The Circumstances Leading to Waltraute's Marriage:Volume1 Chapter 2

Status: Incomplete

Chapter 2: The Weapons of the Gods were not Created by the Gods

Part 1

As usual, Waltraute the Valkyrie was peering down to the human world of Midgard from the 3rd runway of Bifröst which acted as the entrance and exit of the heavenly world of Asgard. Waltraute was married to a boy who lived in the human world, but she had been forced to live apart from him due to various circumstances.

Frigg, the goddess married to the head god Odin, had lately started spending her time on the 3rd runway as well (she was more interested in happily watching Waltraute and the boy’s relationship than she was interested in the boy himself), so that 3rd runway had been unusable for quite some time. There were even rumors that Iðunn, the goddess who grew the apples of immortality, was planning to open a street stall there. Heimdallr, the watchman who was in charge of Bifröst, had reached the state of resignation.

Then along came a goddess who was completely unable to pick up on the mood of the situation.

Appearance-wise, she seemed about the same age as Waltraute.

“Nyaho! It is I, Freyja, Asgard’s most beautiful goddess. How are things for you fleeting stars that are hidden by the sun of my beauty!?”

Waltraute loudly clicked her tongue to express her annoyance at the intrusion.

“…Oh, it’s the pig.”

“Don’t be so blunt, Miss Valkyrie!! It may be true that I am also known as Sýr which means sow, but I am a fertility god, so it can’t be helped. Pigs and boars are common symbols of gluttony and fecundity.”

“So why are you here?”

“I have of course come to congratulate you, Waltraute. Congratulate you for reaching life’s graveyard!! Ga ha ha ha ha ha ha!!”

She seemed to be referring to marriage.

Freyja wiggled her hips, causing her pigtailed hair and the ends of her frilly outfit to shake about.

“Congratulations on the marriage, Waltraute!! Another star shining in the sky has gone out, making my own radiance all the brighter!! Isn’t it great!? Isn’t it wonderful!? Nya ha ha!!”

“…But aren’t you married? What happened to Óðr?”

“He suddenly disappeared one day, so I am now transcendentally free!! I’m still receiving all sorts of proposals from the giants, but I just reject them all! I’m starting to get tired of their different efforts, though. One even teased Thor by hiding Mjölnir which made him cry!! Fwa ha ha!! It sure is tough being a popular girl!!”

Frigg had remained silent for the past bit not because she had been overwhelmed by Freyja’s presence but because she was desperately trying to contain her anger after having the purpose of her existence denied like that. No one was better at angering other women than that (self-proclaimed) goddess of beauty.

“Well? Well? Who is this boy that won over a Valkyrie?”

“Uuh… What does it matter? I would rather not tell a pervert like you.”

Waltraute was hesitant to tell her.

After all, Freyja was the goddess said to have forgotten her chastity inside her mother when she was born. She defiantly insisted it was part of her job as she was the goddess of fertility, but she clearly acted out of her own interests. She had even slept with 4 dwarves simply because she wanted the necklace called Brísingamen, so it was obvious she was simply crazy.

Waltraute was not about to introduce that boy to someone like that.

“Hm? So are the rumors of it being some fat, hairy, black-hearted old man true?”

“He is a boy!! Look, it is that slender but strong-hearted boy using that ash tree to stay out of the rain! Do not insult the one who won my hand, you fool!!”

“I see. I see.”

Waltraute immediately regretted having said that, so she began violently smashing her forehead against the 3rd runway and very nearly destroyed a portion of Bifröst. But it was too late.

The goddess of beauty peered down into the human world and said, “Oh, he looks so cute. So you’re into that kind of thing. Do you play the older sister character?”

“N-no!! This was the result of a serious competition! And I am one of the ones who must watch over the results of conflicts and competition in the human world. It just so happens that boy was on the winning side of the competition!!”

“But don’t you feel a bit lucky? At the very least, you have to think this is better than the hairy and black-hearted old man I mentioned before.”

“…”

Waltraute let fly a spear-like glance.

Heimdallr would have balled up his body as if he was trying to fit inside a wooden box, but Freyja merely folded her arms and grinned.

“But let me be honest here. That boy might be good enough for a roll in the hay or two, but is he really worth offering the rest of your life to? I would go for more of a dandy who…”

Before Freyja could get completely lost in her own world, the boy hiding from the rain in Midgard looked up into the sky.

He could of course not see all the way to Asgard with his naked eyes.

He simply looked up into the sky that was covered in rain clouds and said, “Hang in there, sun.”

Freyja, the goddess of fertility, accidentally got serious.

A malfunction of her powers as the goddess in charge of harvest and the weather began to cause a serious drought in the human world.

“Wait! Freyjaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!! Why are you letting my husband get to you!?”

“What!? Wh-what did I just do…?’

“Don’t act like you don’t know!! And the weather is under your brother Freyr’s jurisdiction! Are you really so horrible that you will butt in on someone else’s territory just to show off!?”

As Freyja worked to stop her nosebleed and regain her cool, the weather in Midgard became a calm sunny day.

With her bleeding stopped, Freyja cleared her throat and began spewing abusive language once more to regain the previous tone of the conversation.

“Anyway. How are things now that you have wandered into life’s graveyard aka marriage, Miss Valkyrie? Have your days of housework and looking after your husband given you joint pain and the smell of an old lady!?” Freyja’s tone made it obvious she knew just how rude she was being. “Oh, but I heard you are living apart. Have things cooled down so soon after the honeymoon? Gya ha ha! What a disaster! This is just a disaster!! Are you on the path to a break up just a few days after getting married!? That’s hilarious!!”

“Th-that is not true.”

“Nyah?”

“W-wait, no! I did not mean it like that, you fool! I was the loser and so I cannot have you insulting the victor!!”

“Fine, fine. So did something happen? Or is something coming up? Tell me, tell me.”

Freyja grinned and Waltraute’s shoulders trembled as she responded in a low voice.

“…We have a date in 3 days.”

“What?”

Freyja froze in place.

It seemed Frigg had also not known this because her eyes opened wide.

Waltraute awkwardly continued, “Also, I just got back from one. That is why I am observing the boy to determine his reaction. I need to know what I did right and what I did wrong.”

“…You go on dates…even though you’re married…?”

“How innocent!! Oh, Waltraute!! You are just so innocent!!”

Frigg seemed to especially lose her self-control over this. It was possible she had issues with Odin as a husband.

“This goes back to that original challenge. As I lost, I must do my best to serve the victor. For that reason, I must go on a date when that boy wishes for it. The name of the victory prize he asks for does not matter.”

“So in other words, ‘Ahh, I lost! But I am relieved because you have the courage to ask me on a date. Thank you, boy. Smooch smooch.’ ”

“Please explain to me what about my explanation led you to that conclusion.”

“There was definitely a casting mistake in having that role played by that muscular machoman Heimdallr before. The high-pitched goddess Freyja is much better suited for the role!!”

Waltraute’s sharp gaze was unable to stop the two goddesses.

The goddess of beauty moved in closer to Waltraute and asked, “Well, well? What’s with the post-marriage dates? From that I’m going to assume the two of you haven’t done it yet. I can’t picture this at all, so tell me what this date you just went on was like.”

“N-nothing happened that would make an interesting story.”

Waltraute, the Valkyrie who was top class when it came to strength, began to tell the story…

Part 2

Waltraute lived in the heavenly world of Asgard while the boy lived in the human world of Midgard, so they did not often have a chance to speak with each other.

Waltraute had given the following instructions to the boy if he wanted to contact her:

“Whenever you wish to tell me something, tie a letter to the weather vane on your house’s roof. The two ravens will retrieve the letter and take it to me.”

Huginn and Muninn were fed up with being used for odd jobs, but they found Waltraute’s gaze too frightening to say no when she told them to act as carrier pigeons.

It all began with one of those letters.

When she saw the boy’s handwriting saying “I want to go on a date with you”, Waltraute magnificently overturned a container of an Asgard alcoholic drink and frantically headed down to Midgard.

“What kind of joke is this!? I would never go along with such a shameless demand!!”

“Yay, you came to go on a date with me!”

“Eh? No! That is not why I am here!! Do not continue the conversation without listening to me. Wait! Do not start unpacking that lunch!!”

“?”

“Do not look so puzzled, you fool. A competition. We must decide this with a competition! If you insist on making such an unreasonable demand, you must defeat me first!!”

When she had previously challenged him to see if he could climb the world tree Yggdrasil, it had all spun off in an unexpected direction. Waltraute had learned her lesson from that.

She was no longer going to hold back.

There was simply too great a difference between a Valkyrie and a human when it came to physical ability. Waltraute would win in almost any form of competition.

As such, Waltraute stood in a position where she could crush the boy’s hopes.

“O-okay. Then I challenge you to a game of Super Rune Duel Cards!!”

“Dammit!! You chose something that gives you the advantage thanks to the target demographic!!”

Waltraute started tearing at her beautiful blonde hair, but she was not completely ignorant of that card game that used wooden cards.

The Einherjar the Valkyries gathered and controlled were originally souls from Midgard. For that reason, the culture of Midgard had a way of leaking into Asgard.

And so…

“B-but we must ensure this competition is fair. We must determine each other’s strengths and weaknesses and set up strict rules to ensure-…”

“Duel start!!”

“Wait, why are you starting already!? Honestly, that is the problem with your age group…!”

“Eh heh heh. I get to play card games with Waltraute on our date.”

“This is our competition to see if said date even happens! This is not part of the date!!”

“I use contact on Thurisaz and Raido! Together, the two cards quadruple the damage dealt!!”

“Wait, wait! What do you mean together!?”

“You don’t know, Waltraute? It’s a new rule they added with the third edition.”

“I-I see. I suppose information taken from the dead would indeed be out of date. But I reverse Hagalaz! The damage is sent right back to you!!”

“They got rid of the reverse rule in the second edition.”

“Ehh!? Wait! You need to tell me that kind of thing ahead of time!”

“Okay, two more cards added for a total of four combined together. That’s 16 times the damage. And boom! There goes all your health!!”

“Vahh!! Vahh!!”

And before Waltraute could figure out what was going in, they had a date to go on.

Waltraute blushed, but she had no choice but to carry out her duty as the loser.

“Hm, hm. Hm, hm, hm! And then what happened, Waltraute!? Tell Freyja what happened on this date!!”

“U-um, it was a punishment, so it was nothing as enjoyable as you seem to be imagining.”

Waltraute continued the story while averting her gaze.

Whatever she might say, a loss was a loss.

And so she had to go on a date.

She could not bring a mere human boy to Asgard (Technically she could, but doing so would kill him), so Waltraute had to go to Midgard.

Normally, it would have been the boy’s duty to escort her, but he did not have the financial ability to do so at his age and he had no way of knowing anywhere beautiful enough to satisfy a Valkyrie that could travel freely through the 9 worlds and to any number of castles and palaces.

For that reason, Waltraute was in charge of deciding what they would do on their date. Her plan was to use an Asgard-born white horse to visit various sightseeing spots throughout the human world.

After they got on the horse, the boy said, “Why are you holding the reins from behind me?”

“Because you would fall off otherwise.”

“I feel like I’m being completely enveloped by you. Shouldn’t our positions be reversed?”

“With our difference in height, you would not be able to see anything from behind me.”

“Also, you armor looks like it would hurt because it’s so hard.”

“Y-you do not have to touch it directly! You fool!!”

“…”

“J-just enjoy the scenery!! Do not worry about me! I will show you a view that can only be seen from one of these Asgard-born horses that can easily travel any dangerous route!!”

Part 11

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