NouCome: Volume 1 Afterword

Afterword

The title of this novel’s pretty long. It seems to be all the craze these days.

Since I won’t get the chance to do this often, I might as well play around a little with its abbreviations.

《俺の脳内选択肢が、学园ラブコメを全力で邪魔してい》

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「俺の脳」 (My brain) Seems like something Miyamoto-sensei would write.

「俺がコメを邪魔している」 (I’m destroying paddy fields) Farmers would get angry.

「俺は脳をしている」 (I am brain) T...this one is deep. Seems like a title to some book on philosophy.

「俺の学力」 (My learning capabilities) I was 159th in my grade...let’s not talk about that.

「俺ラブ」 (I love) Narcissistic.

「俺でしている」 (I am me) ...What?

「俺の脳内学園」 (My imaginary school) It’s filled with girls that love me.

「俺の園」 (My garden) Whoa!

「俺の園でしている」 (Doing it in my garden) Whoa -!

「俺が邪魔」 (I get in the way) All sorts of main characters exist.

「俺学」 (I am learn) The name of the main character is Kanade.

「俺がガンダムだ」 (I am a Gundam) I just put this one in for fun.

「が’学園」 (G-Gakuen, i.e. S-school) I stuttered.

「のがをで」 (The am while it) This title makes no sense.

「ラメ」 (Don’t~) The fact that there’s no「エ」in this sentence is causing me great regret. (TL note: That’s the character ‘E’ in Japanese, and this line doesn’t seem to make sense.)

「ラブコメ力」 (Romantic comedy power) I want that too.

「学園ラブ」 (Schoolyard love) Please don’t promote prohibited relationships.

「選園全魔」 (All the selection fields) It’s a finishing move I thought up.

「全力でしている」 (I’ll give it my all) This seems like a nice name for an autobiography, what do you guys think?

「魔」 (Demon) If you paste this on your back you can become one of the Piccolos. (TL note: The author is referring to the character Piccolo from Dragon Ball who has this character on the back of his shirt.)

「でている」 (It came out) ...What?

「脳がでている」 (The brain leaked out) That’s a gory scene.

「脳が邪魔」 (The brain gets in the way) Just die then.

「脳が学園を全力でしている」 (Brain is school with all it can) Please speak proper Japanese

「脳内’全力で邪」 (The inside of my brain is evil) AKA middle school students

Long time no see, or should I say nice to meet you. Hello everyone, my name is Takeru Kusukabe.

Since I don’t have much more space left for this afterword as I spent so much of it messing around, I’ll just get to the point and say what I have to.

Firstly I want to apologize to editor Miss Y. Since I had too many dirty punchlines in my book, she had to utter a lot of words that tested the limits of her dignity while we were discussing the plot of the book over the phone, in fact it was almost like humiliation play...could we please do that a few more times?

Also, to Yukiwo-sensei who’s been helping out with the illustrations for this book, your drafts never fail to remind me how amazing of a job being a light novel writer is. In my mind, Chocolat on the main cover isn’t wearing anything. Don’t try to convince me otherwise, she isn’t wearing anything. Got it?

Next up are all the unsung heroes who have poured in their blood, sweat and tears to ensure this book makes it safely from the production stages over to the shelves, I simply can’t thank you all enough.

Lastly, I want to dedicate my most sincere gratitude to every single one of you readers who have taken the time to purchase my work.

So, see you all once again in the second volume.

December 2011 - Takeru Kusukabe

And now we have a preview for the next volume brought to you by none other than Yukihira Furano’s sharp tongue!

A preview? I don’t think we need to do something like that for a novel that may not even receive a continuation, right?

(It’ll definitely come out next spring, so Yukihira-san, please use that signature sharp tongue of yours to briefly make an introduction.)

So you bunch of low, dirty pigs really want me to give you the low-down on the next volume? Oh well, I guess as the Queen of Pigs I’ll have to make an exception just this once, let’s go-oink~

(I have a feeling this is going to get weird...anyway there’s gonna be a lot of new female characters next volume, could you also say a few words regarding them as well?)

It seems that all these new characters are girls even smaller than I am.

(Sadly, none of these characters have more low-profiled chests than Yukihira-san.)

...It appears that all these new characters are all homosexuals after Amakusa-san’s butt.

(Now who would buy a book like that...one of them will claim to be Amakusa Kanade’s sister.)

It seems that the next volume will be mainly about how Amakusa-san forces a young, elementary school-aged girl into pretending to be his sister and doing a lot of XXX things together.

(...That’s enough...anyway just mention the title of the book again and end this whole thing already.)

《俺の脳内选択肢が、学园ラブコメを全力で邪魔してい》, also known as 《のうコメ》’s next volume will be arriving soon, so until then, I hope you pigs can oink and crawl about while waiting.

(We definitely got the wrong person to do this.)