This title is too long!:Volume2 Chapter6

Chapter 6 - May 15, I was strangled by Her

I'm a High School Boy and a Bestselling Light Novel author, strangled by my female classmate who is my junior and a voice actress.

This is my current predicament.

I don't feel pain or unbearable, but I'm about to die.

"Save!"

The one yelling that was not me, but Nitadori, strangling me by the neck. This line is terse, yet it sounded so slow and long to me.

However, I can't comprehend what she meant at all.

It was probably 5 seconds since the moment when she choked me. And then, in another 2 seconds, I probably won't be able to think of anything else.

I think the ghost lights are just a self-defense system in the brain now? It probably can help me look for clues in my past experiences to save me, I guess.

I can clearly remember what Nitadori said, but I had no idea.

Anyway, why did Nitadori want to kill me?

I did not know.

I didn't know the reason.

 

Thursday, May 15th.

Time flew by fast, and it has been more than a month since the After Records and the new Semester started.

I was riding that usual Limited Express train, seated at my old seat, the left side seat on the last row in the free seating carriage.

The sky at home is really bright, but the weather report stated that it would be raining in Tokyo, so I had a foldable umbrella in the side pocket of my backpack.

The train departed on time.

After sitting on the same train ride for more than a month, I realized very well that the day got longer. When I stood on the platform on this day, I felt that the sun was rather high up.

There were 13 After Records in all, so tomorrow, it will be the 7th, halfway through.

During the first session, I probably did see Nitadori in the recording room, but I couldn't remember.

During the second session, I met Nitadori on this train for the first time.

From the third to sixth session, we went to Tokyo together for 4 consecutive trips, and I answered a lot of questions.

They included everything, from the delusions I had since young, till the intention I had to write novels.

The struggles before submitting the work to Dengeki Bunko.

The method of writing novels.

Publishing fees and taxes.

So, what will she be asking about today?

I guess I can say everything I can talk about now, right

Thinking about this, I continued to space out, and then, I saw swaying black hair.

 

"Hello, sensei, doing well?"

"I'm fine, thanks. What about you?"

"I'm fine too, thanks."

First, we started off with a conversation even an elementary school kid can translate into English.

"For you, enjoy."

Nitadori, who handed me the shopping bag, is not wearing a skirt, but jeans this time, with a green military jacket and a blue sweater.

Nitadori placed the bag behind her, and placed her jacket on it. Then, she ties her usual long her carefully behind her, letting the hair drape down her right shoulder to her chest before sitting down.

I accept the convenience store bag.

"I'm tucking in. Thanks."

With a rippling sound, I take out the sea salt flavored potato chips and the bottle of tea.

"Thinking about it, I'm seeing your back every day at school, so I know you're pretty lively. I'll probably be seeing the blackboard a little better if you're lethargic."

"I guess."

Nitadori's always sitting behind me every day during class. No matter whether it's the classroom, or anywhere in school, we'll definitely not talk to each other.

There are times when I pass by Nitadori on the corridor, but even after finding her, I won't talk to her.

Thinking about it, I do find this kind of relationship very strange. While I'm thinking about that, Nitadori said the same thing as she sat beside me.

"It's strange...we're seated in front and behind each other, so close together. During the After Record, there's a thick soundproof glass between us, and right now, we're côte à côte..."

She seemed to be rather incredulous too.

And it's a mystery as to why she wouldn't use the common term 'side by side' instead.

The train continues to move forward.

While I'm still chomping on the potato chips, the train conductor arrived early to check the tickets.

The conductor today is the woman I met several times before. She probably has an impression on us taking these sets every Thursday.

After checking the tickets, Miss Conductor proceeded to leave.

"You two are always together--what kind of relationship do you have?"

Miss Conductor never asked such questions. I wonder what should I do if she was to ask, but a conductor wouldn't ask anything regarding a passenger's privacy."

"Now then…"

And then, as before, Nitadori's questioning time was about to begin--

Or so I thought, but I was still hungry, so Nitadori started talking about some harmless weather issues.

According to the weather report, she said, Tokyo's weather was bad, and that when heading to the recording studio the next day, I should be careful not to fall down.

"Erm...can't I skip it?"

I asked as I rolled up the bag of potato chips.

"We're not going to school!"

Nitadori chuckled heartily.

Of course, both of us were merely joking. After Records was not fun and games. We were not having lessons at school, but doing work. We cannot skip work without unless it is a valid reason (some will ask if skipping classes is okay).

In the past, whenever a voice actor isn't around due to illness, the others would act it out and assume he was around. I do find such a scene really intriguing, I do find that it's not conducive.

And during the next week, the voice actor on leave would act alone with a pre-recording.

I do find it tough, and at the same time, I'm moved by their outstanding acting.

 

"Now then, I'll be using this notebook today."

Nitadori's holding the notebook that appeared last week.

I remember what I last talked about last week being about income and taxes. Nitadori didn't open her notebook at all during then.

"You got a lot of questions to ask, I guess?"

I asked.

"Yep. About a certain theme, or I'll say, all kinds of questions. If you want to explain more however, sensei, please go ahead. Also, please forgive me if a question offends you in any way. If it's a question you can't answer due to your work, please tell me straight away 'you shouldn't be asking this question'."

"Got it."

"Now then--"

This time, Nitadori actually opened the notebook.

However, she cautiously made sure not to let me see the words on it, pointing her finger on the pages.

"Erm…"

Does she really need to worry about having so many questions?

I was starting to worry what would have happened if I was to reject the first question? Would it ruin Nitadori's mood? Or would it cause the opposite effect and guilt trip her such that she will shrink back?

What exactly is the problem Nitadori is referring to--

"Erm, this--when publishing a book, you'll sign a contract with the publisher, right? If you have to do so, how will you do it?"

"Phew."

"Why are you relieved?"

"No, well, I'm wondering what should I do if I can't answer the question."

"Ahaha. I guess this question is fine, right?"

"No problems."

"The answer is?"

"Yes."

 

For my situation--I'll sign a 'publishing contract'.

There is a kind of publishing where 4 pieces of A4 size printed paper are stapled on the left side. Of course, this is the style Dengeki Bunko goes with. I don't know what style does the other companies or editorial branches go by.

I showed her a copy of the contract, saying,

"There are all kinds of clauses on it...I did spend all my effort to read them, barely, though I can no longer remember the specifics.--"

I did say during the previous week that 'the first 50 copies printed would be used for promotion, so it is not counted as publishing fee'. This clause itself is clearly written in the contract.

Interestingly, the contract also stated 'when the author buys a book, he gets to enjoy a 20% discount privilege'. Whenever a work was published, I would receive 10 copies, and for every reprint, I would receive another, so I did not use this clause to buy a book.

"Also, you need to fill in your address and name on the actual contract. In this situation, you need to write your actual name, put a stamp on it, and the contract is complete. Of course, the company's name and stamp are on it before then."

The contract included my work of the same series title, so I only did sign one contract.

Before 'Vice Versa' was published, I stamped at the editorial branch. There were 2 copies of the contract, and one of them is left for me to keep.

"I see...the publisher is very thorough in what they do."

Nitadori said, sounding impressed. Thus, I feel that I have to say something.

"Yeah. Also--nobody did sign a contract."

"What?"

"I did sign a contract before I published my work, but--"

 

It was something a senior of mine told me at the end of year party.

We were chatting on this back then, and once I said that I signed a contract before I published my book, that person simply told me.

"Ah, I did sign a contract for my debut work at this time too."

"Eh?"

The reason why I was shocked was that this person had been writing under the Dengeki Bunko brand for a few years.

He had been publishing books for more than 10 years, and that work had been adapted into an anime.

"Eh? In that case, erm...what did that author do over the past 10 years?"

Nitadori asked a sensible question.

"I asked a similar question."

"And then."

"He answered, 'oh, it's always been a verbal agreement'."

"..."

It's no wonder that Nitadori's stunned.

To be honest, I was stunned too, so shocked myself.

It's fine that there's no problems if the money was sent to me, but I really was shocked by such a strange thing done by the publisher since I assumed I had to sign a contract.

There's more to this.

After hearing our conversation, another senior near me agreed, saying,

"Ah, now that you mentioned it, I just signed it recently. I didn't know anything about a publishing contract before this."

And then, another senior author refuted,

"No, wait. I signed it before I debuted though?"

"Me too…"

In other words, there are those who 'signed before they debuted', and 'those that didn't get to sign'. Right when I was wondering why that was the case...I knew my answer.

Those that won prizes with Dengeki Bunko would have signed contracts.

Those that debuted without signing contracts were the ones who did not win prizes, and were nominated instead.

But anyway, since I did sign, I suppose everyone else would have signed as well.

"That's how it goes, I think."

I answered the first question, but I don't know if that is good enough for her reference.

"Now then, the next question is--"

Nitadori opened her notebook.

"What does an author 'confidentiality' include? Voice actors can't reveal things like the work, script and so on, so I guess authors are the same in this sense?"

"Hm."

Luckily, it's another question I can answer.

Perhaps Nitadori chose the easiest questions for me to answer.

Confidentiality--

Strictly put, it seems to refer to 'legal obligation', so I didn't know if there's such a law in the world of authorship.

I'll treat this term as 'until the work is officially published, nobody can reveal what they knower in work to those not involved'.

"The easiest way to understand this is the release date. For example, even when Dengeki Bunko decides on a publication date, nobody can talk about it until the official release. Dengeki Bunko's mail magazine will be the earliest to release the news, about 2 months before the official release date. There are some exceptions though, like an event announcement."

"Then, if you announce on your blog or twitter before then--"

"Of course not."

"Anything else?"

"Like events, signing meets information...ah, and there's something more important."

"What is it?"

"News like an anime or a cross-media work, especially the animation of the work. Most of the announcements will be made at such events, so there is a need for secrecy until then no matter what."

For myself, I had been handling the news of 'Vice Versa' getting animated cautiously. This is because the staff numbers and money involved in such a large planning is much more than the sales of the light novels. If I did not take leave from school, I suppose I would be terrified of letting slip of the news, to a point where I won't tell my mum either.

"I see...so it's kind of similar to being a voice actor too."

Nitadori said, but I feel that voice actors would always have it tougher than authors.

Once they hear the news for auditioning, they would know that the work was to be animated. They would know of it earlier, and also, there isn't just one work for them. Of course, they can't leak the news, so they'll be very cautious to avoid news of it leaking.

Leaving that aside, I continued,

"If I know of another person's information, I can't talk about it either. During the end-of-year party last year, I learned of some things when I was chatting with the senior authors...it's said that those authors with good contacts will know that a certain person's work is going to be animated."

"I see...they're of the same line of work after all."

"No matter whether it's news about others or oneself, we have to deal with it using the usual attitude. Leaving aside my own news, I can't leak anything about the plot of another author's latest volume."

This is also what I heard--

It's said that in the past, the author or illustrator could go to the editorial branch and obtain a new book from Dengeki Bunko before the official release.

The books are released on the 10th every month, but they would be sent to the editorial branch at the end of the previous month. The editorial branch will give 10 copies to the author. It depends on the holiday dates, but they typically send it out on the 29th or the 30th.

So during this time, from the beginning of the month to the 10th, one can see stacks of new books in the editorial branch. Anyone that shows up early for a meeting can pick it up to read.

In the past, as long as anyone requested for it, he can take the book back (it's not considered part of publishing fees, so it's kind of inconvenient for the author). We can't take them now though, as it's a measure to prevent the plot from being leaked.

 

"Personal information is like work information; there's a need to keep it a secret."

I added on.

"Amongst the authors I met at the end-of-year meetings, there's someone who completely hid his identity. There's one who openly revealed his personal information, but never revealed a photo of himself."

"Oh, they're just like you, sensei."

"They're like me. Thus, I have to use the information of others as my own and be thoroughly careful with it. I don't have much chance to reveal about myself, so I'm having it easy."

"You don't manage a blog, Facebook, Twitter or anything like that after all."

I nodded.

I couldn't possibly do such things when I have to keep my identity a secret. No, some people might be able to handle this well, but I can't. I'll definitely mess up somewhere.

Thinking about this, I asked Nitadori about something I was really curious about.

"Speaking of which...Nitadori, do you write a blog or something?"

"Ah, erm...I guess..."

Nitadori seemed a little off from her usual, stammering away.

"I did...think that I should open a blog. Especially since I'm taking the role of a named character for the first time."

"But you haven't?"

"Hm, well...I'm a little scared. But not that I'm scared of writing…it's that I'm scared of those hateful comments."

"Ah, I see."

I understood that feeling very well.

The internet is filled with kind and hateful comments.

And also, the hateful comments are the ones more likely to leave an impression.

"Sensei, will you actually care about the thoughts and ratings on the internet? --Actually, this is something I really want to ask."

"Yes, and no."

"In what sense?"

 

There isn't really any author who doesn't care about the readers' thoughts.

If there is, that person's rather strong.

Including me, authors with published works will care about the thoughts and criticism, very concerned with them, in fact. (Of course, they'll care about their sales volumes.)

In the past, feedback was practically through letters from the readers. Once the works are published, the readers will write to the authors and tell them how they feel.

Thanks to the internet, we're able to know about their thoughts faster than before.

I feel that with the internet community, from anonymous imageboards, personal blogs to Twitter, facebook and other prominent social websites, I'm able to know of the readers' thoughts on the day the books are released.

However, there are good and bad to this.

I never told Nitadori about this. The editorial branch will filter the reader letters, and those slandering letters that would affect an author's confidence will not be sent to the author.

It's different on the internet.

As long as an author looks for it, he'll be able to find unfiltered, belittling remarks.

"Sensei, have you looked at the thoughts regarding your own works?"

The answer is yes. Yeah, I answered briefly.

"Amongst all the works that were released till this point...has anyone said anything bad about your works?"

"Of course. I guess."

Huh? Nitdadori muttered as she tilted her head.

"'I guess'...what do you mean?"

I answered.

"I chose to forget about it."

 

As for who taught me this--

To be honest, I forgot.

Was this something I thought of? Or was it what the editor-in-charge or other editors taught me? Was it a suggestion from another author I met somewhere? Or did I learn it from a book.

But when I looked at the reviews on the internet, surely I would do this.

This was the Just read the good comments, forget the bad ones."

Method.

"So basically...how do you go about doing this?"

Nitadori asked as she brought her face closer.

I answered as I looked aside.

"It's not that hard. First--"

I read all the comments I found on the internet until the very end.

There is kindness on the internet.

No, I feel that there's a lot more cases of kindness compared to malice. This is what I think.

If I look for it, I can find,

"It's interesting."

"Looks fun."

"I want to continue reading."

"The characters are really amazing.."

And so on. These are the kind of comments that praise the work, 'nice work'.

And I'll earnestly accept such praises.

While looking, I would express my thanks, and use this praise as motivation.

Also, I would remember the title of that site.

 

If however,

"What's this? It's so boring."

"Refund me."

"Terrible novel."

Such criticism is written--

If I'm to read such thoughts--

"What will you do?"

"I'll go back immediately."

"Back? Where?"

"To the site praising me."

"Ah!"

Whenever I read the feedback on the internet, I'll always read the ones praising my work.

I'll use that moment to forget all about the comments that belittle and slander my work. I'll alway have the thought that someone is willing to praise my work, and end my collection of feedback.

Even if there are those who feel that I'm despicable, I don't intend to give up on this method.

"I see…"

"I did read this line in a book 'someone may belittle a work, but the author should never apologize'."

"Oh?"

"And on the other hand, I have to say without a care 'it is a pity that it doesn't fit your tastes'. When I first read these words, I really couldn't understand, until I became an author...where I really understood this thinking."

"In other words--"

Nitadori gave me a serious look as she told me,

"You cooked up a 'delicious meal', so you don't have to care about those who didn't like it?"

I nodded firmly.

"Right. That's because I had no choice other than to do that. When I write my work, I find it interesting. I don't intend to submit a meaningless work to the editor-in-charge. Also, I'll listen to the editor-in-charge, and edit the work to make it more interesting."

"Yeah."

"That's how a work is born...so no matter what kind of comments there are, I can't do anything about it. If everyone praises it and say that 'it's nice', I'll be happy. However, I know that things aren't going to be like that. I strongly believe that I can't ignore the thoughts of my supporters just because of the negative criticism. Thus, I won't care about it."

Of course, I do believe that there is 'harsh criticism born out of kindness'.

Like for example 'It'll be better if this part is changed like this'. 'This part isn't well written. Better to rewrite it'. I do feel a few times that 'yeah, this guy's right'.

But even so--

An author can't let himself be dragged along by the views of an outsider.

No matter what anyone else says (except for the editor-in-charge), I'll write based on my own thoughts.

If it sells well, it'll be my victory along with the editor-in-charge, and we'll work hard to create the next work.

If it doesn't sell well, it means that we lost. I'll work hard to make sure the next work sells.

"When seeing and hearing reviews about my work--I always think of the Aesop of 'The Miller, the Boy and the Donkey'."

When was the first time I read that story?

I couldn't recall when it was, but I probably won't ever forget about this in my entire life.

"Erm...what kind of a story is it? I think I heard of it somewhere."

Nitadori asked.

"Well, one day, a Miller and his son went out to sell a donkey--"

There was a passer-by who told them, wouldn't it be easier to ride on a donkey? So the Miller let his son sit on the donkey.

Another person they met then said, the son shouldn't relax, the father should ride on it. So, the father got the son off, and rode on the donkey instead.

And then, they met someone else, who said that the duo could ride. So, they did.

Then, they met another person, who told them the donkey was pitiful to have two people riding on it.

"Ah! Now I remember!-- They then carried the donkey to ease its burden, so they carried it. But the donkey started moving and fell into the river. That's how the story ends, right?"

"Yep yep."

"So it's an Aesop...I didn't know. This story is saying that without any objective viewpoint, you'll be toyed around by everyone, and end up with misfortune, right?"

"Yeah. Also, an author's predicament can be summarized as this story...there's no novel that can satisfy every reader, so as long as someone praises it, the author will stick to the formula--that's a lesson I can go with."

I saw this story somewhere before.

Whenever an author writes, there's a need for something, something other than a computer, pen and research materials.

That's 'self-confidence'.

The self-confidence to believe that I can write.

The self-confidence to believe that I can write interesting novels.

Thus, I'll borrow the power of my supporters.

In other words, I don't need the power of those who don't support me

"The saying goes that humans will improve as long as they're praised. This definitely goes too for authors."

"Not that 'authors are humans too'?"

"Ah...yeah, that too."

 

"I did think of how blessed I am as an author."

I suddenly mentioned something Nitadori never asked about.

And having said that, I thought she would be stunned.

"Well...why's that?"

But Nitadori asked. I answered,

"That's because when I write, I'm able to begin writing, and in writing, i can write novels. I don't have to think of myself as an author, but I was happy to learn that I was able to debut, happy that I was able to get a reprint. Once the work started to sell, and the editor-in-charge told me to write continuations, I was happy. The animation of the story also made me happy."

"...Sensei, looking at you, I understand very well that it's your real emotion, not faked, right?"

"Erm, yeah."

I had no acting skills.

"So tell me--sensei, do you think you're special in any sense?"

Unlike before, it was a sharp, piercing question.

I shook my head.

"No, I think I'm someone with a lot of experience, a rare thing in that."

"Then what kind of person do you think is special?"

"I don't know."

"..."

"I don't think such a person exists, right? Ah, if you say that there's a 'very special' person to anyone, I do know about that, like a lover, a family member, and something like that. In other words--"

Nitadori's giving me an intense stare. She looked serious, but it's a little different from the look she showed during the After Record. Then, she continued to ask, seemingly interrupting me,

"It goes by what that person think, is it?"

Overwhelmed by the pressure,

"Sorta...I guess."

I timidly answered.

 

I looked over at the flowing scenery outside the window, drinking my tea--

I felt that we were going off-topic. What was the question we were talking about anyway?

I wondered.

I capped the plastic bottle as I turned my head to the right, and found Nitadori pondering with a very serious look on her face.

I was worried if I did say something wrong, but in any case, I can't take back what I said. Even if she does ask a similar question again, that's the only way I can answer.

Nitadori turned her face towards me.

She gave a tender look, but the glare behind the glasses was sharp.

"For an author, for every sensei who made their debut till this point, have you encountered any difficulty?"

 

"Difficulty…"

I heard this question, and muttered to myself as I pondered. I had to think of it separately.

"I guess 'difficulties an author would face' is different from 'difficulties I encountered after becoming an author'."

"Then, sensei, please answer according to your decision."

"In that case...I'll first start with difficulties I encountered…"

"Right."

If it's this question, I'm confident enought to conclude.

I answer briefly, without any concern,

"None."

 

"Huh?"

"I didn't really have any particular difficulty."

"Erm...is that true?"

"Erm, well, I did say that I'm a fortunate author. Even if I have to mention any issues I faced, I can't think of any."

"..."

Nitadori remained silent, looking stunned.

"I'm really unfortunate to meet such a frivolous guy. Anyone would have met one or two difficulties at least. Hardships allow a person to grow. You won't grow if you don't face any."

I really hoped that she wouldn't have such thoughts.

But even so, I didn't have any. I got nothing.

"The biggest difficulty I had till this point was in Middle School, the tough process I had until I was able to write. I mentioned it before, and that was before I became an author. I did say that I never had a situation an author fears most, that 'the story isn't used at all'...and I did say that I restrain myself to ignore the harsh reviews on the internet...the volumes I had are selling well...and they're getting adapted into an anime…"

Maybe there are things I can find tough to deal with in such trivial stuff.

For example, like I was harassed by a mean-spirited drunkard on my way to the hotel, or that I spent some time last year focusing on writing novels, and I end up having hip pains at such a young age, and so on.

Even if I wasn't an author, I would be harassed by a drunkard. It'll be another story altogether if there's a special drunkard who specialized in harassing authors (looks like such a story is interesting too).

I adjusted by sitting posture to adapt to the waist pains, and did some sports as well. On mom's recommendation, I went for acupuncture, and for the time being, it's cured.

Thinking about it, I guess there's none.

"E-erm...what kind of difficulties do you think an author would have?"

Nitadori narrowed the focus of her question. This question is within my expectations however.

 

The biggest issue an author would face--

That would be, if I can't write, or that I don't want to write, my life as an author would die.

Without a job, I wouldn't have income, unable to maintain my lifestyle. It's common for an author to lose his job no matter what.

Authors are irreplaceable. Even if there are few exceptions, the works of that author is such that he's the only one capable of writing it.

This was something I saw in a certain essay, and I could already understand that feeling.

"Is that so...it's not strange to be out of a job at any given moment...I guess voice actors are the same in this sense. They're scared because 'there are as many as they want when it comes to replacing them'."

Nitadori lamented.

I once heard that there are many who aimed to be voice actors, and that it's difficult to actually debut, or break from the intense competition.

Compared to the authors who were able to survive, which one is harder?

I don't know, and of course, Nitadori doesn't. I guess nobody knows.

"So you came to high school to study because of this reason, sensei?"

I nodded.

Of course, this was partly due to the objection I had from the people around me, but in the end, I decided to go along with my will. I did once think that 'I might as well not study', but now, I felt great that I didn't give up on my studies.

'Vice Versa' is selling very well now, and I can continue to write, but I don't know when will it stop being a bestseller. Also, I don't know when I won't be able to write.

In that case, I don't think an experience of 'I wrote novels in my teens, and my work was adapted into an anime' would come in handy.

In comparison, I guess scholastic experience of graduating from high school and college, together with what I learned in school would probably be more useful.

Both looked similar, but in fact, they're different. The 'academic history' and 'life experience as a student' is different. If I could only choose one, it'd be the latter, but I wanted both.

"After graduating from high school, I want to study in college, and at the same time, continue writing...finally, I'll choose to work, try looking for other work."

"Then, assuming that your works become more popular, and you write a lot of them, and for example, you earn a few billion Yen, equivalent to the career earnings of a working adult...will you give up on writing?"

"If that...ends up being the case...I guess I won't be able to give up on writing. I'll be relieved that I won't have to worry about my life expenses, able to write the novels I like, so I'll feel really happy, just like I am now."

"I see."

Was it just me? Nitadori looked relieved when she answered. I really couldn't understand what others are thinking.

"I feel that it'll be an idealistic lifestyle for me to be able to live out my life just by writing--nobody knows what is in store in the future. I feel that I have to first seriously consider the situation when I can't write, or don't feel like writing. Because of this, I need to do what I can do right now, and I guess that will be writing and studying."

"I guess--I'll probably do that too."

Nitadori finally chimed in.

The atmosphere just feels depressing for some reason.

Normally, a 17 year old boy and a 16 year old girl wouldn't be talking about such matters, right?

Shouldn't we be talking about topics where we feel hope for the future, happily discussing our future dreams? Not brood over here, wondering what'll happen if we lose our jobs? How do we prepare for our lives? And stuff like that.

No matter good or bad, I do find that we aren't ordinary.

Of course, we aren't special either.