thanatos who so frank that make me realize it.

“Then, what am i?”
“Don’t tell me!”

“It can’t be…”

Both Metatron and Thanatos looks like they know something

“What is it?, if you know something, tell me”

“…”

“Today, Did you experience death before coming here?”

“…what do you mean?”

I don’t understand the meaning behind thanatos’ word.

“You can ask later but for now, answer my question first”

Even though I don’t understand, I know he’s serious.

“I don’t know if it’s that ‘Death” you talking about, but certainly that I almost die today”

While answering that I remember the event at that time where the Guard choke me.

“…..”

After short silence Metatron asking

“Yami, how’s your body condition?”

“I though I already tell you, I can’t feel my heartbeat anymore…”

“That’s not it, I mean did you feel there’s something different to your body? Like your body suddenly lose it’s burden”

Since I too shocked I don’t realize it

“you right, it’s become more light and it’s like it’s not have any burden”

“Jump!”

“Eh?”

The one who told me to jump is none other than Thanatos

“Why?”

I asking that natural question but he just answer it with somewhat excited voice

“Just do it, That will answer our question"

Still not understand, I jump lightly and the next things I see is…

“WHY THERE’S CLOUD HERE!!?”

When I look my surrounding there’s only cloud anywhere and the tree house that always so high, it looks so small even I can’t really see it well below me.

“IF I FALL FROM HERE I DEFINITELY DIE, MY BODY WILL GET SMASHED TO THE GROUND”

Sorry mother, as expected I can’t stay calm in this situation. When I think I doomed, I hear voices inside my head.

“You won’t Die”

Metatron declared it with confident voice

“Ha…ha…ha, I never expected to meet one”

Thanatos laughing happily

While I fall from height with (I think) over ten thousand meter, I ask them

“WHAT YOU NOT EXPECTED TO MEET?”

With a shouted unison they answer me

“IMMORTAL!”

Part 3

BRAKKKK!!

With loud noise I fall to the ground, It’s hurt like hell…or so I though.

“It’s not that hurt …”

I can’t help but muttering with amazement, I confirm that all my body piece still there. it’s certainly hurt, but the pain is just like when I fall when my legs tripped.

“That’s natural, because right now your body is stronger than human…no, I think it’s even stronger than us…God”

Metatron declared something unbelievable with confident tone.

“What do you mean by that?”

I ask him after I calm myself from that amazing experience.

“Brat, Did you know about Immortal?”

Instead an answer from Metatron, I got a question from Thanatos.

“There’s no one who don’t know about it, it’s a famous fairy tale”

Fairy tale about Immortal is widely known, My mother always telling me the story about Immortal.

“What if I say it’s not just a fairy tale?”

“Eh?”

I can only voice my confusion, but somehow I think I know where this talk is going to…

“Yami, I can guarantee it that…”

Before Metatron can finish, his word is cut by Thanatos…

“You’re an Immortal”

“WHAT?”

I can’t help but shout.

“Impossible, There’s no way someone as weak as me is an Immortal”

From the fairy tale I heard, Immortal is the existence who’s even superior than god.

“But that’s just when you still a human, Right?”

“Eh?, What do you mean?”

Answering my confusion Metatron and Thanatos said.

“When the heart is still beating, An Immortal is more weak than a normal human”

“But, The moment when the heart stopped beating, An Immortal will be released from any restriction and He will be granted a Tremendous power that can’t even compare to the human who so-called Hero or God or Demon”

“…”

Certainly, My body is always weak, I can’t even lift something that Hikari can lift. I’m so frustrated by that and I start to train my body, but it’s no use, or rather it just make me exhausted and fall sick.

“Then, Did that mean I’m already dead…?”

“As a human you already dead, but as an Immortal you just born”

Metatron answered my self question, and Thanatos asking me serious tone that I never heard before.

“Born?”

“Human is the only existence that can evolved to Immortal”

“They will awaken as an Immortal if they clear three condition”

Metatron and Thanatos starting to explain.

“First, He must born with “Essence”. Essence is something like Authority, for example when king and queen give birth to a child, that child is most likely will become the king, right?”

I nod, Then Metatron continue.

“Second, He must awaken that Essence before he reach age 10. If he can’t , The Essence will fade and the gone. If that happen, No matter what he do, He will never become Immortal forever.

I see, something like time limit.

“And then the last…”

Now, it’s Thanatos who explaining.

“To awaken the Essence, He must experience “Death” twice within the same day.”

So this is what Thanatos mean a while ago.

“The first “Death” isn’t actual “Death” but It’s close. Basically, You in position where you absolutely gonna Die but you survive…”

My first “Death”, When I choke by Guard and then Hikari save me with her power of healing…

“After you survive the First “Death”, The essence will take a form within your body but it can only last for 24 hours”.

“And then, on your second “Death”, The essense will take over your human body and tie itself to your soul. At that time your human body is replaced by essence and Born as an Immortal”

I listening intently so I not miss a single word, I was astonished because I never even dream that I will become the Immortal that I though only fairytale. but…

"I'm an Immortal..."

I look at my hand, Is this hand and my body is not human anymore. i can't say i 'm not shaken, But...If I have this power, I can definitely save Hikari. I don’t want to feel that feeling again when I can’t protect which I have to protect the most.

“What are you going to do from now on?”

Metatron ask me to test my resolve, And my answer is already decided.

“I have a promise that I must accomplish, and for that I need power, If I can attain it by discarding my humanity, I will gladly do it”

I say that while clenching my fist, then I hear laughter from both of them.

“You really an interesting child after all, usually even adult will be taken aback if they hear they already dead”

“That’s right, That word is what someone who have power must say, Accept it not get afraid by it, I like it, Brat”

I don’t know why they happy, but I’m glad they pleased with my answer.

“Then, it might be not so boring to have stick with him”

“You’re right, it’s rare for us to have same opinion”

There’s something bothering me about their word just now.

“Why you have to stick along with me? Don’t you need to return to heaven?”

It’s should be forbidden for a god to leave from heaven without permission except if there’s emergency situation.

"“We can’t do that”"

Both of them answer me in unison so nonchalantly just like it's someone else problem

"huh?"

“There’s powerful barrier that prevent us from leaving your body”

“WHAT?, Then, are we gonna stick together for a long time? What about your permission?”

I ask them frantically, Living with two god who always insulting at each other inside my body is something that I can’t imagine. It sound troublesome.

“If we told them that we trapped inside an Immortal body, I think they will understand, An Immortal is really rare after all, The last Immortal is sighted over ten thousands year ago but she immediately disappear before the gods is able to meet her”

Hearing from Metatron, It can’t be helped if Immortal is treated as a fairy tale since it’s come from ten thousand years ago.

“Just accept it, Brat, We can keep you company for a looong time so you won’t get lonely”

“Haah”

I sighed at Thanatos word, he’s right though.

“Well, If I can’t die then that’s really lonely thing”

Immortal can’t die, Everyone is will die someday and I can only watch it, Include Hikari. But I can’t get depressed by it, Even if I have to separate from Hikari someday, I will make sure we get separated with a smile. And maybe I can meet another Immortal who still a human right now or already accept it like me but hiding it.

Then, there’s light hitting my eyes, I covering my eyes while saw the source.

“Ah, That’s right…”

When I saw the sunrise, I suddenly I remembered something.

“What’s wrong?”

Metatron asking me.

“I just remember, Today is my birthday”

Today is 1st January, The mass exam is happened one day before the end of the year, That’s why Hikari not feel suspicious when i take my exam at the same year as her who born at 10 November.

“Is that so? Happy birthday, Yami”

“Happy birthday, but I don’t think it’s really important since from now on you have infinite time”

They both congratulate me while Thanatos added something extra.

“Thanks, both of you, But I think I will remember this day forever, After all my eight birthday is very special to me”

before this day, my sister got taken away from me...

In this day, I meet two of my lifelong partner...

In this day, I dead as a human...

And in this day, I reborn as an…IMMORTAL.

____________________________________


Yami don’t realize there’s small light glowing from his body.

While watching Yami back, Metatron and Thanatos muttering gladly.

“...On the next twilight after Immortal is born, He will receive a certain crest on his body”

OZ-ZERO….The mark of the strongest…”
That's all for now, i waiting for your honest opinion. (Be it praise or criticism) :)
Last edited by raitouazura on Fri May 10, 2013 4:05 pm, edited 2 times in total.
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Ghosty
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Re: Original Light novel (Immortal's Art) <<chapter 2 update

Post by Ghosty »

It looks interesting, at least I would like to read more of it. There are certain parts that could be improved but I'm not gonna comment on it since I don't know enough about this world. There were some grammar errors but I don't really mind about them. Anyway keep working on it and you can refine it later.
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raitouazura
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Joined: Wed Mar 27, 2013 7:44 pm
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Re: Original Light novel (Immortal's Art) <<chapter 2 update

Post by raitouazura »

Ghosty wrote:It looks interesting, at least I would like to read more of it. There are certain parts that could be improved but I'm not gonna comment on it since I don't know enough about this world. There were some grammar errors but I don't really mind about them. Anyway keep working on it and you can refine it later.
Thanks for reading! :D by all means if you find something that need to fix please notify me.

Btw, the chapter 3 is on different topic because of letter limit.
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Misogi
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Re: Original Light novel (Immortal's Art) <<chapter 2 update

Post by Misogi »

Actually, it was only the post that broke the letter limit. You could've posted your chapter in 2 parts, instead of creating a new thread.
Twitter : @MisogID
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raitouazura
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Re: Original Light novel (Immortal's Art) <<chapter 2 update

Post by raitouazura »

Misogi wrote:Actually, it was only the post that broke the letter limit. You could've posted your chapter in 2 parts, instead of creating a new thread.
I see, i don't know that. Thanks for the info :D from now on i will post on that chapter 3 thread.
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Calculatrix
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Re: Original Light novel (Immortal's Art) <<chapter 2 update

Post by Calculatrix »

I'm liking the story but...is English your first language or no? It doesn't seem like it is. I noticed a lot of incorrect wording and sometimes grammar. I really am liking the story, but the incorrect wording and stuff kind of turns me off. Sometimes I have to re-read a sentence 2-3 times until I'm able to understand what was trying to be said.

It would be a great help if you could go back and correct all of them, but I know how much of a hassle that would be. Even I probably wouldn't do it. However, I still think it would be a lot better if you did. It's annoying to read something that has a good story like this when the wording of the sentences and sometimes grammar isn't correct.
Author of "Weaver of Chaos" and "Code : Reality"
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