Talk:Kokoro Connect:Volume 3 Epilogue
Keeping these here as a note to myself, and a few replies.
Specific Sentence Editing[edit]
Mihashi appeared hesitant for a moment, then she murmured:
Me: She didn't exactly look away, more like she look back and forth from Yui, as a sign of hesitation rather than avoidance. I rephrased it. See if this works.
Shiina: Looks fine! Just thought it'd be nice to keep the eye movement in it, but I'll think about it.
- I like the eye movement too, I'll figure something out later after I finish Michi.
Perhaps the world has been that simple all along.
Shiina: On second reading, we need a perfect present participle here since it was (and continues to be) simple.
- That sounds good. I like that notion of it. Something for me to use in future translations too.
Hereafter, however, will I continue to follow this feeling?
Me: I'm changing this back to something more subtle. She's implying 'something' that she's doing base on this 'ideal feeling.' 'Feel the same' seems too direct.
Shiina: Ah, perhaps "build on this feeling" then? (Original sounds awkward)
- I see what you mean. We can figure something out. I'll note this for now.
I feel truly grateful, but also sorry towards him.
Me: There's a difference between 'sorry for' and 'sorry towards.' 'For' places the emphasis on the other, that the speaker feels bad for what happened to the other, whereas 'towards' places the emphasis on self, as in the speaker feels bad for what he/she is committing towards the other.
Shiina: I see your point, but I don't think "sorry towards" is a phrase... It might be worth it to write "sorry for the things I've done to him", if need be.
- It is a phrase. Not as common as 'sorry for', but that's because most of the time people don't have the need to indicate whom they are sorry towards. However, it is used from time to time.
——Lantern (Talk) - 23:51, 25 October 2012 (CDT)
I guess I've just never heard of it then, heh. I'll think about the other things for now as well, and hopefully get back to it at some later time. --Shiina (talk) 20:09, 25 October 2012 (CDT)
